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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Im dying... Help!  "
For fuck sake call yourself a bi.
Pop on a beautiful silk robe, hand embroidered slippers and get yourself to A&E.
Have Ebola at least.
Never, ever, ever underplay something |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Im dying... Help!
For fuck sake call yourself a bi.
Pop on a beautiful silk robe, hand embroidered slippers and get yourself to A&E.
Have Ebola at least.
Never, ever, ever underplay something"
Bitch! |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Im dying... Help!
For fuck sake call yourself a bi.
Pop on a beautiful silk robe, hand embroidered slippers and get yourself to A&E.
Have Ebola at least.
Never, ever, ever underplay something
Bitch! "
  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The facts !
Man Flu
1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable
scientific fact*.
*(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)
2. Man-Flu is not 'just a cold'. It is a condition so severe that the
germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of
people living in the rainforest. And probably loads of monkeys too.
3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is
medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' - which, if a man caught,
he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half
and compete in all other kinds of manly activities.
4. Men do not 'moan' when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary
groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain
they are in..
5. Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if their
simple requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea or coffee are
met. Is that really so much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done
it
6. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots
of other things. (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).
7. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed
and come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful
condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are
the greatest heroes this country has ever known.
8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonising symptoms of full
blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head
literally fell off.
9. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than Rambo, Batman and The A-Team
combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting 'lady medicines'
like Lemsip, so don't bother trying to force them on a victim of
Man-Flu.
10. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just lying around
enjoying 'Diagnosis Murder' it is a commonly recognised medical fact
that the exact pitch and frequency of Dick Van Dyke's voice has
remarkable soothing powers.
Every minute in this country one man is struck down by Man-Flu. Women,
all we ask is that each of you offers them a cup of tea or coffee, some
kind words and your undivided attention and care. Then maybe, just
maybe, we'll beat this monstrous disease together.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The facts !
Man Flu
1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable
scientific fact*.
*(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)
2. Man-Flu is not 'just a cold'. It is a condition so severe that the
germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of
people living in the rainforest. And probably loads of monkeys too.
3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is
medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' - which, if a man caught,
he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half
and compete in all other kinds of manly activities.
4. Men do not 'moan' when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary
groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain
they are in..
5. Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if their
simple requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea or coffee are
met. Is that really so much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done
it
6. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots
of other things. (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).
7. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed
and come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful
condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are
the greatest heroes this country has ever known.
8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonising symptoms of full
blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head
literally fell off.
9. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than Rambo, Batman and The A-Team
combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting 'lady medicines'
like Lemsip, so don't bother trying to force them on a victim of
Man-Flu.
10. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just lying around
enjoying 'Diagnosis Murder' it is a commonly recognised medical fact
that the exact pitch and frequency of Dick Van Dyke's voice has
remarkable soothing powers.
Every minute in this country one man is struck down by Man-Flu. Women,
all we ask is that each of you offers them a cup of tea or coffee, some
kind words and your undivided attention and care. Then maybe, just
maybe, we'll beat this monstrous disease together.
"
Let me guess - written by a man?   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The facts !
Man Flu
1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable
scientific fact*.
*(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)
2. Man-Flu is not 'just a cold'. It is a condition so severe that the
germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of
people living in the rainforest. And probably loads of monkeys too.
3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is
medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' - which, if a man caught,
he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half
and compete in all other kinds of manly activities.
4. Men do not 'moan' when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary
groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain
they are in..
5. Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if their
simple requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea or coffee are
met. Is that really so much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done
it
6. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots
of other things. (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).
7. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed
and come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful
condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are
the greatest heroes this country has ever known.
8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonising symptoms of full
blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head
literally fell off.
9. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than Rambo, Batman and The A-Team
combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting 'lady medicines'
like Lemsip, so don't bother trying to force them on a victim of
Man-Flu.
10. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just lying around
enjoying 'Diagnosis Murder' it is a commonly recognised medical fact
that the exact pitch and frequency of Dick Van Dyke's voice has
remarkable soothing powers.
Every minute in this country one man is struck down by Man-Flu. Women,
all we ask is that each of you offers them a cup of tea or coffee, some
kind words and your undivided attention and care. Then maybe, just
maybe, we'll beat this monstrous disease together.
"
Great post!
But you forgot the 'oh so important other bit' that women of the world can do to relieve the poor male sufferers of Man Flu.
The aid they can give with the alleviation of the build up of pressure in a mans body that occurs when stricken.
*otherwise known as a blow job!   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The facts !
Man Flu
1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable
scientific fact*.
*(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)
2. Man-Flu is not 'just a cold'. It is a condition so severe that the
germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of
people living in the rainforest. And probably loads of monkeys too.
3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is
medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' - which, if a man caught,
he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half
and compete in all other kinds of manly activities.
4. Men do not 'moan' when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary
groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain
they are in..
5. Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if their
simple requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea or coffee are
met. Is that really so much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done
it
6. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots
of other things. (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).
7. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed
and come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful
condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are
the greatest heroes this country has ever known.
8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonising symptoms of full
blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head
literally fell off.
9. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than Rambo, Batman and The A-Team
combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting 'lady medicines'
like Lemsip, so don't bother trying to force them on a victim of
Man-Flu.
10. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just lying around
enjoying 'Diagnosis Murder' it is a commonly recognised medical fact
that the exact pitch and frequency of Dick Van Dyke's voice has
remarkable soothing powers.
Every minute in this country one man is struck down by Man-Flu. Women,
all we ask is that each of you offers them a cup of tea or coffee, some
kind words and your undivided attention and care. Then maybe, just
maybe, we'll beat this monstrous disease together.
"
Hahahaha 
It's funny because it's true!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
why do men still want sex even when they're sick and dying??
It's the last thing I think about when I'm ill.
The first thing being snuggled up in bed!
Or am I alone on that one?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The facts !
Man Flu
1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable
scientific fact*.
*(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)
2. Man-Flu is not 'just a cold'. It is a condition so severe that the
germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of
people living in the rainforest. And probably loads of monkeys too.
3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is
medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' - which, if a man caught,
he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half
and compete in all other kinds of manly activities.
4. Men do not 'moan' when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary
groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain
they are in..
5. Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if their
simple requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea or coffee are
met. Is that really so much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done
it
6. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots
of other things. (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).
7. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed
and come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful
condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are
the greatest heroes this country has ever known.
8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonising symptoms of full
blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head
literally fell off.
9. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than Rambo, Batman and The A-Team
combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting 'lady medicines'
like Lemsip, so don't bother trying to force them on a victim of
Man-Flu.
10. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just lying around
enjoying 'Diagnosis Murder' it is a commonly recognised medical fact
that the exact pitch and frequency of Dick Van Dyke's voice has
remarkable soothing powers.
Every minute in this country one man is struck down by Man-Flu. Women,
all we ask is that each of you offers them a cup of tea or coffee, some
kind words and your undivided attention and care. Then maybe, just
maybe, we'll beat this monstrous disease together.
Let me guess - written by a man? "
Of course it was written by a man... its scientific research. Women only write about knitting patterns and kittens. |
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