FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Changing the rules during a meet

Changing the rules during a meet

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Have you had a meet where you'd agreed your 'rules' beforehand, but then during the meet the other person/ couple started changing the rules?

How did you handle it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We haven't but have adapted or changed the rules for the next time

but we have known others who have and it caused a lot of arguments between them ....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We played with a soft play couple last week at a club. This couples definition was oral but no penetration.

The female half of the couple was eventually asking me to have full sex with her although I knew her husband did not approve and he was present in the room. She sent her husband to the bar and asked me to quickly have sex with her. I was very tempted, my wife wanted me to have sex her and the female was game too!

I reluctantly declined, which is difficult when you have a hard on! I did finish myself with her using other means but this is hopefully an apt example of rule changing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We played with a soft play couple last week at a club. This couples definition was oral but no penetration.

I reluctantly declined, which is difficult when you have a hard on! I did finish myself with her using other means but this is hopefully an apt example of rule changing."

I'd also class it as cheating if the husband wasn't happy with it - I'm sure your knob will forgive you though

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By *oodmessMan over a year ago

yumsville

Had a meet where both parties were straight and both were into full swap. I get there, and after a drink we all get comfy. Next the guy grabs my dick "testing my girth"; told him 'steady on', to which he then took a back seat, went limp and caused a fuss that I was being too 'cocky' (pmfsl).

Turns out they were a bi, soft swing cple, and although the woman was enjoying it (she had a go at the fella in front of me) it put a downer (pmsl) on the night, and I got my socks on.

Amaziing as they had loads, I mean loads of veris. Have no clue what they did with their other meets but on the drive home I was more than bamboozled

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I did once.. It was a social only but they pressurised me into changing it into something more. The first and last time that will ever happen

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Have you had a meet where you'd agreed your 'rules' beforehand, but then during the meet the other person/ couple started changing the rules?

How did you handle it? "
for me 'rules' change generally by me sometimes but, if the other person involved changed them It all depends on what the connection/chemistry is like between us as to how I handle it....

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I try to avoid rules beforehand, as too often it seems to end up becoming a script of what will happen. I prefer to play it by ear. However, it did mess up a meet when I was playing with a couple and said to Mr, that if he wanted he could fuck me. He asked Mrs, who said yes in a way that obviously meant no and that she would persecute him for the next 20 years if he did. I felt like I'd skipped onto a minefield.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple over a year ago

Leicestershire

We played with a couple who had agreed softswap only for their first meet. Halfway through the female is noisily begging me to fuck her while her husband was shaking his head saying 'No, no, no, no full sex on our first meet!'

Then she moved on to trying to pull me into her by my cock. At that point it started to hurt! Lol I told her no way was I going to do that when clearly they hadn't agreed to it.

They calmed down after that, she continued to cum and he decided to watch. D tried to entice him to play with a blow job. Alas he couldn't hold out for more than 20 seconds so that didn't really work out either.

Still we managed to have fun. She wanted to meet on her own after that without his knowledge. That's just not how we roll, so we never did meet either again.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I did once.. It was a social only but they pressurised me into changing it into something more. The first and last time that will ever happen

Can I just add it was my first ever cpl meet and I was naïve and silly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

we know our boundaries and will do anything that feels right within them.

they are non negotiable on the night, but if we meet a soft soft couple (say voyeurs) and they want to take things further, then we are happy to, as long as they agree on it, both of them, and as said, its within our boundaries.

however, we did have a bit of an impromptu meet at a social with a couple, and while the wife was wanking me off, the husband was asking V if he could 'slip it in her', saying 'go on, no one will notice'.

she declined and we stopped playing with them.

cant be doing with any of that kind of shit

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By *anyoufeelmeMan over a year ago

near you

I meet a female who said she was single - we ended up back at her house .. no pictures of hub on the fireplace however as we both got naked i heard a door open and to my fucking horror … Hubby walked in

He said it was ok as he only wanted to watch !! ..

the panic of what i thought "being caught" ( thats how it felt ) killed the mood and my hard on .. to top it off he did say could he touch me to try and get things back on track …..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I once had a social meet and was a very bad girl and broke my own rule and ended up getting a hotel room. Lucky for me he was quite happy for me to break it , oh hang on I remember now , he didn't know about my rule

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No as boundaries are set before and adhered to, have changed some original "rules" since joining but that is in agreement and wouldn't ever do anything that wasn't already agreed to, by all parties.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Have you had a meet where you'd agreed your 'rules' beforehand, but then during the meet the other person/ couple started changing the rules?

How did you handle it? "

Yes and the reason I've changed how and where I meet. Man got lost on his way to our agreed meeting place and ended up in my village so I stupidly said 'you may as well come here now'. He'd been eating garlic for a month, pounced on me as soon as he was in the door, got naked within seconds, had smelly feet, forgot his condoms and actually believed me when I said I didn't have any. I've never locked the door so quick behind anyone in my life!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Have you had a meet where you'd agreed your 'rules' beforehand, but then during the meet the other person/ couple started changing the rules?

How did you handle it? "
My major "rule" is always condoms with a new "meet", be it with a single girl, or with a couple. I'm amazed at the number of times the girls "change their minds" during the meet and want bareback. I always refuse gently (despite being very tempted), and find that invariably the "refusal" is received ok. The thing that surprises me everytime is that their wanting bareback is a very common occurrence. Any other guys finding this?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Had a meet where both parties were straight and both were into full swap. I get there, and after a drink we all get comfy. Next the guy grabs my dick "testing my girth"; told him 'steady on', to which he then took a back seat, went limp and caused a fuss that I was being too 'cocky' (pmfsl).

Turns out they were a bi, soft swing cple, and although the woman was enjoying it (she had a go at the fella in front of me) it put a downer (pmsl) on the night, and I got my socks on.

Amaziing as they had loads, I mean loads of veris. Have no clue what they did with their other meets but on the drive home I was more than bamboozled"

Similar story to you. I had a threesome with a supposedly straight married couple a few years ago. I was having sex with her and he was watching, I was in full stride when I could feel someone playing with my testicles which I assumed was was her until I realised that both her arms were around my neck! I asked what he was playing at and she tried to get me and him to kiss, which I declined.

Nothing else was said and we finished with a double penetration...well, they did. He came inside her bum and she leapt off and got dressed before I was anywhere near climax.

bit rude that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Rules are made to be broken,

If something doesn't feel right, just say so,

Sex and passion have very few rules, its about going with the flow,

Safety is one rule that cant be broken, so a safe word and condoms should be two things that don't change.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Have you had a meet where you'd agreed your 'rules' beforehand, but then during the meet the other person/ couple started changing the rules?

How did you handle it? My major "rule" is always condoms with a new "meet", be it with a single girl, or with a couple. I'm amazed at the number of times the girls "change their minds" during the meet and want bareback. I always refuse gently (despite being very tempted), and find that invariably the "refusal" is received ok. The thing that surprises me everytime is that their wanting bareback is a very common occurrence. Any other guys finding this?

I had someone block me last week when they asked if I wanted bareback or safe sex and I said safe

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Turns out they were a bi, soft swing cple, and although the woman was enjoying it (she had a go at the fella in front of me) it put a downer (pmsl) on the night, and I got my socks on.

Amaziing as they had loads, I mean loads of veris. Have no clue what they did with their other meets but on the drive home I was more than bamboozled

Nothing else was said and we finished with a double penetration...well, they did. He came inside her bum and she leapt off and got dressed before I was anywhere near climax.

bit rude that"

One rule of swinging and No strings sex, always cum first,

sex here is about self gratification, number one rule !!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Rules are made to be broken,

If something doesn't feel right, just say so,

Sex and passion have very few rules, its about going with the flow,

Safety is one rule that cant be broken, so a safe word and condoms should be two things that don't change."

I disagree, rules/boundaries set in place are not to be broken as would be breaking the trust (couple wise) of your OH and that is not good for a relationship!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Have you had a meet where you'd agreed your 'rules' beforehand, but then during the meet the other person/ couple started changing the rules?

Whereas I have found a number of men actually ask to do BB!

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"Have you had a meet where you'd agreed your 'rules' beforehand, but then during the meet the other person/ couple started changing the rules?

Whereas I have found a number of men actually ask to do BB! "

I find that too - and always have a stock of condoms on hand. You know, just in case they have 'forgotten' theirs.

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By *andyblokeMan over a year ago

birmingham

5 yrs ago i met a couple who wanted to video me playing with wifie..no penetration but oral was ok .Also undress slowly with lots of petting. Within 2 mins of being in the house, wifey appears and we start to kiss,2 mins later she is naked and ripping my clothes off.We play for maybe 5 mins when she climbs on top and slips onto me straight in for full sex. I wasnt sure what to do, i looked at hubby and he gives me a thumbs up....

Afterwards i got an email saying i undressed her too quickly and i should have taken the petting more slowly.Why did i have full sex with her? Bloody cheek!!Also could i do it again as the video hadnt worked properly. I felt i had been set up and used in some game they were playing..so we didnt meet again.I wouldnt have minded if they had been upfront about there needs or gameplay. Every meet since then i have had has stayed within boundaries and been great fun.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"5 yrs ago i met a couple who wanted to video me playing with wifie..no penetration but oral was ok .Also undress slowly with lots of petting. Within 2 mins of being in the house, wifey appears and we start to kiss,2 mins later she is naked and ripping my clothes off.We play for maybe 5 mins when she climbs on top and slips onto me straight in for full sex. I wasnt sure what to do, i looked at hubby and he gives me a thumbs up....

didnt know what to do??? lol.

this is the time for manrider to comment

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"we know our boundaries and will do anything that feels right within them.

she declined and we stopped playing with them.

cant be doing with any of that kind of shit"
there is always someone that ruins things or makes things difficult!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Not sure which is worse, one half of a couple changing the rules behind the other's back or both 'ganging up' on a person!

When it's happened to me I've carried on with what I'm comfortable with. One occasion I left the room because I wasn't happy at all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Have you had a meet where you'd agreed your 'rules' beforehand, but then during the meet the other person/ couple started changing the rules?

Whereas I have found a number of men actually ask to do BB!

I find that too - and always have a stock of condoms on hand. You know, just in case they have 'forgotten' theirs."

I also carry them in my bag because once on a meet in a hotel room, he failed to tell me that he had only one condom on him, after using the one, he threw in away and proceeded to turn me over to do doggy and tried to get away with BB. He seemed kind of annoyed when i produced mine, but by then i had really lost interest

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not sure which is worse, one half of a couple changing the rules behind the other's back or both 'ganging up' on a person!

When it's happened to me I've carried on with what I'm comfortable with. One occasion I left the room because I wasn't happy at all.

Someone i used to know used to change the rules all the time. We would set out what we was going to do etc. And more often or not the whole meet would be completely different !"!

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple over a year ago

Leicestershire

"Rules are made to be broken,

If something doesn't feel right, just say so,

Sex and passion have very few rules, its about going with the flow,

Safety is one rule that cant be broken, so a safe word and condoms should be two things that don't change.

I disagree, rules/boundaries set in place are not to be broken as would be breaking the trust (couple wise) of your OH and that is not good for a relationship! "

This is really important for us to. We also agree that for couples it's really important to protect the trust you share and this is one of the things we do to try and do that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Met a couple who's profile said mainly looking for women. They convinced us that although that was the case they were wanting to try a couple.

All going well and crystal and the guy are having a smoke. And the female says to me that they aren't ready for a couple and would it be ok if they had a 3sum and crystal played while I watched. When I said no she accused me of being unreasonable as I'd seen other men fuck crystal before so it wasn't like id get jealous. ..

Thankfully we'd been a little wary that this might happen and met them in a club

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Have you had a meet where you'd agreed your 'rules' beforehand, but then during the meet the other person/ couple started changing the rules?

How did you handle it? "

Not during the meet but I have had two couples message me on the day of the meet with some info they left out.

1) We only play bareback

2) M has to be allowed to perform oral on me

Feck off

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Have you had a meet where you'd agreed your 'rules' beforehand, but then during the meet the other person/ couple started changing the rules?

How did you handle it? "

When we first started swinging we had a very strict set of rules and boundaries .

As time went by we changed and adapted , often as a result of meets which had changes during them .

In each and every case we were glad our boundaries were pushed , and now 2 years down the line we don't have any rules etc... very much go with the flow and that works for us .

Providing the safe sex only ,and no male to male we are hapoy !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Rules are made to be broken,

If something doesn't feel right, just say so,

Sex and passion have very few rules, its about going with the flow,

Safety is one rule that cant be broken, so a safe word and condoms should be two things that don't change."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't really have or make any rules, I prefer to make a meet up as I go along rather than it being scripted before hand

The only thing that comes close to this was a guy I arranged to meet turned up with his mate without telling me anything about this, it made me a little weary so I just went home

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Not sure which is worse, one half of a couple changing the rules behind the other's back or both 'ganging up' on a person!

When it's happened to me I've carried on with what I'm comfortable with. One occasion I left the room because I wasn't happy at all.

Someone i used to know used to change the rules all the time. We would set out what we was going to do etc. And more often or not the whole meet would be completely different !"! "

Best not to know that kind of person.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not sure which is worse, one half of a couple changing the rules behind the other's back or both 'ganging up' on a person!

This is why I am hesitant about meeting couples, I get a lot of views from local couples but they are filtered out at the moment.

I have broken 'rules' socials that have turned into more, we both discussed and agreed that it felt right so just go with the flow.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/12/13 14:11:55]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not sure which is worse, one half of a couple changing the rules behind the other's back or both 'ganging up' on a person!

This is why I am hesitant about meeting couples, I get a lot of views from local couples but they are filtered out at the moment.

I have broken 'rules' socials that have turned into more, we both discussed and agreed that it felt right so just go with the flow."

I have done this as well

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