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Being a Man
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"I learnt at an early age how to think like a man.... "That's not what I mean. I suppose a Saturday evening isn't the best time to try and engage men in a thread about being men. | |||
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"I've had man flu a few times. Dying I was. Does that count ? "You deserve the mans award | |||
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"Shall I start a thread on what it means to be a woman in 2014 and leave it to the men to answer? " Oh go on | |||
"Shall I start a thread on what it means to be a woman in 2014 and leave it to the men to answer? " It's harder to be a woman  | |||
"I learnt at an early age how to think like a man.... "In all my experience men don't think they act on impulse lol | |||
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"Shall I start a thread on what it means to be a woman in 2014 and leave it to the men to answer? " It might be the only way! Thank you for being male and posting. | |||
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"Shall I start a thread on what it means to be a woman in 2014 and leave it to the men to answer? It's harder to be a woman "I don't know we are pretty hard to put up with at times | |||
"Im a man and its sat nite and im here.kids tucked up in bed after fun day.being a man to me is being a dad.and who learnt me that.it was my own dad when he fucked off"  | |||
"I learnt at an early age how to think like a man....
In all my experience men don't think they act on impulse lol"Thank you, another male. Do you act on impulse or think before you act? | |||
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"Shall I start a thread on what it means to be a woman in 2014 and leave it to the men to answer? It's harder to be a woman
I don't know we are pretty hard to put up with at times "We are yes but still they come back for more, hopefully | |||
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"Sometimes its hard to be a woman " What giving all your love to just one man??? | |||
"I learnt at an early age how to think like a man....
In all my experience men don't think they act on impulse lol
Thank you, another male.
Do you act on impulse or think before you act?"According to female rules males are not allowed to think you should know this already as you make the rules | |||
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"Sometimes its hard to be a woman What giving all your love to just one man??? "and if you love him, be proud of him. After all he's just a man | |||
"Im a man and its sat nite and im here.kids tucked up in bed after fun day.being a man to me is being a dad.and who learnt me that.it was my own dad when he fucked off" Thank you. It was this song that made me think about this thread: My child arrived just the other day He came to the world in the usual way But there were planes to catch and bills to pay He learned to walk while I was away And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad You know I'm gonna be like you" And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man on the moon When you comin' home dad? I don't know when, but we'll get together then son You know we'll have a good time then My son turned ten just the other day He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok" And he walked away but his smile never dimmed And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah You know I'm gonna be like him" And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man on the moon When you comin' home son? I don't know when, but we'll get together then son You know we'll have a good time then Well, he came home from college just the other day So much like a man I just had to say "Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?" He shook his head and said with a smile "What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys See you later, can I have them please?" And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man on the moon When you comin' home son? I don't know when, but we'll get together then son You know we'll have a good time then I've long since retired, my son's moved away I called him up just the other day I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind" He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad It's been sure nice talking to you" And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me He'd grown up just like me My boy was just like me And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man on the moon When you comin' home son? I don't know when, but we'll get together then son You know we'll have a good time then | |||
"Shall I start a thread on what it means to be a woman in 2014 and leave it to the men to answer? It's harder to be a woman "Mine most certainly is....  | |||
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"Sometimes its hard to be a woman What giving all your love to just one man??? and if you love him, be proud of him. After all he's just a man
"As the saying goes"the best man for the job is a woman | |||
" Its difficult to trully compare how I am to how a female is. What's it like being a man in 2014 ? Depends how old you are. As we see men's typical strengths become more and more redundant, we find ourselves looking more towards female role models." I was wondering about that too. There must be a way of adapting "typical male strengths" to modern life. | |||
"are the stats on this thread similar to fabs itself, in that the women are actually mostly men "It looks like it. Cheeky is ridiculously tall so maybe she is a man. | |||
"are the stats on this thread similar to fabs itself, in that the women are actually mostly men
It looks like it. Cheeky is ridiculously tall so maybe she is a man. "I must be.... | |||
"are the stats on this thread similar to fabs itself, in that the women are actually mostly men
It looks like it. Cheeky is ridiculously tall so maybe she is a man.
I must be.... "You had better start sending " fancy a fuck" messages then | |||
" Its difficult to trully compare how I am to how a female is. What's it like being a man in 2014 ? Depends how old you are. As we see men's typical strengths become more and more redundant, we find ourselves looking more towards female role models. I was wondering about that too. There must be a way of adapting "typical male strengths" to modern life." There are,.....maybe applying those qualities to productive tasks for good causes. I think many men may feel threatened by articulate, intelligent, confident women who can challenge them without feeling intimidated on a level par to their male counterparts. This is perhaps one of the last few hurdles of sexual equality? Though without seeming patronising I came from an upbringing where I was taught to care for and look after the woman. For many , that's still an attractive dynamic, and to feel you're not required to do that is a difficult situation ? | |||
" I suppose a Saturday evening isn't the best time to try and engage men in a thread about being men. " So for clarity, where do you presume all the men are on a Saturday night? | |||
" I suppose a Saturday evening isn't the best time to try and engage men in a thread about being men. So for clarity, where do you presume all the men are on a Saturday night?" Somewhere learning how to think about being a man in 2014 lol | |||
" Its difficult to trully compare how I am to how a female is. What's it like being a man in 2014 ? Depends how old you are. As we see men's typical strengths become more and more redundant, we find ourselves looking more towards female role models. I was wondering about that too. There must be a way of adapting "typical male strengths" to modern life. There are,.....maybe applying those qualities to productive tasks for good causes. I think many men may feel threatened by articulate, intelligent, confident women who can challenge them without feeling intimidated on a level par to their male counterparts. This is perhaps one of the last few hurdles of sexual equality? Though without seeming patronising I came from an upbringing where I was taught to care for and look after the woman. For many , that's still an attractive dynamic, and to feel you're not required to do that is a difficult situation ?" Caring and looking after someone is an attractive dynamic as long as it is not done to subjugate. | |||
" I suppose a Saturday evening isn't the best time to try and engage men in a thread about being men. So for clarity, where do you presume all the men are on a Saturday night?" Polishing their shoes for Sunday. | |||
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"So you weren't suggesting that they were most likely indulging in stereotypical male behaviours such as drinking or watching football with other men?" Not particularly. I have noticed more men on the forum on Sunday evenings. The pattern seems to be that Saturday evenings women join in the party threads and Sunday evenings it gets a better mix of genders. I am aware it's the Darts time of year though. | |||
"I just got back from work. Does that count? "Only if that is what being a man is to you. | |||
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"I learnt to be a man at an early age I think. Moved out at 16 and looked after myself. But learnt what you would call man jobs round the house from a young age. Probably about 10 onwards. Me and mrs p have a old fashioned relationship where it's kind of men and women's jobs in the house all though I do some of the "women's " jobs as we'll. We don't think any jobs are sex orientated though it's just they way things have developed over the past 10 years. I hope this is what you meant or I'm going to look a right plonker "Taking responsibility for yourself early and how you shape relationships is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you. | |||
"Or maybe some just don't want to post on this particular subject..." That is very possible. | |||
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" Taking responsibility for yourself early and how you shape relationships is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you. " Well to answer this. By the time I was 16 I had been taught to cook and clean, including ironing, and led to believe my future would be my responsibility. That I could be what I wanted to be, achieve what I really wanted to. I was raised to believe in the essential value of manners and social graces, that who you knew was as important as what I knew. My parents loved each other totally and were completely dedicated to the others happiness and I grew up believing that is how relationships should be. I still do. | |||
"I just got back from work. Does that count?
Only if that is what being a man is to you.
"...i don't think i can define what it would mean to be a man, just like i'd find it difficult to demonstrate what it means to be a lady. I have quite a few thoughts on what a man should be...but, they're a bit soft lol. | |||
" Many men feel confused as to their role in society it would seem, feeling lost or disenchanted. Some resort to hyper masculinity, hence the rise in some areas of violence, drink and drug crime. Others are demasculinising and becoming metrosexual, finding a role as best boy friend rather than boyfriend. For some lucky ones they have actually used the new order to gain, actively involving themselves in their sexual and emotional relationships, home making and child care, whilst still being able to reap the benefits of work. Its not easy being male in 2014 but I think it never has been its just a different kind of difficult." Thank you for this. Sexism was not in my head when starting the thread. The place of male role models also interests me. Who are the male role models for modern young men and what do they teach? | |||
" Taking responsibility for yourself early and how you shape relationships is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you. Well to answer this. By the time I was 16 I had been taught to cook and clean, including ironing, and led to believe my future would be my responsibility. That I could be what I wanted to be, achieve what I really wanted to. I was raised to believe in the essential value of manners and social graces, that who you knew was as important as what I knew. My parents loved each other totally and were completely dedicated to the others happiness and I grew up believing that is how relationships should be. I still do." That sounds really healthy and I would love for all young people to have such a healthy experience and outlook. | |||
"I just got back from work. Does that count?
Only if that is what being a man is to you.
...i don't think i can define what it would mean to be a man, just like i'd find it difficult to demonstrate what it means to be a lady.
I have quite a few thoughts on what a man should be...but, they're a bit soft lol.
"Your last sentence is quite telling in itself. Thank you. | |||
" Many men feel confused as to their role in society it would seem, feeling lost or disenchanted. Some resort to hyper masculinity, hence the rise in some areas of violence, drink and drug crime. Others are demasculinising and becoming metrosexual, finding a role as best boy friend rather than boyfriend. For some lucky ones they have actually used the new order to gain, actively involving themselves in their sexual and emotional relationships, home making and child care, whilst still being able to reap the benefits of work. Its not easy being male in 2014 but I think it never has been its just a different kind of difficult. Thank you for this. Sexism was not in my head when starting the thread. The place of male role models also interests me. Who are the male role models for modern young men and what do they teach?" I think you bark up too many wrong trees as men don't need a role model to develop a personality but I can understand those that don't have the ability to self develop assuming others need one. | |||
" Many men feel confused as to their role in society it would seem, feeling lost or disenchanted. Some resort to hyper masculinity, hence the rise in some areas of violence, drink and drug crime. Others are demasculinising and becoming metrosexual, finding a role as best boy friend rather than boyfriend. For some lucky ones they have actually used the new order to gain, actively involving themselves in their sexual and emotional relationships, home making and child care, whilst still being able to reap the benefits of work. Its not easy being male in 2014 but I think it never has been its just a different kind of difficult. Thank you for this. Sexism was not in my head when starting the thread. The place of male role models also interests me. Who are the male role models for modern young men and what do they teach? I think you bark up too many wrong trees as men don't need a role model to develop a personality but I can understand those that don't have the ability to self develop assuming others need one. " I bark up trees and see which squirrels pop out. | |||
" Many men feel confused as to their role in society it would seem, feeling lost or disenchanted. Some resort to hyper masculinity, hence the rise in some areas of violence, drink and drug crime. Others are demasculinising and becoming metrosexual, finding a role as best boy friend rather than boyfriend. For some lucky ones they have actually used the new order to gain, actively involving themselves in their sexual and emotional relationships, home making and child care, whilst still being able to reap the benefits of work. Its not easy being male in 2014 but I think it never has been its just a different kind of difficult. Thank you for this. Sexism was not in my head when starting the thread. The place of male role models also interests me. Who are the male role models for modern young men and what do they teach? I think you bark up too many wrong trees as men don't need a role model to develop a personality but I can understand those that don't have the ability to self develop assuming others need one. I bark up trees and see which squirrels pop out. " nibbling on nuts | |||
" Many men feel confused as to their role in society it would seem, feeling lost or disenchanted. Some resort to hyper masculinity, hence the rise in some areas of violence, drink and drug crime. Others are demasculinising and becoming metrosexual, finding a role as best boy friend rather than boyfriend. For some lucky ones they have actually used the new order to gain, actively involving themselves in their sexual and emotional relationships, home making and child care, whilst still being able to reap the benefits of work. Its not easy being male in 2014 but I think it never has been its just a different kind of difficult. Thank you for this. Sexism was not in my head when starting the thread. The place of male role models also interests me. Who are the male role models for modern young men and what do they teach? I think you bark up too many wrong trees as men don't need a role model to develop a personality but I can understand those that don't have the ability to self develop assuming others need one. I bark up trees and see which squirrels pop out. " You try to over analise and its no way to get a men never mind how to understand them. The best advice I can give you is to ditch the poor humor it doesn't giver the impression of intelligence or whit as you seem to be striving to project. | |||
" You try to over analise and its no way to get a men never mind how to understand them. The best advice I can give you is to ditch the poor humor it doesn't giver the impression of intelligence or whit as you seem to be striving to project. " Oh fuck thanks mate I wondered where I was going wrong. But then at least I can use a spell checker | |||
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" You try to over analise and its no way to get a men never mind how to understand them. The best advice I can give you is to ditch the poor humor it doesn't giver the impression of intelligence or whit as you seem to be striving to project. Oh fuck thanks mate I wondered where I was going wrong. But then at least I can use a spell checker " I think that was aimed at me, unless you are trying to get men? Of course getting men is the only reason to try and understand them. | |||
" You try to over analise and its no way to get a men never mind how to understand them. The best advice I can give you is to ditch the poor humor it doesn't giver the impression of intelligence or whit as you seem to be striving to project. Oh fuck thanks mate I wondered where I was going wrong. But then at least I can use a spell checker " Cool! By the way on your profile first paragraph and last paragraph it should be you’re not your. Personally I type off cuff in the forums but my profile I take time over I guess any Tom Dick or Larry can use a spellchecker but you can’t use a computer to correct inept grammar.  | |||
"i also think that both sexes change roles as they develop together in a relationship. We normally have a fairly traditional relationship, but we have changed roles over the years. I (mr p) has been a house husband staying at home and bring up the children when one was only 4 months old and Mrs p was working all the hours god sent to support us all. At the moment, we both work full time but she does all the housework, washing etc but i do the majority of the cooking as well as the 'mans' jobs (DIY, spider extractions etc lol). i have always enjoyed this as i see it as a way of looking after my wife after she has had a hard day. She likes keeping the house nice and making sure we are all clean clothed etc. i also am the type of person that would stand up to anyone (not necessarily physically) regardless of what it was to protect my wife/ family which i also see as being a mans role - always being there to protect your loves ones. " Flexible/adaptive and protective. Thank you. | |||
" You try to over analise and its no way to get a men never mind how to understand them. The best advice I can give you is to ditch the poor humor it doesn't giver the impression of intelligence or whit as you seem to be striving to project. Oh fuck thanks mate I wondered where I was going wrong. But then at least I can use a spell checker I think that was aimed at me, unless you are trying to get men? Of course getting men is the only reason to try and understand them. " Actually it was a general comment about people who struggle to form relationships with the opposite sex and assumes analysis of the the opposite sex is the path of redemption which it in reality isn't.You can feel it fits you or not. The attempt at humor.... well that pretty much is self explanatory. | |||
"i also think that both sexes change roles as they develop together in a relationship. We normally have a fairly traditional relationship, but we have changed roles over the years. I (mr p) has been a house husband staying at home and bring up the children when one was only 4 months old and Mrs p was working all the hours god sent to support us all. At the moment, we both work full time but she does all the housework, washing etc but i do the majority of the cooking as well as the 'mans' jobs (DIY, spider extractions etc lol). i have always enjoyed this as i see it as a way of looking after my wife after she has had a hard day. She likes keeping the house nice and making sure we are all clean clothed etc. i also am the type of person that would stand up to anyone (not necessarily physically) regardless of what it was to protect my wife/ family which i also see as being a mans role - always being there to protect your loves ones. Flexible/adaptive and protective. Thank you. " adapt survive and over come | |||
" You try to over analise and its no way to get a men never mind how to understand them. The best advice I can give you is to ditch the poor humor it doesn't giver the impression of intelligence or whit as you seem to be striving to project. Oh fuck thanks mate I wondered where I was going wrong. But then at least I can use a spell checker I think that was aimed at me, unless you are trying to get men? Of course getting men is the only reason to try and understand them. Actually it was a general comment about people who struggle to form relationships with the opposite sex and assumes analysis of the the opposite sex is the path of redemption which it in reality isn't.You can feel it fits you or not. The attempt at humor.... well that pretty much is self explanatory. " The use of "you" and specific advice is all that I took to mean it was addressed to me. I won't be responding to any further posts on the subject of me/you and humour. Back to the thread topic if anyone has anything to contribute to the OP quesions. | |||
"i also think that both sexes change roles as they develop together in a relationship. We normally have a fairly traditional relationship, but we have changed roles over the years. I (mr p) has been a house husband staying at home and bring up the children when one was only 4 months old and Mrs p was working all the hours god sent to support us all. At the moment, we both work full time but she does all the housework, washing etc but i do the majority of the cooking as well as the 'mans' jobs (DIY, spider extractions etc lol). i have always enjoyed this as i see it as a way of looking after my wife after she has had a hard day. She likes keeping the house nice and making sure we are all clean clothed etc. i also am the type of person that would stand up to anyone (not necessarily physically) regardless of what it was to protect my wife/ family which i also see as being a mans role - always being there to protect your loves ones. Flexible/adaptive and protective. Thank you. adapt survive and over come" Exactly. You take the role that suits you at the time to make the situation work. But I do think in our relationship that mr p is the more dominant person in our relationship and I think that is just because of the traditional upbringing that we have both had. | |||
" You try to over analise and its no way to get a men never mind how to understand them. The best advice I can give you is to ditch the poor humor it doesn't giver the impression of intelligence or whit as you seem to be striving to project. Oh fuck thanks mate I wondered where I was going wrong. But then at least I can use a spell checker I think that was aimed at me, unless you are trying to get men? Of course getting men is the only reason to try and understand them. Actually it was a general comment about people who struggle to form relationships with the opposite sex and assumes analysis of the the opposite sex is the path of redemption which it in reality isn't.You can feel it fits you or not. The attempt at humor.... well that pretty much is self explanatory. The use of "you" and specific advice is all that I took to mean it was addressed to me. I won't be responding to any further posts on the subject of me/you and humour. Back to the thread topic if anyone has anything to contribute to the OP quesions. " Why you feel to add you won't be responding is questionable but it hardly gives you the high ground but if its supposed to be a humorous comment it missed the mark. Maybe I missed the point and you are trying to over analise again in an attempt to understand. | |||
"i also think that both sexes change roles as they develop together in a relationship. We normally have a fairly traditional relationship, but we have changed roles over the years. I (mr p) has been a house husband staying at home and bring up the children when one was only 4 months old and Mrs p was working all the hours god sent to support us all. At the moment, we both work full time but she does all the housework, washing etc but i do the majority of the cooking as well as the 'mans' jobs (DIY, spider extractions etc lol). i have always enjoyed this as i see it as a way of looking after my wife after she has had a hard day. She likes keeping the house nice and making sure we are all clean clothed etc. i also am the type of person that would stand up to anyone (not necessarily physically) regardless of what it was to protect my wife/ family which i also see as being a mans role - always being there to protect your loves ones. Flexible/adaptive and protective. Thank you. adapt survive and over come Exactly. You take the role that suits you at the time to make the situation work. But I do think in our relationship that mr p is the more dominant person in our relationship and I think that is just because of the traditional upbringing that we have both had. " sorry to put the adapt survive and over come comment i meant to add its all to do with the ebb and flow of day to day life but i pressed the wrong button on my phone (dopey) | |||
"i also think that both sexes change roles as they develop together in a relationship. We normally have a fairly traditional relationship, but we have changed roles over the years. I (mr p) has been a house husband staying at home and bring up the children when one was only 4 months old and Mrs p was working all the hours god sent to support us all. At the moment, we both work full time but she does all the housework, washing etc but i do the majority of the cooking as well as the 'mans' jobs (DIY, spider extractions etc lol). i have always enjoyed this as i see it as a way of looking after my wife after she has had a hard day. She likes keeping the house nice and making sure we are all clean clothed etc. i also am the type of person that would stand up to anyone (not necessarily physically) regardless of what it was to protect my wife/ family which i also see as being a mans role - always being there to protect your loves ones. Flexible/adaptive and protective. Thank you. adapt survive and over come Exactly. You take the role that suits you at the time to make the situation work. But I do think in our relationship that mr p is the more dominant person in our relationship and I think that is just because of the traditional upbringing that we have both had. " Do you both see Mr P as the more dominant person and is that the reality of what happens with decisions? | |||
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"I became a man when I learned what every tool in my father's toolbox was for, and was able to use them to create and to build. The Mr." A very hands on experience then. Did your father teach you to use the tools? | |||
"Im a man and its sat nite and im here.kids tucked up in bed after fun day.being a man to me is being a dad.and who learnt me that.it was my own dad when he fucked off" I'm with you on this one, fella. I learnt how to be a (hopefully good) father by doing the opposite to my dad. Which is pretty much what I said for his eulogy last year. | |||
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"I became a man when I learned what every tool in my father's toolbox was for, and was able to use them to create and to build. The Mr. A very hands on experience then. Did your father teach you to use the tools? " It was a metaphorical toolbox, but yes - he taught me how to use many tools. Compassion, violence, words and actions were just a few. | |||
"i also think that both sexes change roles as they develop together in a relationship. We normally have a fairly traditional relationship, but we have changed roles over the years. I (mr p) has been a house husband staying at home and bring up the children when one was only 4 months old and Mrs p was working all the hours god sent to support us all. At the moment, we both work full time but she does all the housework, washing etc but i do the majority of the cooking as well as the 'mans' jobs (DIY, spider extractions etc lol). i have always enjoyed this as i see it as a way of looking after my wife after she has had a hard day. She likes keeping the house nice and making sure we are all clean clothed etc. i also am the type of person that would stand up to anyone (not necessarily physically) regardless of what it was to protect my wife/ family which i also see as being a mans role - always being there to protect your loves ones. Flexible/adaptive and protective. Thank you. adapt survive and over come Exactly. You take the role that suits you at the time to make the situation work. But I do think in our relationship that mr p is the more dominant person in our relationship and I think that is just because of the traditional upbringing that we have both had. Do you both see Mr P as the more dominant person and is that the reality of what happens with decisions? " Yeah we both see mr p as the dominate one in the relationship and actually talked about this earlier this evening when first commented on here. Decisions are always discussed between us but generally we go by what me p says. Not in a bad way as I am not a dominant person or a decisive person in the slightest but if I do disagree about something we do talk and compromise on it. I respect mr p's decisions and trust his opinions and judgments. We have grown up together since we were 17 so our thoughts are often very similar anyway. | |||
"I became a man when I learned what every tool in my father's toolbox was for, and was able to use them to create and to build. The Mr. A very hands on experience then. Did your father teach you to use the tools? It was a metaphorical toolbox, but yes - he taught me how to use many tools. Compassion, violence, words and actions were just a few." Thank you. It's the metaphorical toolbox I was trying to get to when thinking about role models and becoming a man. The Search Institute has created the 40 Developmental Assets for Adolescents model looking at what you need to have in your toolbox but I have been wondering if any are particularly better for males or females. | |||
" Do you both see Mr P as the more dominant person and is that the reality of what happens with decisions? Yeah we both see mr p as the dominate one in the relationship and actually talked about this earlier this evening when first commented on here. Decisions are always discussed between us but generally we go by what me p says. Not in a bad way as I am not a dominant person or a decisive person in the slightest but if I do disagree about something we do talk and compromise on it. I respect mr p's decisions and trust his opinions and judgments. We have grown up together since we were 17 so our thoughts are often very similar anyway. " Thank you for that clarification. | |||
