FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > telling a family member..
telling a family member..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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After a lovely member on here decided to tell my family about myself and baldr's private life on here, today I'm coming clean (no pun intended).
I can't deny any detail, as what was said has painted the wrong picture of my partner and i'm doing this to clear up the mess that this member has created.
The joys of explaining things to closed minded people lol!
Any tips?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just be open to any questions they have. Make it clear that it's your life your choice.
And remove the person that fold them from your life. It wasn't their place to tell anyone. "
Thanks hun x
Yeah, she had no right to say what she said. At least my family know that this person is on here as well lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just be open to any questions they have. Make it clear that it's your life your choice.
And remove the person that fold them from your life. It wasn't their place to tell anyone.
Thanks hun x
Yeah, she had no right to say what she said. At least my family know that this person is on here as well lol"
Good luck with it. Can't people respect the privacy of others, feckin twats.
As above as far as advice: as Richard Nixon once said, 'never apologise, never explain.' X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why did the member feel It's his information to be spending?
More importantly why did he,what did he get out of it?
If this certain member is reading this post :- you reap what you sow. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Good luck with it. Can't people respect the privacy of others, feckin twats.
As above as far as advice: as Richard Nixon once said, 'never apologise, never explain.' X"
I won't be explaining anything or even apologising as I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of but what was said has painted a very horrid picture in my families eyes. So to put their mind at ease I'm being truthful...always a good time to start  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why did the member feel It's his information to be spending?
More importantly why did he,what did he get out of it?
If this certain member is reading this post :- you reap what you sow."
Thats a good question I'd like to know as well but it'll be getting buried soon enough and left alone once I tell our side of the lifestyle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Good luck with it. Can't people respect the privacy of others, feckin twats.
As above as far as advice: as Richard Nixon once said, 'never apologise, never explain.' X
I won't be explaining anything or even apologising as I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of but what was said has painted a very horrid picture in my families eyes. So to put their mind at ease I'm being truthful...always a good time to start "
You sound pretty together, you'll be fine. X |
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Not commenting directly on this situation since I don't know both sides but what on earth goes through anyones head to out people to friends and family? Is its some sort of revenge have they no care for the "innocent" people on the situation who might be upset. I use the word innocent tongue on cheek. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not commenting directly on this situation since I don't know both sides but what on earth goes through anyones head to out people to friends and family? Is its some sort of revenge have they no care for the "innocent" people on the situation who might be upset. I use the word innocent tongue on cheek."
My family member kept what was said to herself for a week and has affected her more than some would believe! Loss of sleep with worry and worried about saying it to me in case our relationship would be strained.
Myself and baldr have nothing to be sorry for because this member should have done the decent thing and kept our private life just that, private.
I know after this I'll be looked at differently from my family but its a sacrifice for things that make me happy |
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"
My family member kept what was said to herself for a week and has affected her more than some would believe! Loss of sleep with worry and worried about saying it to me in case our relationship would be strained.
Myself and baldr have nothing to be sorry for because this member should have done the decent thing and kept our private life just that, private.
I know after this I'll be looked at differently from my family but its a sacrifice for things that make me happy "
Yes that's the kind of thing I meant, someone who presumably didn't need to know has gone through a week of upset when they didn't need too. What motivates people to cause that?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
My family member kept what was said to herself for a week and has affected her more than some would believe! Loss of sleep with worry and worried about saying it to me in case our relationship would be strained.
Myself and baldr have nothing to be sorry for because this member should have done the decent thing and kept our private life just that, private.
I know after this I'll be looked at differently from my family but its a sacrifice for things that make me happy
Yes that's the kind of thing I meant, someone who presumably didn't need to know has gone through a week of upset when they didn't need too. What motivates people to cause that? "
Good question, I'd love to know as well but no doubt I'll never find out why |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At the root of this issue is the excessive and unjustified importance placed on sex by society. Many on Fab have realised that sex is simply another very pleasant bodily function and can enjoy it on a casual basis without causing any harm.
If your ex-friend had told them you had gone for a haircut elsewhere, to another dentist, had a massage by another person, or (perish the thought) used the toilet in someone else's house!!! Those being told would say "What are you on about??" 
Because it is sex; society has programmed them to believe it is massively important. I wish you luck but warn you, society's imprinting on those with closed minds often means they just cannot get past believing sex is the ultimate measure of love and fidelity, personal morality. Good luck!! |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"After a lovely member on here decided to tell my family about myself and baldr's private life on here, today I'm coming clean (no pun intended).
I can't deny any detail, as what was said has painted the wrong picture of my partner and i'm doing this to clear up the mess that this member has created.
The joys of explaining things to closed minded people lol!
Any tips? "
the more you react, the more they win.
your partner knows the scene in Scotland well, he is well known and liked by many.
he will also know that with popularity, also comes jealousy & pettyness from a minority.
it is not nice what has happened and I hope it goes well with your family.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well we hope your families love for you overrides any preconceived ideas that you are doing something wrong, illegal or immoral.
if those you are telling a devout, however, i dont hold out much hope of any understanding (religious types seem to have less openminds than many) but, as said, if you get on with your family, should imagine they will give you a fairly easy ride ( and expect a few enquiries about the lifestyle as time goes on lol) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks everyone, things went well. I don't expect them to understand what I said today but they did except it as our choice.
At least I'll sleep tonight knowing its out the way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks everyone, things went well. I don't expect them to understand what I said today but they did except it as our choice.
At least I'll sleep tonight knowing its out the way "
Glad it all went ok for you!  x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"im sorry that someone has blabbed the way they did - not necessary at all - hope you all come out of it ok xxx"
I haven't been taken away with the men in the white coats yet but no doubt I'll still get the weird looks from time to time. Glad I'm used to being branded the odd biscuit in the family lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks everyone, things went well. I don't expect them to understand what I said today but they did except it as our choice.
At least I'll sleep tonight knowing its out the way "
We are very glad it went well even if they were not able to accept your choice. |
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By *ngelbiTVTV/TS
over a year ago
Dyserth, North Wales |
A member on dogging.co.uk told one of my partner's family about our life on dogging and consequently on fabs too.
In the end, we came out completely to my partner's family. About me being a TV, about our swinging and they were//have been very supportive and a little sarcastic lol
Looking back, it's been great for us to have this openness but I still think the person who told on us have alot to answer.
Good luck...it can be a tough time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"7 weeks in on fab "
7 weeks with this profile but we're not new to fab lol
I could have denied what was said but it was the content of what was said that I had to clear up.
They know now so its their choice to make up their own minds |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At the root of this issue is the excessive and unjustified importance placed on sex by society. Many on Fab have realised that sex is simply another very pleasant bodily function and can enjoy it on a casual basis without causing any harm.
If your ex-friend had told them you had gone for a haircut elsewhere, to another dentist, had a massage by another person, or (perish the thought) used the toilet in someone else's house!!! Those being told would say "What are you on about??"
Because it is sex; society has programmed them to believe it is massively important. I wish you luck but warn you, society's imprinting on those with closed minds often means they just cannot get past believing sex is the ultimate measure of love and fidelity, personal morality. Good luck!!"
You just said a cotton pickin mouthful x well said.
A young friend of ours - just 23 - is probably the biggest prude I've ever come across. Yet comes from a generation that is portrayed as being so forward thinking.
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Id keep it brief, and just focus on the positives, that people who care for you would appreciate. Like having more fun, exploring,socialising with open minded people etc. Ive nothing to hide, but prefer who I share intimate stuff with, so the details dont need to be shared, unless it is right for you. Obviously report the user to admin,so they can deal how they choose. Sorry youve had this crap - sometimes we brush against the wrong people in life. It is possible that youll get a closer relationship with family, and sometimes things progress in waves, so maybe just let them have a little at a time. Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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".......
As above as far as advice: as Richard Nixon once said, 'never apologise, never explain.' X
Wasn't that Leroy Jethro Gibbs?"
Stop googling.
Nixon was reiterating. A good quote is a good quote is a good quote x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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".......
As above as far as advice: as Richard Nixon once said, 'never apologise, never explain.' X
Wasn't that Leroy Jethro Gibbs?
Stop googling.
Nixon was reiterating. A good quote is a good quote is a good quote x"
who said that? lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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".......
As above as far as advice: as Richard Nixon once said, 'never apologise, never explain.' X
Wasn't that Leroy Jethro Gibbs?
Stop googling.
Nixon was reiterating. A good quote is a good quote is a good quote x
who said that? lol"
Moi.
Muhahaha.
Either that or it was Oscar Wilde. He said everything, apparently. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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".......
As above as far as advice: as Richard Nixon once said, 'never apologise, never explain.' X
Wasn't that Leroy Jethro Gibbs?
Stop googling.
Nixon was reiterating. A good quote is a good quote is a good quote x
who said that? lol
Moi.
Muhahaha.
Either that or it was Oscar Wilde. He said everything, apparently. "
momma said 'life is like a box of chocolates.by the end you are left with the hard centres and the nuts! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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".......
As above as far as advice: as Richard Nixon once said, 'never apologise, never explain.' X
Wasn't that Leroy Jethro Gibbs?
Stop googling.
Nixon was reiterating. A good quote is a good quote is a good quote x
who said that? lol
Moi.
Muhahaha.
Either that or it was Oscar Wilde. He said everything, apparently.
momma said 'life is like a box of chocolates.by the end you are left with the hard centres and the nuts!"
Almost |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gutted for you having to deal with crap like this. We all have stuff that's personal and it's no one's business.
Chin up and don;t let the Bas---ds grind you down. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's your life,and you only have the one.to lead and do as you please,maybe this other person did it for revenge,jealousy,or whatever,and questions asked no need to go into detail,may cause a few raised eyebrows.and a tut or two,but carry on and enjoy. |
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