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define this for me
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you think this is an affair waiting to happen?
Have worked with a guy now for four years in the same office as myself. Were of a similar age, both married and with a young family and get along really well.
Have been with my man for almost sixteen years and never been like this before.
Three xmas parties ago we got really pissed and ended up kissing. After the first the we never spoke about it until another works night out where it was all we talked about but it didnt happen again. Well the following xmas we kissed again and he basically told me if we were not married he would fuck the arse off me.
Well yet again after the works do we were kissing and he fingered me in the back of a taxi which really made me want him more.
Since then we have been really flirting by text and act completely professional in the work place like nothings going on.
We obviously want to but do we risk this maybe just the once. Honestly in such a moral dilemma as i to want to and want to wind him up enough for this to happen but the little angel sitting on my other shoulder is telling me no.
Anyone ever been in a situation like this or perhaps tell me how to resolve this?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"sex and the work very rarely works out well.
I think you both should stop...
 things like this never work out and have a habit of getting nasty!"
*hardly* ever. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have both crossed the line with the kissing etc, and obviously have some sort of chemistry, so why would going all the way make any difference?
As far as i can see the 'cheating' is already going on with the texting etc.
Oh yeah, and the fact your on here without your husbands knowledge pretty much rules out any moral reasoning! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's pretty much already an affair really. You're thinking about this guy, you've kissed him and had a sexual encounter with him. What would you gain from just one fuck? A lifetime of guilt and NEVER being able to watch Jezza Kyle for a morbid fear of hearing the words "since the start of your relationship have you had sexual intercourse with any other person" You probably already can't bear that sentence with "passionately kissed" or "had sexual contact". Unless of course you have no conscience, if so then you need to decide how good a liar you are.
If you can't keep your mind off this bloke then I would genuinely consider changing your job, or just stop going to the works nights out, as that seems to be where it all happens.
Cut contact with this man and focus on your partner and the rest of your family. Remember why you fell in love with your OH in the first place and remember what you could potentially lose if you went through with an affair with this other man. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Leave your work life and sexy life apart I tried mixing the two years ago and ut all went horribly wrong..
Or find a new job and bang the living daylights of out each other |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yes youre all right. I have obviously had nobody to talk to this about and that s obviously because i am ashamed of it all.
Unfortunately i do have to sit within six feet of this guy as there is only one office for us all to sit in.
Thanks guys and girls x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Nope conscious effort to not text and keep away at our works party and not get tipsy too.
Cant avoid the guy as its my job to assist him and the other guys but nothing non work related.
I do have willpower haha.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just know that if/when you do it you cannot undo it.....and at some point when you want to stop and he doesn't or visa versa, (cos lets face it your never going to stop at one once the excitement and adrenaline kicks in) the shit will hit the proverbial fan and you will loose what you have....good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your husband is aware of your need for bisexual experiences (profile suggests) and presumably is supportive. I think that the very fact you are on this site, your partner is aware of your needs a male excursion would not be the end of the world? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the fact that you work that close together is the reason I would avoid getting involved ~ as I think either the incessant flirting or the inevitable fallout will totally piss your colleagues off! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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They all oblivious to it all we do a gpmjt job of acting completely normal round each other. and yeah sitting next to the guy for four years gapmt helped cause we got close. Honestly ive decided it has to stop. Focus more on work than office banter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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business and pleasure do not work...
you're playing with fire, both of you!
However if its acceptable for you to meet guys/women on here and you can both keep it purely NSA then go for it... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well came here for women. Hubby has no idea about this.
Honestly choop, nobody knows. Were an office of fifteen and of being the only girl i get all the stick but in a fun way.
We never ever flirt at work, chat about work crap banter and tv totally nom flirty
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
I don't think it is uncommon to have a 'work husband/wife'. A lot of people end up with someone of the opposite sex who they bond with really well. I used to have a girl who I was extremely close to in my last job and we'd spend a lot of the day sending emails to each other and helping each other out with works stuff. Not many people go further, though.
It is fun and possibly slightly intoxicating, but rather dangerous.
As this is me, I don't feel I can leave it without a gag. So please remember to get him a ball gag in the works secret Santa.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Dunno you should mention a work husband, my work husband is one of the other men in the office and not the one the topic is about.
A previous employee of the male variety once told me that im a witch i have them all under my spell haha.
Probably all about the excitement really that s triggered it all.
Honestly i am going to behave from now on x x
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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago
solihull |
I have never known of an affair or indiscretipns of op kind that has not endef with someone being very hurt. If you are happy to lose your husband then continue if you must. If you want to stay with your husband it must stop
People will be hurt, probably you. |
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We cant tell you what to do with your life. If you have an open relationship with your partner, or happy to be deceitful, then consider the implications of ruining life at work, his partners happiness etc. It all seems immature and stupid, but thats my _iewpoint. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gobsmacked to read this, and your attitude to comments, right decision made must stop and concentrate at work.
Never mind yes good idea as been paid to do your job or you have already been unfaithful anyway but blimey why on earth get married to be so deceitful  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your on a Swingers site as a single Female = your after a fuck pure and simple so where does the "work colleague" even come into it.
Oooops Morality hush thy mouth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having an affair with someone at work will have disastrous circumstances and in the end it won't be worth it. if this starts you may think others dont know but it becomes quite Obvious , body language is easy to read. The way you will subconsciously touch and flick your hair, touch your face, change your clothes, your make up, the way your voice will change when speaking to him, the covert looks etc.
Of course its all exciting and new, you will have a bounce in your step, look forward to work with a new vigour, illicit love is very exciting. Of course these signals are visible at home too and either your hubby or his wife may pick up on them, start looking for clues, looking at phones etc.
And if they ever find evidence it won't be much fun if they turn up at your workplace, screaming at you in front of your boss and other colleagues.
But noone can tell others this, you will do it, you are only denying it here as most of the thread spells out the inevitable disaster and its easier to say ' oh ok forumites, ill be good, I won't do it'.
But you know you will, on Monday you'll continue flirting cos its already started, you can't stop til you have sex, and you wont be able to stop after that. Enjoy these early days good times.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your on a Swingers site as a single Female = your after a fuck pure and simple so where does the "work colleague" even come into it.
Oooops Morality hush thy mouth "
But you are quite correct. I think the OP is looking for conscience appeasement and that goes for either sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dont do it I talk from experience I fell for a work colleague after a xmas party it started with the flirting then texting next thing I new full blown affair and it was great for a while but it didnt work out I was lucky no body found out but it could of been very messy.so leave it well alone. Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having an affair with someone at work will have disastrous circumstances and in the end it won't be worth it. if this starts you may think others dont know but it becomes quite Obvious , body language is easy to read. The way you will subconsciously touch and flick your hair, touch your face, change your clothes, your make up, the way your voice will change when speaking to him, the covert looks etc.
Of course its all exciting and new, you will have a bounce in your step, look forward to work with a new vigour, illicit love is very exciting. Of course these signals are visible at home too and either your hubby or his wife may pick up on them, start looking for clues, looking at phones etc.
And if they ever find evidence it won't be much fun if they turn up at your workplace, screaming at you in front of your boss and other colleagues.
But noone can tell others this, you will do it, you are only denying it here as most of the thread spells out the inevitable disaster and its easier to say ' oh ok forumites, ill be good, I won't do it'.
But you know you will, on Monday you'll continue flirting cos its already started, you can't stop til you have sex, and you wont be able to stop after that. Enjoy these early days good times. "
that is so spot on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its amazing the difference in attitudes from people because the op is a female . . . . .  "
only difference i can see is there arent loads of men saying 'yeah, go on, get it up her' as there usually is when blokes comment on this.
most have said not to do it.
OP, you are on here looking for women, so thats obviously an itch your OH ant scratch for you, whether you are deceitful about this desire or not is for your own conscience to deal with.
workbased affairs very very rarely work out well, usually ending with someone being hurt, and ultimately having to look for gainful employment elsewhere.
its a shame you couldnt have stopped it before he got watch deep inside you as he has already now tasted the desert and will want to lick the spoon.
if you are certain about not going any further, you are going to have to tell him in no uncertain terms you are no longer interested.
lets not forget, its not just your own marriage you would be ruining, its his too, and whereas you may not be completely fulfilled in yours, his may be happy, but i doubt it.
as has been said, i have no idea why so many people get married then decide its not what they want, but hey ho |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Having an affair with someone at work will have disastrous circumstances and in the end it won't be worth it. if this starts you may think others dont know but it becomes quite Obvious , body language is easy to read. The way you will subconsciously touch and flick your hair, touch your face, change your clothes, your make up, the way your voice will change when speaking to him, the covert looks etc.
Of course its all exciting and new, you will have a bounce in your step, look forward to work with a new vigour, illicit love is very exciting. Of course these signals are visible at home too and either your hubby or his wife may pick up on them, start looking for clues, looking at phones etc.
And if they ever find evidence it won't be much fun if they turn up at your workplace, screaming at you in front of your boss and other colleagues.
But noone can tell others this, you will do it, you are only denying it here as most of the thread spells out the inevitable disaster and its easier to say ' oh ok forumites, ill be good, I won't do it'.
But you know you will, on Monday you'll continue flirting cos its already started, you can't stop til you have sex, and you wont be able to stop after that. Enjoy these early days good times. "
The wise woman has spoken. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's interesting really that you are on here to fine female friends and playmates, but this is about a developing affair with a man!!!
You could of course take the decision to stop totally this affair and remove your profile from this site.
You could then do a bit of taking stock of your life and sit down with your husband and really talk to him.
Talk about your collective fantasies and desires share what both of you want out of the bedroom activities and how you want to achieve this. Be totally honest about your desire to explore your Bi side and ask him if he will go with you on the journey.
Join back up together or with his full knowledge and let him support you in your selection of a playmate.
You may find your desire to play away from home disappears.
Good luck |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I don't judge why married people stray - they have their reasons even if I don't understand them.
Having an affair with another married person at least means you both have as much to lose as each other. That's the risk you take. If one of you wants to take it further than the other though the whole pack of cards comes tumbling down.
Your colleagues will already know, even if they are all men. I was that lone woman in an all male environment when I was much younger. I slept with my boss, everyone knew before we even did the deed. When we stopped sleeping with each other a couple of the other men saw that as the green light for their chance - after all I had form. I left, none of them thought that anyone other than me should go.
It's your workplace and even putting the brakes on now will seep through to your colleagues. Tread carefully.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've seen it so many times at work and it was rampant in the establishment I worked in.
One secretary started seeing one of the guys I worked with. She used to wear trousers and shirt and suddenly started wearing dresses and ankle strap 4 inch stilettos, they might as well have had sex in front of us all.
And when his wife found out after seeing texts, the screaming from the front office as she called him a cheating bastard and her a dirty slag could be heard around the whole station.
Its just never pretty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its amazing the difference in attitudes from people because the op is a female . . . . .
only difference i can see is there arent loads of men saying 'yeah, go on, get it up her' as there usually is when blokes comment on this.
most have said not to do it.
OP, you are on here looking for women, so thats obviously an itch your OH ant scratch for you, whether you are deceitful about this desire or not is for your own conscience to deal with.
workbased affairs very very rarely work out well, usually ending with someone being hurt, and ultimately having to look for gainful employment elsewhere.
its a shame you couldnt have stopped it before he got watch deep inside you as he has already now tasted the desert and will want to lick the spoon.
if you are certain about not going any further, you are going to have to tell him in no uncertain terms you are no longer interested.
lets not forget, its not just your own marriage you would be ruining, its his too, and whereas you may not be completely fulfilled in yours, his may be happy, but i doubt it.
as has been said, i have no idea why so many people get married then decide its not what they want, but hey ho"
I didnt mean attitudes as far as saying do it or dont, was more a case of people advising the op that she shouldnt get involved, but if the op was male it would have been more a case of him being a cheating scumbag who shouldnt be here, what about his poor wife etc etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its amazing the difference in attitudes from people because the op is a female . . . . .
only difference i can see is there arent loads of men saying 'yeah, go on, get it up her' as there usually is when blokes comment on this.
most have said not to do it.
OP, you are on here looking for women, so thats obviously an itch your OH ant scratch for you, whether you are deceitful about this desire or not is for your own conscience to deal with.
workbased affairs very very rarely work out well, usually ending with someone being hurt, and ultimately having to look for gainful employment elsewhere.
its a shame you couldnt have stopped it before he got watch deep inside you as he has already now tasted the desert and will want to lick the spoon.
if you are certain about not going any further, you are going to have to tell him in no uncertain terms you are no longer interested.
lets not forget, its not just your own marriage you would be ruining, its his too, and whereas you may not be completely fulfilled in yours, his may be happy, but i doubt it.
as has been said, i have no idea why so many people get married then decide its not what they want, but hey ho
I didnt mean attitudes as far as saying do it or dont, was more a case of people advising the op that she shouldnt get involved, but if the op was male it would have been more a case of him being a cheating scumbag who shouldnt be here, what about his poor wife etc etc."
indeed, but my post wouldnt have been too far different lol.
try not to offer in expletives or harsh language, that said, most dont/wont take any notice.
OP is probably going to fill her boots next time drink and a works do rears its ugly head anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its amazing the difference in attitudes from people because the op is a female . . . . .
only difference i can see is there arent loads of men saying 'yeah, go on, get it up her' as there usually is when blokes comment on this.
most have said not to do it.
OP, you are on here looking for women, so thats obviously an itch your OH ant scratch for you, whether you are deceitful about this desire or not is for your own conscience to deal with.
workbased affairs very very rarely work out well, usually ending with someone being hurt, and ultimately having to look for gainful employment elsewhere.
its a shame you couldnt have stopped it before he got watch deep inside you as he has already now tasted the desert and will want to lick the spoon.
if you are certain about not going any further, you are going to have to tell him in no uncertain terms you are no longer interested.
lets not forget, its not just your own marriage you would be ruining, its his too, and whereas you may not be completely fulfilled in yours, his may be happy, but i doubt it.
as has been said, i have no idea why so many people get married then decide its not what they want, but hey ho
I didnt mean attitudes as far as saying do it or dont, was more a case of people advising the op that she shouldnt get involved, but if the op was male it would have been more a case of him being a cheating scumbag who shouldnt be here, what about his poor wife etc etc."
I think that's a fair assessment ~ there would be more of those type of comments if the OP was male.
There are people though that are consistent in their approach regardless of gender and this shows through on this thread too.
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