FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is a man feeling emotinal and crying sign of weakness
Is a man feeling emotinal and crying sign of weakness
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hope not because I can be a rather sensitive soul.
I usually bottle it up though because if I started crying these days I might not stop, too much has happened in the last few years and don't have the luxury of falling to pieces. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No way.
Crying is a release valve and i know that when ive let go and had a good blub, i feel better for it.
And thats regardless of being male or female.
Gone are the days when you were less of a man for having emotions and feelings....
thank god.  |
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naw i think its normal. but if you want to laugh about il later wait til you are at your most emotional and tears and snot are running down your face and take a selfy .works for me but im weird...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a big crying fit the other night. I felt better for it. Real men cry in my opinion, they should do it more often. And yes it does help, sending you a hug |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks very much for comforting words
Talking to family back home after couple or years I could not hold back the tears
Scared them for a bit as they never saw me crying and thought some thing horribly gone wrong but feeling better now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Really? So all of the females above would be quite ok with your man crying at so-called weepy movies and the usual things women cry at the drop of the hat at?"
Wouldnt worry me at all, shows they are human after all and somethng made of granite  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks very much for comforting words
Talking to family back home after couple or years I could not hold back the tears
Scared them for a bit as they never saw me crying and thought some thing horribly gone wrong but feeling better now "
Awwwwww thats lovely Lp....
Hope everything turns out ok  |
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"Thanks very much for comforting words
Talking to family back home after couple or years I could not hold back the tears
Scared them for a bit as they never saw me crying and thought some thing horribly gone wrong but feeling better now "
Not knocking you btw, OP, extreme emotionally stuff and all that. I'm querying the usual stuff women cry at that make a lot of men go |
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"Thanks very much for comforting words
Talking to family back home after couple or years I could not hold back the tears
Scared them for a bit as they never saw me crying and thought some thing horribly gone wrong but feeling better now
Awwwwww thats lovely Lp....
Hope everything turns out ok "
Right, so your man sits there blubbing when some soap character dies and you're thinking "Aww, how sweet". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks very much for comforting words
Talking to family back home after couple or years I could not hold back the tears
Scared them for a bit as they never saw me crying and thought some thing horribly gone wrong but feeling better now
Not knocking you btw, OP, extreme emotionally stuff and all that. I'm querying the usual stuff women cry at that make a lot of men go "
It takes a lot to make me cry, im normally quite a tuffy....so when i do it has to be an extremely emotional reasoning behind it....
Like many guys.
Dont think i would like a "tit" who cried at anything ,but a guy who sometimes has to let go is ok with me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks very much for comforting words
Talking to family back home after couple or years I could not hold back the tears
Scared them for a bit as they never saw me crying and thought some thing horribly gone wrong but feeling better now "
Glad you're feeling better xx |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Really? So all of the females above would be quite ok with your man crying at so-called weepy movies and the usual things women cry at the drop of the hat at?"
I have sat with men crying at films, at the sport, through difficult conversations, when exposing their demons and just because they were happy. I love them all and don't think less of them.
OP, I think it's a strength to be honest about your emotions. I'm still trying to get honest about mine and know how damaging to keep tears bottled up.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks very much for comforting words
Talking to family back home after couple or years I could not hold back the tears
Scared them for a bit as they never saw me crying and thought some thing horribly gone wrong but feeling better now
Not knocking you btw, OP, extreme emotionally stuff and all that. I'm querying the usual stuff women cry at that make a lot of men go
It takes a lot to make me cry, im normally quite a tuffy....so when i do it has to be an extremely emotional reasoning behind it....
Like many guys.
Dont think i would like a "tit" who cried at anything ,but a guy who sometimes has to let go is ok with me. "
Especially the 'tit' bit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks very much for comforting words
Talking to family back home after couple or years I could not hold back the tears
Scared them for a bit as they never saw me crying and thought some thing horribly gone wrong but feeling better now
Awwwwww thats lovely Lp....
Hope everything turns out ok
Right, so your man sits there blubbing when some soap character dies and you're thinking "Aww, how sweet"."
I cry if something moves me emotionally. A poignant moment in a film, a song beautifully sung, a dance danced with passion and depth of feeling. I don't see it as a weakness, i t is simply a sign of emotional expressiveness. It is both healthy and appropriate.
However sobbing is a sign of cathartic emotional release and is also very healthy. It is a way of releasing repressed emotions that have built up over time. This is often triggered by an emotional trauma or a deep realisation is breaking through.
That said if this becomes part of a depressed emotional state then that is not healthy and help should be sought. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Really? So all of the females above would be quite ok with your man crying at so-called weepy movies and the usual things women cry at the drop of the hat at?
I have sat with men crying at films, at the sport, through difficult conversations, when exposing their demons and just because they were happy. I love them all and don't think less of them.
OP, I think it's a strength to be honest about your emotions. I'm still trying to get honest about mine and know how damaging to keep tears bottled up.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suffer with PTSD, its 99% under control but it raises its head when I'm extremely stressed. I get anxious and a little paranoid and have moments when I could bawl my eyes out for no good reason and I can lock myself away and not communicate with anyone for days. My saving grace are my kids, I only need to see them and I feel a million times better and know everything I've been through was in some small way to make their lives better and safer.
While I'm on the subject I should really thank Ruby, she's been my rock this weekend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've a feeling you ladies are in a vocal minority"
That may well be the case. That doesn't mean they are wrong. More likely that would be due to us living in an emotionally (and sexually) repressed society. |
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"I've a feeling you ladies are in a vocal minority
That may well be the case. That doesn't mean they are wrong. More likely that would be due to us living in an emotionally (and sexually) repressed society."
Yep, men crying at the drop of a hat and promiscuity is the way forward to a more enriched society |
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"I've cried buckets over the last few years . No shame "
There is no shame if it's due to death of loved ones, extreme emotional situations like the OP's, that kind of thing. But just from watching something on tv or at the cinema? Naaah *shaking head emoticon* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me and ex went to see Dido & Aeneas, many moons ago. At the point of Dido's Lament, I noticed that there wasn't a dry eye in the house, including ex's. It moved me that men could be moved to such extent, too.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whoever said that 'a man ain't supposed to cry' needs a serious reality check.
We're all human, and we all need a sense of release. No shame in having a cry if something hurts you, whatever sex you are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and ex went to see Dido & Aeneas, many moons ago. At the point of Dido's Lament, I noticed that there wasn't a dry eye in the house, including ex's. It moved me that men could be moved to such extent, too.
"
Music often has a very powerful effect on me, it always has. First time I heard 'I Had A Dream' by Gary Moore the guitar solo reduced me to a gibbering wreck, there's many pieces of music that does similar and others I can no longer listen to because they remind me of someone who's no longer with us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and ex went to see Dido & Aeneas, many moons ago. At the point of Dido's Lament, I noticed that there wasn't a dry eye in the house, including ex's. It moved me that men could be moved to such extent, too.
Music often has a very powerful effect on me, it always has. First time I heard 'I Had A Dream' by Gary Moore the guitar solo reduced me to a gibbering wreck, there's many pieces of music that does similar and others I can no longer listen to because they remind me of someone who's no longer with us."
Music touches the soul at its best. Good music has the same effect on me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've a feeling you ladies are in a vocal minority
That may well be the case. That doesn't mean they are wrong. More likely that would be due to us living in an emotionally (and sexually) repressed society.
Yep, men crying at the drop of a hat and promiscuity is the way forward to a more enriched society "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it's something guinuinely emotional then sure it's not a bad thing, but most men don't cry unless it's something serious. It's just the way we are. To say it's unhealthy to bottle it up is rubbish, us men must be a very unhealthy lot if that's the case. |
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I have never understood the stiff upper lip thing, women cry as an emotional release and it must be awful to a guy who is going through some emotional trauma to have to choke it all back and not let it out.
You are human beings too and there is no shame in showing your emotions. |
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its a natural emotion, i hear 2 particular songs and i get emotional. Not necessarily to the point of tears but do take a min to remember the link to a lost comrade and my mother.
Have known 2 blokes one in the forces and another in blue light emergency services who were both suffering pretty badly for different reasons, neither could open up and both cases ended tragically for their respective families..
would much rather they could have cried their eyes out rather than be at their graveside..
emotions are a bit like mental health issue's, totally natural and attention is needed whenever required..
just like a broken leg.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a child, i once heard my grandfather tell my brother,who was upset...That boys do not cry...girls yes but no way do boys or men.
We grow up expecting the man to be all macho and tough and not to show their feelings, well not the weak ones.
So it really goes back to parenting and how we teach the boys , and say it really is ok to cry and show emotion. |
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heard something similar between a boyhood friend and his dad, went home and asked mum why did he say that and we had a bit of a chat about it..
telling young lads who are about to go through the emotional rollercoaster of puberty etc that certain emotions are to be hidden is potentially asking for trouble.. |
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Yeah yeah yeah, I'm not disagreeing with most of the above. Bottled emotions are a negative thing.
BUT, are you women seriously telling me you'd be happy if your fella was the sort to burst into tears when someone announced an engagement, a pregnancy or at the cute puppy on the latest Andrex ad? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah yeah yeah, I'm not disagreeing with most of the above. Bottled emotions are a negative thing.
BUT, are you women seriously telling me you'd be happy if your fella was the sort to burst into tears when someone announced an engagement, a pregnancy or at the cute puppy on the latest Andrex ad? "
Lol I don't for a moment think that is what is being said.what is being affirmed is men expressing emotion appropriately and not feeling shame. The negative introjections, that Peaches mentions, create a false belief set that can cause men to repress their emotions. That repression can lead to distorted behaviour or worse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah yeah yeah, I'm not disagreeing with most of the above. Bottled emotions are a negative thing.
BUT, are you women seriously telling me you'd be happy if your fella was the sort to burst into tears when someone announced an engagement, a pregnancy or at the cute puppy on the latest Andrex ad?
Lol I don't for a moment think that is what is being said.what is being affirmed is men expressing emotion appropriately and not feeling shame. The negative introjections, that Peaches mentions, create a false belief set that can cause men to repress their emotions. That repression can lead to distorted behaviour or worse."
well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah yeah yeah, I'm not disagreeing with most of the above. Bottled emotions are a negative thing.
BUT, are you women seriously telling me you'd be happy if your fella was the sort to burst into tears when someone announced an engagement, a pregnancy or at the cute puppy on the latest Andrex ad?
Lol I don't for a moment think that is what is being said.what is being affirmed is men expressing emotion appropriately and not feeling shame. The negative introjections, that Peaches mentions, create a false belief set that can cause men to repress their emotions. That repression can lead to distorted behaviour or worse."
Some men can get so angry when upset as if its ok to punch someone, something or just lash out because they dont know how to release that pent up emotion, they are upset and dont know how to handle it, cry and your a pussy etc etc.
Im not saying that women in general want some blubbering fool crying at bambi or because sideshow bobs gonna kill bart....We as parents just need to say "hey son, its ok to cry sometimes" ...and yes...your still a man for doing so. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you very much for all the kindness and support it means a lot that exactly the way I thought a swinging community will be
One for all and all for one
If I am quoting it right |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No personal attacks as feeling already very low  "
No it's not. We're only human. Sometimes I cry when I'm very angry.
Just hope that whatever your issue, you'll be ok.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you very much for all the kindness and support it means a lot that exactly the way I thought a swinging community will be
One for all and all for one
If I am quoting it right "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seeing a man crying is very moving to me...because I am aware that society often casts judgement on men who cry and I assume it is why you raised the question in your post. So for a man to allow himself to show his vulnerability to me like that is far from weak....but actually a very beautiful and humbling thing which draws me closer to him. Crying is a normal expression of a human emotion that we all share so to show that to someone, makes you real...makes you human...shows you feel deeply. X |
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"If it's something guinuinely emotional then sure it's not a bad thing, but most men don't cry unless it's something serious. It's just the way we are. To say it's unhealthy to bottle it up is rubbish, us men must be a very unhealthy lot if that's the case."
It has become a learned behaviour for many men to suppress their emotions. Children learn from birth what others around them deem appropriate. Adults read forum posts and get feedback on what is permitted or frowned upon and it is social influence at work. It is healthy for people to learn and find their own way, and as animals we have naturally occurring emotions. It is a sign of wisdom for a man or woman to know their emotional selves well and to express as they need. Repression causes many of the ills today and is not healthy.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Men who cry actually show strength not weakness. It's not easy to display such emotion traits. My ex lost his father several years ago and he was one of the most hardened guys I have ever met, part of some gang outlaw club for bikers, but just of late, watching a movie can make him cry.... although saying that, I don't think he could display such emotions in front of just anyone.
Crying is a release, so if you want to let go of what pains you. Crying, is a very good way of doing so. Just have some pain killers handy as it can also give you headache.
Hope you feeling better soon, big hugs x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for lovely msgs just thought for couple of days now going for pure life stopped smoking first than drinking and than travel the world lol good luck every one just saying good bye  |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Thanks for lovely msgs just thought for couple of days now going for pure life stopped smoking first than drinking and than travel the world lol good luck every one just saying good bye "
all the best to you and good luck |
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