TEMPERATURES in the UK are going to fall sharply over the coming weeks because that is what happens at this time of year, it has been claimed.
Meteorologists believe that winter, a spell of short, cold days commonly defined as a season, will be more or less exactly what you would expect.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Household fuel costs will rise considerably as families try to increase the temperature of their homes.
“People on the verge of death may die.
“Ice and snow will create icy, snowy conditions.
During winter snow can often reach the ground
“Your car will refuse to start.
“Because it’s winter.
“It’s really nothing to freak out about, unless you’re a pre-Neanderthal cave dweller who believes sunsets are caused by Gark, the angry moon god.”
He added: “There’s a high probability that this winter will be followed by another sudden, weather-related phenomenon known as spring.”
Housewife Nikki Hollis said: “The important thing is to stay inside, carry a flaming torch at all times and don’t be sentimental about eating your plumpest child.”
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Will the television still work? I don't want to miss any weather related news.
Facebook always turns into a weather station around this time of year."
I don't do Facebook. Thank gawd this forum keeps us up to date with countrywide reports on the local weather.
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Will the television still work? I don't want to miss any weather related news.
Facebook always turns into a weather station around this time of year.
I don't do Facebook. Thank gawd this forum keeps us up to date with countrywide reports on the local weather.
"
It's sunny here. Probably cold. It looks like it might be cold when I look out of the window.
I've ordered arctic survival equipment just in case. |
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By *at2Couple
over a year ago
north Down |
"TEMPERATURES in the UK are going to fall sharply over the coming weeks because that is what happens at this time of year, it has been claimed.
Meteorologists believe that winter, a spell of short, cold days commonly defined as a season, will be more or less exactly what you would expect.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Household fuel costs will rise considerably as families try to increase the temperature of their homes.
“People on the verge of death may die.
“Ice and snow will create icy, snowy conditions.
During winter snow can often reach the ground
“Your car will refuse to start.
“Because it’s winter.
“It’s really nothing to freak out about, unless you’re a pre-Neanderthal cave dweller who believes sunsets are caused by Gark, the angry moon god.”
He added: “There’s a high probability that this winter will be followed by another sudden, weather-related phenomenon known as spring.”
Housewife Nikki Hollis said: “The important thing is to stay inside, carry a flaming torch at all times and don’t be sentimental about eating your plumpest child.”
"
Brilliant.. Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't do Facebook. Thank gawd this forum keeps us up to date with countrywide reports on the local weather.
"
Really quite nice in Bristol. Just got back from a bike ride wearing summer jacket and gloves.
Can't see any reason why all fab women shouldn't pop out to get xmas shopping in skimpy summer clothing and pretend we are in the Southern Hemisphere
After all the postman is wearing shorts!
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"TEMPERATURES in the UK are going to fall sharply over the coming weeks because that is what happens at this time of year, it has been claimed.
Meteorologists believe that winter, a spell of short, cold days commonly defined as a season, will be more or less exactly what you would expect.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Household fuel costs will rise considerably as families try to increase the temperature of their homes.
“People on the verge of death may die.
“Ice and snow will create icy, snowy conditions.
During winter snow can often reach the ground
“Your car will refuse to start.
“Because it’s winter.
“It’s really nothing to freak out about, unless you’re a pre-Neanderthal cave dweller who believes sunsets are caused by Gark, the angry moon god.”
He added: “There’s a high probability that this winter will be followed by another sudden, weather-related phenomenon known as spring.”
Housewife Nikki Hollis said: “The important thing is to stay inside, carry a flaming torch at all times and don’t be sentimental about eating your plumpest child.”
"
Stop Press!!!! Sensationaly modern technology has found a way of avoiding this extreme cold snap known as Winter.
Jump on a plane and piss off to the Canaries or Carribean  |
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No such thing as bad weather just inappropriate clothing for the current climatic conditions.
