FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Can you still do it?
Can you still do it?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
The some of the comments on the romance thread have set me thinking again. Sorry.
If the primary way you meet new people for sex/intimacy/special friendships is here do you lose the ability to meet people outside of this realm?
That's a bit clumsy, I know. I mean the loss of the conventions, the skills, the meeting without asking about their kinkiness or how the hotel bill will be shared? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I've been married a long time and I don't think I'd easily 'chat up' a lady outside the lifestyle. I don't know but it's a feeling I have. "
I know what you mean. I was celibate for so long before this that I lost the knack of even knowing when someone was interested in me. At least I can spot that now.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To be fair, I'm also on a dating website and I find it way harder there than on here... Maybe because meeting someone you will share more than sex with is scarier, I assume |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've been married a long time and I don't think I'd easily 'chat up' a lady outside the lifestyle. I don't know but it's a feeling I have. "
oh I don't know, I reckon you would have them falling at your feet with your charm  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
In all honesty, at the moment I think I would find it easier to be chatted up in person in the real world. I'm a bit slow when it comes to realising if someone is taking an interest  but I find it easier to read body language that some of the crap that people send you in messages on here just to get a meet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I am single by choice, as I value my freedom and independence, and not because I cannot pull in the real world.  "
It's not about wanting to pull in the real world - I'm not looking to do that either - but whether you lose the skills.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"In all honesty, at the moment I think I would find it easier to be chatted up in person in the real world. I'm a bit slow when it comes to realising if someone is taking an interest but I find it easier to read body language that some of the crap that people send you in messages on here just to get a meet. "
Body language should never be ignored and neither should the crap filter on here.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In all honesty, at the moment I think I would find it easier to be chatted up in person in the real world. I'm a bit slow when it comes to realising if someone is taking an interest but I find it easier to read body language that some of the crap that people send you in messages on here just to get a meet.
Body language should never be ignored and neither should the crap filter on here.
"
There's a crap filter? Is that for Platinum members only? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've been married a long time and I don't think I'd easily 'chat up' a lady outside the lifestyle. I don't know but it's a feeling I have. oh I don't know, I reckon you would have them falling at your feet with your charm "
Thank you. Thats very encouraging. I did go to a couple of parties over the Christmas holiday period and it was a little difficult not to draw the conversation towards sex...it was like 'don't mention the war'. It wasn't even a sexually charged atmosphere or anything just my mind thinking os sexualised puns when people said things. Puerile, really I suppose. Anyway, if I ever became single, then I'd look here first rather than anywhere else. Social abilities notwithstanding, of course!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I never seemed to have the skills to begin with so doubt I'll have found them now! I can never tell when anyone is really chatting me up or if they're just being sociable, and I don't remember ever attempting to chat someone else up! I can flirt, but that isn't really the same thing |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have virtually stopped using the site outside of the forum because the quality of interaction is so marked. I have found my confidence increasing dramatically in recent times because I am now chatting to and starting to meet people I really like. I am also rediscovering who I really am. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adyA01Woman
over a year ago
Wellington |
I am single and unfortunately last year got hurt very badly! I don't meet anymore kind of lost my mojo just come here for the forums! I have had interest shown from a couple of guys recently from the real world, neither were my type but even so, I can't help but wonder if all they want is sex! I believe that is because my view has been coloured somewhat from fab! I do also wonder how it would be on a normal date lol, although I think I am too scared to try right now! I would love to have a normal relationship but think my guard is up too high right now to let anyone in! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I never seemed to have the skills to begin with so doubt I'll have found them now! I can never tell when anyone is really chatting me up or if they're just being sociable, and I don't remember ever attempting to chat someone else up! I can flirt, but that isn't really the same thing"
Of course it is.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I never seemed to have the skills to begin with so doubt I'll have found them now! I can never tell when anyone is really chatting me up or if they're just being sociable, and I don't remember ever attempting to chat someone else up! I can flirt, but that isn't really the same thing
Of course it is.
"
Not when you flirt with almost everyone you know! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I am single and unfortunately last year got hurt very badly! I don't meet anymore kind of lost my mojo just come here for the forums! I have had interest shown from a couple of guys recently from the real world, neither were my type but even so, I can't help but wonder if all they want is sex! I believe that is because my view has been coloured somewhat from fab! I do also wonder how it would be on a normal date lol, although I think I am too scared to try right now! I would love to have a normal relationship but think my guard is up too high right now to let anyone in!"
Well, I would hope that someone looking for a "normal relationship" with you would find you attractive and want sex with you. Try not to dismiss people because they fancy you. Only you can lower your defences so I hope your confidence in yourself and trust in others hasn't been locked away forever.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I never seemed to have the skills to begin with so doubt I'll have found them now! I can never tell when anyone is really chatting me up or if they're just being sociable, and I don't remember ever attempting to chat someone else up! I can flirt, but that isn't really the same thing
Of course it is.
Not when you flirt with almost everyone you know! "
Try selective flirting and see what happens. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I never seemed to have the skills to begin with so doubt I'll have found them now! I can never tell when anyone is really chatting me up or if they're just being sociable, and I don't remember ever attempting to chat someone else up! I can flirt, but that isn't really the same thing"
Same here ... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adyA01Woman
over a year ago
Wellington |
"I am single and unfortunately last year got hurt very badly! I don't meet anymore kind of lost my mojo just come here for the forums! I have had interest shown from a couple of guys recently from the real world, neither were my type but even so, I can't help but wonder if all they want is sex! I believe that is because my view has been coloured somewhat from fab! I do also wonder how it would be on a normal date lol, although I think I am too scared to try right now! I would love to have a normal relationship but think my guard is up too high right now to let anyone in!
Well, I would hope that someone looking for a "normal relationship" with you would find you attractive and want sex with you. Try not to dismiss people because they fancy you. Only you can lower your defences so I hope your confidence in yourself and trust in others hasn't been locked away forever.
"
Thankyou Lickety I really needed someone to say that! I had almost forgotten it is normal to want to have sex in a normal relationship lol!! I know its just my defences in play right now! I do want to lower them, they just don't want to come down yet! I guess time will tell!! X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am single by choice, as I value my freedom and independence, and not because I cannot pull in the real world.
It's not about wanting to pull in the real world - I'm not looking to do that either - but whether you lose the skills.
"
.
"... not because I cannot..." meaning I still can and know how.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *wiftieeMan
over a year ago
near Glasgow |
I've no intention of entering the vanilla dating world anytime soon, but is there still a convention whereby you date/meet someone, and it's say the 12th or whatever date before intimacy occurs?
Interesting!   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I've no intention of entering the vanilla dating world anytime soon, but is there still a convention whereby you date/meet someone, and it's say the 12th or whatever date before intimacy occurs?
Interesting! "
I don't know but that sometimes happens on here too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No problems maintaining a grip on reality. On conventional dating or meeting in a social situ I reckon my average used to be third meet for nooky. But the times they.are a changing..... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"No problems maintaining a grip on reality. On conventional dating or meeting in a social situ I reckon my average used to be third meet for nooky. But the times they.are a changing....."
Is your averaging getting longer or shorter?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ingjayMan
over a year ago
exeter |
"The some of the comments on the romance thread have set me thinking again. Sorry.
If the primary way you meet new people for sex/intimacy/special friendships is here do you lose the ability to meet people outside of this realm?
That's a bit clumsy, I know. I mean the loss of the conventions, the skills, the meeting without asking about their kinkiness or how the hotel bill will be shared?"
I b be the opposite way, I s by even try to meet people from here, I have enough friends in the real world for that, but I stalk the forums a lot, only since me last gfmade me shut down my pof account |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
