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Long may they have builders
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By *inaTitz OP TV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
A pre Thursday rant - consider me the first act coming on to warm you up for the main event of tomorrow's rants.
I was awakened at 08.01 by my bank alerting me to an attempt to defraud my bank card for 97p. Yes, they insult me by trying it on to the value of 97p, not even something with kudos, like £1,000,0000 only 97p. The gits. My card has been cancelled, which is a pain as I was going to Boots on Friday morning to be colour matched and now the timings won't work if I have to nip to the bank and withdraw money with my bank book (so 1990's, darling).
So here is my rant:
To the fool/s who tried to use my bank card to pay for something in America at 07.15 this morning long may you have builders at your house. May they turn up, quote a very low price for the slipped hip tile you had never noticed and you be stupid enough to accept. May they then condemn your roof, knock your aerial off and drop a claw hammer through the roof of your conservatory. Long may you be told stories of waiting for materials, early closing at builder's merchants, their mother dying 3 times so they can't do Fridays, watch them vanish around 15.30 each afternoon, come in from work to find your chocolate digestives gone, your Jaffa cakes disappeared, skid marks all over your toilet and inexplicably your bath. May you find your collection of dvds 1 or 2 short, your saved game of Monkey Island 2 overwritten, one skirting board repainted, stuff stored in your garage, muddy paw prints on the sofa and your wife and teenage daughters looking happy. And also if this isn't enough to send you over the edge, may you step on the odd upturned plug.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A pre Thursday rant - consider me the first act coming on to warm you up for the main event of tomorrow's rants.
I was awakened at 08.01 by my bank alerting me to an attempt to defraud my bank card for 97p. Yes, they insult me by trying it on to the value of 97p, not even something with kudos, like £1,000,0000 only 97p. The gits. My card has been cancelled, which is a pain as I was going to Boots on Friday morning to be colour matched and now the timings won't work if I have to nip to the bank and withdraw money with my bank book (so 1990's, darling).
So here is my rant:
To the fool/s who tried to use my bank card to pay for something in America at 07.15 this morning long may you have builders at your house. May they turn up, quote a very low price for the slipped hip tile you had never noticed and you be stupid enough to accept. May they then condemn your roof, knock your aerial off and drop a claw hammer through the roof of your conservatory. Long may you be told stories of waiting for materials, early closing at builder's merchants, their mother dying 3 times so they can't do Fridays, watch them vanish around 15.30 each afternoon, come in from work to find your chocolate digestives gone, your Jaffa cakes disappeared, skid marks all over your toilet and inexplicably your bath. May you find your collection of dvds 1 or 2 short, your saved game of Monkey Island 2 overwritten, one skirting board repainted, stuff stored in your garage, muddy paw prints on the sofa and your wife and teenage daughters looking happy. And also if this isn't enough to send you over the edge, may you step on the odd upturned plug. "
 
Maybe someone had a strong urge for a cpl of twinkies |
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By *andm288Couple
over a year ago
oxford |
Tina
Now now
That's not fair on us builders ! We might have contact our lawyer along with our insurance broker and proceed with a slander claim
Just for the record all my quotes are itemised and sealed with a contract &
Kiss lol
M  |
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"And people wonder why I don't do online banking, or have a credit card, or why I spend ages checking a companys bona fides before buying anything online! "
I have a pre-paid credit card to use on line, when I want to spend money on ebay I put money on the card and buy what I want...
Works like a charm! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It was just my bank card, I've not bothered with a credit card. It could be worse. It's just an inconvenience as I had plans for Friday "
If your with barclays you will be waiting 10 days for a new pin, I have had 2 sent now 10 days the first one and Monday .
It's driving me up the wall |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"WTF is 'be colour matched'?
Make up. It's me sat in Boots in drab mode whilst one of their peeps matches me up with the correct colour shades and so on  "
We have a girl at work who needs this. Her face is a different shade of orange to her neck, which is a different shade of Orange to her chest, which is a different shade of orange.... you get the picture, shes like a Ronseal paint chart! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A pre Thursday rant - consider me the first act coming on to warm you up for the main event of tomorrow's rants.
I was awakened at 08.01 by my bank alerting me to an attempt to defraud my bank card for 97p. Yes, they insult me by trying it on to the value of 97p, not even something with kudos, like £1,000,0000 only 97p. The gits. My card has been cancelled, which is a pain as I was going to Boots on Friday morning to be colour matched and now the timings won't work if I have to nip to the bank and withdraw money with my bank book (so 1990's, darling).
So here is my rant:
To the fool/s who tried to use my bank card to pay for something in America at 07.15 this morning long may you have builders at your house. May they turn up, quote a very low price for the slipped hip tile you had never noticed and you be stupid enough to accept. May they then condemn your roof, knock your aerial off and drop a claw hammer through the roof of your conservatory. Long may you be told stories of waiting for materials, early closing at builder's merchants, their mother dying 3 times so they can't do Fridays, watch them vanish around 15.30 each afternoon, come in from work to find your chocolate digestives gone, your Jaffa cakes disappeared, skid marks all over your toilet and inexplicably your bath. May you find your collection of dvds 1 or 2 short, your saved game of Monkey Island 2 overwritten, one skirting board repainted, stuff stored in your garage, muddy paw prints on the sofa and your wife and teenage daughters looking happy. And also if this isn't enough to send you over the edge, may you step on the odd upturned plug. "
One day all rants will be like this. |
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