 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
It's nearly the end of the year and time for me to reflect on the sheer pointlessness of some of my outpourings of vitriol against various site denizens, and see if anythings changed.
Earlier in the year there was the futility of ranting about all the wonderful "Genuine" people on the site. The ones who see it as some sort of guarantee that they'll show up. You know the ones, they've seen the receipe for a profile: Mix one tedious and useless Sydney disclaimer with a small amount of dialogue about yourself. Once marinaded untouched for a year, add a cock pic to the mix and a liberal sprinkling of the word Genuine to taste.(this final part actually does nothing for the flavour, it just adds volume, like water in meat)
You usually see them on local updates with catchphrases like "where are all the genuine people?" and bemoaning the amount of fakes and timewasters without actually realising it's their own bloody fault. But stick a few more genuines in the profile and hope it acts as a meet lubricant. So it ends up "Hi I'm Bob and I'm genuine. Any genuine people genuinely want to meet a genuine person like me? I can spot genuine timewasters a mile off, genuinely". When clearly their next frustrated status update shows they can't.
Nothing's changed. They're still here of course. So stop it and find another meaningless buzzword.
Then we had the discreet ones. That's discreet, NOT discrete by the way. The ones with "discretion assured/need to be discreet/discreet meets only" all over the bloody profile. The ones who seem to think I'll arrive on Elephant back, with a massed band and laser light show when going for a fuck at theirs. They are usually married or house sharing, and are shit scared of the Mrs or a neighbor seeing/walking in and as a consequence spend the entire meet like a frightened gazelle. Ready to leap away at the sound of a car passing by outside and can't get you out the door fast enough when they've shot their lightning bolt.
Nothing's changed. They're still here of course. So chill the fuck out or find a new hobby.
I love Timewasters, stupid people who engage in conversation with the likes of this: Slutbabe101 (19) F. Joined 1 hour ago. "Looking for anal sex Nooowww!" Can't accomodate. Can't travel. No Pics. Send email address for my private pics.
Yes YOU'RE the timewaster for talking to Slutbabe101. Not her. You waste your own time doing it. She wouldn't even exist if people like you didn't talk to her.
Every.
Single.
Fucking.
Time.
A decent verified profile that just stops talking to you IS NOT a timewaster. They've just grown tired of your cretinism or plain don't fancy you and don't have to give a reason why they are not talking to you anymore. Because life just sucks doesn't it? Buy a fucking helmet.
Nothing's changed. They're still here of course. Engaging those too good to be true and then bitching about it and expecting the site to invent controls to protect them from their own stupidity.
Fakes, those profiles that wouldn't exist if it weren't for the moron timewasters talking to them.
Nothing's changed. They're still here of course, all sluts and tits and porn pics. Gagging for any cock NOW big boy. Yes you, please come round, I'm waiting on all fours with my bisexual friend now. We want to put on a show for you and use you all night. Honest.
Bastards who clog up petrol stations because they don't want to risk minor cosmetic damage to their penis substitutes by using the pump on the other side of the car. Because it's soooo difficult to lift a hose a little bit, with all the risk assessments, manual handling regulations and PPE that entails. It's just easier to sit there singing along to your Demis Roussos CD while the vast que of traffic behind your throbbing, powerful metal dildo gets angrier and angrier and the death toll on the main road mounts.
Nothing's changed. They're still here of course. You probably can't post because they're in the way.
Anyone want to skype/kik/whatsapp me?ers.....if you're very very quiet, you can hear them. That noise like a million babies sucking dummies at once, that's them. Thrapping away in the vain hope it's actually a woman they are talking to, and not another guy thrapping away in the vain hope it's actually a woman he's talking to. And the viscious cycle repeats Ad Nauseum as each one has a day off work, or comes home from the pub with the horn and a bag of chips.
Nothing's changed. They're still here of course. They're stuck to their seats.
The "Anyone else like Jamjarring?" people. The ones, usually the skype/kik/whatsappers who get so bored on a weekend that they invent a new masturbatory method.
"I like to warm a jar of jam on the radiator for a while then fuck it coz it feels like a pussy full of jam (not anything with pips though). Then take a picture of it and send it to lovely ladies to rub on their titties and have them photograph that and send it back to me so I can wank over it then send it back as a jam tribute pic. Anyone else into that?"
No. No one is or ever will be. It's too creepy, too weird and too much bastard effort. The term Swinger does not mean "into creative and unusual ways of jerking off". If you've wanked sooooo much in your life that it's lost it's attraction, and you're having to spend time inventing new ways to cum, then just stop. Have a onanism break and try making airfix models or something.
Nothing's changed. They're still here of course. Probably with a model of a spitfire glued to their cocks.
If there's anyone I've missed, please feel free to berate me.
Otherwise...Merry New Year to you all, you filthy bastards. Here's to loads more rutting and ranting in 2014.
 |
xxx
