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Beer v pussy

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By *ottsguy44 OP   Man  over a year ago

nottinghamshire

It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy...

A beer is always wet.

A pussy needs encouragement.

Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot.

A pussy tastes better served hot.

Advantage: Pussy.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.

Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.

Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.

Pussy does not.

advantage: Tie

If you get a hair in your teeth

consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.

Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box.

A pussy is a box you can come in.

Advantage: Pussy

Too much head makes you mad at the

person giving you a beer.

Advantage: Pussy.

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is

still edible.

Advantage: Beer.

If you come home smelling like beer,

your wife may get mad. If you come home

smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.

Advantage: Beer.

6 beers in a night and you better not

drive. 6 pussies in a night and you

have done all the driving you need.

Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat.

Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.

Advantage: Tie

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.

You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.

Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath,

you are going to get a breathalyzer.

If a cop smells pussy on your breath,

you are going to get a high five.

Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.

Advantage: beer.

Wearing a condom does not make a beer

any less enjoyable.

Advantage: beer.

Pussy can make you see God. Beer can

make you see the porcelain god.

Advantage: Pussy

If you think all day about the next pussy

you will have, you are normal.

If you think all day about your next beer,

you are an alcoholic.

Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beers is fun.

Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.

Advantage: Pussy.

If you try to snag a beer at work,

you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy

at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.

Advantage: Tie

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may

break. If you suddenly drop a pussy,

it may hunt you down like the dog you are.

Advantage: Beer.

If you change to another beer, your

old brand will gladly have you back.

Advantage: Beer.

The best pussy you have ever had is

not gone once you have enjoyed it.

Advantage: Pussy.

The worst pussy you have ever had is

not gone once you have enjoyed it.

Advantage: Beer.

Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.

Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.

Advantage: Tie

Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead,

Pete's Wicked Winter Brew.

Good pussy: Almost all but the above.

Advantage Pussy.

The government taxes beer.

Advantage: Pussy.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I missed xmas reading this

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