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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok, so I'm not saying that it's JUST men who are guilty of this ... BUT .... Why do most men seem to spit their dummies out if you're not interested in them? It's like they think being a member of a swinging site ENTITLES them to free sex on tap.
If I can see a 'U ok' message in my inbox, it will just get deleted straight away ... But then, 9 times out of 10, the abuse will follow. If someone has taken the time to read my profile and send a message that shows an ounce of intelligence, I will always reply, even if it's a 'Thanks but No Thanks' .... And again, cue the abuse!!
I guess my question is this: if someone isn't interested in you, would you rather they just ignore your message or be up front about it and just tell you, because I can't win either way at the minute! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Try turning down a 'lady' and see what happens!  "
Haha, I've never had to experience that one! But I've also said it's probably not just men, I'm only going off my own experiences recently |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"'most' men? Painting with broad strokes aren't we...
Very disengenuous.....was it you?  "
Lol, no. I don't think I've actually mailed anyone regarding a new meet in months. As for being rejected, shit happens and I havebetter things to do rather than send abuse... |
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I used to reply and say sorry not interested but thank you for your message. But got some horrible messages back. So now I don't reply. I feel guilty but I'm not that think skinned and can't take abuse haha xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Save yourself the worry - if the message was that shit and you're definitely not interested in them (and won't be - ever!) then just use that permanent filter 'The Block Button'.
No chance of a rude, abusive message - and you're in fact doing them a good deed and freeing up literally seconds of their future lives by saving them messaging you again!
Think of it as a charitable act!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"9 times out of 10 you get abuse?
Seriously?
It tends to be worse if I tell them they aren't my type. That's when the 'fat' abuse starts haha!!"
Then once you have said no thank you block them  |
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I want a man.
But i want one; sexy, honest, open minded, trustworthy, reliable, accepts me for who i am & one that has a sex life for more than a few weeks/ months :-\
Thing is. That's as hard to find as it is for people of any gender, status or site experience, to accept rejection |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never had any comeback from deleting a 'how are you' message, nor a rude reply to a polite 'No, thank you' from me. Most send a last 'thank you for your reply and good luck' message.
Only had one rude message in all these months, and that one came out of the blue, from a total stranger. |
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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago
Manchester and that's all you need to know |
"They must be awfully fierce up north, I've only had maybe two rude replies in the 10 months I've been on Fab. (One quite personal actually). "
Why do people have to get personal? No means no simple as. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am guilty of asking for a reply but rarely. That is because, the time taken to read the bio and create a message to answer any questions and put forward your best points.
For me it's generally formed through frustration. That is a one time excuse and just accept I am a single guy competing with hundreds of others.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I appreciate it when i have a reply that says thanks but no thanks !
I always feel that manners maketh man... If it's not right for one then it's not right for either..Thats life, never need to personal just polite... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They must be awfully fierce up north, I've only had maybe two rude replies in the 10 months I've been on Fab. (One quite personal actually).
Why do people have to get personal? No means no simple as."
The funny thing is I hadn't said no. I just didn't get back to him fast enough and evidently I was too fat for him anyway. Good riddance I say! |
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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago
Manchester and that's all you need to know |
"I appreciate it when i have a reply that says thanks but no thanks !
I always feel that manners maketh man... If it's not right for one then it's not right for either..Thats life, never need to personal just polite..."
But soem time with a polite no thanks comes the why's..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I will reply to well written messages but not the "hiya" types.
Never gotten a horrid message back because of, normally the opposite,.
But some men are guilty of spitting their dummies out if things dont go their way.....just as some women do....cpls etc. |
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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago
Manchester and that's all you need to know |
"They must be awfully fierce up north, I've only had maybe two rude replies in the 10 months I've been on Fab. (One quite personal actually).
Why do people have to get personal? No means no simple as.
The funny thing is I hadn't said no. I just didn't get back to him fast enough and evidently I was too fat for him anyway. Good riddance I say! "
Too FAT!!!!! He must have been lining you up for his Christmas dinner then. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, so I'm not saying that it's JUST men who are guilty of this ... BUT .... Why do most men seem to spit their dummies out if you're not interested in them? It's like they think being a member of a swinging site ENTITLES them to free sex on tap.
If I can see a 'U ok' message in my inbox, it will just get deleted straight away ... But then, 9 times out of 10, the abuse will follow. If someone has taken the time to read my profile and send a message that shows an ounce of intelligence, I will always reply, even if it's a 'Thanks but No Thanks' .... And again, cue the abuse!!
I guess my question is this: if someone isn't interested in you, would you rather they just ignore your message or be up front about it and just tell you, because I can't win either way at the minute! "
I can't say yes or no to if you Are right about most men, however I'm not like that and would rather a person was honest to me...then maybe if it's something I can change then all the better,but if it's down to looks or cock size then then not a lot I can do....but saying that I always read profiles then decide if I am what they are looking for...
Read yours and I'm not what you are looking for so would not waste mine or your time ..... |
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By *treakMan
over a year ago
Crewe |
I would think every man would prefer a reply even if it simply said ' no thank you ', I know I would.
There are so many on here that choose to delete without any response what so ever, and I think this is why some men get abusive, but in all honesty, being abusive is only letting themselves down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They must be awfully fierce up north, I've only had maybe two rude replies in the 10 months I've been on Fab. (One quite personal actually).
Why do people have to get personal? No means no simple as.
The funny thing is I hadn't said no. I just didn't get back to him fast enough and evidently I was too fat for him anyway. Good riddance I say!
Too FAT!!!!! He must have been lining you up for his Christmas dinner then."
Maybe... I quite like a little stuffing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my experience, they dont?
Most just say no problem, have fun.
Am I the odd one out?"
No Not odd. We find that most guys can be suprisingly polite when you say no thanks, although we have had a few bitchy remarks from couples about being "up ourselves" whatever that means when we say no not for us.
Takes al types and the trick is not to get wound up. There are fukwits in every walk of life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want a man.
But i want one; sexy, honest, open minded, trustworthy, reliable, accepts me for who i am & one that has a sex life for more than a few weeks/ months :-\
Thing is. That's as hard to find as it is for people of any gender, status or site experience, to accept rejection "
Question is are you able to provide the same things you require from him?
.
A lot of people list off all these things a man must have but then very often don't reflect those same ideals |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer either a thanks but no thanks or just delete the message, it's always a bit annoying just seeing "been read" because dunno if they do what I do in read the message intending to reply later but with the barrage of messages many recive it might have gotten lost and forgotten.
Never message again though as don't want to be a twat lol.
normally I just delete the one line "come fuck now" no picture messages, I never get any abuse though when I say "sorry you're not my type" I wish I did I could do with a laugh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a man on this site, I've had messages deleted, "been read" and also some polite "no thank you" messages.
If it bothers me, that is my problem, and I'll not send abusive messages to who ever it is isn't interested in me. I'm sure plenty do, though, from what I've read in the forums and on profiles.
I was more or less laughed at once, and while that hurt, a quick muttered "fuck you" as I pressed the block button did the trick. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the last thanks but no thanks we sent ended up with him messaging numerous times asking why? Why? Why? And saying he could change. The problem was he wasn't bi? So that's easy to change then is it nowadays!!!  |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I want a man.
But i want one; sexy, honest, open minded, trustworthy, reliable, accepts me for who i am & one that has a sex life for more than a few weeks/ months :-\
Thing is. That's as hard to find as it is for people of any gender, status or site experience, to accept rejection "
Can I have one as well please?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My guess would be that they are the type prone to abusing girlfriends / wives and figure that if they attack and insult you your self confidence will fall to an all time low, you will see the error of your way and shag them as you "cant do any better" .... if they abuse you for not being interested ... take it as a validation of your decision ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest I would not do that if someone turned me down, but saying that I have been looking for a long time with no luck, ok i'm not the best looking bloke in the world, I don't message now I just wink at them now, as a single male I kind of know whats coming, a big fat no  |
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"I want a man.
But i want one; sexy, honest, open minded, trustworthy, reliable, accepts me for who i am & one that has a sex life for more than a few weeks/ months :-\
Thing is. That's as hard to find as it is for people of any gender, status or site experience, to accept rejection
Question is are you able to provide the same things you require from
A lot of people list off all these things a man must have but then very often don't reflect those same ideals"
No i offer much much more. I cook, clean, iron, drive, have club memberships & A generous budget for gifts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ANOTHER , single man bashing thread . I could post loads of stories about less than nice women I've encountered on here , but I don't ! Why because I'm a MAN , a GentleMAN . Don't air your dirty laundry in publics girls , it just makes you look bitter and twisted . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I want a man.
But i want one; sexy, honest, open minded, trustworthy, reliable, accepts me for who i am & one that has a sex life for more than a few weeks/ months :-\
Thing is. That's as hard to find as it is for people of any gender, status or site experience, to accept rejection
Question is are you able to provide the same things you require from
A lot of people list off all these things a man must have but then very often don't reflect those same ideals
No i offer much much more. I cook, clean, iron, drive, have club memberships & A generous budget for gifts "
If those gifts include ice cream, I'm your man :D |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Hmmm.
I have to say, OP, my experiences are different to yours.
I have rarely had any comeback, never mind abuse, as a result of leaving a message unread or deleting it without reply.
I've rarely been insulted for saying no thanks. I've definitely not been insulted 9 times out of 10.
Some men deal with rejection poorly but in my experience, the vast majority deal with the repeated rejection and frequent bashing of single men with great restraint and decorum.
I'd say for taking rejection badly, women and couples are far, far worse. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"ANOTHER , single man bashing thread . I could post loads of stories about less than nice women I've encountered on here , but I don't ! Why because I'm a MAN , a GentleMAN . Don't air your dirty laundry in publics girls , it just makes you look bitter and twisted . "
I am twisted You say it like it's a bad thing |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"In my experience, they dont?
Most just say no problem, have fun.
Am I the odd one out?
No Not odd. We find that most guys can be suprisingly polite when you say no thanks, although we have had a few bitchy remarks from couples about being "up ourselves" whatever that means when we say no not for us.
"
Same here. I normally respond to all messages. Even if it's a no thanks. I have found 99% are polite. |
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yes I have had the dummy spitters .the "well why no" brigade . also the ones where you go from sex goddess to slapper all because of the word no. you will always find the "entitled " and rude anywhere in life .just see it on here as dodging a bullet .they have actually saved you wasting any further time or thought on them and clearly not someone youd want to meet anyway. so I say thank em ! plus as ppl said the block button is a gift. leaves you to speak to the many decent folks on fab x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just happened to me in the last 30 mins.. I winked, she winked, she mailed, I mailed back, my mail deleted with no reply.
No problem, next please. I'll not trouble her again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My experience is quite different to yours OP I have to admit. It says on my profile that I'll delete all 'Hi/how's you/Nice legs' messages, and I do more often than not but I've never had an abusive message for doing so.
This morning I said thank you but no thanks to three men and I had polite thank you and good luck messages back. I've said no to a few fairly local men too and they still chat to me. They're always polite and friendly and that's not because they're still trying their luck!
I can only comment on the single men that message me obviously but I find most of them polite and respectful. I still get the odd chancer from 300+ miles away mind but that's the nature of this site. So 99.9% of the time, I like the single men on this site |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"ANOTHER , single man bashing thread . I could post loads of stories about less than nice women I've encountered on here , but I don't ! Why because I'm a MAN , a GentleMAN . Don't air your dirty laundry in publics girls , it just makes you look bitter and twisted . "
If you READ the post, I've said it's not necessarily just men .... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"yes I have had the dummy spitters .the "well why no" brigade . also the ones where you go from sex goddess to slapper all because of the word no. you will always find the "entitled " and rude anywhere in life .just see it on here as dodging a bullet .they have actually saved you wasting any further time or thought on them and clearly not someone youd want to meet anyway. so I say thank em ! plus as ppl said the block button is a gift. leaves you to speak to the many decent folks on fab x "
 Amen! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"ANOTHER , single man bashing thread . I could post loads of stories about less than nice women I've encountered on here , but I don't ! Why because I'm a MAN , a GentleMAN . Don't air your dirty laundry in publics girls , it just makes you look bitter and twisted .
If you READ the post, I've said it's not necessarily just men .... "
so why title the thread "men!" not "douchebags of all genders!" ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"ANOTHER , single man bashing thread . I could post loads of stories about less than nice women I've encountered on here , but I don't ! Why because I'm a MAN , a GentleMAN . Don't air your dirty laundry in publics girls , it just makes you look bitter and twisted .
If you READ the post, I've said it's not necessarily just men ....
so why title the thread "men!" not "douchebags of all genders!" ?"
Because I am talking about MY experiences, but I know it probably happens to men from women!
What's this, the male version of feminism  lol. Don't take it so personally, I know all single men aren't the same! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some people get a bit aggressive when you say no, yet seem to think you should be attracted to them even if they have never sent you a face pic, tee hee"
wait, you mean you don't find the blank silhouette guy irresistibly fuckable? |
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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago
Manchester and that's all you need to know |
"Some people get a bit aggressive when you say no, yet seem to think you should be attracted to them even if they have never sent you a face pic, tee hee
wait, you mean you don't find the blank silhouette guy irresistibly fuckable? "
That pussy on your head look cute. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"ANOTHER , single man bashing thread . I could post loads of stories about less than nice women I've encountered on here , but I don't ! Why because I'm a MAN , a GentleMAN . Don't air your dirty laundry in publics girls , it just makes you look bitter and twisted .
If you READ the post, I've said it's not necessarily just men ....
so why title the thread "men!" not "douchebags of all genders!" ?
Because I am talking about MY experiences, but I know it probably happens to men from women!
What's this, the male version of feminism lol. Don't take it so personally, I know all single men aren't the same!"
It's a bit difficult for men not to get fed up with it when they are attacked and criticised on an almost daily basis just for being men.
You did mention it's not just the men, but then focus on the men. I can see why they get fed up with it to be honest.
My suggestion is, if you seem to be attracting mostly abusive men, either send a polite no thanks message in response to their message, or no message, and then block them.
No abusive messages and you can be sure they'll never accidentally or intentionally contact you again. You're not interested in them so you lose nothing by blocking them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some people get a bit aggressive when you say no, yet seem to think you should be attracted to them even if they have never sent you a face pic, tee hee
wait, you mean you don't find the blank silhouette guy irresistibly fuckable?
That pussy on your head look cute."
It's a husky
|
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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago
Manchester and that's all you need to know |
"Some people get a bit aggressive when you say no, yet seem to think you should be attracted to them even if they have never sent you a face pic, tee hee
wait, you mean you don't find the blank silhouette guy irresistibly fuckable?
That pussy on your head look cute.
It's a husky
"
I don't even know what a husky is  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some people get a bit aggressive when you say no, yet seem to think you should be attracted to them even if they have never sent you a face pic, tee hee
wait, you mean you don't find the blank silhouette guy irresistibly fuckable?
That pussy on your head look cute.
It's a husky
I don't even know what a husky is "
its a big hairy dog, normally from the cold climates |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"ANOTHER , single man bashing thread . I could post loads of stories about less than nice women I've encountered on here , but I don't ! Why because I'm a MAN , a GentleMAN . Don't air your dirty laundry in publics girls , it just makes you look bitter and twisted .
If you READ the post, I've said it's not necessarily just men ....
so why title the thread "men!" not "douchebags of all genders!" ?
Because I am talking about MY experiences, but I know it probably happens to men from women!
What's this, the male version of feminism lol. Don't take it so personally, I know all single men aren't the same!"
if you say so.
i actually just had a read of your profile, from after the meet stuff and into the actual profile.
From line one it's pretty hostile and tbh, most of the "nice/normal/non hostile guys" will probably be put off an not bother, which i'm gonna guess goes to contributing to why you seem to encounter a lot more abusive messages than everyone else in this thread because they're the ones who see that kind of language/behavior as more normal and don't pass by.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some people get a bit aggressive when you say no, yet seem to think you should be attracted to them even if they have never sent you a face pic, tee hee
wait, you mean you don't find the blank silhouette guy irresistibly fuckable?
That pussy on your head look cute.
It's a husky
I don't even know what a husky is "
like a wolf but cute and doesn't try to eat you :p |
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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago
Manchester and that's all you need to know |
"Some people get a bit aggressive when you say no, yet seem to think you should be attracted to them even if they have never sent you a face pic, tee hee
wait, you mean you don't find the blank silhouette guy irresistibly fuckable?
That pussy on your head look cute.
It's a husky
I don't even know what a husky is
its a big hairy dog, normally from the cold climates "
A Dog....Blimey it looked like a furry pussy to me...Sorry |
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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago
Manchester and that's all you need to know |
"Some people get a bit aggressive when you say no, yet seem to think you should be attracted to them even if they have never sent you a face pic, tee hee
wait, you mean you don't find the blank silhouette guy irresistibly fuckable?
That pussy on your head look cute.
It's a husky
I don't even know what a husky is
like a wolf but cute and doesn't try to eat you :p"
Erm....Do you wear it in the bedroom |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some people get a bit aggressive when you say no, yet seem to think you should be attracted to them even if they have never sent you a face pic, tee hee
wait, you mean you don't find the blank silhouette guy irresistibly fuckable?
That pussy on your head look cute.
It's a husky
I don't even know what a husky is
like a wolf but cute and doesn't try to eat you :p
Erm....Do you wear it in the bedroom "
#
No, but i have been asked to :o |
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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago
Manchester and that's all you need to know |
"Some people get a bit aggressive when you say no, yet seem to think you should be attracted to them even if they have never sent you a face pic, tee hee
wait, you mean you don't find the blank silhouette guy irresistibly fuckable?
That pussy on your head look cute.
It's a husky
I don't even know what a husky is
like a wolf but cute and doesn't try to eat you :p
Erm....Do you wear it in the bedroom
#
No, but i have been asked to :o "
Yes please |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some people get a bit aggressive when you say no, yet seem to think you should be attracted to them even if they have never sent you a face pic, tee hee
wait, you mean you don't find the blank silhouette guy irresistibly fuckable?
That pussy on your head look cute.
It's a husky
I don't even know what a husky is
like a wolf but cute and doesn't try to eat you :p
Erm....Do you wear it in the bedroom
#
No, but i have been asked to :o
Yes please "
Well I'm often out round Manchester an with the colder weather usually wearing it so if you see me out an about feel free to come give him a pat :p |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"ANOTHER , single man bashing thread . I could post loads of stories about less than nice women I've encountered on here , but I don't ! Why because I'm a MAN , a GentleMAN . Don't air your dirty laundry in publics girls , it just makes you look bitter and twisted .
If you READ the post, I've said it's not necessarily just men ....
so why title the thread "men!" not "douchebags of all genders!" ?
Because I am talking about MY experiences, but I know it probably happens to men from women!
What's this, the male version of feminism lol. Don't take it so personally, I know all single men aren't the same!
if you say so.
i actually just had a read of your profile, from after the meet stuff and into the actual profile.
From line one it's pretty hostile and tbh, most of the "nice/normal/non hostile guys" will probably be put off an not bother, which i'm gonna guess goes to contributing to why you seem to encounter a lot more abusive messages than everyone else in this thread because they're the ones who see that kind of language/behavior as more normal and don't pass by.
"
Line one is ***club meets*** ... Don't see how that's hostile
'Everyone else' is far too general a term, a few others have said they get abusive messages too
I'm not going to get into a personal debate about what people do/ don't choose to write in their profiles, because I don't choose to behave that way |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"ANOTHER , single man bashing thread . I could post loads of stories about less than nice women I've encountered on here , but I don't ! Why because I'm a MAN , a GentleMAN . Don't air your dirty laundry in publics girls , it just makes you look bitter and twisted .
If you READ the post, I've said it's not necessarily just men ....
so why title the thread "men!" not "douchebags of all genders!" ?
Because I am talking about MY experiences, but I know it probably happens to men from women!
What's this, the male version of feminism lol. Don't take it so personally, I know all single men aren't the same!
if you say so.
i actually just had a read of your profile, from after the meet stuff and into the actual profile.
From line one it's pretty hostile and tbh, most of the "nice/normal/non hostile guys" will probably be put off an not bother, which i'm gonna guess goes to contributing to why you seem to encounter a lot more abusive messages than everyone else in this thread because they're the ones who see that kind of language/behavior as more normal and don't pass by.
Line one is ***club meets*** ... Don't see how that's hostile
'Everyone else' is far too general a term, a few others have said they get abusive messages too
I'm not going to get into a personal debate about what people do/ don't choose to write in their profiles, because I don't choose to behave that way "
Sorry *** upcoming club meets ***
Phew glad I corrected myself before I get a thrashing haha!
My profile may come across as hostile to you, but I know what I want and won't settle for anything less. I get just as bored of the 'hey how's u' messages as everyone else.
Anyway, moving on! |
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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago
Manchester and that's all you need to know |
"Some people get a bit aggressive when you say no, yet seem to think you should be attracted to them even if they have never sent you a face pic, tee hee
wait, you mean you don't find the blank silhouette guy irresistibly fuckable?
That pussy on your head look cute.
It's a husky
I don't even know what a husky is
like a wolf but cute and doesn't try to eat you :p
Erm....Do you wear it in the bedroom
#
No, but i have been asked to :o
Yes please
Well I'm often out round Manchester an with the colder weather usually wearing it so if you see me out an about feel free to come give him a pat :p"
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"the way some profiles are worded, obviously attract a certain type of reply."
Yeah I agree! But not everyone reads a profile before messaging.
Like I said, the post wasn't opened to thrash my profile. The wording on my profile is my choice. The question was, would you prefer a 'thanks, but no thanks' response or just for your message to be deleted! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"ANOTHER , single man bashing thread . I could post loads of stories about less than nice women I've encountered on here , but I don't ! Why because I'm a MAN , a GentleMAN . Don't air your dirty laundry in publics girls , it just makes you look bitter and twisted .
If you READ the post, I've said it's not necessarily just men ....
so why title the thread "men!" not "douchebags of all genders!" ?
Because I am talking about MY experiences, but I know it probably happens to men from women!
What's this, the male version of feminism lol. Don't take it so personally, I know all single men aren't the same!
if you say so.
i actually just had a read of your profile, from after the meet stuff and into the actual profile.
From line one it's pretty hostile and tbh, most of the "nice/normal/non hostile guys" will probably be put off an not bother, which i'm gonna guess goes to contributing to why you seem to encounter a lot more abusive messages than everyone else in this thread because they're the ones who see that kind of language/behavior as more normal and don't pass by.
Line one is ***club meets*** ... Don't see how that's hostile
'Everyone else' is far too general a term, a few others have said they get abusive messages too
I'm not going to get into a personal debate about what people do/ don't choose to write in their profiles, because I don't choose to behave that way
Sorry *** upcoming club meets ***
Phew glad I corrected myself before I get a thrashing haha!
My profile may come across as hostile to you, but I know what I want and won't settle for anything less. I get just as bored of the 'hey how's u' messages as everyone else.
Anyway, moving on!"
That's why i said after the upcoming meets section.
and who said anything about "accepting less"
All i said is it comes across as hostile/combative so you're going to find that mostly people who are of a similar attitude will respond those who are not will move on. and yes others have said they get abusive messages but they also said that did not get them in the incredibly high frequency you claim to get them.
I have no desire to "thrash" your profile or judge you or anything else of the sort, simply saying what may be the cause of your problem.
I suppose I'm just the type who'd rather fix an issue than leave it be an moan about the outcome.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some people get a bit aggressive when you say no, yet seem to think you should be attracted to them even if they have never sent you a face pic, tee hee
wait, you mean you don't find the blank silhouette guy irresistibly fuckable?
That pussy on your head look cute.
It's a husky
I don't even know what a husky is
like a wolf but cute and doesn't try to eat you :p
Erm....Do you wear it in the bedroom
#
No, but i have been asked to :o
Yes please
Well I'm often out round Manchester an with the colder weather usually wearing it so if you see me out an about feel free to come give him a pat :p
"
Just don't try to steal him
some mean d*unk ladies tried to buy him off me today an when i said no tried to nick him  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"the way some profiles are worded, obviously attract a certain type of reply.
Yeah I agree! But not everyone reads a profile before messaging.
Like I said, the post wasn't opened to thrash my profile. The wording on my profile is my choice. The question was, would you prefer a 'thanks, but no thanks' response or just for your message to be deleted! "
"But then, 9 times out of 10, the abuse will follow. If someone has taken the time to read my profile and send a message that shows an ounce of intelligence,"
You state that in 9 cases out of 10 abuse will follow, so maybe it is how you act or word your profile, just a thought. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some people get a bit aggressive when you say no, yet seem to think you should be attracted to them even if they have never sent you a face pic, tee hee
wait, you mean you don't find the blank silhouette guy irresistibly fuckable?
That pussy on your head look cute.
It's a husky
"
Nevermind the hat I've just checked out your pics the ass is better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've blown a guy out today! He didn't like it, also spoke to him on a fishy dating site a while ago. Said I didn't want to meet him as didn't think we would get along. Only to be told he join the site got a meet within the hour it was easy!! Oh and I'm mental haha shame I didn't get the chance to point out some women on here have standards and don't just fuck for the sake of it befor he blocked me haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've blown a guy out today! He didn't like it, also spoke to him on a fishy dating site a while ago. Said I didn't want to meet him as didn't think we would get along. Only to be told he join the site got a meet within the hour it was easy!! Oh and I'm mental haha shame I didn't get the chance to point out some women on here have standards and don't just fuck for the sake of it befor he blocked me haha "
I think some people on this post have taken it far too personally. 9 out of 10 is obviously a massive over exaggeration on my part, but it does happen.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've blown a guy out today! He didn't like it, also spoke to him on a fishy dating site a while ago. Said I didn't want to meet him as didn't think we would get along. Only to be told he join the site got a meet within the hour it was easy!! Oh and I'm mental haha shame I didn't get the chance to point out some women on here have standards and don't just fuck for the sake of it befor he blocked me haha
I think some people on this post have taken it far too personally. 9 out of 10 is obviously a massive over exaggeration on my part, but it does happen.
"
As has been said already block if your not intersted and that way you won't have to start threads about a whole gender  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally ........ I'm tired of sending a message for it to be binned. I don't get abusive or bitter, I have better things to do with my time, but acknowledgement of the message with a simple reply wouldn't hurt. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Personally ........ I'm tired of sending a message for it to be binned. I don't get abusive or bitter, I have better things to do with my time, but acknowledgement of the message with a simple reply wouldn't hurt. "
Thank you for a relevant answer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"ANOTHER , single man bashing thread . I could post loads of stories about less than nice women I've encountered on here , but I don't ! Why because I'm a MAN , a GentleMAN . Don't air your dirty laundry in publics girls , it just makes you look bitter and twisted .
If you READ the post, I've said it's not necessarily just men ....
so why title the thread "men!" not "douchebags of all genders!" ?
Because I am talking about MY experiences, but I know it probably happens to men from women!
What's this, the male version of feminism lol. Don't take it so personally, I know all single men aren't the same!
if you say so.
i actually just had a read of your profile, from after the meet stuff and into the actual profile.
From line one it's pretty hostile and tbh, most of the "nice/normal/non hostile guys" will probably be put off an not bother, which i'm gonna guess goes to contributing to why you seem to encounter a lot more abusive messages than everyone else in this thread because they're the ones who see that kind of language/behavior as more normal and don't pass by.
Line one is ***club meets*** ... Don't see how that's hostile
'Everyone else' is far too general a term, a few others have said they get abusive messages too
I'm not going to get into a personal debate about what people do/ don't choose to write in their profiles, because I don't choose to behave that way
Sorry *** upcoming club meets ***
Phew glad I corrected myself before I get a thrashing haha!
My profile may come across as hostile to you, but I know what I want and won't settle for anything less. I get just as bored of the 'hey how's u' messages as everyone else.
Anyway, moving on!"
Your profile doesn't look hostile at all to me. Not sure if you've changed it.
Report abusive messages. Block them if they won't take "no thanks" for an answer.
Have fun. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"ANOTHER , single man bashing thread . I could post loads of stories about less than nice women I've encountered on here , but I don't ! Why because I'm a MAN , a GentleMAN . Don't air your dirty laundry in publics girls , it just makes you look bitter and twisted .
If you READ the post, I've said it's not necessarily just men ....
so why title the thread "men!" not "douchebags of all genders!" ?
Because I am talking about MY experiences, but I know it probably happens to men from women!
What's this, the male version of feminism lol. Don't take it so personally, I know all single men aren't the same!
if you say so.
i actually just had a read of your profile, from after the meet stuff and into the actual profile.
From line one it's pretty hostile and tbh, most of the "nice/normal/non hostile guys" will probably be put off an not bother, which i'm gonna guess goes to contributing to why you seem to encounter a lot more abusive messages than everyone else in this thread because they're the ones who see that kind of language/behavior as more normal and don't pass by.
Line one is ***club meets*** ... Don't see how that's hostile
'Everyone else' is far too general a term, a few others have said they get abusive messages too
I'm not going to get into a personal debate about what people do/ don't choose to write in their profiles, because I don't choose to behave that way
Sorry *** upcoming club meets ***
Phew glad I corrected myself before I get a thrashing haha!
My profile may come across as hostile to you, but I know what I want and won't settle for anything less. I get just as bored of the 'hey how's u' messages as everyone else.
Anyway, moving on!
Your profile doesn't look hostile at all to me. Not sure if you've changed it.
Report abusive messages. Block them if they won't take "no thanks" for an answer.
Have fun. "
Noooooo I haven't changed it, and I won't be changing it either! I have no problem arranging meets so it can't be that much of a deterrent
We can't all be everyone's cup of tea! That would just be boring |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Nevermind the hat I've just checked out your pics the ass is better. "
is it too embarrassing to admit, that your bum photo made me add you to my hot list so i can eventually message you when my birthday comes and I'm unfiltered :p |
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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago
Manchester and that's all you need to know |
I don't understand why people get bothered over a deleted message.
If I sent a message and didn't get a response within a day or two than I would take it as a no. I wouldn't go checking the sent screen to see if its been read ect. |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
I ve often read threads about abusive messages, I don t understand why anyone would send a message of such content its only going to serve as a confirmation of their original thoughts,, ie "not for me,,!" its a distinct possibility in the Close knit community such as this that the name (s) of these people will become known and result in less not more meets,,
take a block as a thanks but no thanks,
a deleted message as a thanks but no thanks,,
Guys I m always staggered at the need for a reply,,, why waste more of anyones time with a message saying thanks but no thanks,, the person who Whilst writing One or the person reading One you might just be missing out on the one who would be wanting the fun with you,
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Having been on here for 18 months and on both accounts only ever had two abusive messages. One was from a TV and completely out of the blue and the other was a guy who had messaged the couple a/c.
So you saying 9 times out of 10 OP is surprising! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
have turned down lots of people on this site, men, women and couples, and out of all of those, maybe 3 insulting messages, and of them, 2 were probably my own fault as i could have been a little more polite in my reply. and the 1 left, wasnt even really a reply, was just an insulting message sent without prompting.
maybe you should look at the way you are saying 'thanks, but no thanks' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Save yourself the worry - if the message was that shit and you're definitely not interested in them (and won't be - ever!) then just use that permanent filter 'The Block Button'.
No chance of a rude, abusive message - and you're in fact doing them a good deed and freeing up literally seconds of their future lives by saving them messaging you again!
Think of it as a charitable act! "
I agree |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"have turned down lots of people on this site, men, women and couples, and out of all of those, maybe 3 insulting messages, and of them, 2 were probably my own fault as i could have been a little more polite in my reply. and the 1 left, wasnt even really a reply, was just an insulting message sent without prompting.
maybe you should look at the way you are saying 'thanks, but no thanks'"
I've had more than that. My message is always, 'no thank you'. Simple as. I never give reasons and details.
To say that the recipient of the abuse is at fault seems to be a case of blaming the victim.
A polite no thanks is fine and should be enough. Sadly, for some, it is not. I had one guy bemoan that I was the third person in a short space of time to turn him down. His first message was appalling - crude and disrespectful. He then told me I was 'ruff as fuck' (sic) and that he was just hoping to find someone to suck him off.
Needless to say I then went into great detail as to why I, and most likely others, had turned him down before blocking him.
Some people, regardless of gender, are simply twats. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"have turned down lots of people on this site, men, women and couples, and out of all of those, maybe 3 insulting messages, and of them, 2 were probably my own fault as i could have been a little more polite in my reply. and the 1 left, wasnt even really a reply, was just an insulting message sent without prompting.
maybe you should look at the way you are saying 'thanks, but no thanks'
I've had more than that. My message is always, 'no thank you'. Simple as. I never give reasons and details.
To say that the recipient of the abuse is at fault seems to be a case of blaming the victim.
A polite no thanks is fine and should be enough. Sadly, for some, it is not. I had one guy bemoan that I was the third person in a short space of time to turn him down. His first message was appalling - crude and disrespectful. He then told me I was 'ruff as fuck' (sic) and that he was just hoping to find someone to suck him off.
Needless to say I then went into great detail as to why I, and most likely others, had turned him down before blocking him.
Some people, regardless of gender, are simply twats."
must be different for single women then as thats pretty much exactly what we send back, usually with 'wish you good luck in your future search' |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"have turned down lots of people on this site, men, women and couples, and out of all of those, maybe 3 insulting messages, and of them, 2 were probably my own fault as i could have been a little more polite in my reply. and the 1 left, wasnt even really a reply, was just an insulting message sent without prompting.
maybe you should look at the way you are saying 'thanks, but no thanks'
I've had more than that. My message is always, 'no thank you'. Simple as. I never give reasons and details.
To say that the recipient of the abuse is at fault seems to be a case of blaming the victim.
A polite no thanks is fine and should be enough. Sadly, for some, it is not. I had one guy bemoan that I was the third person in a short space of time to turn him down. His first message was appalling - crude and disrespectful. He then told me I was 'ruff as fuck' (sic) and that he was just hoping to find someone to suck him off.
Needless to say I then went into great detail as to why I, and most likely others, had turned him down before blocking him.
Some people, regardless of gender, are simply twats.
must be different for single women then as thats pretty much exactly what we send back, usually with 'wish you good luck in your future search'"
Don't know whether it is different for single women - though from the evidence on here it may seem to be - but it is certainly my experience. I am always polite even when I have had a dodgy message.
To be fair - the abuse is not the majority. Often the message is merely deleted and not responded to which is ideal. Sometimes they respond with a 'thanks for letting me know'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If I can see a 'U ok' message in my inbox, it will just get deleted straight away ... But then, 9 times out of 10, the abuse will follow. If someone has taken the time to read my profile and send a message that shows an ounce of intelligence, I will always reply, even if it's a 'Thanks but No Thanks' .... And again, cue the abuse!!
I guess my question is this: if someone isn't interested in you, would you rather they just ignore your message or be up front about it and just tell you, because I can't win either way at the minute! "
Delete and block is your best bet for the one liners I reckon. Saves getting shitty follow up messages off them.
Personally, I prefer it if someone replies with "sorry not interested" or suchlike, than no reply at all, but I reckon some people get so many messages they just don't have the time.
Not a massive problem for me tbh.
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Try turning down a 'lady' and see what happens!
I got a barrage of abuse from a woman asking me who I thought I was for turning her down"
Like I said before. Twattery is not gender-specific. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I can't speak for others but for me it's simple. If a message gets deleted it's simply a case of move on, their not interested and I must respect that.
I imagine that a lot of people on here are bombarded with messages and through that comes the power of choice. You can't spend all your time trying to let people down gently...
We are all adults and sometimes we get rejected ... get over it.
If you can't take the odd rejection your on the wrong site.
I think for blokes especially though there's a testosterone fueled ego complex. Best thing to do I think is if someone gives you abuse because you don't reply... Report, block, move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Try turning down a 'lady' and see what happens!
I got a barrage of abuse from a woman asking me who I thought I was for turning her down"
I guess some people on here think they are gods gift! If I get to meet a sexy man for a drink maybe more I'm grateful he wants to meet me. If I see a good looking guy and I message him and he turns me down so be it! Just because the odds are in my favour I would never presume I'm guaranteed a meet! |
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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago
hertfordshire |
"the way some profiles are worded, obviously attract a certain type of reply.
Yeah I agree! But not everyone reads a profile before messaging.
Like I said, the post wasn't opened to thrash my profile. The wording on my profile is my choice. The question was, would you prefer a 'thanks, but no
thanks' response or just for your message to be deleted! "
both mean the same imo |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Ok, so I've had quite a few message today and I've deleted the ones I haven't been interested in without any repercussions (as yet!). One of the messages specifically said at the end 'If I'm not your type, a simple no thank you will do'. So I thought, while he has specifically asked, I'll reply to his message with 'No thanks'. The reply I got was 'whatever you fat fuck' and I was blocked before I had chance to reply back lol. There's some right strange people on here x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Save yourself the worry - if the message was that shit and you're definitely not interested in them (and won't be - ever!) then just use that permanent filter 'The Block Button'.
No chance of a rude, abusive message - and you're in fact doing them a good deed and freeing up literally seconds of their future lives by saving them messaging you again!
Think of it as a charitable act! "
Couldn't of put it better myself! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok, so I'm not saying that it's JUST men who are guilty of this ... BUT .... Why do most men seem to spit their dummies out if you're not interested in them? It's like they think being a member of a swinging site ENTITLES them to free sex on tap.
If I can see a 'U ok' message in my inbox, it will just get deleted straight away ... But then, 9 times out of 10, the abuse will follow. If someone has taken the time to read my profile and send a message that shows an ounce of intelligence, I will always reply, even if it's a 'Thanks but No Thanks' .... And again, cue the abuse!!
I guess my question is this: if someone isn't interested in you, would you rather they just ignore your message or be up front about it and just tell you, because I can't win either way at the minute! "
LOL it says not to name and shame on here!! So that's most 'Men' named and shamed!! Well done, good job we don't take this seriously which unfortunatly most 'Women' do lol opps I just named and shamed |
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