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D*unk messaging
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm usually on the receiving end of a d*unken call..within 30 seconds of the call, they're all snoring over the phone.
...i'm exciting aren't i?"
Did it take you a while to get the argos book out to reach the phone?     |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I get a druken song at 4am on a Sunday morning. Its always the same song! Funny though 
Is it a Pogues song ? "
No , that would be a nice change though lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got a phone call once from a guy I know, nor sexually I may add, telling me what he'd like to do to me while I was bent over, he was obviously pissed by the sound of his voice and his girlfriend has the same first name as me so I asked him if he was sure he had called the right person, he just went quiet and hung up |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"got a 'lil confused whilst d*unk & messaged a tit pic to my boss.....made for an interesting Monday morning I can tell you lol....!
"
haha - oops!
I've told boss's I loved them in the past, pretty sure I proposed to one once   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm the king of d*unken texts
how can they tell your d*unk?
Cos num9bers en0 up in the w0rds"
Ah, that's ok then - I wouldn't have known with you otherwise |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm the king of d*unken texts
how can they tell your d*unk?
Cos num9bers en0 up in the w0rds
I feel left out now."
best get drinking then mrs
Or send random messages and just say your were d*unk as an excuse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm usually on the receiving end of a d*unken call..within 30 seconds of the call, they're all snoring over the phone.
...i'm exciting aren't i?
Did it take you a while to get the argos book out to reach the phone? "
Oi!!
..my hands are able to reach my pockets you know. I may have short legs, but my hands can reach all sorts..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm usually on the receiving end of a d*unken call..within 30 seconds of the call, they're all snoring over the phone.
...i'm exciting aren't i?
Did it take you a while to get the argos book out to reach the phone?
Oi!!
..my hands are able to reach my pockets you know. I may have short legs, but my hands can reach all sorts..
"
Te He |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm the king of d*unken texts
how can they tell your d*unk?
Cos num9bers en0 up in the w0rds
I feel left out now.
best get drinking then mrs
Or send random messages and just say your were d*unk as an excuse "
I never drink alone and when I am drinking with others why would I be texting? It just doesn't make sense to me. I'm old and still use phones to speak to people.
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm the king of d*unken texts
how can they tell your d*unk?
Cos num9bers en0 up in the w0rds
I feel left out now.
Here y0u g00 - I lurves y00 Lickety "
When I get that in a text I'll know you mean it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm the king of d*unken texts
how can they tell your d*unk?
Cos num9bers en0 up in the w0rds
I feel left out now.
best get drinking then mrs
Or send random messages and just say your were d*unk as an excuse
I never drink alone and when I am drinking with others why would I be texting? It just doesn't make sense to me. I'm old and still use phones to speak to people.
"
in that case - d*unk call! |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm the king of d*unken texts
how can they tell your d*unk?
Cos num9bers en0 up in the w0rds
I feel left out now.
best get drinking then mrs
Or send random messages and just say your were d*unk as an excuse
I never drink alone and when I am drinking with others why would I be texting? It just doesn't make sense to me. I'm old and still use phones to speak to people.
in that case - d*unk call! "
I have had a couple of people who used to call d*unk. In the days before mobile phones it would be from a cold phone box somewhere to tell me they were at the end of the road. I don't think it could have been the end of my road as they would then take a very long time before ringing the doorbell. One female friend would crawl into my bed and I would have to put my hand over her mouth to shut her up so that we could get some sleep. |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"
One female friend would crawl into my bed and I would have to put my hand over her mouth to shut her up so that we could get some sleep."
But I hadnt been drinking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My sober texts are like d*unk texts lol
"
mine too, i'm shit with predictive text and never change the word if it comes out wrong, I've had many a text back asking if i'm pissed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My sober texts are like d*unk texts lol
mine too, i'm shit with predictive text and never change the word if it comes out wrong, I've had many a text back asking if i'm pissed "
...it's embarassing lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've sent some crackers!!!! But the best one I received was from my bosses hubbie who had got my number from her phone....and went into very graphic detail about what he would like to get up to. Boy was his face red the next time I met him.....I still laugh .....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm the king of d*unken texts
And of d*unk messages on here. Really, really funny ones
I think it's a while since I've done d*unken fabbing. It's usually a very bad idea. "
I don't to be d*unk apparently I talk shit anyway ahem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm the king of d*unken texts
And of d*unk messages on here. Really, really funny ones
I think it's a while since I've done d*unken fabbing. It's usually a very bad idea.
I don't to be d*unk apparently I talk shit anyway ahem"
Pahahaha I have evidence  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me and my fb took some bj pics on my mobile . She text me to send her them while I was pissed at a barbecue . I sent them to a lady friend who was holidaying in Greece . Ouch . For some reason she never talked to me again |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"I don't text I just take random toilet pics
Hahaha you should find a better class of toilet
My toilet was better than yours
Last nights was so funny "
Least she pulled her knickers up this time rather than waving them in the air |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't text I just take random toilet pics
Hahaha you should find a better class of toilet
My toilet was better than yours
Last nights was so funny
Least she pulled her knickers up this time rather than waving them in the air "
Just asphyxiation by toilet roll |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't text I just take random toilet pics
Hahaha you should find a better class of toilet
My toilet was better than yours
Last nights was so funny
Least she pulled her knickers up this time rather than waving them in the air
Just asphyxiation by toilet roll "
OI I only do these things to amuse my friends ... Blame the vodka not me |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"I don't text I just take random toilet pics
Hahaha you should find a better class of toilet
My toilet was better than yours
Last nights was so funny
Least she pulled her knickers up this time rather than waving them in the air
Just asphyxiation by toilet roll
OI I only do these things to amuse my friends ... Blame the vodka not me "
Are you open to requests? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't text I just take random toilet pics
Hahaha you should find a better class of toilet
My toilet was better than yours
Last nights was so funny
Least she pulled her knickers up this time rather than waving them in the air
Just asphyxiation by toilet roll
OI I only do these things to amuse my friends ... Blame the vodka not me
Are you open to requests?"
Hmmmm maybe |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"I don't text I just take random toilet pics
Hahaha you should find a better class of toilet
My toilet was better than yours
Last nights was so funny
Least she pulled her knickers up this time rather than waving them in the air
Just asphyxiation by toilet roll
OI I only do these things to amuse my friends ... Blame the vodka not me
Are you open to requests?
Hmmmm maybe "
you'll regret this ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't text I just take random toilet pics
Hahaha you should find a better class of toilet
My toilet was better than yours
Last nights was so funny
Least she pulled her knickers up this time rather than waving them in the air
Just asphyxiation by toilet roll
OI I only do these things to amuse my friends ... Blame the vodka not me
Are you open to requests?
Hmmmm maybe
you'll regret this ! "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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few Christmas Eves ago sent a text while bladdered and in car(NOT driving!!) so phone was shaking, or was it my eyes that were shaking!
'love you'
got one back saying 'love you too Uncle B!'
thought i had sent to my lover. her name begins with same letter as my neice and they were next to eachother in my contacts. not anymore they're not!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Did get once get one from a work colleague... Are you staying at mine tonight and going straight to work in the morning. Obviously wrong person, but you know me couldn't resist my reply.. Nice offer thankyou, but I very much doubt it! He looks kind of sheepish when I work with him. |
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By *em4ejacWoman
over a year ago
Cougarville |
Had a d*unken booty call last night from a dead friends husband , after trying to convince him that it wouldn't be a good idea he insisted on arriving at my house late at night with wine in hand , already very d*unk . I'm stone cold sober . He had his horny head on when he arrived But when we retired to the bedroom he tried everything , I tried everything .it just wouldn't work . He must know at the age of 43 how too much alcohol affects his performance . He thinks he will return sober for another try out but I think he won't remember or I hope he won't anyway . He was so embarrassed . I wasn't . These things happen . |
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