FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Thanks but no thanks
Thanks but no thanks
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
When sending some one a message ( after reading there profile) and you match what they are looking for ... Do they then read your message then not reply.... Surely it's polite to say thanks but no thanks after all we took the the time to read there profile and send a message |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"When sending some one a message ( after reading there profile) and you match what they are looking for ... Do they then read your message then not reply.... Surely it's polite to say thanks but no thanks after all we took the the time to read there profile and send a message "
A no reply is a thanks but no thanks, 
I console myself with the thought 'i was out of their league '  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
But why? What's wrong with me? Are you sure? I'm the best you'll have!
Or for those unable to take rejection....
Like I'd want to fuck a fatty anyway! You've shaghed the rest of the site, why not me? You shouldn't be so picky, you ain't that sexy!
That is why some choose not to send that makes but no thanks emails! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"But why? What's wrong with me? Are you sure? I'm the best you'll have!
Or for those unable to take rejection....
Like I'd want to fuck a fatty anyway! You've shaghed the rest of the site, why not me? You shouldn't be so picky, you ain't that sexy!
That is why some choose not to send that makes but no thanks emails!"
what is wrong with .. Thanks for the message but your not what we are looking for .... A little politeness goes a long way |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
to be honest if a get a no reply it doesn't bother me at all, some folks get so many messages that they'd spend all day replying with no thanks, i do like to think i've put enough effort in to get a reply and most do, i've never understood why people send nasty messages back but i guess thats because i'm not a dickhead lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"But why? What's wrong with me? Are you sure? I'm the best you'll have!
Or for those unable to take rejection....
Like I'd want to fuck a fatty anyway! You've shaghed the rest of the site, why not me? You shouldn't be so picky, you ain't that sexy!
That is why some choose not to send that makes but no thanks emails! what is wrong with .. Thanks for the message but your not what we are looking for .... A little politeness goes a long way "
Why is it impolite to not reply?
You say politeness goes a long way but what does a thamks but no thanks really achieve? The insistance of needing a reply is somewhat needy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"But why? What's wrong with me? Are you sure? I'm the best you'll have!
Or for those unable to take rejection....
Like I'd want to fuck a fatty anyway! You've shaghed the rest of the site, why not me? You shouldn't be so picky, you ain't that sexy!
That is why some choose not to send that makes but no thanks emails!"
This I used to answer all mail but have had the above too often now |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"But why? What's wrong with me? Are you sure? I'm the best you'll have!
Or for those unable to take rejection....
Like I'd want to fuck a fatty anyway! You've shaghed the rest of the site, why not me? You shouldn't be so picky, you ain't that sexy!
That is why some choose not to send that makes but no thanks emails! what is wrong with .. Thanks for the message but your not what we are looking for .... A little politeness goes a long way "
That's the point Evie was making. Some respond to a polite no thanks with a strop or downright insults.
And a point from me: it's amazing how many claim to have read my profile and to match all my preferences and when I look at their details they really really don'.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"But why? What's wrong with me? Are you sure? I'm the best you'll have!
Or for those unable to take rejection....
Like I'd want to fuck a fatty anyway! You've shaghed the rest of the site, why not me? You shouldn't be so picky, you ain't that sexy!
That is why some choose not to send that makes but no thanks emails! what is wrong with .. Thanks for the message but your not what we are looking for .... A little politeness goes a long way
Why is it impolite to not reply?
You say politeness goes a long way but what does a thamks but no thanks really achieve? The insistance of needing a reply is somewhat needy"
you always get one |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What would thanks but no thanks tell you that a no reply doesn't? Outcome is the same - no meet."
I for one have had the polite thanks but no thanks as I was not of.interest to them. However I subsequently met said couple at a later date in a club situation and that courtesy made things cool for all.
Treating folk how I like to be treated is not something I will change anytime.soon |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If someone has obviously read my profile, matches what I'm looking for and been good enough to send a pic, then I will always answer. Chancers who mail willy nilly get deleted!! Had enough of the why not and I can travell to you and London/Manchester/Glasgow and even Dublin aren't that far really |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If someone has obviously read my profile, matches what I'm looking for and been good enough to send a pic, then I will always answer. Chancers who mail willy nilly get deleted!! Had enough of the why not and I can travell to you and London/Manchester/Glasgow and even Dublin aren't that far really "
it's the ones that don't reply with a thanks but no thanks after people make the effort to read the profile and attach a picture that grinds my gears |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If someone has obviously read my profile, matches what I'm looking for and been good enough to send a pic, then I will always answer. Chancers who mail willy nilly get deleted!! Had enough of the why not and I can travell to you and London/Manchester/Glasgow and even Dublin aren't that far really it's the ones that don't reply with a thanks but no thanks after people make the effort to read the profile and attach a picture that grinds my gears "
The people that grind your gears should be the ones who can't take a thanks but no thanks for what it is rather than then sending further messages. They are to blame for people not replying. Me included. I used to reply to everyone. Not any more. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We have stopped replying to everyone. If we put a meet on we get a lot of messages and I really can't be bothered replying to half of them when they don't match what we are looking for or haven't read our profile. We are on here to enjoy ourselves and sending a load of thanks but no thanks messages isn't fun and doesn't change the outcome. We still don't want to meet them and a no reply puts that across to them.
If you need a thanks but no thanks message it does seem a bit needy as a previous poster has said. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Plus how do you know that you match what they are looking for. Just because you think you match what is on there profile it doesn't mean you actually do.
We have a few things that we look for or avoid which we don't put on our profile. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When sending some one a message ( after reading there profile) and you match what they are looking for ... Do they then read your message then not reply.... Surely it's polite to say thanks but no thanks after all we took the the time to read there profile and send a message "
"Thanks but no thanks " is a grean light to some as you get asked
Why not?
But why not?
Go on give me a try.
But why not? and on and on and on till you have to block. No reply = not interested its that simple. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"If someone has obviously read my profile, matches what I'm looking for and been good enough to send a pic, then I will always answer. Chancers who mail willy nilly get deleted!! Had enough of the why not and I can travell to you and London/Manchester/Glasgow and even Dublin aren't that far really it's the ones that don't reply with a thanks but no thanks after people make the effort to read the profile and attach a picture that grinds my gears "
You can only control the controllables
How you use the sites features is in your control how others choosse to use the site isn t,
Have fun with the people that do reply positively to you, simples, |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
how is it impolite not to converse with people you have no interest in, when it seems its not impolite to send an unsolicited message to someone?
i wouldnt talk to someone in the street that hasnt shown me any interest |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
Some people will reply with a thanks but no thanks type message and some won't. We will in general if it's clear that someone has taken the time to read our profile and we very rarely get any nasty replies back.
We always take a no reply as a not interested.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ha ha ha this thread comes up so often and always amuses me.
Firstly you get the people who whine about not getting replies to their messages, get over it and move on.
Then you get the people who vigorously defend their right to ignore messages, get over yourselves. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If someone has obviously read my profile, matches what I'm looking for and been good enough to send a pic, then I will always answer. Chancers who mail willy nilly get deleted!! Had enough of the why not and I can travell to you and London/Manchester/Glasgow and even Dublin aren't that far really it's the ones that don't reply with a thanks but no thanks after people make the effort to read the profile and attach a picture that grinds my gears
The people that grind your gears should be the ones who can't take a thanks but no thanks for what it is rather than then sending further messages. They are to blame for people not replying. Me included. I used to reply to everyone. Not any more. "
Exactly. The sad fact is that the best way to avoid further messages containing pestering or abuse is to delete without replying. For the recipient it is the action LEAST likely to lead to ABUSE. Replying with 'Thanks but no thanks' is the MOST likely to lead to ABUSE. Do you not see? There is a strong incentive NOT to reply in the negative.
I try to answer everyone who seems polite and reasonable and within my stated criteria, but sadly after an abusive reply sometimes I just don't feel like taking the risk! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
well i suppose Thats the price you pay ....therz nothing else to guess now...-quick let leave before the lights come on ...cause then you dont have to see..no you dont have to see wit you've done.,.. x X X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A no reply is a thanks but no thanks. You was the one to picked to mail and read there profile .. maybe they have no time to sit wright 100s of letters back.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"it's the ones that don't reply with a thanks but no thanks after people make the effort to read the profile and attach a picture that grinds my gears "
Yeah..... massive effort there.....
You sound like you are not one of the couples \ single fems who get over 100 messages a day.... would you REALLY reply to everyone of you did get a hundred messages a day ?
I don't think you would, otherwise being on the site would be more a chore admin role than looking for fun 
Looks like you'll just have to put up with your gears being grinded  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
And have you not seen here people wright say no thanks then get letters back saying nasty things ... so why should people open themselves to all that. Best say nothing at times. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I used to reply to pretty much all my mail if not interested with this;
"Thanks very much for taking the time to message but I'm sorry, you're not what I'm looking for on here at this time. Take care and have fun "
Some replies to this were;
"Go f*ck yourself"
"Get out of your own ass, you're not all that"
"You're not my type, just thought you'd be an easy shag"
I could go on and on. People like this are pathetic and have no respect or self confidence. This is why I and many others just don't reply. It spoils it for the genuine people who can take a polite no thanks with maturity and respect but its life on here unfortunately. I'm not here to be verbally abused so not replying is a no thanks from me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I used to reply to pretty much all my mail if not interested with this;
"Thanks very much for taking the time to message but I'm sorry, you're not what I'm looking for on here at this time. Take care and have fun "
Some replies to this were;
"Go f*ck yourself"
"Get out of your own ass, you're not all that"
"You're not my type, just thought you'd be an easy shag"
I could go on and on. People like this are pathetic and have no respect or self confidence. This is why I and many others just don't reply. It spoils it for the genuine people who can take a polite no thanks with maturity and respect but its life on here unfortunately. I'm not here to be verbally abused so not replying is a no thanks from me."
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"how is it impolite not to converse with people you have no interest in, when it seems its not impolite to send an unsolicited message to someone?
i wouldnt talk to someone in the street that hasnt shown me any interest"
Ruby |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When sending some one a message ( after reading there profile) and you match what they are looking for ... Do they then read your message then not reply.... Surely it's polite to say thanks but no thanks after all we took the the time to read there profile and send a message
A no reply is a thanks but no thanks,
I console myself with the thought 'i was out of their league ' "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Oh, and my answer is you don't getto decide how other people spend their time. Your time is yours to manage; their time is theirs.
If you decide to use your time writing a message it does not entitle you to dictate or expect that they should use their time sending one back.
If you hadn't wanted to message them, you wouldn't have. They get the same choice. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"But why? What's wrong with me? Are you sure? I'm the best you'll have!
Or for those unable to take rejection....
Like I'd want to fuck a fatty anyway! You've shaghed the rest of the site, why not me? You shouldn't be so picky, you ain't that sexy!
That is why some choose not to send that makes but no thanks emails! what is wrong with .. Thanks for the message but your not what we are looking for .... A little politeness goes a long way "
whhhooooooooooooooosssssshhhhhhh  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"But why? What's wrong with me? Are you sure? I'm the best you'll have!
Or for those unable to take rejection....
Like I'd want to fuck a fatty anyway! You've shaghed the rest of the site, why not me? You shouldn't be so picky, you ain't that sexy!
That is why some choose not to send that makes but no thanks emails! what is wrong with .. Thanks for the message but your not what we are looking for .... A little politeness goes a long way
Why is it impolite to not reply?
You say politeness goes a long way but what does a thamks but no thanks really achieve? The insistance of needing a reply is somewhat needy you always get one "
I don't get the point you are making? And you still haven't explained why you feel entitled to one or why those that choose not to message you are impolite? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"But why? What's wrong with me? Are you sure? I'm the best you'll have!
Or for those unable to take rejection....
Like I'd want to fuck a fatty anyway! You've shaghed the rest of the site, why not me? You shouldn't be so picky, you ain't that sexy!
That is why some choose not to send that makes but no thanks emails! what is wrong with .. Thanks for the message but your not what we are looking for .... A little politeness goes a long way "
I used to say that too - only to get a response like 'why, what are you looking for?' as if that would make a difference.
Now I answer only those who have evidently taken care over messages with a 'no thank you' if I am not interested.
Furthermore, the idea that 'a little politeness goes a long way' makes no sense since these are total strangers I will never meet - so what 'long way' do I have to worry about? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
if we get a thanks but no thanks we note it and also reply with a thanks for replying - manners cost nothing - and we always send a message rather than not reply - so far no nasty messages back at us - |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
People just need to be adult about it, a no reply is obviously a no thanks, you dont have to be a brainbox to figure that one out. A message serves no purpose does it.
And all this 'a polite no goes a long way' is rubbish too, people are just miffed that the person they messaged didn't reply and therefore a meet won't take place. Its easier to pass blame onto others by calling them rude than accept its a no.
I have never once compained about no replies, its not anything important to passfeel aggrieved by |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Plus how do you know that you match what they are looking for. Just because you think you match what is on there profile it doesn't mean you actually do.
We have a few things that we look for or avoid which we don't put on our profile. "
This!
When I was meeting I had on my profile if they didn't match what I was looking for there would be no reply. Anyone who did but I didn't want to meet for whatever reason always got a response.
Never received a nasty reply. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The only time I reply with "thanks but no thanks" is when I feel the sender has made an effort, otherwise I just delete... I'm not here to waste time on replying to every scrap of mail I get, especially if I ain't interested. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The only time I reply with "thanks but no thanks" is when I feel the sender has made an effort, otherwise I just delete... I'm not here to waste time on replying to every scrap of mail I get, especially if I ain't interested."
Yeh this exactly. I used to try and reply to every message. Oh how quick I found out that was impossible and unnecessary |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"if we get a thanks but no thanks we note it and also reply with a thanks for replying - manners cost nothing - and we always send a message rather than not reply - so far no nasty messages back at us - "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The only time I reply with "thanks but no thanks" is when I feel the sender has made an effort, otherwise I just delete... I'm not here to waste time on replying to every scrap of mail I get, especially if I ain't interested."
This is our stance too. My Iissue with people whinging about not getting a reply is often what they feel is a well written message quite simply isn't. And when they say we match in what we are looking for often the only common factor we can see is being a couple. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"When sending some one a message ( after reading there profile) and you match what they are looking for ... Do they then read your message then not reply.... Surely it's polite to say thanks but no thanks after all we took the the time to read there profile and send a message "
I make a point of putting certain criteria on my profile yet still get messages from people who don't meet this criteria. So they either have not read my message or completely ignored what I had taken the time and effort to write - in those cases I don't respond. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
