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Lines of text that can put you off a profile
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Looking for my Mr Grey"
"We are a professional couple" (that actually wouldn't put me off at all, I just see it so many bloody times and I don't see how it's relevant, if you're an educated person then surely I'm going to be able to tell that by simply reading your profile)
"FIRST OF ALL SORRY TO SOUND NEGATIVE BUT..."
Any more for any more?
Feel free to tell me that people can put whatever they like on their profiles yadda yaddda yadda
Hello
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When really ugly people make it sound like there stunning and say! " don't contact me if I want u I will contact u" and bla bla bout wat they want and us guys WILL obide or just be blocked Simple!! Aghhhh gets my bk up  |
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I'M NOT GAY SO STOP SENDING MESSAGES AND COCK PICS!!!!!!!
Along with other aggressive rants in place of simply setting filters. Usually in full caps and often far more offensive than the above.
Then they don't understand why I say no, cos I'm a woman so it isn't aimed at me!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't comment on anyone's being that mines simply a period.
Will try anything.
That's the worst one. And when I get it in a message, after asking their limits and expectations, or I get told they'll do anything I want. They get this reply, plagiarised from the interwebs.
What I want to do to you is tie you to my bed, put a knife to your throat, cut off your air supply by putting my other hand over your nose and mouth and then light your cock on fire before I beat the crap out of you with a baseball bat until tears are running down your face. Then I want to untie you and drag you to the bathroom by your hair, start the bath running, and shove that baseball bat I was just beating you with up your ass while I hold your head under the water. I want to see the look of terror in your eyes and feel you shaking with fear before I bring you gently back to reality. Then… then I want to see the relief and gratitude on your face as you thank me.
Sorts the men from the boys.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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There's a profile on here that once had the status update "who wants to get me pregnant?" and "who wants to buy me credit?"
The verifications on it are genuinely disturbing |
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its sometimes amusing to read a profile where they havent read it back to see how it reads/sounds to other people.
some come across aggressive as you have no right to breathe the same air as them or a "shopping list" of do's and dont's with the threat of blocking!!
some need to relax-and filter out the rude annoying w**kers using the tools of the site |
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"I can't comment on anyone's being that mines simply a period.
Will try anything.
That's the worst one. And when I get it in a message, after asking their limits and expectations, or I get told they'll do anything I want. They get this reply, plagiarised from the interwebs.
What I want to do to you is tie you to my bed, put a knife to your throat, cut off your air supply by putting my other hand over your nose and mouth and then light your cock on fire before I beat the crap out of you with a baseball bat until tears are running down your face. Then I want to untie you and drag you to the bathroom by your hair, start the bath running, and shove that baseball bat I was just beating you with up your ass while I hold your head under the water. I want to see the look of terror in your eyes and feel you shaking with fear before I bring you gently back to reality. Then… then I want to see the relief and gratitude on your face as you thank me.
Sorts the men from the boys.
"
Oh god I love that! I'm going to make up my own version of it  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
""Looking for Mr Grey" (as quoted above)
Makes me think oh dear what terrible taste you have in literature."
Either that or they want John Major which is terrible taste of a different sort! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"" will fill in later" especially when they've been here over a year"
You can always counter that with "and that's exactly what I have planned for you later xx" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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'Owned by....'
...especially those that seemed to get 'owned' by a different person every bloody week. Owned and then disowned lol It just doesn't make sense.
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
I/We
Enjoy a good standard of living - I couldn't care less, hun, it's just a meet, I'm not moving in.
Bareback only - up to you, but I've been paying into a pension for years. I want to see that money.
If you are lucky enough for us to choose you - don't you mean if you are lucky enough that I don't just block you for being arrogant arseholes?
No Welsh - I'm not Welsh and crikey, I once had a Welsh Corporal who I disliked, but come on, they can't ALL be bad?
No GAY/BI/CD/TS/TV/TG/BSKYB - I respect your choice, but does it really need to be in capitals? I could end up with a complex, dontcha kno?
Expect a present bringing - is it Christmas already? Do I have time to send you my Christmas list, too? I've a few boxsets that I don't think anyone has ordered me.
and so on (now off to check my profile for these things.) |
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""Looking for Mr Grey" (as quoted above)
Makes me think oh dear what terrible taste you have in literature.
Either that or they want John Major which is terrible taste of a different sort!"
Maybe they are an Edwina Currie lookalike! |
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The lists of demands and No Nos and Single Males we will look for you...
sorry for having the temerity to look and if I may be so 'umble, sorry for breathing your air. Dry your eyes, Princess, you aren't that special
Got that off my chest... a coffee and a relax with the more pleasant Fabbers in here, cheers  |
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My major bugbear is something I don't think anyone else will agree with as it's something nearly everyone says but truly gets me snarling. I hate the overuse of the word fun. ie:
We're a fun couple just looking for fun with other fun couples. Or I'm a fun guy, just looking for fun, nsa just fun, message me for fun.
It's not fucking fun, it's fucking sex!
....and breath.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have an issue with the profiles that just say "I'm new here" when they've been here for over a year & are verified.
Also think it's suspicious when ages don't match, eg profile days 28 but text says 24 (and only been here 2 weeks)
Rugby player build. Is that Matt Dawson or Ben Cohen ad they have very different builds and it usually means chunky.
Finally profiles that say smokers that when you say you don't meet smokers day they selected it in error and are actually non smokers....yeah right!
I could go on but won't. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My major bugbear is something I don't think anyone else will agree with as it's something nearly everyone says but truly gets me snarling. I hate the overuse of the word fun. ie:
We're a fun couple just looking for fun with other fun couples. Or I'm a fun guy, just looking for fun, nsa just fun, message me for fun.
It's not fucking fun, it's fucking sex!
....and breath.
"
Sex is sport, all about getting your game face on, strapping on the nose bag and eating some serious vadge. |
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"My major bugbear is something I don't think anyone else will agree with as it's something nearly everyone says but truly gets me snarling. I hate the overuse of the word fun. ie:
We're a fun couple just looking for fun with other fun couples. Or I'm a fun guy, just looking for fun, nsa just fun, message me for fun.
It's not fucking fun, it's fucking sex!
....and breath.
Sex is sport, all about getting your game face on, strapping on the nose bag and eating some serious vadge."
It's a serious fucking business! |
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"I have an issue with the profiles that just say "I'm new here" when they've been here for over a year & are verified.
Also think it's suspicious when ages don't match, eg profile days 28 but text says 24 (and only been here 2 weeks)
Rugby player build. Is that Matt Dawson or Ben Cohen ad they have very different builds and it usually means chunky.
Finally profiles that say smokers that when you say you don't meet smokers day they selected it in error and are actually non smokers....yeah right!
I could go on but won't."
Rugby player build seems to be code for "I played a bit ten years ago (only amateur and only when they needed a sub) but I haven't played for years. Or done any other form of physical exertion - not that I exerted myself when I did play..." 
They usually look like the ate the ball whole instead of chased it round a pitch.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bareback
I can make you squirt
Spend hours and hours on oral .......if they do it right they shouldn't need to lol
I want a slut
Fuck all holes
And way more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My major bugbear is something I don't think anyone else will agree with as it's something nearly everyone says but truly gets me snarling. I hate the overuse of the word fun. ie:
We're a fun couple just looking for fun with other fun couples. Or I'm a fun guy, just looking for fun, nsa just fun, message me for fun.
It's not fucking fun, it's fucking sex!
....and breath.
Sex is sport, all about getting your game face on, strapping on the nose bag and eating some serious vadge.
It's a serious fucking business! "
Oh !!! Is it !!?!?!! Shit ! That's where I have been going wrong !!!!!!!  |
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Yes, agree with:
Overuse of the words 'fun' and 'play'. It's sex!! If I say I'm feeling playful I mean playful!!
'Good looking (so I'm told)...' aka false modesty.
'Heavy cummer' - bleuch!
'My balls are full/I need to cum' - not my problem, take responsibility for your own orgasm!
Profiles with nothing in 'I don't know what to say' - and yet you think we'll get on??
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"My major bugbear is something I don't think anyone else will agree with as it's something nearly everyone says but truly gets me snarling. I hate the overuse of the word fun. ie:
We're a fun couple just looking for fun with other fun couples. Or I'm a fun guy, just looking for fun, nsa just fun, message me for fun.
It's not fucking fun, it's fucking sex!
....and breath.
Sex is sport, all about getting your game face on, strapping on the nose bag and eating some serious vadge.
It's a serious fucking business!
Oh !!! Is it !!?!?!! Shit ! That's where I have been going wrong !!!!!!! "
Yep that's the problem, stop having fun, get down some serious work!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have an issue with the profiles that just say "I'm new here" when they've been here for over a year & are verified.
Also think it's suspicious when ages don't match, eg profile days 28 but text says 24 (and only been here 2 weeks)
Rugby player build. Is that Matt Dawson or Ben Cohen ad they have very different builds and it usually means chunky.
Finally profiles that say smokers that when you say you don't meet smokers day they selected it in error and are actually non smokers....yeah right!
I could go on but won't.
Rugby player build seems to be code for "I played a bit ten years ago (only amateur and only when they needed a sub) but I haven't played for years. Or done any other form of physical exertion - not that I exerted myself when I did play..."
They usually look like the ate the ball whole instead of chased it round a pitch. "
rugby player build on fab means fat,where as nik was foaming at the mouth watching rugby league this weekend.the rugby players on here must have never seen a game let alone played |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am a heavy cummer, can make you squirt, see my verifications from satisfied customers.
If you dont like fat old grannies who arent very lively and have to use lots of lube, jog on by.
will try anything twice, looking for ladies who dress to impress.
Looking for ladies who are well educated and like to talk a lot.
like to meet for drink first to see if we click.
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
SHOUTY profiles that are just full of moans and whinges or you must do this and you must do that, you should bow down and kiss my feet!
Will fill in later.....or the I am crap at writing profiles so ask me anything you want to know.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"SHOUTY profiles that are just full of moans and whinges or you must do this and you must do that, you should bow down and kiss my feet!
Will fill in later.....or the I am crap at writing profiles so ask me anything you want to know.
"
They sound agresive and you wouldnt want to meet them in case they were grumpy.  |
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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago
Retirement Village |
"Not interested in black or asians" or "caucasian/white only"- clearly i have no chance
"Owned by xxxxx" - i dont believe anyone is anyone elses property even in the sub/dom perspective of sex
"BBC only" - fine its a preference but i dont like stereotyping a race/ethnicity
"Bareback" - do i really have to say anything
"Fuck buddies" - just a term i do not like. Much prefer FWB
I could go on at this all day or i'm just a picky bugger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anything comprised of text speak to the extent it can't be easily understood.
Proffesional.
 "
Those who claim to be "professional" yet cant spell it.
Singles who always come with a +1 and dont meet without them.
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"NSA "
Damn! I knew they were reading our emails, since Snowden told us, but I did hope they weren't checking my messages on here, too.
Another one to add to my list - I'm 100% straight - I see a lot of this on profiles of guys who have sent me a message asking to do something depraved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't go searching for myself, because most of the males profiles are along the lines of:
Here looking for fun with women....
Well no shit Sherlock! "
Well,
They say that, but many are really looking for guys, but yet are in the closet! |
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""Not interested in black or asians" or "caucasian/white only"- clearly i have no chance
"Owned by xxxxx" - i dont believe anyone is anyone elses property even in the sub/dom perspective of sex
"BBC only" - fine its a preference but i dont like stereotyping a race/ethnicity
"Bareback" - do i really have to say anything
"Fuck buddies" - just a term i do not like. Much prefer FWB
I could go on at this all day or i'm just a picky bugger "
"Not interested in black or asians" or "caucasian/white only"
That's a definite turn off, even worse than the overuse of fun! |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I can't go searching for myself, because most of the males profiles are along the lines of:
Here looking for fun with women....
Well no shit Sherlock!
Well,
They say that, but many are really looking for guys, but yet are in the closet! "
Tell me about it! That's why I love the 'private notes' Just to remind myself |
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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago
Retirement Village |
""Not interested in black or asians" or "caucasian/white only"- clearly i have no chance
"Owned by xxxxx" - i dont believe anyone is anyone elses property even in the sub/dom perspective of sex
"BBC only" - fine its a preference but i dont like stereotyping a race/ethnicity
"Bareback" - do i really have to say anything
"Fuck buddies" - just a term i do not like. Much prefer FWB
I could go on at this all day or i'm just a picky bugger
"Not interested in black or asians" or "caucasian/white only"
That's a definite turn off, even worse than the overuse of fun!"
it is down to peoples choice but any reference to ethnicity/race is an instant turn-off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Not interested in black or asians" or "caucasian/white only"- clearly i have no chance
"Owned by xxxxx" - i dont believe anyone is anyone elses property even in the sub/dom perspective of sex
"BBC only" - fine its a preference but i dont like stereotyping a race/ethnicity
"Bareback" - do i really have to say anything
"Fuck buddies" - just a term i do not like. Much prefer FWB
I could go on at this all day or i'm just a picky bugger
"Not interested in black or asians" or "caucasian/white only"
That's a definite turn off, even worse than the overuse of fun!
it is down to peoples choice but any reference to ethnicity/race is an instant turn-off"
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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago
Retirement Village |
""Jog on" - I don't jog my boobs would hurt.
"Only fit people need apply" - I'm fit but I'm fat too.
"Discrete""
women with white shirts showing their curves bursting out the seems - sorry wrong thread that's a turn on |
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Ok I haven't seen it on a profile yet but I wanted to put a pigeon amongst the pussies