FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Lying to myself
Lying to myself
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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After a bit of news today I have realised I have been lying to myself about what I want.
I have decided that after 5 yrs alone I have been looking for something more than just NSA sex with some meets and that as such I have lied not only to myself but to them.
So what am I going to do about it , well for a start I'm going to stay on here. Hang on this isn't a dating site I hear you say. Yep I know it isn't but I also know that I'm not 100% sure I could hold down a total vanilla relationship.
I'm going to re write my profile in a few days to say that I am looking for a mr right so that I'm not lying to anyone but I'm going to try an attend more socials just for that the social side of things.
The most important thing I'm going to change is my effort in what I do with my free time, I may just take myself off to a gym cos the wobbly bits won't shift themselves.
While I'm getting my head round all this just to warn you all I may be even more of a moodymoo than I am now but I'm pretty sure you lot will cheer me up when I need it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After a bit of news today I have realised I have been lying to myself about what I want.
I have decided that after 5 yrs alone I have been looking for something more than just NSA sex with some meets and that as such I have lied not only to myself but to them.
So what am I going to do about it , well for a start I'm going to stay on here. Hang on this isn't a dating site I hear you say. Yep I know it isn't but I also know that I'm not 100% sure I could hold down a total vanilla relationship.
I'm going to re write my profile in a few days to say that I am looking for a mr right so that I'm not lying to anyone but I'm going to try an attend more socials just for that the social side of things.
The most important thing I'm going to change is my effort in what I do with my free time, I may just take myself off to a gym cos the wobbly bits won't shift themselves.
While I'm getting my head round all this just to warn you all I may be even more of a moodymoo than I am now but I'm pretty sure you lot will cheer me up when I need it "
cuddle time xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good luck moody! 
No reason why you can't combine the two - clarity with those you meet is the key and as long as they're aware you're doing nothing wrong!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After a bit of news today I have realised I have been lying to myself about what I want.
I have decided that after 5 yrs alone I have been looking for something more than just NSA sex with some meets and that as such I have lied not only to myself but to them.
So what am I going to do about it , well for a start I'm going to stay on here. Hang on this isn't a dating site I hear you say. Yep I know it isn't but I also know that I'm not 100% sure I could hold down a total vanilla relationship.
I'm going to re write my profile in a few days to say that I am looking for a mr right so that I'm not lying to anyone but I'm going to try an attend more socials just for that the social side of things.
The most important thing I'm going to change is my effort in what I do with my free time, I may just take myself off to a gym cos the wobbly bits won't shift themselves.
While I'm getting my head round all this just to warn you all I may be even more of a moodymoo than I am now but I'm pretty sure you lot will cheer me up when I need it "
Ok will take my feet out of the bleating sheeps asses and behave for once...
I'm sure if you scout around here moody, you will find there are an awful lot of couples on here who, have met through the forums, some have even married 
Good luck you.... And go girl x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes it's not obvious what we want for ourself. Mistakes, new experiences and soul searching makes us who we are. Good luck in your quest for happiness (and I hope you have fun searching) x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have to do what you feel is right for you! And you know that you have some really good friends that will be there for you when and if you need them!!
No stop being a moody cow!!
Oh don't suppose you fancy a fmf do you?
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You have to do what you feel is right for you! And you know that you have some really good friends that will be there for you when and if you need them!!
No stop being a moody cow!!
Oh don't suppose you fancy a fmf do you?
"
For you , anything |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You have to do what you feel is right for you! And you know that you have some really good friends that will be there for you when and if you need them!!
No stop being a moody cow!!
Oh don't suppose you fancy a fmf do you?
For you , anything "
I wanted to break into song lol!!
I'll do anything.... For you dear anything... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"[Removed by poster at 29/11/13 21:13:56]
Too late  I saw what you put
So did I
I was led astray."
I know..... That moody is awful!! All she wants to do is corrupt innocent people!!
I will look after you lickety  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"[Removed by poster at 29/11/13 21:13:56]
Too late I saw what you put
So did I
I was led astray.
I know..... That moody is awful!! All she wants to do is corrupt innocent people!!
I will look after you lickety "
I have just had a brilliant cheer up idea for ladies night: I can see if the photographer we all met is free to take some classic pin up pictures of us. Dressing up, arty pin up pictures and alcohol - what could go wrong?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"[Removed by poster at 29/11/13 21:13:56]
Too late I saw what you put
So did I
I was led astray.
I know..... That moody is awful!! All she wants to do is corrupt innocent people!!
I will look after you lickety
I have just had a brilliant cheer up idea for ladies night: I can see if the photographer we all met is free to take some classic pin up pictures of us. Dressing up, arty pin up pictures and alcohol - what could go wrong?
"
Oh oh me please me please |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I hope you find it...
I did... But he didn't... So my balloon got popped.
A year wasted.
Just can't face a dating site..."
Why was the year wasted? I met someone who ended up messing with my head a bit but the experience taught me a lot and we laughed and had the hottest kisses when we were together.
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"[Removed by poster at 29/11/13 21:13:56]
Too late I saw what you put
So did I
I was led astray.
I know..... That moody is awful!! All she wants to do is corrupt innocent people!!
I will look after you lickety
I have just had a brilliant cheer up idea for ladies night: I can see if the photographer we all met is free to take some classic pin up pictures of us. Dressing up, arty pin up pictures and alcohol - what could go wrong?
Oh oh me please me please "
I told you it's a brilliant idea. As soon as we have the date I will see if he's free and if he isn't I know some other photographers (just not the Fab sort). |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I don't want to discuss details..... Time wasted cos I didn't know it was coming... "
I hope you will be able to take something positive from it and find what you want and need. Good luck.
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All sounds good! We usually need different things at different points in our lives, so whilst you state you've been lying to yourself, it may be that you've had this need but not been ready for the relationship, or even to acknowledge that you're needing or ready for this.
It strikes me that perhaps you're being a touch hard on yourself, by claiming self-deceit.
It's good that you're staying on fab, as you realise that you love this aspect of life, and that it may hold more opportunities for you - possibly a partner. Make whatever you need work for you - we all deserve the best. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"All sounds good! We usually need different things at different points in our lives, so whilst you state you've been lying to yourself, it may be that you've had this need but not been ready for the relationship, or even to acknowledge that you're needing or ready for this.
It strikes me that perhaps you're being a touch hard on yourself, by claiming self-deceit.
It's good that you're staying on fab, as you realise that you love this aspect of life, and that it may hold more opportunities for you - possibly a partner. Make whatever you need work for you - we all deserve the best. "
Thank you, I can't put into words right now a reply to this other than thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"After a bit of news today I have realised I have been lying to myself about what I want.
I have decided that after 5 yrs alone I have been looking for something more than just NSA sex with some meets and that as such I have lied not only to myself but to them.
So what am I going to do about it , well for a start I'm going to stay on here. Hang on this isn't a dating site I hear you say. Yep I know it isn't but I also know that I'm not 100% sure I could hold down a total vanilla relationship.
I'm going to re write my profile in a few days to say that I am looking for a mr right so that I'm not lying to anyone but I'm going to try an attend more socials just for that the social side of things.
The most important thing I'm going to change is my effort in what I do with my free time, I may just take myself off to a gym cos the wobbly bits won't shift themselves.
While I'm getting my head round all this just to warn you all I may be even more of a moodymoo than I am now but I'm pretty sure you lot will cheer me up when I need it "
I've had a couple of vodkas but ... I really can relate to this. Hope you find what you're looking for |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Serious response to thread, having met you I think that its just a matter of time before someone nice snaps you up....I hope you find what you are looking for....sincerely I do. "
And now for the first time since posting thread I'm crying. I'm at my parents and have put a brave face on all night managing to bite down earlier when Lucy said something. Now in bed alone and hurting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Serious response to thread, having met you I think that its just a matter of time before someone nice snaps you up....I hope you find what you are looking for....sincerely I do. "
Awe that's a lovely thing to say |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Serious response to thread, having met you I think that its just a matter of time before someone nice snaps you up....I hope you find what you are looking for....sincerely I do.
And now for the first time since posting thread I'm crying. I'm at my parents and have put a brave face on all night managing to bite down earlier when Lucy said something. Now in bed alone and hurting. "
Shit I never meant to make you cry, I am a piss taking fucker most of the time but I can be sincere....you have my very good wishes and a hug, and you know I don't do cyber hugs....xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The important thing is you've recognised what you want and realise what you need to do to achieve that.
I would say focus on the socialising and try not to dwell too much on finding a potential partner. It will happen, its a case of when and not if, best wishes xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"After a bit of news today I have realised I have been lying to myself about what I want.
I have decided that after 5 yrs alone I have been looking for something more than just NSA sex with some meets and that as such I have lied not only to myself but to them.
So what am I going to do about it , well for a start I'm going to stay on here. Hang on this isn't a dating site I hear you say. Yep I know it isn't but I also know that I'm not 100% sure I could hold down a total vanilla relationship.
I'm going to re write my profile in a few days to say that I am looking for a mr right so that I'm not lying to anyone but I'm going to try an attend more socials just for that the social side of things.
The most important thing I'm going to change is my effort in what I do with my free time, I may just take myself off to a gym cos the wobbly bits won't shift themselves.
While I'm getting my head round all this just to warn you all I may be even more of a moodymoo than I am now but I'm pretty sure you lot will cheer me up when I need it "
Well good on you! Hope it comes along. U dunno uf you were necessarily 'lying' to yourself - probably you just weren't ready for commitment. Consider it that you have been having a sabbatical |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Moody I don't know you very well but from what I do know, there will be a guy out there who feels the same, will see this thread and think that Christmas has come early, in total honesty I have been very vocal about not wanting a relationship but that's because I think it's unlikely that I would find someone close that wants the same kind of relationship as I do so for that reason I have a fuck buddy, and I go about my day, if we were closer I would be the first to inbox you I think you are a smasher x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Reading all the comments in the forum has confirmed my faith on the many decent people on Fab.
I am sure you will find someone here, but you may still have to filter all the dross messages so always be on your guard.
Good Luck xx |
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I genuinely was only looking for casual. Met a man seeking the same. We got talking on the phone. After our second conversation we knew something was happening. He suggested we go on a date: not a meet a date.
I agreed. Two cynical, ice for veins, walls around their souls, don't need anybody couldn't give a fucks have been hit with Cupids arrow.
It is very early days even though we've already had that conversation: do you like Strictly and Corrie? He's failed but the litmus test will be is if he can sit through them without any sarky comments!
You just never know what may happen.
Hope you find what you're looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I genuinely was only looking for casual. Met a man seeking the same. We got talking on the phone. After our second conversation we knew something was happening. He suggested we go on a date: not a meet a date.
I agreed. Two cynical, ice for veins, walls around their souls, don't need anybody couldn't give a fucks have been hit with Cupids arrow.
It is very early days even though we've already had that conversation: do you like Strictly and Corrie? He's failed but the litmus test will be is if he can sit through them without any sarky comments!
You just never know what may happen.
Hope you find what you're looking for. "
That is just the best news , I'm so pleased for you xx |
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"All sounds good! We usually need different things at different points in our lives, so whilst you state you've been lying to yourself, it may be that you've had this need but not been ready for the relationship, or even to acknowledge that you're needing or ready for this.
It strikes me that perhaps you're being a touch hard on yourself, by claiming self-deceit.
It's good that you're staying on fab, as you realise that you love this aspect of life, and that it may hold more opportunities for you - possibly a partner. Make whatever you need work for you - we all deserve the best. "
I agree with this. |
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"I genuinely was only looking for casual. Met a man seeking the same. We got talking on the phone. After our second conversation we knew something was happening. He suggested we go on a date: not a meet a date.
I agreed. Two cynical, ice for veins, walls around their souls, don't need anybody couldn't give a fucks have been hit with Cupids arrow.
It is very early days even though we've already had that conversation: do you like Strictly and Corrie? He's failed but the litmus test will be is if he can sit through them without any sarky comments!
You just never know what may happen.
Hope you find what you're looking for.
That is just the best news , I'm so pleased for you xx"
We are both scared shitless. Our respective friends are asking questions, that's how noticeable the change in us has been.
Who knew! |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I genuinely was only looking for casual. Met a man seeking the same. We got talking on the phone. After our second conversation we knew something was happening. He suggested we go on a date: not a meet a date.
I agreed. Two cynical, ice for veins, walls around their souls, don't need anybody couldn't give a fucks have been hit with Cupids arrow.
It is very early days even though we've already had that conversation: do you like Strictly and Corrie? He's failed but the litmus test will be is if he can sit through them without any sarky comments!
You just never know what may happen.
Hope you find what you're looking for.
That is just the best news , I'm so pleased for you xx
We are both scared shitless. Our respective friends are asking questions, that's how noticeable the change in us has been.
Who knew!"
Wow! That is fabulous news. One day at a time. Defrosting is best done gradually to avoid damage but once there the dish is just as tasty. Good luck with it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I genuinely was only looking for casual. Met a man seeking the same. We got talking on the phone. After our second conversation we knew something was happening. He suggested we go on a date: not a meet a date.
I agreed. Two cynical, ice for veins, walls around their souls, don't need anybody couldn't give a fucks have been hit with Cupids arrow.
It is very early days even though we've already had that conversation: do you like Strictly and Corrie? He's failed but the litmus test will be is if he can sit through them without any sarky comments!
You just never know what may happen.
Hope you find what you're looking for.
That is just the best news , I'm so pleased for you xx
We are both scared shitless. Our respective friends are asking questions, that's how noticeable the change in us has been.
Who knew!
Wow! That is fabulous news. One day at a time. Defrosting is best done gradually to avoid damage but once there the dish is just as tasty. Good luck with it."
What a fantastic saying, makes so much sense |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I realised that I no longer wanted to be single earlier on this year, but also felt that a 24/7 vanilla relationship wouldn't be for me either.
I'm now in the early stages of a new relationship with a lovely man. Despite him not being on Fab, I was honest from the start about my needs and likes....and to my amazement, he's curious about swinging and keen to get involved. He's even happy for me to continue to indulge with a sub or two...
You just never know what's round the corner, and your perfect 'kinky' swinging man doesn't even have to be on here.....keep an open mind and continue to be honest about what you want from any relationship Moody...the right guy will be out there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good on you .
Youre right its not a dating site per se- but it is a site where you can be more open and truer to yourself than you could anywhere else and it is a site where you can express exactly what you want out of a sexual partner/relationship including long term arrangements without stepping on eggshells or risking a relationship by opening up the non vanilla side.
Hope you find exactly what youre looking for |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Good on you .
Youre right its not a dating site per se- but it is a site where you can be more open and truer to yourself than you could anywhere else and it is a site where you can express exactly what you want out of a sexual partner/relationship including long term arrangements without stepping on eggshells or risking a relationship by opening up the non vanilla side.
Hope you find exactly what youre looking for "
That is exactly why I am staying here, I've done the lying about what I really want and am so not going down that line again.
I'm going to have more fun finding mr right because any ( if I get any now ) meets will know that is what I am looking for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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as much shit as guys get for the any holes a goal mentality onhere i think a fair few are looking for the same thing as you aswell
hope you find someone you click with |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"as much shit as guys get for the any holes a goal mentality onhere i think a fair few are looking for the same thing as you aswell
hope you find someone you click with "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good on you Moody! Hopefully you will randomly bump into someone special and that you click with.
All the best my lovely.. its great to be honest with yourself. x
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I genuinely was only looking for casual. Met a man seeking the same. We got talking on the phone. After our second conversation we knew something was happening. He suggested we go on a date: not a meet a date.
I agreed. Two cynical, ice for veins, walls around their souls, don't need anybody couldn't give a fucks have been hit with Cupids arrow.
It is very early days even though we've already had that conversation: do you like Strictly and Corrie? He's failed but the litmus test will be is if he can sit through them without any sarky comments!
You just never know what may happen.
Hope you find what you're looking for.
That is just the best news , I'm so pleased for you xx
We are both scared shitless. Our respective friends are asking questions, that's how noticeable the change in us has been.
Who knew!
Wow! That is fabulous news. One day at a time. Defrosting is best done gradually to avoid damage but once there the dish is just as tasty. Good luck with it."
Cool saying.
Congrats Miss_tress! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I genuinely was only looking for casual. Met a man seeking the same. We got talking on the phone. After our second conversation we knew something was happening. He suggested we go on a date: not a meet a date.
I agreed. Two cynical, ice for veins, walls around their souls, don't need anybody couldn't give a fucks have been hit with Cupids arrow.
It is very early days even though we've already had that conversation: do you like Strictly and Corrie? He's failed but the litmus test will be is if he can sit through them without any sarky comments!
You just never know what may happen.
Hope you find what you're looking for.
That is just the best news , I'm so pleased for you xx
We are both scared shitless. Our respective friends are asking questions, that's how noticeable the change in us has been.
Who knew!"
Great news and good luck Miss Tress |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I'm going to have more fun finding mr right because any ( if I get any now ) meets will know that is what I am looking for "
Good on you and best of luck |
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awww come on it's only our first love in please let us off 