FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is it just me......
Is it just me......
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Possibly but that is up to them I guess. I've seen what a break up of a relationship can do and people go into self preservation mode so shut off from love etc its about looking after yourself and if that means shutting off from feelings etc that is up to them...Ive never done that but Im cautious about my feelings etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Erm.... The thought of love terrifies me, couldn't even pluck up the courage to go on a proper date last night after being let down Sat night.
I do believe in love, it's just not for me.
Does that make me damaged? I just think I'm realistic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I'm included to agree with you, especially after reading some of the Forum posts recently. I'm not actively looking for it but I'm not against the idea either  |
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"Erm.... The thought of love terrifies me, couldn't even pluck up the courage to go on a proper date last night after being let down Sat night.
I do believe in love, it's just not for me.
Does that make me damaged? I just think I'm realistic."
Or maybe the right person has not come along yet.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never experienced love, no idea what it feels like, think at 53 I'm way too old to find it, too set in my ways, not really had the time or opportunity in the last few years to have the time to date hence being on here as I do like the and miss company, just not looking for anything else. And yes the past has damaged the idea of love so prefer not to bother |
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I suppose it depends on your point of _iew.... I've seen a lot of love on here, in fact often see a love within swinging couples that a lot of "vanilla" couples could only dream of.
If you're on here as a single, looking for singles it may just be that there is a larger demographic in that circle?
I expect everyone has their reasons, and we've all had good/bad experiences, to which I'm sure some will be more affected than others.
If they are on here then I would "presume" on the whole they are not looking for love at this point in their lives, hence why it may seem more noticeable?
Just a thought.
D |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or are more here that are so broken they no longer believe in love and the thought of love or more than a fwb sends them running for the hills"
Iv always believed in love and believe I will meet my love when the time is right.
I would say I do need to lift the barrier a bit as I find it hard to actually go on a proper date! I never do a social first with meets From here, for that reason (even though I know it's not a date) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suppose it depends on your point of _iew.... I've seen a lot of love on here, in fact often see a love within swinging couples that a lot of "vanilla" couples could only dream of.
D"
I love this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not on here actively looking for love. I think if I was I would probably be on plenty of fish or one of the other dating sites.
But that doesn't mean I would completely discount the notion if it became apparent that someone I met on here was looking for more.
I certainly wouldn't run for the hills screaming lol
It's difficult to predict when those type of feelings are going to creep up on you and bite you on the arse. In my experience it can happen when you least expect it
I think one of the worst things you can do is to go "looking for love". You are likely to end up accepting second best and waking up one day realising you've made a mistake |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the only place I will find love on here as im on here most of the time...However Im not about to fall for the next bloke I meet off here...Im picky i guess..n  "
Did you not experience instant love when you saw me on Saturday? AND you didn't buy me a drink Cheeky!!! |
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By *eKoopleCouple
over a year ago
Germany / Manchester |
It's not love that's terrifying, it's the breakup, that awful gut retching feeling that lasts for a period of time but almost feels like eternity and the only time that goes away is when we find somebody else to fill that void. I think another problem is some people tend to go from one sh*tty relationship to another and never get traction, so when they attach themselves that new person all rational thinking is out of the way until the cracks start to appear. Love is a great thing but it requires more understanding than what we give it. Nobody should feel like cr*p because they're scared of love, they've just not found the right person. For me it took 20 years, there's hope for all. |
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"It's not love that's terrifying, it's the breakup, that awful gut retching feeling that lasts for a period of time but almost feels like eternity and the only time that goes away is when we find somebody else to fill that void. I think another problem is some people tend to go from one sh*tty relationship to another and never get traction, so when they attach themselves that new person all rational thinking is out of the way until the cracks start to appear. Love is a great thing but it requires more understanding than what we give it. Nobody should feel like cr*p because they're scared of love, they've just not found the right person. For me it took 20 years, there's hope for all."
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By *adyGarden OP Woman
over a year ago
LONDON (se) |
"If you close your heart to love you could easily let Mr right slip through your fingers.
We've all had a broken heart at sometime
"
I think I have done just that. I just can't bare the pain of being broken hearted and don't think it's worth the pain |
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"I think the only place I will find love on here as im on here most of the time...However Im not about to fall for the next bloke I meet off here...Im picky i guess..n
Did you not experience instant love when you saw me on Saturday? AND you didn't buy me a drink Cheeky!!!"
You were otherwise engaged....and why the hell would I buy u a drink lop |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Erm.... The thought of love terrifies me, couldn't even pluck up the courage to go on a proper date last night after being let down Sat night.
I do believe in love, it's just not for me.
Does that make me damaged? I just think I'm realistic.
Or maybe the right person has not come along yet.."
When he does it will be the wrong time, wrong place |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Reading some of these posts is making me sad 
You can't close your mind to finding love because you've been hurt in the past.
My first love (many years ago) broke my heart. I spent months and months grieving for her.
But you can't deny what a great feeling it is to be in love
So why completely shut out the chance of ever experiencing that great feeling again?
I once read somewhere "pain is inevitable, suffering is optional" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well a lot come on a sex site to look for fast lane sex without the strings as maybe been hurt looking or something different. And think its easy like that shag move to the next. But I think some may get a shock to find out not everyone is playing that game .As Some like to get to know the people they have sex with and more than once and can end up having feelings and it can feel like more of a date then a shag . So you could find love here . You could find love in Tescos .. lol no telling really as it can come out of the blue when you're not looking . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well a lot come on a sex site to look for fast lane sex without the strings as maybe been hurt looking or something different. And think its easy like that shag move to the next. But I think some may get a shock to find out not everyone is playing that game .As Some like to get to know the people they have sex with and more than once and can end up having feelings and it can feel like more of a date then a shag . So you could find love here . You could find love in Tescos .. lol no telling really as it can come out of the blue when you're not looking . "
Well said! You don't see love coming. It creeps up behind you and bites you on the arse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or are more here that are so broken they no longer believe in love and the thought of love or more than a fwb sends them running for the hills"
Reading many profiles does give the impression of a damaged person, the anger and frustration shines through in many cases, Almost as if they expect to attract others with problems. And hey, they will do, because like attracts like.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Reading some of these posts is making me sad
You can't close your mind to finding love because you've been hurt in the past.
My first love (many years ago) broke my heart. I spent months and months grieving for her.
But you can't deny what a great feeling it is to be in love
So why completely shut out the chance of ever experiencing that great feeling again?
I once read somewhere "pain is inevitable, suffering is optional" "
I was hurt when I was 20, said then never again, decided not to let it happen again, hence being celibate for 35 years !
Slowly dipping my toes into the water, but not looking for love, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if you dont open yourself up to the prospect of love, you allow yourself to go through life without finding it, however, allowing yourself to love i suppose opens yourself to get hurt.
its not ideal, but life is about good and bad.
you learn to live, you learn to give each other, what you need to survive, together alive...... |
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Im seeing the opposite.
First message, 'looking for fb possibly more; not just one time nsa' 
I won't commit to anything before I've gotten to know someone; never mind in a first message on a swinging site  |
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"I'm not on here actively looking for love. I think if I was I would probably be on plenty of fish or one of the other dating sites.
But that doesn't mean I would completely discount the notion if it became apparent that someone I met on here was looking for more.
I certainly wouldn't run for the hills screaming lol
It's difficult to predict when those type of feelings are going to creep up on you and bite you on the arse. In my experience it can happen when you least expect it
I think one of the worst things you can do is to go "looking for love". You are likely to end up accepting second best and waking up one day realising you've made a mistake"
Yes, I tried looking on the dating sites at first, but there's so much deception and psychosis on there I came to feel it's the last place to actually find someone, haha!!
So, I came here as a bit of a refugee expecting nothing, and I have come to the conclusion that quite a lot of rather lovely single people have also ended up being refugees here!
I've had a couple of nibbles on the bum already, so you never know!!
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being at either end of the two extremes is not healthy in my opinion.
Looking for love can be just as problematic as completely disregarding the chance
If you go looking for love it's likely you will find it in the wrong places. It won't be love. It will be a substitute, and because you are so busy looking you won't realise it's not the real thing. You might discover the fact years later and carnage ensues.
But you can't completely dismiss the chance either. Because you will risk the chance of letting "the special one" get away.
My mantra is to go with the flow. Whatever will be, will be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not on here actively looking for love. I think if I was I would probably be on plenty of fish or one of the other dating sites.
But that doesn't mean I would completely discount the notion if it became apparent that someone I met on here was looking for more.
I certainly wouldn't run for the hills screaming lol
It's difficult to predict when those type of feelings are going to creep up on you and bite you on the arse. In my experience it can happen when you least expect it
I think one of the worst things you can do is to go "looking for love". You are likely to end up accepting second best and waking up one day realising you've made a mistake
Yes, I tried looking on the dating sites at first, but there's so much deception and psychosis on there I came to feel it's the last place to actually find someone, haha!!
So, I came here as a bit of a refugee expecting nothing, and I have come to the conclusion that quite a lot of rather lovely single people have also ended up being refugees here!
I've had a couple of nibbles on the bum already, so you never know!!
"
Had a few nibbles but not been bitten yet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suppose it depends on your point of _iew.... I've seen a lot of love on here, in fact often see a love within swinging couples that a lot of "vanilla" couples could only dream of.
D I love this "
love it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont know if love is the right word.. But, I've only dabbled on here. Feelings develop and then its back to earth with a bump.
Self enforced chastity for me on this site. Witnessed too much sordid stuff.
I will be going soon. Im no swinger. Step away from the web is my thing at the min.
I believe in love but won't find it here when im refusing meets... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being at either end of the two extremes is not healthy in my opinion.
Looking for love can be just as problematic as completely disregarding the chance
If you go looking for love it's likely you will find it in the wrong places. It won't be love. It will be a substitute, and because you are so busy looking you won't realise it's not the real thing. You might discover the fact years later and carnage ensues.
But you can't completely dismiss the chance either. Because you will risk the chance of letting "the special one" get away.
My mantra is to go with the flow. Whatever will be, will be "
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Does lightning strike twice in the same place? I certainly hope so!
I was very lucky, and had a wonderful partner, a great marriage, and we were happy for many many years, till it sadly ended two years ago.
Now I am on my own, and of course I would love to meet somebody special, fall in love, and live together happily ever after.
But I am not at all sure if it will happen for me. Will my dreams come true?
So in the meantime I am on here, having lots of fun, and trying to enjoy life and making the most of each day!
And meeting some wonderful people and having fantastic experiences on the way!
LOVE? Yes please, but whilst I am waiting I am having fun!
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does lightning strike twice in the same place? I certainly hope so!
I was very lucky, and had a wonderful partner, a great marriage, and we were happy for many many years, till it sadly ended two years ago.
Now I am on my own, and of course I would love to meet somebody special, fall in love, and live together happily ever after.
But I am not at all sure if it will happen for me. Will my dreams come true?
So in the meantime I am on here, having lots of fun, and trying to enjoy life and making the most of each day!
And meeting some wonderful people and having fantastic experiences on the way!
LOVE? Yes please, but whilst I am waiting I am having fun!
"
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God bless the defeatist fuck-ups who lack the self-worth to believe that anyone could truly love them.... because after all it would be difficult (to say the least) for anyone who tried.
"I'm not going to fall in love because it hurts too much"... good god what does that really say about someone?
Aside from the obvious lack of emotional maturity, focusing on a negative outcome before the event has even happened is highly likely to develop into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So god bless those who declare their emotional baggage and scars...... it helps normal people avoid the damaged screw-ups! |
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"God bless the defeatist fuck-ups who lack the self-worth to believe that anyone could truly love them.... because after all it would be difficult (to say the least) for anyone who tried.
"I'm not going to fall in love because it hurts too much"... good god what does that really say about someone?
Aside from the obvious lack of emotional maturity, focusing on a negative outcome before the event has even happened is highly likely to develop into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So god bless those who declare their emotional baggage and scars...... it helps normal people avoid the damaged screw-ups!"
Nice to see you polo |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
I have never been in love. I feel totally unfulfilled at times and often bereft with loneliness. I walk around looking for my soulmate all the time, often touching out to people for love...
only thing it has got me so far, is a fine and a warning to keep 100 metres from certain people.
But my hope & deep set longing lives on. |
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By *adyGarden OP Woman
over a year ago
LONDON (se) |
"Reading some of these posts is making me sad
You can't close your mind to finding love because you've been hurt in the past.
My first love (many years ago) broke my heart. I spent months and months grieving for her.
But you can't deny what a great feeling it is to be in love
So why completely shut out the chance of ever experiencing that great feeling again?
I once read somewhere "pain is inevitable, suffering is optional" "
My mind isn't closed to the idea of love but my heart most certainly is. How I feel has an impact on my children so avoiding love avoids hurt and protects my children. I'm perfectly happy being a Singleton until my kids have grown up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or are more here that are so broken they no longer believe in love and the thought of love or more than a fwb sends them running for the hills"
Its the minority that feel that way I would say after all there are a huge numbers of couples who still believe in love and a lot of singles too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So many deep and interesting _iews in this thread.
I don't think its a good idea to look for love. That would make you vulnerable and expose yourself to failure. However it's worse when you let your past failures and bad experiences affect your relationship in the next experience.
Most of us has been hurt so badly in the past that we tend to generalise. So men would say all women are the same and women say all men are the same and no one deserve to be trusted. Its that bad when you're hurt. The right thing is to keep living and keep loving no matter how many failures you had there are plenty people out there who are trustworthy and deserve to be loved and not treated on the basis of our bad experiences. That on itself is opening the door for another failure and then it will be easy to put the blame on others.
Finding love might not be as difficult as keeping it and taking care of it and feeding it to grow bigger and healthier. Always think and start fresh when you find that RIGHT person. As long as we breath we can love and be loved. Its part of the beauty of life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess the most important thing is that you are happy with your own company. If that is missing, than how can somebody else fill that gap? A partner should always be a surplus to an already balanced existence. Of course a break-up hurts, but if it totally shatters your core, then there was something already lacking in the first place.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can't let you past dictate your future, you would end up bitter and twisted if you did. Everyone at some point has had their heart broken, but they do mend.
I would agree with those that have said " don't go looking for love, let it find you"
You only get one shot at this thing called life, so live it whilst you can.
For those that are saying that they are to hurt from past experiences to allow anyone else to love them, do you really want to grow old on you own? And not experience what it feels like to love and be loved?
Before you let anyone else love you, you have to learn to love yourself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my break up shattered me cos of what my hubby did to me and just to make sure i never go there again im better off on my own x"
Despite you stating that you're not meeting, someone seems to have broken through your armour |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that what most would already settle for is made to feel special - not in the often here prevalent sycophantic way in order to get laid (it's not only men who do it), but in an easy, warm, trusting way. |
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"my break up shattered me cos of what my hubby did to me and just to make sure i never go there again im better off on my own x
Despite you stating that you're not meeting, someone seems to have broken through your armour"
he is actually someone ive known for years ,that i met when i was married ,he was on another site so we keep in touch on here and meet now and again its the idiots on here im not meeting .. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Hmmm. I tend to think love is just chemicals.
I'm not afraid of love and I think I am worthy of being loved, but I don't need anyone else to make me feel whole. I'm comfortable in my own company and I'm not looking for, or hoping for, love.
If it happens to come along, great. I'll enjoy it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my break up shattered me cos of what my hubby did to me and just to make sure i never go there again im better off on my own x
Despite you stating that you're not meeting, someone seems to have broken through your armourhe is actually someone ive known for years ,that i met when i was married ,he was on another site so we keep in touch on here and meet now and again its the idiots on here im not meeting .."
So all the rest of us single guys on fab are idiots!  how nice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my break up shattered me cos of what my hubby did to me and just to make sure i never go there again im better off on my own x
Despite you stating that you're not meeting, someone seems to have broken through your armourhe is actually someone ive known for years ,that i met when i was married ,he was on another site so we keep in touch on here and meet now and again its the idiots on here im not meeting .."
What a ridiculous sweeping statement that is .
To generalise everyone on here as idiots is wrong in every way .
It is sad that you feel that way , but somewhat comforting for the idiots on fab to know you are not meeting !
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"my break up shattered me cos of what my hubby did to me and just to make sure i never go there again im better off on my own x
Despite you stating that you're not meeting, someone seems to have broken through your armourhe is actually someone ive known for years ,that i met when i was married ,he was on another site so we keep in touch on here and meet now and again its the idiots on here im not meeting .."
when I read this, I knew who the poster was before looking.
your constant negativity may be the attraction to some of those idiots you mention.
good to read you have met someone tho.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my break up shattered me cos of what my hubby did to me and just to make sure i never go there again im better off on my own x
Despite you stating that you're not meeting, someone seems to have broken through your armourhe is actually someone ive known for years ,that i met when i was married ,he was on another site so we keep in touch on here and meet now and again its the idiots on here im not meeting ..
when I read this, I knew who the poster was before looking.
your constant negativity may be the attraction to some of those idiots you mention.
good to read you have met someone tho.. "
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"my break up shattered me cos of what my hubby did to me and just to make sure i never go there again im better off on my own x
Despite you stating that you're not meeting, someone seems to have broken through your armourhe is actually someone ive known for years ,that i met when i was married ,he was on another site so we keep in touch on here and meet now and again its the idiots on here im not meeting .."
stop being so bloody negative about men on here or in general....You are lucky you have met someone....Not all men on here are idiots Ive met some amazing people on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Here's a thought though. Does hiding in the world of casual sex and NSA serve to re-enforce those negative feelings and in some ways magnify them?
Sometimes, trying to fill the emotional void left by a relationship with the emptiness of casual sex can be more physically, mentally and emotionally destructive. Casual sex can be anything but, and should be used for the right reasons not the wrong ones. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
Finding love on here can be complicated too though as if you love each other and still both want to meet separately in addiction to playing as a couple it can be a little mentally taxing sometimes.
I know some couples meet here and no longer play separately, but if you have both enjoyed that and still want to do play as singles too sometimes it can tug at those heartstrings a little.
It's all about knowing that you are special to someone and that it's ok for you both to enjoy phisical intimacy with others without worrying too much about it I guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a very good case of a broken, fucked up, disillusioned female. Do I believe in full on love.. then nope.. it's for fairy tales and kids... But I can love in a caring and deep way to special friends... Doesn't mean I want to spend my life with them. Or have them just play with me... But does for me add something to play... As I have found that watching someone you care for deeply play is amazing and the best feeling ever.
Due to hang ups I can't and won't go into on here kissing is a huge issue for me. Didn't even kiss when I was married.. yet this past year I've found that if I have a level of security and trust I can overcome my issues...
I now feel that maybe when my kids have left home I could perhaps consider finding a partner for myself... But currently I'm happy to just have people to share a journey with. I've learned a lot about myself by letting someone in more than I have previously and it's made me less hard... But it's easy for me to slam those walls back up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here's a thought though. Does hiding in the world of casual sex and NSA serve to re-enforce those negative feelings and in some ways magnify them?
Sometimes, trying to fill the emotional void left by a relationship with the emptiness of casual sex can be more physically, mentally and emotionally destructive. Casual sex can be anything but, and should be used for the right reasons not the wrong ones. "
I'm not hiding in this world, have spent nearly 6 yrs doing two jobs and just not had the time for dating but I miss company and grown up conversation, not forgetting sex However he would have to be very special for me to give this up as I enjoy meeting people so perhaps would be good if he was from this world too |
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"Does lightning strike twice in the same place? I certainly hope so!
I was very lucky, and had a wonderful partner, a great marriage, and we were happy for many many years, till it sadly ended two years ago.
Now I am on my own, and of course I would love to meet somebody special, fall in love, and live together happily ever after.
But I am not at all sure if it will happen for me. Will my dreams come true?
So in the meantime I am on here, having lots of fun, and trying to enjoy life and making the most of each day!
And meeting some wonderful people and having fantastic experiences on the way!
LOVE? Yes please, but whilst I am waiting I am having fun!
"
Couldn't have put it better myself.
I don't quite understand how somebody can choose to fall in love or not. Like any other emotion, it simply happens. The key is if you choose to act upon it or not.
I've been single for 26 years. If I die never having had another relationship, I'm ok with that but if I fall in love once, twice, a thousand times, I'm ok with that too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't really relationships to be honest. Nor do i do love. If that happens it happens - but, that's another can of worms for me.
I think to myself that i can be a good friend, and am always there for someone. Even if i just met them once. I'd still care about them - doesn't matter to me who they are. I'd look out for them.
Can't do love nor relationships. Well, not anymore - people can do better than me so i don't go out on dates or anything like that.
If any of that makes sense.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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..i think at the end of the day it falls down to how you define love and what love means to you.
Love could mean different things to different people in different contexts.
Me and my fb we are like soul mates. Click on every level. But, if we were to have a relationship, it wouldn't work as i won't be able to give her that something extra that she'd want. So, she goes on dates looking for that love and if she finds it, i'd let her be.
...that itself could also be love. So, there's no easy answer to that. I think previous experiences do dictate the future.
But, the good thing is we're not trees. If we don't like our current situation, we can chage it.
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By *imwildWoman
over a year ago
around |
"
Yes, I tried looking on the dating sites at first, but there's so much deception and psychosis on there I came to feel it's the last place to actually find someone, haha!!
So, I came here as a bit of a refugee expecting nothing, and I have come to the conclusion that quite a lot of rather lovely single people have also ended up being refugees here!
I've had a couple of nibbles on the bum already, so you never know!!
"
and nothin wrong with having a bit of fun in the mean time |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Or are more here that are so broken they no longer believe in love and the thought of love or more than a fwb sends them running for the hills"
I know the thread has moved around and away from this as it has developed over the last day but I think the answer is yes. Not everyone, of course, but many.
Maybe broken isn't quite the right word but guarded or defensive might be nearer the mark.
Love isn't scary and very few live without any love in their lives. They may love a pet, a child, a parent, a friend. The thing that is scary is the conditional love that is involved in an intimate and sexual relationship.
Joy is found in opening yourself up to experiences, taking the risks and learning from the process. Where is the joy in living in aspic and watching the world and life go by?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh you wise woman Yes, broken is perhaps a tad strong - for most of us.
I did learn from my last break up, and realise that jumping in unconditionally into the next one leaves me vulnerable. I won't do that again. Yes, I am open to new input, and enjoy the expectations that brings. But I am more alert and aware. And, again - am happy with my own company. That is a great base to fall back on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or are more here that are so broken they no longer believe in love and the thought of love or more than a fwb sends them running for the hills
I know the thread has moved around and away from this as it has developed over the last day but I think the answer is yes. Not everyone, of course, but many.
Maybe broken isn't quite the right word but guarded or defensive might be nearer the mark.
Love isn't scary and very few live without any love in their lives. They may love a pet, a child, a parent, a friend. The thing that is scary is the conditional love that is involved in an intimate and sexual relationship.
Joy is found in opening yourself up to experiences, taking the risks and learning from the process. Where is the joy in living in aspic and watching the world and life go by?
"
Spot on about guarded, taking risks and learning .
I have had my heart broken and wish it hadn't, but I have grown from the experience. I am so much more aware of myself both physically and mentally and the interaction of others. I understand a little about the work of neurotransmitters and hormones in the brain, even to the extent of short term highs of love and the lesser explosive longer lasting hormone of love. I understand how being in love can make you act irrationally: crazy in love is not a myth  .
I would love to be in love , but it is not going to happen without the "right" person. I am a go with the flow type of person (now) and definitely not looking for second best. I'd certainly prefer to be alone as I'm happy(ish hehe) in my own skin. There's no looking for someone to make me happy. I'm the propagator of that .
"LOVE? Yes please, but whilst I am waiting I am having fun", I can second that  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or are more here that are so broken they no longer believe in love and the thought of love or more than a fwb sends them running for the hills
I know the thread has moved around and away from this as it has developed over the last day but I think the answer is yes. Not everyone, of course, but many.
Maybe broken isn't quite the right word but guarded or defensive might be nearer the mark.
Love isn't scary and very few live without any love in their lives. They may love a pet, a child, a parent, a friend. The thing that is scary is the conditional love that is involved in an intimate and sexual relationship.
Joy is found in opening yourself up to experiences, taking the risks and learning from the process. Where is the joy in living in aspic and watching the world and life go by?
Spot on about guarded, taking risks and learning .
I have had my heart broken and wish it hadn't, but I have grown from the experience. I am so much more aware of myself both physically and mentally and the interaction of others. I understand a little about the work of neurotransmitters and hormones in the brain, even to the extent of short term highs of love and the lesser explosive longer lasting hormone of love. I understand how being in love can make you act irrationally: crazy in love is not a myth .
I would love to be in love , but it is not going to happen without the "right" person. I am a go with the flow type of person (now) and definitely not looking for second best. I'd certainly prefer to be alone as I'm happy(ish hehe) in my own skin. There's no looking for someone to make me happy. I'm the propagator of that .
"LOVE? Yes please, but whilst I am waiting I am having fun", I can second that ."
Agree, learn from the pain but don't shut out the chance of future happiness.
To say "I will never love again cos I've been hurt" is the equivalent of saying "I will never cross the road again cos I got hit by a car". You just learn to look both ways in the future. |
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