Well the time has come for my little man to spend the first night at his dad's house tonight, I've been ok about it so far but now the time is drawing near for me to collect him from nursery, pack his bag and send him off till tomorrow I'm starting to freak out.
He loves his dad (and for those of you that remember my previous posts on the subject will know we have had a rocky couple of years since we split up, but things are better now) and I've explained to him that he's going to daddy's to sleep tonight and will be back with me tomorrow etc and he's ok about it so far.
My problem is that the exs girlfriend (who seems nice enough) has a daughter who my lad gets on with fine, she is about 8 months older and they will be sharing a room, again that's fine, but the routine the girls has is totally different. They have dinner at 4! My boy doesnt even have his lunch till 1 and dinner at 6 so he won't be hungry at 4. Then they send the girl off to her room at about 6 with a DVD on a timer till she falls asleep. And my ex said that that my lad will do the same, I know from experience that he will no way fall asleep with a DVD on so he's gonna be late to bed, he will be shattered tomorrow and miserable. I feel so sorry for him. I know he has to spend time with his dad so compromises are going to have to be made but surely they should meet in the middle.
My lad loves his bedtime story and has one every night, but not tonight.
I'm probably being totally unreasonable and worrying unnecessarily.
Just needed to get it all out. I know my mum (who is a real worrier) will make me feel worse if I tell her coz she is terrible worrying so I'm just venting to you lot!!! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My daughter also has a routine for bedtime, when we went away recently i thought she's not going to comply and play up.. but it turned out that through all the excitement and change she was just tired and her natural body clock had kicked in.. she went to sleep with no problems at all.
with regards to dinner being at 4pm WTF?! lol.. wayyyy too early.
Could your ex not offer your son some _ruit or a yoghurt if he gets peckish later on? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well the time has come for my little man to spend the first night at his dad's house tonight, I've been ok about it so far but now the time is drawing near for me to collect him from nursery, pack his bag and send him off till tomorrow I'm starting to freak out.
He loves his dad (and for those of you that remember my previous posts on the subject will know we have had a rocky couple of years since we split up, but things are better now) and I've explained to him that he's going to daddy's to sleep tonight and will be back with me tomorrow etc and he's ok about it so far.
My problem is that the exs girlfriend (who seems nice enough) has a daughter who my lad gets on with fine, she is about 8 months older and they will be sharing a room, again that's fine, but the routine the girls has is totally different. They have dinner at 4! My boy doesnt even have his lunch till 1 and dinner at 6 so he won't be hungry at 4. Then they send the girl off to her room at about 6 with a DVD on a timer till she falls asleep. And my ex said that that my lad will do the same, I know from experience that he will no way fall asleep with a DVD on so he's gonna be late to bed, he will be shattered tomorrow and miserable. I feel so sorry for him. I know he has to spend time with his dad so compromises are going to have to be made but surely they should meet in the middle.
My lad loves his bedtime story and has one every night, but not tonight.
I'm probably being totally unreasonable and worrying unnecessarily.
Just needed to get it all out. I know my mum (who is a real worrier) will make me feel worse if I tell her coz she is terrible worrying so I'm just venting to you lot!!! Xx "
Depending on how often he is seeing his daddy, I'd just wait and see until you get him back tomorrow, see what his behaviour is like, tiredness, mood etc and if it really concerns you talk to you're ex about it. Kids can be pretty adaptable. Most of all try and enjoy you time  |
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"My daughter also has a routine for bedtime, when we went away recently i thought she's not going to comply and play up.. but it turned out that through all the excitement and change she was just tired and her natural body clock had kicked in.. she went to sleep with no problems at all.
with regards to dinner being at 4pm WTF?! lol.. wayyyy too early.
Could your ex not offer your son some _ruit or a yoghurt if he gets peckish later on? "
I'm gonna pack him a _ruit pouch that he likes and tell him to give it him before he goes to bed.
Normally he has a 45 min power nap once he gets home from nursery but I'm not gonna let him today in the hope that he's tired enough to just crash out. X |
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"Well the time has come for my little man to spend the first night at his dad's house tonight, I've been ok about it so far but now the time is drawing near for me to collect him from nursery, pack his bag and send him off till tomorrow I'm starting to freak out.
He loves his dad (and for those of you that remember my previous posts on the subject will know we have had a rocky couple of years since we split up, but things are better now) and I've explained to him that he's going to daddy's to sleep tonight and will be back with me tomorrow etc and he's ok about it so far.
My problem is that the exs girlfriend (who seems nice enough) has a daughter who my lad gets on with fine, she is about 8 months older and they will be sharing a room, again that's fine, but the routine the girls has is totally different. They have dinner at 4! My boy doesnt even have his lunch till 1 and dinner at 6 so he won't be hungry at 4. Then they send the girl off to her room at about 6 with a DVD on a timer till she falls asleep. And my ex said that that my lad will do the same, I know from experience that he will no way fall asleep with a DVD on so he's gonna be late to bed, he will be shattered tomorrow and miserable. I feel so sorry for him. I know he has to spend time with his dad so compromises are going to have to be made but surely they should meet in the middle.
My lad loves his bedtime story and has one every night, but not tonight.
I'm probably being totally unreasonable and worrying unnecessarily.
Just needed to get it all out. I know my mum (who is a real worrier) will make me feel worse if I tell her coz she is terrible worrying so I'm just venting to you lot!!! Xx
Depending on how often he is seeing his daddy, I'd just wait and see until you get him back tomorrow, see what his behaviour is like, tiredness, mood etc and if it really concerns you talk to you're ex about it. Kids can be pretty adaptable. Most of all try and enjoy you time "
That's what I'm trying to do but I keep getting into a pickle when I think about him being upset  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well the time has come for my little man to spend the first night at his dad's house tonight, I've been ok about it so far but now the time is drawing near for me to collect him from nursery, pack his bag and send him off till tomorrow I'm starting to freak out.
He loves his dad (and for those of you that remember my previous posts on the subject will know we have had a rocky couple of years since we split up, but things are better now) and I've explained to him that he's going to daddy's to sleep tonight and will be back with me tomorrow etc and he's ok about it so far.
My problem is that the exs girlfriend (who seems nice enough) has a daughter who my lad gets on with fine, she is about 8 months older and they will be sharing a room, again that's fine, but the routine the girls has is totally different. They have dinner at 4! My boy doesnt even have his lunch till 1 and dinner at 6 so he won't be hungry at 4. Then they send the girl off to her room at about 6 with a DVD on a timer till she falls asleep. And my ex said that that my lad will do the same, I know from experience that he will no way fall asleep with a DVD on so he's gonna be late to bed, he will be shattered tomorrow and miserable. I feel so sorry for him. I know he has to spend time with his dad so compromises are going to have to be made but surely they should meet in the middle.
My lad loves his bedtime story and has one every night, but not tonight.
I'm probably being totally unreasonable and worrying unnecessarily.
Just needed to get it all out. I know my mum (who is a real worrier) will make me feel worse if I tell her coz she is terrible worrying so I'm just venting to you lot!!! Xx
Depending on how often he is seeing his daddy, I'd just wait and see until you get him back tomorrow, see what his behaviour is like, tiredness, mood etc and if it really concerns you talk to you're ex about it. Kids can be pretty adaptable. Most of all try and enjoy you time
That's what I'm trying to do but I keep getting into a pickle when I think about him being upset "
Obviously you know you're son better than anyone, but he might not get upset kids are very good at picking up vibes from there parents, try not to let him see you're worried, easier said than done I know. I would suggest maybe giving him a call before bed time if you are that worried x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My daughter also has a routine for bedtime, when we went away recently i thought she's not going to comply and play up.. but it turned out that through all the excitement and change she was just tired and her natural body clock had kicked in.. she went to sleep with no problems at all.
with regards to dinner being at 4pm WTF?! lol.. wayyyy too early.
Could your ex not offer your son some _ruit or a yoghurt if he gets peckish later on?
I'm gonna pack him a _ruit pouch that he likes and tell him to give it him before he goes to bed.
Normally he has a 45 min power nap once he gets home from nursery but I'm not gonna let him today in the hope that he's tired enough to just crash out. X"
I would let him have his nap, sometimes kids who go without nap get overtired and then have problems sleeping. |
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I feel for you I really do. Kids are very resilient and I am sure he will adjust to the new routine.
This is only the first visit - and it is important that the full time child has her routine too . I am sure you and your ex will work out a way for harmony
Absolute respect to you for agreeing to this despite your concerns. By the sounds of it, you are more stressed than your son is and this is perfectly normal.
Hugs xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Similar issues here. Stay cheerful in front of the little guy. Maybe tell him what will happen (bedtime no story etc) but say it like it's an exciting adventure. Also maybe a phone chat before bedtime- probably for you more than him!
See how he is tomorrow. Hope it goes ok. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He's gone.
I'm in tears.
This first one will be the worst I'm sure it'll get easier x "
It will get easier, but it doesn't mean you will stop missing him mine has been going to his dads every other weekend since the age of 2 1/2 and some weekends I miss him like crazy x |
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By *Kgirl80Woman
over a year ago
South Coast |
"Just had a message saying he's fast asleep so I can attempt to relax now.  "
 so pleased he's settled and your mind is at rest (ish!) the first one is always the hardest and I promise it gets easier x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh HottieBottie! You are lovely! I'm sure he'll be fine! Chill,make the most of a little rest and look forward to his little face lighting up when he sees you tomorrow! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Round to hotties for a party then....
Try and keep yourself occupied and enjoy your little bit of hottie time!
It's so plain to see that your a fantastic mum who has her sons best interred at heart!
Hugs to you sweetie  |
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"Round to hotties for a party then....
Try and keep yourself occupied and enjoy your little bit of hottie time!
It's so plain to see that your a fantastic mum who has her sons best interred at heart!
Hugs to you sweetie "
Awwwwwww thanks xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Round to hotties for a party then....
Try and keep yourself occupied and enjoy your little bit of hottie time!
It's so plain to see that your a fantastic mum who has her sons best interest at heart!
Hugs to you sweetie "
Sorry iPhone is deciding what words to use not me  |
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On behalf of the dads who have their children... Stop worrying woman!
Seriously though, he'll be fine. As others have said children are extremely adaptable and like my ex wife, there can sometimes be unnecessary, but understandable, worry on the mother's part.
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"On behalf of the dads who have their children... Stop worrying woman!
Seriously though, he'll be fine. As others have said children are extremely adaptable and like my ex wife, there can sometimes be unnecessary, but understandable, worry on the mother's part.
"
It's due to lots of things that have happened in the past not just worrying for no reason, lol, too much to go into on here, I just hope that my ex has finally sorted himself out and is stable enough to have his son on a regular basis as I know it's good for him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I miss my daughter when she goes back to her mums on a sunday night and her mum misses her when she stays the weekend. Its natural to worry until you get use to the situation. She had a total melt down this summer when my daughter stayed at mine for a week and was having such a good time she was an hour late in skyping her. Was all sorted in the end but made me pretty angry with my ex the way she went on.
Just wait until the sleep overs start and you have to try to get a bunch of gigling kids, all with different bedtime routines, to go to sleep |
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"On behalf of the dads who have their children... Stop worrying woman!
Seriously though, he'll be fine. As others have said children are extremely adaptable and like my ex wife, there can sometimes be unnecessary, but understandable, worry on the mother's part.
It's due to lots of things that have happened in the past not just worrying for no reason, lol, too much to go into on here, I just hope that my ex has finally sorted himself out and is stable enough to have his son on a regular basis as I know it's good for him. "
Ahhh, I understand now. Maybe not so unnecessary after all |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
"On behalf of the dads who have their children... Stop worrying woman!
Seriously though, he'll be fine. As others have said children are extremely adaptable and like my ex wife, there can sometimes be unnecessary, but understandable, worry on the mother's part.
"
Some dads do not care what is best for their kids and put their kids from a previous relationship first. For those that do care..great.
My youngest going to his dads has medically caused problems. He has gone directly again doctors advice.
To thise thst do care...good on ya xxx |
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