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Friendship being tested?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What's the difference between having a laugh and playing the odd practical joke. Compared with bullying/stepping over the line? Where and when is that line crossed? |
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"What's the difference between having a laugh and playing the odd practical joke. Compared with bullying/stepping over the line? Where and when is that line crossed? "
When one party doesn't enjoy it anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When the other person is unhappy."
Too late them as the act or verbal comment has already been done. So something has to be said/done first in order to see the other persons react. In order to tell the difference? People can't work out when too much is too much? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When the other person is unhappy.
Too late them as the act or verbal comment has already been done. So something has to be said/done first in order to see the other persons react. In order to tell the difference? People can't work out when too much is too much? "
If they are friends they should know what the other person's limits are. Some of my mates I can have a right laugh and joke with. Others I have to be careful as they are more easily offended. I respect their limits. |
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"When the other person is unhappy.
Too late them as the act or verbal comment has already been done. So something has to be said/done first in order to see the other persons react. In order to tell the difference? People can't work out when too much is too much?
If they are friends they should know what the other person's limits are. Some of my mates I can have a right laugh and joke with. Others I have to be careful as they are more easily offended. I respect their limits."
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"When the other person is unhappy.
Too late them as the act or verbal comment has already been done. So something has to be said/done first in order to see the other persons react. In order to tell the difference? People can't work out when too much is too much? "
Is this another real life event that has recently happened?
It's easier when you explain, simply, what has happened and who is upset this time. Then you can get better responses to your questions.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What's the difference between having a laugh and playing the odd practical joke. Compared with bullying/stepping over the line? Where and when is that line crossed?
When one party doesn't enjoy it anymore."
I was thinking about this the other day and someone's post on here got me thinking. That's the sort of thing a bully would do. Plus common sense. Everyone may consider it a laugh, but the victim wouldn't at the time atleast  . |
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I would say it's bullying if the offended party has made it known that they dint like something and the other person keeps doing it.
If they dint know you are offended you haven't given them the opportunity to modify their behavior.
Having said that close friends can usually tell without you having yo tell them. My best mate and I bandy about fat jokes all the time but he knows when he has gone too far and apologises. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's the difference between having a laugh and playing the odd practical joke. Compared with bullying/stepping over the line? Where and when is that line crossed?
When one party doesn't enjoy it anymore.
I was thinking about this the other day and someone's post on here got me thinking. That's the sort of thing a bully would do. Plus common sense. Everyone may consider it a laugh, but the victim wouldn't at the time atleast ."
Some people are very clever at being bullies. They chip away at your self esteem, making little comments that seem innocent to people on the outside. Yet to that one person it's emotional abuse. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would say it's bullying if the offended party has made it known that they dint like something and the other person keeps doing it.
If they dint know you are offended you haven't given them the opportunity to modify their behavior.
Having said that close friends can usually tell without you having yo tell them. My best mate and I bandy about fat jokes all the time but he knows when he has gone too far and apologises. "
If I make a reference to someone being fat. We can laugh and move on and if I over step the mark. I can apologise and we can move on. No harm is done at all.
If a joke is played to where you know the "victim" will suffer embarrassment for a while. Them you know the outcome before you done it and you know no one will like it. So why do that practical joke in the first place . That makes sense to you? |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I would say it's bullying if the offended party has made it known that they dint like something and the other person keeps doing it.
If they dint know you are offended you haven't given them the opportunity to modify their behavior.
Having said that close friends can usually tell without you having yo tell them. My best mate and I bandy about fat jokes all the time but he knows when he has gone too far and apologises. "
Anyone but my parents and one aunt can call me fat and I'm fine as I know it's just banter. If my parents and this one aunt do it I know they are having a dig. Historical context is important too.
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"I would say it's bullying if the offended party has made it known that they dint like something and the other person keeps doing it.
If they dint know you are offended you haven't given them the opportunity to modify their behavior.
Having said that close friends can usually tell without you having yo tell them. My best mate and I bandy about fat jokes all the time but he knows when he has gone too far and apologises.
If I make a reference to someone being fat. We can laugh and move on and if I over step the mark. I can apologise and we can move on. No harm is done at all.
If a joke is played to where you know the "victim" will suffer embarrassment for a while. Them you know the outcome before you done it and you know no one will like it. So why do that practical joke in the first place . That makes sense to you?"
Not really. If you know the embarrassment is only short lived then hopefully you would know wether or not the 'victim' would see the funny side afterwards or not.
I dont think one instance amounts to bullying. To me bullying is a sustained number of events designed go hurt or humiliate someone. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would say it's bullying if the offended party has made it known that they dint like something and the other person keeps doing it.
If they dint know you are offended you haven't given them the opportunity to modify their behavior.
Having said that close friends can usually tell without you having yo tell them. My best mate and I bandy about fat jokes all the time but he knows when he has gone too far and apologises.
If I make a reference to someone being fat. We can laugh and move on and if I over step the mark. I can apologise and we can move on. No harm is done at all.
If a joke is played to where you know the "victim" will suffer embarrassment for a while. Them you know the outcome before you done it and you know no one will like it. So why do that practical joke in the first place . That makes sense to you?
Not really. If you know the embarrassment is only short lived then hopefully you would know wether or not the 'victim' would see the funny side afterwards or not.
I dont think one instance amounts to bullying. To me bullying is a sustained number of events designed go hurt or humiliate someone. "
Example. You know spiking someone's drink will have a certain affect on someone and you know they won't find it funny as if someone did it to you, you won't. Is that bullying? (I don't mean spiking as in drugs, etc maybe mixing drinks or putting Viagra in their or something that will cause the person to have a ruined evening.) |
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"I would say it's bullying if the offended party has made it known that they dint like something and the other person keeps doing it.
If they dint know you are offended you haven't given them the opportunity to modify their behavior.
Having said that close friends can usually tell without you having yo tell them. My best mate and I bandy about fat jokes all the time but he knows when he has gone too far and apologises.
If I make a reference to someone being fat. We can laugh and move on and if I over step the mark. I can apologise and we can move on. No harm is done at all.
If a joke is played to where you know the "victim" will suffer embarrassment for a while. Them you know the outcome before you done it and you know no one will like it. So why do that practical joke in the first place . That makes sense to you?
Not really. If you know the embarrassment is only short lived then hopefully you would know wether or not the 'victim' would see the funny side afterwards or not.
I dont think one instance amounts to bullying. To me bullying is a sustained number of events designed go hurt or humiliate someone.
Example. You know spiking someone's drink will have a certain affect on someone and you know they won't find it funny as if someone did it to you, you won't. Is that bullying? (I don't mean spiking as in drugs, etc maybe mixing drinks or putting Viagra in their or something that will cause the person to have a ruined evening.)"
Yes. If it is something designed to specifically humiliate another person and ridicule them then I would say that's bullying.
I realise that goes against my statement above but its late, I'm tired, I'm a woman and it's my prerogative to change my mind  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bullying is about power and taking that power at the expense of someone else...if the balance of power in a friendship tilts in favour of one at the expense of the other banter has become bullying... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would say it's bullying if the offended party has made it known that they dint like something and the other person keeps doing it.
If they dint know you are offended you haven't given them the opportunity to modify their behavior.
Having said that close friends can usually tell without you having yo tell them. My best mate and I bandy about fat jokes all the time but he knows when he has gone too far and apologises.
If I make a reference to someone being fat. We can laugh and move on and if I over step the mark. I can apologise and we can move on. No harm is done at all.
If a joke is played to where you know the "victim" will suffer embarrassment for a while. Them you know the outcome before you done it and you know no one will like it. So why do that practical joke in the first place . That makes sense to you?
Not really. If you know the embarrassment is only short lived then hopefully you would know wether or not the 'victim' would see the funny side afterwards or not.
I dont think one instance amounts to bullying. To me bullying is a sustained number of events designed go hurt or humiliate someone.
Example. You know spiking someone's drink will have a certain affect on someone and you know they won't find it funny as if someone did it to you, you won't. Is that bullying? (I don't mean spiking as in drugs, etc maybe mixing drinks or putting Viagra in their or something that will cause the person to have a ruined evening.)
Yes. If it is something designed to specifically humiliate another person and ridicule them then I would say that's bullying.
I realise that goes against my statement above but its late, I'm tired, I'm a woman and it's my prerogative to change my mind "
Lol. In all seriousness though. You have agreed with me by saying spiking drinks is a form of bullying? |
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