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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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well i found a realy good joke website so i thought i should share a few jokes and hey if you have some dont hesitate to post.
some married couples may get a laugh out of this :P
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.
After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep - the woman on the top bunk and the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over - wakes the man and says, "I'm sorry to bother you - but I''m awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket?"
The man leans out and with a glint in his eye - says, "I''ve got a better idea... just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."
The woman thinks for a moment. "Why not," she giggles.
"Great," he replies, "Get your own damn blanket!" |
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By *oobCouple
over a year ago
Netherlands |
Had to put this somewhere..........
........... was googling "beer" and came across this classic...........
'My Mum drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense.'
--Jack, 7 years |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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lol thats good what do you think of this one :D
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair - while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Got this one made me giggle..
Little April was asleep in class.
teacher decided to try to catch her out and asks,
April.who created the universe?
when April didnt stir.her friend little johnny jabbed her in the back with a pen,
"GOD ALMIGHTY" shouts April, later teacher asks her "who is our saviour?
johnny again prods her with a pen n April shouts "JESUS CHRIST!"
teacher was determinded to catch her asleep and asks "what did eve say to adam after she had their 23rd child?"
johnny again comes to the rescue and jabs April who screams...
"IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONCE MORE ILL BREAK IT IN HALF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE !!!"
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