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R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
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"No. Self confidence, maybe. Self respect, no." Why self confidence? Don't you need some to get out there and meet strangers? | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? " No, I think that kind of approach simply relies on what others think of you - and that is not self-respect. I live my life by my rules and that gives me my self-respect which includes being in charge of my own sexuality and having the sex life I choose to have. | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? " No. I don't think it would be the best place to be if you were. | |||
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"No. Self confidence, maybe. Self respect, no. Why self confidence? Don't you need some to get out there and meet strangers? " Yes which is partly why I'm not meeting much at the moment. It's only types of confidence I am short of. I'm happy enough going to a club or event by myself. | |||
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"No" Thats because you have no morals | |||
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"yes im a looser "Have some eggs to help bind you a bit then. Seriously? Are you lacking in self respect? | |||
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"I'm finding out what it means to me. I get tired (just a little bit) Keep on tryin' (just a little bit)" | |||
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"No Thats because you have no morals "Now there is an interesting response. Do you need morals to have self respect? | |||
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"Fuck no I've way more respect for those on here than the d*unken 2am Saturday morning, nightclub leaving 'any shag will do' brigade! ""I closed my eyes, drew back the curtain To see for certain what I thought I knew Far far away, someone was weeping But the world was sleeping Any shag will do" | |||
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"No Thats because you have no morals
Now there is an interesting response. Do you need morals to have self respect?"Shhhhhhhh... Don't confuse him, just as his meds are wearing off... | |||
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"yes im a looser
Have some eggs to help bind you a bit then.
Seriously? Are you lacking in self respect?"lol loser bloody keyboard see told you  | |||
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"and some people are just cobtentious !" is that contentious | |||
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"what a bizarre thing to say ..i am a very confident woman who has been doing this since my teens ...i dont lack confidence or self respect ..i simply enjoy sex with men " Why is it bizarre? It was on my mind as someone who used to be on here, for some considerable time, commented that me remaining on here showed that I have little or no respect for myself along with the others on here. I didn't expect people to all answer that they don't respect themselves but the qualifications and additions to what people respond are interesting to read. | |||
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"nah, gotta be able to love and respect yourself before you can have relax and have fun with other people x" | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? No, I think that kind of approach simply relies on what others think of you - and that is not self-respect. I live my life by my rules and that gives me my self-respect which includes being in charge of my own sexuality and having the sex life I choose to have." | |||
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"..if anything. You should have more self respect on here. "Can you have levels of self respect? | |||
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" It was on my mind as someone who used to be on here, for some considerable time, commented that me remaining on here showed that I have little or no respect for myself along with the others on here. I didn't expect people to all answer that they don't respect themselves but the qualifications and additions to what people respond are interesting to read. " so you couldnt actually quantify being on here with your own response to the question then without doubting your own self respect ? | |||
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"No not in the slightest "I absolutely agree... | |||
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" It was on my mind as someone who used to be on here, for some considerable time, commented that me remaining on here showed that I have little or no respect for myself along with the others on here. I didn't expect people to all answer that they don't respect themselves but the qualifications and additions to what people respond are interesting to read. so you couldnt actually quantify being on here with your own response to the question then without doubting your own self respect ?" I'm not having a row. I started a thread with a question. I have explained how it came into my my mind. That is all. | |||
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"..if anything. You should have more self respect on here.
Can you have levels of self respect?
"I suppose you can. | |||
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"nah, gotta be able to love and respect yourself before you can have relax and have fun with other people x" this.. would add that a cpl both need to have the utmost respect for each other before venturing into this aspect.. | |||
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"nah, gotta be able to love and respect yourself before you can have relax and have fun with other people x this.. would add that a cpl both need to have the utmost respect for each other before venturing into this aspect.." I suspect not just respect but understanding/knowledge too. | |||
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"nah, gotta be able to love and respect yourself before you can have relax and have fun with other people x this.. would add that a cpl both need to have the utmost respect for each other before venturing into this aspect.." Before we joined and in fact before we started with our first guy, which came way before our Fab profile, Lola and I had many evenings, with no telly on and talked and talked about what we both wanted and what pitfalls we could foresee. But low self esteem or self respect was never an issue for us in all those discussions. Surely, you wouldn't survive in this lifestyle very long without it being intact. | |||
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"nah, gotta be able to love and respect yourself before you can have relax and have fun with other people x this.. would add that a cpl both need to have the utmost respect for each other before venturing into this aspect.. Before we joined and in fact before we started with our first guy, which came way before our Fab profile, Lola and I had many evenings, with no telly on and talked and talked about what we both wanted and what pitfalls we could foresee. But low self esteem or self respect was never an issue for us in all those discussions. Surely, you wouldn't survive in this lifestyle very long without it being intact. " I think some people do have low self esteem and they use this as a way of boosting it. Lots of people have admitted it on other threads. | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? " Not in the slightest. | |||
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"what a bizarre thing to say ..i am a very confident woman who has been doing this since my teens ...i dont lack confidence or self respect ..i simply enjoy sex with men Why is it bizarre? It was on my mind as someone who used to be on here, for some considerable time, commented that me remaining on here showed that I have little or no respect for myself along with the others on here. I didn't expect people to all answer that they don't respect themselves but the qualifications and additions to what people respond are interesting to read. " Was it a man or a woman? I guess a man. Think it says a lot about them. Disillusioned. (sp?) | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? " Not at all. I'm lacking in confidence because of a few things that happened while I was on here last time. I still respect myself. I took a break, came back and didn't let it put me off. | |||
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"yes im a looser "I don't think you are Ruby | |||
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"No I'm loving my new life "Me too | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? " excellent question | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? " I'd be amazed if anyone said yes to this question because it's 'loaded', it basically asks people who are active in this lifestyle whether the lifestyle is 'acceptable'. A different angle would have been to ask whether people on here felt that wider society would percieve them as lacking in self respect because they are on this site. Once you get past the flood of 'i don't care what other people think' type answers, it would be interesting to see the overall _iew. | |||
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"Fuck no I've way more respect for those on here than the d*unken 2am Saturday morning, nightclub leaving 'any shag will do' brigade!
"I closed my eyes, drew back the curtain
To see for certain what I thought I knew
Far far away, someone was weeping
But the world was sleeping
Any shag will do""I was loving that until the end ......... and Any shag will not do .lol I am so so picky always have been and always will be. | |||
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"No just looking for a shag "And I'm sure you'll find the long line of blokes assuring you their best intentions | |||
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" I think there's a percentage on here who are sadly. Scratch beneath the surface of many, and they seem a little lonely or broken. Quite an indictment to make I know. We all know this site is much more than a classic swingers point of connection. It draws all sorts, and I think there are many who intimate they don't wish to be. Take a look at some of the status updates of some to see ? I hope they find it. " I do agree with this - some will be using this as a source of validation in whatever way they see fit. | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? I'd be amazed if anyone said yes to this question because it's 'loaded', it basically asks people who are active in this lifestyle whether the lifestyle is 'acceptable'. A different angle would have been to ask whether people on here felt that wider society would percieve them as lacking in self respect because they are on this site. Once you get past the flood of 'i don't care what other people think' type answers, it would be interesting to see the overall _iew. " Not sure if it was intended by the OP, but you are right , it is a loaded question. Rightly or wrongly 'self respect' as regards sexual activity is a social mantra we all indoctrinated into. Therefore stepping outside of societies sexual 'norms', conflicts and compromises accepted 'respectable' sexual behavior. Invariably many struggle with this. One has only to remember in less enlightened times, the feeling of self disgust, and self loathing articulated by many homosexuals because of this conflict. | |||
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"That's an interesting question OP! Must admit to singing that song when I saw the thread title, so I guess my self respect is in question. I wonder though, I've always been a bit non conformist, and somewhat of a mad hatter, but that doesnt mean I lack self respect. If anything, I am more acutely aware. Aware of how I conduct myself, and interact with others. I'm here to have my mind tickled too, not just my body. So Lickety, where do you stand on this question?" The man suggesting that I must lack respect for myself struck me as being a bit like an ex-smoker evangelising on the sinful ways of the smokers. My self respect is intact. My integrity does not feel at risk. I am very open about what I do and being here and do not fear exposure or risk extortion to protect my professional life. | |||
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"On the occasional club night we admit we may have participated with a few that we wouldn't have chosen to in vanilla life . If that means we have lost a bit of self respect then the answer is yes . However this is our escape from that life and whatever happens is good with us and we don't feel like we have lost any self respect being on here at all . "I can identify with the club scenario. It took me a little while of experimenting and having  I must never do that again moments before finding what works for me. I am fussy and even when that frustrates it does not compromise my self respect. | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? I'd be amazed if anyone said yes to this question because it's 'loaded', it basically asks people who are active in this lifestyle whether the lifestyle is 'acceptable'. A different angle would have been to ask whether people on here felt that wider society would percieve them as lacking in self respect because they are on this site. Once you get past the flood of 'i don't care what other people think' type answers, it would be interesting to see the overall _iew. Not sure if it was intended by the OP, but you are right , it is a loaded question. Rightly or wrongly 'self respect' as regards sexual activity is a social mantra we all indoctrinated into. Therefore stepping outside of societies sexual 'norms', conflicts and compromises accepted 'respectable' sexual behavior. Invariably many struggle with this. One has only to remember in less enlightened times, the feeling of self disgust, and self loathing articulated by many homosexuals because of this conflict. " To both of you - it was in my head that it was loaded but I wasn't capable of rephrasing it when I posted last night. I was and am interested in what people would say and some responses have advanced the discussion. | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? I'd be amazed if anyone said yes to this question because it's 'loaded', it basically asks people who are active in this lifestyle whether the lifestyle is 'acceptable'. A different angle would have been to ask whether people on here felt that wider society would percieve them as lacking in self respect because they are on this site. Once you get past the flood of 'i don't care what other people think' type answers, it would be interesting to see the overall _iew. " That's a totally different question though. 'Society' in general hasn't a clue what this is all about. 'They' can't make an informed judgement, so what 'they' think is irrelevant. It's how we feel about ourselves that matters. 'Society' already judges me quite wrongly on other things and can, quite frankly, take a running jump. The question is how we feel about ourselves and if we agree with the statement made to Lickety, which was made by another swinger. At least, an ex-swinger. So what 'society' thinks is nothing to do with it. | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? No, I think that kind of approach simply relies on what others think of you - and that is not self-respect. I live my life by my rules and that gives me my self-respect which includes being in charge of my own sexuality and having the sex life I choose to have." This | |||
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"That's an interesting question OP! Must admit to singing that song when I saw the thread title, so I guess my self respect is in question. I wonder though, I've always been a bit non conformist, and somewhat of a mad hatter, but that doesnt mean I lack self respect. If anything, I am more acutely aware. Aware of how I conduct myself, and interact with others. I'm here to have my mind tickled too, not just my body. So Lickety, where do you stand on this question? The man suggesting that I must lack respect for myself struck me as being a bit like an ex-smoker evangelising on the sinful ways of the smokers. My self respect is intact. My integrity does not feel at risk. I am very open about what I do and being here and do not fear exposure or risk extortion to protect my professional life. " That man isn't me (i hope). Was a very thought provoking question, but then your posts generally do get people a thinking
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"nah, gotta be able to love and respect yourself before you can have relax and have fun with other people x this.. would add that a cpl both need to have the utmost respect for each other before venturing into this aspect.. Before we joined and in fact before we started with our first guy, which came way before our Fab profile, Lola and I had many evenings, with no telly on and talked and talked about what we both wanted and what pitfalls we could foresee. But low self esteem or self respect was never an issue for us in all those discussions. Surely, you wouldn't survive in this lifestyle very long without it being intact. " pretty much the same as us, we discussed it for about 18 months before dipping ones toes in.. not sure i get the low self esteem angle but respect others will have done so to boost their own low self esteem, think you need to be sorted with that as lets be honest if your first experience is a bad one the chances are an already low self esteem may be damaged even further.. our first meet went pretty bandy tbh, but we discussed it put it down to experience and learnt from it.. | |||
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"No just looking for a shag
And I'm sure you'll find the long line of blokes assuring you their best intentions "Oh of course | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? I'd be amazed if anyone said yes to this question because it's 'loaded', it basically asks people who are active in this lifestyle whether the lifestyle is 'acceptable'. A different angle would have been to ask whether people on here felt that wider society would percieve them as lacking in self respect because they are on this site. Once you get past the flood of 'i don't care what other people think' type answers, it would be interesting to see the overall _iew. " I don't think it could be pinned down because people are on here for so many different reasons. The gut reaction though: to couples - tittering/deviants/something wrong with their relationships/weirdos Single men - typical! Single women - slag Which is why most of us keep it private, despite how we might like to kid ourselves we don't care what others think. Though maybe it's because we have self respect that we keep it quiet? Come to think of it - what is self respect? | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? I'd be amazed if anyone said yes to this question because it's 'loaded', it basically asks people who are active in this lifestyle whether the lifestyle is 'acceptable'. A different angle would have been to ask whether people on here felt that wider society would percieve them as lacking in self respect because they are on this site. Once you get past the flood of 'i don't care what other people think' type answers, it would be interesting to see the overall _iew. I don't think it could be pinned down because people are on here for so many different reasons. The gut reaction though: to couples - tittering/deviants/something wrong with their relationships/weirdos Single men - typical! Single women - slag Which is why most of us keep it private, despite how we might like to kid ourselves we don't care what others think. Though maybe it's because we have self respect that we keep it quiet? Come to think of it - what is self respect?" I have been pondering that too. Is it linked to morals, external society or an innate sense of right/wrong and self? | |||
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"Though maybe it's because we have self respect that we keep it quiet?" and for those close to us.. | |||
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"Iv actually got more respect for myself since starting this lifestyle might sound mad . My confidence as doubled as well . " Makes a nice change to hear a man say that. | |||
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"i think people who live their life doing what they do because its the thing to do, and not doing what they want to do, havnt got much self respect. then there are women on here with such low self esteem that they are grateful for the attention of almost any man, they cant have much self respect." Whoa! Bit of a wild statement and assumption. It seems to me your own moral judgement plays up here. Could it be possible that sex with just anybody is a deliberate choice for a woman without her selfrespect having taken a nosedive? That perhaps other issues weigh heavier for her? | |||
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"i think people who live their life doing what they do because its the thing to do, and not doing what they want to do, havnt got much self respect. then there are women on here with such low self esteem that they are grateful for the attention of almost any man, they cant have much self respect. Whoa! Bit of a wild statement and assumption. It seems to me your own moral judgement plays up here. Could it be possible that sex with just anybody is a deliberate choice for a woman without her selfrespect having taken a nosedive? That perhaps other issues weigh heavier for her?" yes of course, other issues like what though? | |||
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"i think people who live their life doing what they do because its the thing to do, and not doing what they want to do, havnt got much self respect. then there are women on here with such low self esteem that they are grateful for the attention of almost any man, they cant have much self respect. Whoa! Bit of a wild statement and assumption. It seems to me your own moral judgement plays up here. Could it be possible that sex with just anybody is a deliberate choice for a woman without her selfrespect having taken a nosedive? That perhaps other issues weigh heavier for her?" Unless she's talking from her own experience  | |||
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"i think people who live their life doing what they do because its the thing to do, and not doing what they want to do, havnt got much self respect. then there are women on here with such low self esteem that they are grateful for the attention of almost any man, they cant have much self respect. Whoa! Bit of a wild statement and assumption. It seems to me your own moral judgement plays up here. Could it be possible that sex with just anybody is a deliberate choice for a woman without her selfrespect having taken a nosedive? That perhaps other issues weigh heavier for her? Unless she's talking from her own experience "People will believe what they want to believe. | |||
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"i think people who live their life doing what they do because its the thing to do, and not doing what they want to do, havnt got much self respect. then there are women on here with such low self esteem that they are grateful for the attention of almost any man, they cant have much self respect. Whoa! Bit of a wild statement and assumption. It seems to me your own moral judgement plays up here. Could it be possible that sex with just anybody is a deliberate choice for a woman without her selfrespect having taken a nosedive? That perhaps other issues weigh heavier for her? Unless she's talking from her own experience "this is far more interesting than loose women ! Carry on ladies, I like this | |||
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"Think you loose all self respect if you have no real control and just sleep with anything regardless if you don't take into consideration what most people look for with potential meets e.g. Attraction , sexual connection , getting to know someone first and obviously having standards ! " I can see where you're coming from. I think I would lose my own self-respect if I had the male "any hole's a goal" mentality. I cannot see it happening because if it's just an orgasm I want I use my rabbit. I'm here for a total experience. However I don't judge others for their "any hole's a goal" mentality because it is simply their choice. | |||
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"i think people who live their life doing what they do because its the thing to do, and not doing what they want to do, havnt got much self respect. then there are women on here with such low self esteem that they are grateful for the attention of almost any man, they cant have much self respect. Whoa! Bit of a wild statement and assumption. It seems to me your own moral judgement plays up here. Could it be possible that sex with just anybody is a deliberate choice for a woman without her selfrespect having taken a nosedive? That perhaps other issues weigh heavier for her? Unless she's talking from her own experience this is far more interesting than loose women ! Carry on ladies, I like this "you watch loose women, why am i not surprised. | |||
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"i think people who live their life doing what they do because its the thing to do, and not doing what they want to do, havnt got much self respect. then there are women on here with such low self esteem that they are grateful for the attention of almost any man, they cant have much self respect. Whoa! Bit of a wild statement and assumption. It seems to me your own moral judgement plays up here. Could it be possible that sex with just anybody is a deliberate choice for a woman without her selfrespect having taken a nosedive? That perhaps other issues weigh heavier for her? Unless she's talking from her own experience this is far more interesting than loose women ! Carry on ladies, I like this "I was reading the thread from the bottom up and I guessed who had written the comment before I got to the original post. I'm spending far too much time in here | |||
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"i think people who live their life doing what they do because its the thing to do, and not doing what they want to do, havnt got much self respect. then there are women on here with such low self esteem that they are grateful for the attention of almost any man, they cant have much self respect. Whoa! Bit of a wild statement and assumption. It seems to me your own moral judgement plays up here. Could it be possible that sex with just anybody is a deliberate choice for a woman without her selfrespect having taken a nosedive? That perhaps other issues weigh heavier for her? Unless she's talking from her own experience this is far more interesting than loose women ! Carry on ladies, I like this
I was reading the thread from the bottom up and I guessed who had written the comment before I got to the original post. I'm spending far too much time in here "That will be because people repeat themselves a lot on here. | |||
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"Think you loose all self respect if you have no real control and just sleep with anything regardless if you don't take into consideration what most people look for with potential meets e.g. Attraction , sexual connection , getting to know someone first and obviously having standards ! " Like the ones that say, anything anywhere. not that theres anything wrong with that. | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? " Maybe if a person was shagging everything that moved never cared about nothing or no one not even themselves yes maybe lacking in respect as not going to gum and putting others at risk and themselves. | |||
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"i think people who live their life doing what they do because its the thing to do, and not doing what they want to do, havnt got much self respect. then there are women on here with such low self esteem that they are grateful for the attention of almost any man, they cant have much self respect. Whoa! Bit of a wild statement and assumption. It seems to me your own moral judgement plays up here. Could it be possible that sex with just anybody is a deliberate choice for a woman without her selfrespect having taken a nosedive? That perhaps other issues weigh heavier for her? Unless she's talking from her own experience this is far more interesting than loose women ! Carry on ladies, I like this "I'm done. Trying to go for cheap laughs is not my style. | |||
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"An interesting turn. Assumptions about the self-respect others have for themselves is exactly what prompted my thoughts. My ex-Fab friend felt he had regained his self-respect after leaving Fab and can't understand that I don't feel I have lost mine. He assumed that being here I must have lost mine. " End of the day you need to be true to who you are as a person no matter what others do and say . Your life yours to live. | |||
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"An interesting turn. Assumptions about the self-respect others have for themselves is exactly what prompted my thoughts. My ex-Fab friend felt he had regained his self-respect after leaving Fab and can't understand that I don't feel I have lost mine. He assumed that being here I must have lost mine. " I think I can understand why somebody single might think that way. It all depends on what you're here for. | |||
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"An interesting turn. Assumptions about the self-respect others have for themselves is exactly what prompted my thoughts. My ex-Fab friend felt he had regained his self-respect after leaving Fab and can't understand that I don't feel I have lost mine. He assumed that being here I must have lost mine. I think I can understand why somebody single might think that way. It all depends on what you're here for." I think he was here to recapture something - excitement, youth, desire - and so are many others. We all have a reason. | |||
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"An interesting turn. Assumptions about the self-respect others have for themselves is exactly what prompted my thoughts. My ex-Fab friend felt he had regained his self-respect after leaving Fab and can't understand that I don't feel I have lost mine. He assumed that being here I must have lost mine. " Many people make assumptions or judgements using their own yardstick. This yardstick may be made due to life experiences or how people think they would act in the same situation. Both of these ways are faulty, simply because we haven't lived the life of that other person. We only know the world according to ourselves, we are no better or worse than any other. Unfortunately when we make judgements we can come across as superior to others, and sometimes we do not mean to be harsh and should turn assumptions into questions. | |||
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"You know your own truth." and no-one else's. | |||
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"An interesting turn. Assumptions about the self-respect others have for themselves is exactly what prompted my thoughts. My ex-Fab friend felt he had regained his self-respect after leaving Fab and can't understand that I don't feel I have lost mine. He assumed that being here I must have lost mine. I think I can understand why somebody single might think that way. It all depends on what you're here for. I think he was here to recapture something - excitement, youth, desire - and so are many others. We all have a reason. " I came for similar reasons, and realised I had opened pandoras box. But I think its been said that you have the key to your self respect, and its retention. I don't see a conflict, but the thread may prompt others to examine themselves. It got me thinking... | |||
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"An interesting turn. Assumptions about the self-respect others have for themselves is exactly what prompted my thoughts. My ex-Fab friend felt he had regained his self-respect after leaving Fab and can't understand that I don't feel I have lost mine. He assumed that being here I must have lost mine. I think I can understand why somebody single might think that way. It all depends on what you're here for. I think he was here to recapture something - excitement, youth, desire - and so are many others. We all have a reason. I came for similar reasons, and realised I had opened pandoras box. But I think its been said that you have the key to your self respect, and its retention. I don't see a conflict, but the thread may prompt others to examine themselves. It got me thinking..." A little bit of reflection is no bad thing. It is all too easy to become complacent about ourselves. Don't go overboard and join me in Overthinkers Anonymous though. | |||
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"Now that is funny! You got many members? "Quite a few. The only problem is that I have been working on the rules for such a long time. Every time I think it's done I have another thought. | |||
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"Many people make assumptions or judgements using their own yardstick. This yardstick may be made due to life experiences or how people think they would act in the same situation. Both of these ways are faulty, simply because we haven't lived the life of that other person." True. But as it's all we've got, it'll have to do. | |||
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"Now that is funny! You got many members?
Quite a few. The only problem is that I have been working on the rules for such a long time. Every time I think it's done I have another thought.
"Perfectionist or procrastinator? I must admit I distract myself with new ideas too! | |||
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"nah, gotta be able to love and respect yourself before you can have relax and have fun with other people x this.. would add that a cpl both need to have the utmost respect for each other before venturing into this aspect.. Before we joined and in fact before we started with our first guy, which came way before our Fab profile, Lola and I had many evenings, with no telly on and talked and talked about what we both wanted and what pitfalls we could foresee. But low self esteem or self respect was never an issue for us in all those discussions. Surely, you wouldn't survive in this lifestyle very long without it being intact. pretty much the same as us, we discussed it for about 18 months before dipping ones toes in.. not sure i get the low self esteem angle but respect others will have done so to boost their own low self esteem, think you need to be sorted with that as lets be honest if your first experience is a bad one the chances are an already low self esteem may be damaged even further.. our first meet went pretty bandy tbh, but we discussed it put it down to experience and learnt from it.. " Glad you pushed past the first bad experience to more enjoyable times! I think I included esteem along with respect as a rose by any other name, nothing more than that. | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? " I'm showing myself more respect by attending to my needs. | |||
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"nah, gotta be able to love and respect yourself before you can have relax and have fun with other people x this.. would add that a cpl both need to have the utmost respect for each other before venturing into this aspect.. Before we joined and in fact before we started with our first guy, which came way before our Fab profile, Lola and I had many evenings, with no telly on and talked and talked about what we both wanted and what pitfalls we could foresee. But low self esteem or self respect was never an issue for us in all those discussions. Surely, you wouldn't survive in this lifestyle very long without it being intact. pretty much the same as us, we discussed it for about 18 months before dipping ones toes in.. not sure i get the low self esteem angle but respect others will have done so to boost their own low self esteem, think you need to be sorted with that as lets be honest if your first experience is a bad one the chances are an already low self esteem may be damaged even further.. our first meet went pretty bandy tbh, but we discussed it put it down to experience and learnt from it.. Glad you pushed past the first bad experience to more enjoyable times! I think I included esteem along with respect as a rose by any other name, nothing more than that. " thanks.. | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? I'm showing myself more respect by attending to my needs. " That is a very good point. | |||
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"no" does it end ? | |||
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"No just looking for a shag "hubba hubba xx | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? " yes, think we will leave and contemplate our issues | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? yes, think we will leave and contemplate our issues "noooo xx | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? I'd be amazed if anyone said yes to this question because it's 'loaded', it basically asks people who are active in this lifestyle whether the lifestyle is 'acceptable'. A different angle would have been to ask whether people on here felt that wider society would percieve them as lacking in self respect because they are on this site. Once you get past the flood of 'i don't care what other people think' type answers, it would be interesting to see the overall _iew. That's a totally different question though. 'Society' in general hasn't a clue what this is all about. 'They' can't make an informed judgement, so what 'they' think is irrelevant. It's how we feel about ourselves that matters. 'Society' already judges me quite wrongly on other things and can, quite frankly, take a running jump. The question is how we feel about ourselves and if we agree with the statement made to Lickety, which was made by another swinger. At least, an ex-swinger. So what 'society' thinks is nothing to do with it." Respect is a judgement call. It is based in value which is a measurement. The 'scale' of measures used to quantify that value has been constructed by your societies norms. Level of self respect or the level of self value would have no base or measure without wider society imposing it's norm and attempting to predetermine what is respectful behavior. If this lifestyle was societies norm then the question of self respect of those participating in it would never be asked. I don't accept societies norm as my 'barometer' when I think about this aspect of my lifestyle, so I choose not to accept someone elses ascertion that I should reflect and self judge. | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? I'd be amazed if anyone said yes to this question because it's 'loaded', it basically asks people who are active in this lifestyle whether the lifestyle is 'acceptable'. A different angle would have been to ask whether people on here felt that wider society would percieve them as lacking in self respect because they are on this site. Once you get past the flood of 'i don't care what other people think' type answers, it would be interesting to see the overall _iew. That's a totally different question though. 'Society' in general hasn't a clue what this is all about. 'They' can't make an informed judgement, so what 'they' think is irrelevant. It's how we feel about ourselves that matters. 'Society' already judges me quite wrongly on other things and can, quite frankly, take a running jump. The question is how we feel about ourselves and if we agree with the statement made to Lickety, which was made by another swinger. At least, an ex-swinger. So what 'society' thinks is nothing to do with it. Respect is a judgement call. It is based in value which is a measurement. The 'scale' of measures used to quantify that value has been constructed by your societies norms. Level of self respect or the level of self value would have no base or measure without wider society imposing it's norm and attempting to predetermine what is respectful behavior. If this lifestyle was societies norm then the question of self respect of those participating in it would never be asked. I don't accept societies norm as my 'barometer' when I think about this aspect of my lifestyle, so I choose not to accept someone elses ascertion that I should reflect and self judge. " Nobody has asserted that you should reflect and judge yourself. A question was asked and people can choose to answer it or not. If you think it's a crap question and that you have a better one, start a new thread and ask it rather than trying to drag the discussion off course. It's interesting that you think what 'society' thinks is the basis of how an individual feels about him or herself. I disagree that that is always the case. | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? " What a very strange question! So do you lack self respect because your involved in this life style? We certainly don't lack self respect and actually respect others that have chosen to participate in the swing scene.. | |||
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"No I just know im ugly and fat. The good thing about this site is you can pretend to be someone you arnt. Lol" Can you? | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? What a very strange question! So do you lack self respect because your involved in this life style? We certainly don't lack self respect and actually respect others that have chosen to participate in the swing scene.. " I ask many questions. | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? What a very strange question! So do you lack self respect because your involved in this life style? We certainly don't lack self respect and actually respect others that have chosen to participate in the swing scene.. I ask many questions." You didn't answer my question, so do you lack self respect? | |||
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"its not a lifestyle, to us, but a hobby to do when we fancy. " Same here really, we don't actually meet that often... As and when! Not even once a month | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? What a very strange question! So do you lack self respect because your involved in this life style? We certainly don't lack self respect and actually respect others that have chosen to participate in the swing scene.. I ask many questions. You didn't answer my question, so do you lack self respect? " Sorry, I didn't realise you had asked me that question seriously. No I don't but I have answered this a couple of times on the thread already. | |||
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"No I just know im ugly and fat. The good thing about this site is you can pretend to be someone you arnt. Lol Can you?" Yes how often do you see someone putting the bad points in ther profile. Like criminal records their real weight and their weaknesses? | |||
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"Do you think you are lacking in self-respect because you are on this site and living this lifestyle? What a very strange question! So do you lack self respect because your involved in this life style? We certainly don't lack self respect and actually respect others that have chosen to participate in the swing scene.. I ask many questions. You didn't answer my question, so do you lack self respect? Sorry, I didn't realise you had asked me that question seriously. No I don't but I have answered this a couple of times on the thread already." I didn't read the other comments.. | |||
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"No I just know im ugly and fat. The good thing about this site is you can pretend to be someone you arnt. Lol Can you? Yes how often do you see someone putting the bad points in ther profile. Like criminal records their real weight and their weaknesses? " I don't expect full exposure. I don't even expect full nakedness. I don't see the point in pretending to be something I am not as it just sounds like hard work. | |||
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"No I just know im ugly and fat. The good thing about this site is you can pretend to be someone you arnt. Lol Can you? Yes how often do you see someone putting the bad points in ther profile. Like criminal records their real weight and their weaknesses? " I'm honest on my profile. My real age and size are there. The photos are of me and are recent. Everything I say about myself is true. I even say I'm not beautiful. I don't have any criminal convictions and wouldn't mention them if I did because I wouldn't consider it relevant to meets for casual sex. Of course, what I consider my bad points and what someone else would consider my bad points will differ anyway. I can't understand why you'd want to be here if you think everyone here is pretending to be something they're not. | |||
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"No I just know im ugly and fat. The good thing about this site is you can pretend to be someone you arnt. Lol Can you? Yes how often do you see someone putting the bad points in ther profile. Like criminal records their real weight and their weaknesses? " We are honest on our profile, real ages, real weights the lot! We don't have a criminal record | |||
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" Nobody has asserted that you should reflect and judge yourself. A question was asked and people can choose to answer it or not. If you think it's a crap question and that you have a better one, start a new thread and ask it rather than trying to drag the discussion off course. It's interesting that you think what 'society' thinks is the basis of how an individual feels about him or herself. I disagree that that is always the case." I have in no way suggested it is a 'crap question', you clearly do not understand the point I am making. The Ops question asks that you 'reflect and judge yourself'. Can you not see that? The Op has been kind enough to explain what lead to her raising the question. I believe the ex swinger who had engaged with her was asking her to reflect and judge herself against his predetermined _iew of societies norms. Maybe I haven't made myself clear (that's for others to decide), but just because you don't understand my answer it doesn't mean I haven't answered the Ops question. | |||
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" Nobody has asserted that you should reflect and judge yourself. A question was asked and people can choose to answer it or not. If you think it's a crap question and that you have a better one, start a new thread and ask it rather than trying to drag the discussion off course. It's interesting that you think what 'society' thinks is the basis of how an individual feels about him or herself. I disagree that that is always the case. I have in no way suggested it is a 'crap question', you clearly do not understand the point I am making. The Ops question asks that you 'reflect and judge yourself'. Can you not see that? The Op has been kind enough to explain what lead to her raising the question. I believe the ex swinger who had engaged with her was asking her to reflect and judge herself against his predetermined _iew of societies norms. Maybe I haven't made myself clear (that's for others to decide), but just because you don't understand my answer it doesn't mean I haven't answered the Ops question. " I think you have understood my clarification and I have understood your points. | |||
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"No I just know im ugly and fat. The good thing about this site is you can pretend to be someone you arnt. Lol Can you? Yes how often do you see someone putting the bad points in ther profile. Like criminal records their real weight and their weaknesses? We are honest on our profile, real ages, real weights the lot! We don't have a criminal record "Warts and all? | |||
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"But its not casual sex is it. You have to write a essay. Take loads of selfys meet for a coffee and then maybe if your Lucky you may get laid. what the f***s casual about that? " You don't have to remember their birthday. | |||
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"How is self respect measured if not against opinions, judgements & regard? Does somebody living in isolation have it - or need it?" | |||
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"No I just know im ugly and fat. The good thing about this site is you can pretend to be someone you arnt. Lol Can you? Yes how often do you see someone putting the bad points in ther profile. Like criminal records their real weight and their weaknesses? We are honest on our profile, real ages, real weights the lot! We don't have a criminal record
Warts and all? "We don't have warts either  | |||
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"but just because you don't understand my answer it doesn't mean I haven't answered the Ops question. " I'm going to borrow this in the future
Just because you haven't understood me doesn't mean I haven't made sense.
That'll be useful in all sorts of ways.. | |||
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"But its not casual sex is it. You have to write a essay. Take loads of selfys meet for a coffee and then maybe if your Lucky you may get laid. what the f***s casual about that? You don't have to remember their birthday." If you pick a girl up in a bar. You dont even have to remember her name lol | |||
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"But its not casual sex is it. You have to write a essay. Take loads of selfys meet for a coffee and then maybe if your Lucky you may get laid. what the f***s casual about that? You don't have to remember their birthday. If you pick a girl up in a bar. You dont even have to remember her name lol" There you have the solution. I don't know why more people don't do this. | |||
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" Nobody has asserted that you should reflect and judge yourself. A question was asked and people can choose to answer it or not. If you think it's a crap question and that you have a better one, start a new thread and ask it rather than trying to drag the discussion off course. It's interesting that you think what 'society' thinks is the basis of how an individual feels about him or herself. I disagree that that is always the case. I have in no way suggested it is a 'crap question', you clearly do not understand the point I am making. The Ops question asks that you 'reflect and judge yourself'. Can you not see that? The Op has been kind enough to explain what lead to her raising the question. I believe the ex swinger who had engaged with her was asking her to reflect and judge herself against his predetermined _iew of societies norms. Maybe I haven't made myself clear (that's for others to decide), but just because you don't understand my answer it doesn't mean I haven't answered the Ops question. " Can you not see that asking people to examine how they feel is not the same as asserting that anyone should? Nobody asserted that you should do anything. Your first response to the question was to suggest a better question would be something else entirely, which wouldn't have addressed what Lickety was wondering as a result of the comment made to her. That wasn't an answer. | |||
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"But its not casual sex is it. You have to write a essay. Take loads of selfys meet for a coffee and then maybe if your Lucky you may get laid. what the f***s casual about that? You don't have to remember their birthday. If you pick a girl up in a bar. You dont even have to remember her name lol There you have the solution. I don't know why more people don't do this. " Because they cant. Hence why they are on hear with fake profiles | |||
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"But its not casual sex is it. You have to write a essay. Take loads of selfys meet for a coffee and then maybe if your Lucky you may get laid. what the f***s casual about that? You don't have to remember their birthday. If you pick a girl up in a bar. You dont even have to remember her name lol" So do that then if it suits you better. Bitterness isn't appealing. As for remembering my name, some of my meets never know my real name. | |||
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"But its not casual sex is it. You have to write a essay. Take loads of selfys meet for a coffee and then maybe if your Lucky you may get laid. what the f***s casual about that? You don't have to remember their birthday. If you pick a girl up in a bar. You dont even have to remember her name lol So do that then if it suits you better. Bitterness isn't appealing. As for remembering my name, some of my meets never know my real name."
Why hide your identity. Are you really that ashamed of what you are doing? | |||
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"But its not casual sex is it. You have to write a essay. Take loads of selfys meet for a coffee and then maybe if your Lucky you may get laid. what the f***s casual about that? You don't have to remember their birthday. If you pick a girl up in a bar. You dont even have to remember her name lol There you have the solution. I don't know why more people don't do this. Because they cant. Hence why they are on hear with fake profiles" If someone can't get partners in the "real world" they are unlikely to be successful here either. One of your listed requirements, the meet for coffee one, is to check both parties are who and what they say they are. If they've been dishonest, I walk away. | |||
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" I don't accept societies norm as my 'barometer' when I think about this aspect of my lifestyle, so I choose not to accept someone elses ascertion that I should reflect and self judge. …..................................... It's interesting that you think what 'society' thinks is the basis of how an individual feels about him or herself. I disagree that that is always the case." My last paragraph and your last paragraph in response. What exactly do you disagree with? | |||
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"But its not casual sex is it. You have to write a essay. Take loads of selfys meet for a coffee and then maybe if your Lucky you may get laid. what the f***s casual about that? You don't have to remember their birthday. If you pick a girl up in a bar. You dont even have to remember her name lol So do that then if it suits you better. Bitterness isn't appealing. As for remembering my name, some of my meets never know my real name.
Why hide your identity. Are you really that ashamed of what you are doing? "could ask the same of yourself | |||
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"But its not casual sex is it. You have to write a essay. Take loads of selfys meet for a coffee and then maybe if your Lucky you may get laid. what the f***s casual about that? You don't have to remember their birthday. If you pick a girl up in a bar. You dont even have to remember her name lol So do that then if it suits you better. Bitterness isn't appealing. As for remembering my name, some of my meets never know my real name.
Why hide your identity. Are you really that ashamed of what you are doing? "I'm not ashamed of it at all but, like I said, this is casual sex. No strings. Why do they need to know my name? Especially since you said when picking a woman up in a bar you don't have to remember her name like it's a good thing. If you don't want the hassle of remembering a name, does it matter if you never know it? | |||
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"But its not casual sex is it. You have to write a essay. Take loads of selfys meet for a coffee and then maybe if your Lucky you may get laid. what the f***s casual about that? You don't have to remember their birthday. If you pick a girl up in a bar. You dont even have to remember her name lol There you have the solution. I don't know why more people don't do this.@ Because they cant. Hence why they are on hear with fake profiles If someone can't get partners in the "real world" they are unlikely to be successful here either. One of your listed requirements, the meet for coffee one, is to check both parties are who and what they say they are. If they've been dishonest, I walk away."
I take it by that you have met some fakes. Maybe I was wrong to stereotype. However theirs a lot of fakes on hear. If wear honest theirs alot of pepole escaping the real world | |||
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"But its not casual sex is it. You have to write a essay. Take loads of selfys meet for a coffee and then maybe if your Lucky you may get laid. what the f***s casual about that? You don't have to remember their birthday. If you pick a girl up in a bar. You dont even have to remember her name lol So do that then if it suits you better. Bitterness isn't appealing. As for remembering my name, some of my meets never know my real name.
Why hide your identity. Are you really that ashamed of what you are doing?
I'm not ashamed of it at all but, like I said, this is casual sex. No strings.
Why do they need to know my name? Especially since you said when picking a woman up in a bar you don't have to remember her name like it's a good thing.
If you don't want the hassle of remembering a name, does it matter if you never know it?"no but I wouldnt make up a name thats just weird. If your that ashamed then you shouldn't do it | |||
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"But its not casual sex is it. You have to write a essay. Take loads of selfys meet for a coffee and then maybe if your Lucky you may get laid. what the f***s casual about that? " Ah, so you should just send a fancy a fuck message then without either of you knowing what the other looks like, but knowing all about their exact weight and convictions, should meet immediately for sex. That would be casual sex would it? No place or need for actual attraction, or to know anything about the person or to be able to suss out a total stranger you're about to spend alone time with, to check they're not a nutter or stinky. Casual. Any time with anyone who asks. Right?  | |||
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"But its not casual sex is it. You have to write a essay. Take loads of selfys meet for a coffee and then maybe if your Lucky you may get laid. what the f***s casual about that? You don't have to remember their birthday. If you pick a girl up in a bar. You dont even have to remember her name lol There you have the solution. I don't know why more people don't do this.@ Because they cant. Hence why they are on hear with fake profiles If someone can't get partners in the "real world" they are unlikely to be successful here either. One of your listed requirements, the meet for coffee one, is to check both parties are who and what they say they are. If they've been dishonest, I walk away.
I take it by that you have met some fakes. Maybe I was wrong to stereotype. However theirs a lot of fakes on hear. If wear honest theirs alot of pepole escaping the real world "You can escape the "real world" without lying or pretending to be something you're not. | |||
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"But its not casual sex is it. You have to write a essay. Take loads of selfys meet for a coffee and then maybe if your Lucky you may get laid. what the f***s casual about that? Ah, so you should just send a fancy a fuck message then without either of you knowing what the other looks like, but knowing all about their exact weight and convictions, should meet immediately for sex. That would be casual sex would it? No place or need for actual attraction, or to know anything about the person or to be able to suss out a total stranger you're about to spend alone time with, to check they're not a nutter or stinky. Casual. Any time with anyone who asks. Right? "At least I could pull then. pmsl | |||
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" no but I wouldnt make up a name thats just weird. If your that ashamed then you shouldn't do it" Hmmm
I don't give out my real name, not because I am ashamed (far from it) but because with my first name known I found it was easier for the stalkers to find out where I live.
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" no but I wouldnt make up a name thats just weird. If your that ashamed then you shouldn't do it Hmmm
I don't give out my real name, not because I am ashamed (far from it) but because with my first name known I found it was easier for the stalkers to find out where I live.
"Like I said liars. I bet know one puts that their an obsessive stalker with a collection of court orders do they? | |||
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"But its not casual sex is it. You have to write a essay. Take loads of selfys meet for a coffee and then maybe if your Lucky you may get laid. what the f***s casual about that? You don't have to remember their birthday. If you pick a girl up in a bar. You dont even have to remember her name lol So do that then if it suits you better. Bitterness isn't appealing. As for remembering my name, some of my meets never know my real name.
Why hide your identity. Are you really that ashamed of what you are doing?
I'm not ashamed of it at all but, like I said, this is casual sex. No strings.
Why do they need to know my name? Especially since you said when picking a woman up in a bar you don't have to remember her name like it's a good thing.
If you don't want the hassle of remembering a name, does it matter if you never know it? no but I wouldnt make up a name thats just weird. If your that ashamed then you shouldn't do it"I'm showing my face in my avatar. How do you equate that to being ashamed exactly?! A lot of people use an initial or a different name on here - including men - until they know someone. Some never give their real name. Some enjoy the anonymous encounters. Taking steps to protect ones privacy and safety is not the same as being ashamed. Perhaps you've never considered how a single woman might feel meeting a stranger and the risk she might be taking. Of course she'll want to take steps to minimise that risk. People get to use the site and conduct their meets the way they wish, not how you think they should. Why if you think everyone here is a fake and that you have to write essays and take selfies and go on coffee meets, are you here? If picking up women in bars is easier, do that. If not, do what you need to do to get what you want, or go without. | |||
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"If you think it's a crap question and that you have a better one, start a new thread and ask it rather than trying to drag the discussion off course.." So that proved ironic! | |||
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"But its not casual sex is it. You have to write a essay. Take loads of selfys meet for a coffee and then maybe if your Lucky you may get laid. what the f***s casual about that? You don't have to remember their birthday. If you pick a girl up in a bar. You dont even have to remember her name lol So do that then if it suits you better. Bitterness isn't appealing. As for remembering my name, some of my meets never know my real name.
Why hide your identity. Are you really that ashamed of what you are doing?
I'm not ashamed of it at all but, like I said, this is casual sex. No strings.
Why do they need to know my name? Especially since you said when picking a woman up in a bar you don't have to remember her name like it's a good thing.
If you don't want the hassle of remembering a name, does it matter if you never know it? no but I wouldnt make up a name thats just weird. If your that ashamed then you shouldn't do it
I'm showing my face in my avatar. How do you equate that to being ashamed exactly?!
A lot of people use an initial or a different name on here - including men - until they know someone. Some never give their real name. Some enjoy the anonymous encounters.
Taking steps to protect ones privacy and safety is not the same as being ashamed. Perhaps you've never considered how a single woman might feel meeting a stranger and the risk she might be taking. Of course she'll want to take steps to minimise that risk.
People get to use the site and conduct their meets the way they wish, not how you think they should.
Why if you think everyone here is a fake and that you have to write essays and take selfies and go on coffee meets, are you here? If picking up women in bars is easier, do that. If not, do what you need to do to get what you want, or go without."Ok so your parents know your on hear. I take it you havr told your freinds and colleges then? | |||
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" no but I wouldnt make up a name thats just weird. If your that ashamed then you shouldn't do it Hmmm
I don't give out my real name, not because I am ashamed (far from it) but because with my first name known I found it was easier for the stalkers to find out where I live.
Like I said liars. I bet know one puts that their an obsessive stalker with a collection of court orders do they? "They may never have stalked before and I was their first. | |||
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" no but I wouldnt make up a name thats just weird. If your thats ashamed then you shouldn't do it Hmmm
I don't give out my real name, not because I am ashamed (far from it) but because with my first name known I found it was easier for the stalkers to find out where I live.
Like I said liars. I bet know one puts that their an obsessive stalker with a collection of court orders do they? "Because most aren't, probably
You ever thought that since this place seems to be making you bitter and twisted that it might not be good for you.
Bitterness and desperation can be smelta mile off and a poor me, I can't pull attitude is not going to help you. | |||
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"But its not casual sex is it. You have to write a essay. Take loads of selfys meet for a coffee and then maybe if your Lucky you may get laid. what the f***s casual about that? You don't have to remember their birthday. If you pick a girl up in a bar. You dont even have to remember her name lol So do that then if it suits you better. Bitterness isn't appealing. As for remembering my name, some of my meets never know my real name.
Why hide your identity. Are you really that ashamed of what you are doing?
I'm not ashamed of it at all but, like I said, this is casual sex. No strings.
Why do they need to know my name? Especially since you said when picking a woman up in a bar you don't have to remember her name like it's a good thing.
If you don't want the hassle of remembering a name, does it matter if you never know it? no but I wouldnt make up a name thats just weird. If your that ashamed then you shouldn't do it
I'm showing my face in my avatar. How do you equate that to being ashamed exactly?!
A lot of people use an initial or a different name on here - including men - until they know someone. Some never give their real name. Some enjoy the anonymous encounters.
Taking steps to protect ones privacy and safety is not the same as being ashamed. Perhaps you've never considered how a single woman might feel meeting a stranger and the risk she might be taking. Of course she'll want to take steps to minimise that risk.
People get to use the site and conduct their meets the way they wish, not how you think they should.
Why if you think everyone here is a fake and that you have to write essays and take selfies and go on coffee meets, are you here? If picking up women in bars is easier, do that. If not, do what you need to do to get what you want, or go without."Because im at work at the moment lol and have you told your mum and dad and everyone you knoe you are on hear | |||
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"But its not casual sex is it. You have to write a essay. Take loads of selfys meet for a coffee and then maybe if your Lucky you may get laid. what the f***s casual about that? You don't have to remember their birthday. If you pick a girl up in a bar. You dont even have to remember her name lol So do that then if it suits you better. Bitterness isn't appealing. As for remembering my name, some of my meets never know my real name.
Why hide your identity. Are you really that ashamed of what you are doing?
I'm not ashamed of it at all but, like I said, this is casual sex. No strings.
Why do they need to know my name? Especially since you said when picking a woman up in a bar you don't have to remember her name like it's a good thing.
If you don't want the hassle of remembering a name, does it matter if you never know it? no but I wouldnt make up a name thats just weird. If your that ashamed then you shouldn't do it
I'm showing my face in my avatar. How do you equate that to being ashamed exactly?!
A lot of people use an initial or a different name on here - including men - until they know someone. Some never give their real name. Some enjoy the anonymous encounters.
Taking steps to protect ones privacy and safety is not the same as being ashamed. Perhaps you've never considered how a single woman might feel meeting a stranger and the risk she might be taking. Of course she'll want to take steps to minimise that risk.
People get to use the site and conduct their meets the way they wish, not how you think they should.
Why if you think everyone here is a fake and that you have to write essays and take selfies and go on coffee meets, are you here? If picking up women in bars is easier, do that. If not, do what you need to do to get what you want, or go without.
Ok so your parents know your on hear. I take it you havr told your freinds and colleges then? "Have you?
Why would I announce details of my private life to all and sundry. If I was monogamous I wouldn't so why would you think swingers should? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"But its not casual sex is it. You have to write a essay. Take loads of selfys meet for a coffee and then maybe if your Lucky you may get laid. what the f***s casual about that? You don't have to remember their birthday. If you pick a girl up in a bar. You dont even have to remember her name lol So do that then if it suits you better. Bitterness isn't appealing. As for remembering my name, some of my meets never know my real name.
Why hide your identity. Are you really that ashamed of what you are doing?
I'm not ashamed of it at all but, like I said, this is casual sex. No strings.
Why do they need to know my name? Especially since you said when picking a woman up in a bar you don't have to remember her name like it's a good thing.
If you don't want the hassle of remembering a name, does it matter if you never know it? no but I wouldnt make up a name thats just weird. If your that ashamed then you shouldn't do it
I'm showing my face in my avatar. How do you equate that to being ashamed exactly?!
A lot of people use an initial or a different name on here - including men - until they know someone. Some never give their real name. Some enjoy the anonymous encounters.
Taking steps to protect ones privacy and safety is not the same as being ashamed. Perhaps you've never considered how a single woman might feel meeting a stranger and the risk she might be taking. Of course she'll want to take steps to minimise that risk.
People get to use the site and conduct their meets the way they wish, not how you think they should.
Why if you think everyone here is a fake and that you have to write essays and take selfies and go on coffee meets, are you here? If picking up women in bars is easier, do that. If not, do what you need to do to get what you want, or go without.
Ok so your parents know your on hear. I take it you havr told your freinds and colleges then? "all these questions you are posing to a single woman, unless you can answer them positively, you have no right to ask them. do your friends and family know you are on here? do you use your real name? why isnt your face on your profile, in fact, why is your profile hidden? are you ashamed of what you do? | |||
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" Can you not see that asking people to examine how they feel is not the same as asserting that anyone should? Nobody asserted that you should do anything. " Respect and measuring respect is a societal norm, this includes self respect. This norm has become an expectation. Society has indoctrinated almost every women into questioning her self respect if she's promiscuous never mind on a swingers website! So people outside swinging have already decided that those inside the scene are lacking in self respect (generalisation). If swinging was a societal norm the question of self respect would never come up. My opinion is that anyone who is part of, understands and accepts this lifestyle would not see a conflict with it and self respect. | |||
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