FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Conversations over the xmas dinner - why my family don't know me!
Conversations over the xmas dinner - why my family don't know me!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Over Christmas lunch...my 73 year old mum recalling tales of an old friend who, on a night out, would go outside the pub and get in her car with 'not one but TWO guys' for sex and be back in 20 minutes!!' Shock horror! My sister and mum were absolutely disgusted!
So am I! Why did she come back in so early!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Over Christmas lunch...my 73 year old mum recalling tales of an old friend who, on a night out, would go outside the pub and get in her car with 'not one but TWO guys' for sex and be back in 20 minutes!!' Shock horror! My sister and mum were absolutely disgusted!
So am I! Why did she come back in so early! "
PMSL ....Brilliant |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"20mins would be 23hrs and 40 mins too short to spend with you..  "
Lol....well thankyou! But my sisters face was a picture as she piled more little sausages on the plate!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You know that question....'would your family be shocked at what they find after you die????????'
Um.....yep!!! Just a bit!!! Lol! I think my sister would have a stroke and join me in spirit world ! |
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Haha funny. I love how people make assumptions I was changing the bedding last night as my parents are staying and I've given them my room and my mum turned round and said "oh you didn't need to change the bed it's only you that's been in it".
Little does she know!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You know that question....'would your family be shocked at what they find after you die????????'
Um.....yep!!! Just a bit!!! Lol! I think my sister would have a stroke and join me in spirit world ! "
Lol I do often wonder this myself, my family would be OMG and he used to go to sunday school my mates would be "he was always the kinky fucker" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Oh my mum is a riot! She is 73 now but sooooo naive!
I will never forget. ...years back, I was on tour as a singer in a band and she came to a gig with us once....well the lads were being ...er...lads! They momentarily forgot she was there and made some joke about a blow job. So my mum quips...'I never know why they call it that... surely you suck, not blow!' 
A legend! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haha funny. I love how people make assumptions I was changing the bedding last night as my parents are staying and I've given them my room and my mum turned round and said "oh you didn't need to change the bed it's only you that's been in it".
Little does she know!!!! "
LMAO I remember in my younger years staying at a mates with my gf at the time and we stayed in his moms room. A few days later we caught up and he said he had not changed the sheets and I must have had a shocked look as he then said well you 2 didn't get up to anything did you to my reply you must be a heavy sleeper then |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Haha funny. I love how people make assumptions I was changing the bedding last night as my parents are staying and I've given them my room and my mum turned round and said "oh you didn't need to change the bed it's only you that's been in it".
Little does she know!!!! "
Lol!! Awkward! I would have loved to hear how you convinced her it really MUST be changed mum! My mum would argue 'no no dear! Really! I insist you leave the sheets alone'!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh my mum is a riot! She is 73 now but sooooo naive!
I will never forget. ...years back, I was on tour as a singer in a band and she came to a gig with us once....well the lads were being ...er...lads! They momentarily forgot she was there and made some joke about a blow job. So my mum quips...'I never know why they call it that... surely you suck, not blow!'
A legend! "
I would really love to meet you mum..proper legend and I could congratulate her for having a wonderful daughter too x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Haha funny. I love how people make assumptions I was changing the bedding last night as my parents are staying and I've given them my room and my mum turned round and said "oh you didn't need to change the bed it's only you that's been in it".
Little does she know!!!!
LMAO I remember in my younger years staying at a mates with my gf at the time and we stayed in his moms room. A few days later we caught up and he said he had not changed the sheets and I must have had a shocked look as he then said well you 2 didn't get up to anything did you to my reply you must be a heavy sleeper then "
Whoops! !! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh my mum is a riot! She is 73 now but sooooo naive!
I will never forget. ...years back, I was on tour as a singer in a band and she came to a gig with us once....well the lads were being ...er...lads! They momentarily forgot she was there and made some joke about a blow job. So my mum quips...'I never know why they call it that... surely you suck, not blow!'
A legend!
I would really love to meet you mum..proper legend and I could congratulate her for having a wonderful daughter too x"
Oh you are smooth! Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh my mum is a riot! She is 73 now but sooooo naive!
I will never forget. ...years back, I was on tour as a singer in a band and she came to a gig with us once....well the lads were being ...er...lads! They momentarily forgot she was there and made some joke about a blow job. So my mum quips...'I never know why they call it that... surely you suck, not blow!'
A legend!
I would really love to meet you mum..proper legend and I could congratulate her for having a wonderful daughter too x
Oh you are smooth! Lol"
Who me if only I should be so very lucky  |
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"Haha funny. I love how people make assumptions I was changing the bedding last night as my parents are staying and I've given them my room and my mum turned round and said "oh you didn't need to change the bed it's only you that's been in it".
Little does she know!!!!
Lol!! Awkward! I would have loved to hear how you convinced her it really MUST be changed mum! My mum would argue 'no no dear! Really! I insist you leave the sheets alone'! "
Lol it took a while but in eventually got them changed by convincing her I'd not be able to do them any other time as I need her to help me while I'm not too good |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Haha funny. I love how people make assumptions I was changing the bedding last night as my parents are staying and I've given them my room and my mum turned round and said "oh you didn't need to change the bed it's only you that's been in it".
Little does she know!!!!
Lol!! Awkward! I would have loved to hear how you convinced her it really MUST be changed mum! My mum would argue 'no no dear! Really! I insist you leave the sheets alone'!
Lol it took a while but in eventually got them changed by convincing her I'd not be able to do them any other time as I need her to help me while I'm not too good "
Oh very good! Quick thinking! Lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haha funny. I love how people make assumptions I was changing the bedding last night as my parents are staying and I've given them my room and my mum turned round and said "oh you didn't need to change the bed it's only you that's been in it".
Little does she know!!!!
Lol!! Awkward! I would have loved to hear how you convinced her it really MUST be changed mum! My mum would argue 'no no dear! Really! I insist you leave the sheets alone'!
Lol it took a while but in eventually got them changed by convincing her I'd not be able to do them any other time as I need her to help me while I'm not too good "
fast thinking there congratulations on the sheet changing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember being at home and in my room with a gf and having some fun and whilst in the middle of going down on here my mum promptly shout up to find out what I wanting in my sarni for the morning!
My gf and i where in fits of giggles as I did asked if the gf could slip between to slices of bread for me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think my sister is even more prudish than my 73 year old mum! She has only slept with 2 guys in her life and she married both of them!
I have no idea why my mum thought to put a red fur lined pair of rubber gloves in my sisters Christmas stocking! But I suggested to her husband that he needn't be worried as it shouldn't hurt with plenty of lube! My sisters glare of absolute disgust was priceless! !! He didnt know where to look! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I remember being at home and in my room with a gf and having some fun and whilst in the middle of going down on here my mum promptly shout up to find out what I wanting in my sarni for the morning!
My gf and i where in fits of giggles as I did asked if the gf could slip between to slices of bread for me "
As long as you didnt ask for cheese! !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I remember being at home and in my room with a gf and having some fun and whilst in the middle of going down on here my mum promptly shout up to find out what I wanting in my sarni for the morning!
My gf and i where in fits of giggles as I did asked if the gf could slip between to slices of bread for me
lol no that's never on the menu here xx
As long as you didnt ask for cheese! !! "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think my sister is even more prudish than my 73 year old mum! She has only slept with 2 guys in her life and she married both of them!
I have no idea why my mum thought to put a red fur lined pair of rubber gloves in my sisters Christmas stocking! But I suggested to her husband that he needn't be worried as it shouldn't hurt with plenty of lube! My sisters glare of absolute disgust was priceless! !! He didnt know where to look! "
I would have offered to help but he is already up his own arse!! Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think my sister is even more prudish than my 73 year old mum! She has only slept with 2 guys in her life and she married both of them!
I have no idea why my mum thought to put a red fur lined pair of rubber gloves in my sisters Christmas stocking! But I suggested to her husband that he needn't be worried as it shouldn't hurt with plenty of lube! My sisters glare of absolute disgust was priceless! !! He didnt know where to look!
I would have offered to help but he is already up his own arse!! Lol "
Think he my have had a stroke like your sister as well...You trying to bump of your family members? xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Lol...I THINK my mum intended the rubber gloves as a joke reference about my sisters OCD tendencies about cleaning...but being a kinky mare...my mind immediately went elsewhere! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Over Christmas lunch...my 73 year old mum recalling tales of an old friend who, on a night out, would go outside the pub and get in her car with 'not one but TWO guys' for sex and be back in 20 minutes!!' Shock horror! My sister and mum were absolutely disgusted!
So am I! Why did she come back in so early! "
broke them both in 5 minutes, then took 15 to fix her make up |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Over Christmas lunch...my 73 year old mum recalling tales of an old friend who, on a night out, would go outside the pub and get in her car with 'not one but TWO guys' for sex and be back in 20 minutes!!' Shock horror! My sister and mum were absolutely disgusted!
So am I! Why did she come back in so early!
broke them both in 5 minutes, then took 15 to fix her make up "
Lol.....and if I said that..my sister would drop the Turkey! !! Lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Convo at our table yesterday ended up in the gutter too, sadly my Mum is in hospital and my sister went there but they would have just sat 'tutting' at us  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Convo at our table yesterday ended up in the gutter too, sadly my Mum is in hospital and my sister went there but they would have just sat 'tutting' at us "
Sorry to hear your mum is in hospital. Hopes she'll be feeling better soon x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Convo at our table yesterday ended up in the gutter too, sadly my Mum is in hospital and my sister went there but they would have just sat 'tutting' at us
Sorry to hear your mum is in hospital. Hopes she'll be feeling better soon x"
Thank you x |
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"I think my sister is even more prudish than my 73 year old mum! She has only slept with 2 guys in her life and she married both of them!
I have no idea why my mum thought to put a red fur lined pair of rubber gloves in my sisters Christmas stocking! But I suggested to her husband that he needn't be worried as it shouldn't hurt with plenty of lube! My sisters glare of absolute disgust was priceless! !! He didnt know where to look! "
To be fair, they don't know about your secret life. .. maybe your sister is a kinky bitch and keeps it well hidden? Perhaps it's all an act |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Over Christmas lunch...my 73 year old mum recalling tales of an old friend who, on a night out, would go outside the pub and get in her car with 'not one but TWO guys' for sex and be back in 20 minutes!!' Shock horror! My sister and mum were absolutely disgusted!
So am I! Why did she come back in so early! "
lol. Maybe she was just very good! My shocker this year was my 16 yr old daughter announcing who she would 'lez it up with' Jessie J!! I nearly choked on my sprouts.......but have to agree with her! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think my sister is even more prudish than my 73 year old mum! She has only slept with 2 guys in her life and she married both of them!
I have no idea why my mum thought to put a red fur lined pair of rubber gloves in my sisters Christmas stocking! But I suggested to her husband that he needn't be worried as it shouldn't hurt with plenty of lube! My sisters glare of absolute disgust was priceless! !! He didnt know where to look!
To be fair, they don't know about your secret life. .. maybe your sister is a kinky bitch and keeps it well hidden? Perhaps it's all an act"
Oh no! My sister is very prudish! They have a puppy and she said she is getting it 'done' because she cant stand the thought of her 'baby' having sex!!!!!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having lunch with the family, and one of my mum's older friends (an 83 year old lady) when my niece's boyfriend told a joke about a BJ.
The lady asked what a blow job was. "Is that something I should ask my hairdresser for??"
As no one else could speak, I had to explain very gently - to which she replied " Oh that! I used to love doing those!"
Tables turned! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh my mum is a riot! She is 73 now but sooooo naive!
I will never forget. ...years back, I was on tour as a singer in a band and she came to a gig with us once....well the lads were being ...er...lads! They momentarily forgot she was there and made some joke about a blow job. So my mum quips...'I never know why they call it that... surely you suck, not blow!'
A legend! "
Lol awesome! |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
That is funny.
I am going to be one of those grandmas who tell dirty embarrassing stories. I shal start with the one about the 4 black men. Then move onto the skiing incident. Follow up with loosing a butt plug up my jacksie then finish off with the fisting occasion lol
Then watch the look of shock horror on their faces when I blame it on the sherry lol |
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