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Im going to hell - are you?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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With all these tv ads for the new serialised version of the bible - i thought I'd have a check and see how pissed off the old bearded fella will be with me when u get hit by the proverbial bus and see how many of the ten commandments i had left to break!
1. You shall not worship any other god but God.
Well - previously its been Giggsy, Scholes and Beckham. More recently Van Persie. Commandment broken!
2. You shall not make a graven image.
I used to have a picture of Eric Cantona in my downstairs loo and regularly prayed to it on a Saturday morning whilst on the throne! Commandment broken.
3. You shall not take the name of God in vain.
Oh my god! No brainer. Commandment Well and truly fucked!!
4. You shall not break the Sabbath.
I've played sport, worked, partied, shagged and shopped on a Sunday. Commandment broken.
5. You shall not dishonor your parents.
Shagging the GF in their bed when 16 and not changing the sheets probably breaks this one.
6. You shall not murder.
Do wasps count?
7. You shall not commit adultery
Technically - whilst waiting for the divorce to come through i suppose i broke this!
8. You shall not steal.
I confess! Sweets from the pic'n'mix as a kid. The odd 50p off my brothers bedside table. Pic ideas for my profile off tumblr!
9. You shall not commit perjury.
I may have told the odd fib in my life - usually for a good reason!
10. You shall not covet
Come on!!! Who hasn't 'covetted' the boss's salary, your mates flash car, your neighbours hot tub or that ugly fecker down the pubs stunning GF. Commandment out the window.
So totting up ny total ..... If wasps count then I've a full house of broken, shattered and mangled commandments and a guaranteed spot down below!
Still - I'll get a nice tan! 
Anyone joining me?  |
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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago
taunton |
"With all these tv ads for the new serialised version of the bible - i thought I'd have a check and see how pissed off the old bearded fella will be with me when u get hit by the proverbial bus and see how many of the ten commandments i had left to break!
1. You shall not worship any other god but God.
Well - previously its been Giggsy, Scholes and Beckham. More recently Van Persie. Commandment broken!
2. You shall not make a graven image.
I used to have a picture of Eric Cantona in my downstairs loo and regularly prayed to it on a Saturday morning whilst on the throne! Commandment broken.
3. You shall not take the name of God in vain.
Oh my god! No brainer. Commandment Well and truly fucked!!
4. You shall not break the Sabbath.
I've played sport, worked, partied, shagged and shopped on a Sunday. Commandment broken.
5. You shall not dishonor your parents.
Shagging the GF in their bed when 16 and not changing the sheets probably breaks this one.
6. You shall not murder.
Do wasps count?
7. You shall not commit adultery
Technically - whilst waiting for the divorce to come through i suppose i broke this!
8. You shall not steal.
I confess! Sweets from the pic'n'mix as a kid. The odd 50p off my brothers bedside table. Pic ideas for my profile off tumblr!
9. You shall not commit perjury.
I may have told the odd fib in my life - usually for a good reason!
10. You shall not covet
Come on!!! Who hasn't 'covetted' the boss's salary, your mates flash car, your neighbours hot tub or that ugly fecker down the pubs stunning GF. Commandment out the window.
So totting up ny total ..... If wasps count then I've a full house of broken, shattered and mangled commandments and a guaranteed spot down below!
Still - I'll get a nice tan!
Anyone joining me? "
after the day I had at work today, thought I was already there lol.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have sex out of wedlock as I'm not married, I swear elaborately, I masturbate and even fake the orgasm which makes it a sin, I hang out with sinners and I look other men's wives in the eye and all sorts of indescribable shit..
Ya I'm burning!  |
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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
1. Never worshipped ANY God 1/2
2. Did some naughty pencil sketches when younger and prayed to meet someone like that. 1
3. God allmighty too late on that one 1
4. Never had one restfull Sunday 1
5. Get frustrated with my mum but love her. Miss my dad. 0
6. Hmmmm loads of insects. 1/2
7. Is it adultery if my wife knows? 1/2
8. What even pens from work? 1
9. Ooops 1
10. Covetted the ass of loads of stuff 1
Total 7.5 out of 10 .... Best start getting aclimatised to heat
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"With all these tv ads for the new serialised version of the bible "
There will be a serialised version of the Bible? That will go on forever (longer than Corrie even). Are they going to show all that begatting?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well at least I will be amoungst friends!
Apparently knowing gay people is enough!!! Since I've kissed a girl and more I'm sure I'm damned for eternity anyway haha x |
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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago
Retirement Village |
" .... 1. You shall not worship any other god but God.
Well - previously its been Giggsy, Scholes and Beckham. More recently Van Persie. Commandment broken! ...."
you deserve the depths of hell just for this!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it bothers you at all then just aak for forgiveness, that gets you into heaven.....but before you do, don't forget that the bible is Gods book. It's full of his/ her propoganda. Wait until you've heard Lucifers pitch, you never know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it bothers you at all then just aak for forgiveness, that gets you into heaven.....but before you do, don't forget that the bible is Gods book. It's full of his/ her propoganda. Wait until you've heard Lucifers pitch, you never know. "
or wait till uve felt his pitch...fork |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it bothers you at all then just aak for forgiveness, that gets you into heaven.....but before you do, don't forget that the bible is Gods book. It's full of his/ her propoganda. Wait until you've heard Lucifers pitch, you never know. "
 |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"If it bothers you at all then just aak for forgiveness, that gets you into heaven.....but before you do, don't forget that the bible is Gods book. It's full of his/ her propoganda. Wait until you've heard Lucifers pitch, you never know. "
Not forgetting that God created Lucifer, the fallen angel. And as God created everything then he created Hell.
Repent now and you can pass through the eye of a needle.
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"With all these tv ads for the new serialised version of the bible
There will be a serialised version of the Bible? That will go on forever (longer than Corrie even). Are they going to show all that begatting?
"
As long as there's some decent smiting. Very important, the smiting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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im a buddhist , a believer in reincarnation , so Ill be coming back as hugh heffner the seccond and Im gonna shag my way back to hell again oops , i mean reincarnation times infinity  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the words of AC/DC; Hell ain't a bad place to be-mainly because all the fun people are gonna be there with me.
When I was a kid I once used a page from a Gideons bible to roll a fag with because I'd run out of papers. Not sure if that alone gets me into Hell but I've pretty much smashed the crap out of all the other commandments anyway... |
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"If it bothers you at all then just aak for forgiveness, that gets you into heaven.....but before you do, don't forget that the bible is Gods book. It's full of his/ her propoganda. Wait until you've heard Lucifers pitch, you never know.
Not forgetting that God created Lucifer, the fallen angel. And as God created everything then he created Hell.
Repent now and you can pass through the eye of a needle.
"
Or dance on the head or a pin. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If it bothers you at all then just aak for forgiveness, that gets you into heaven.....but before you do, don't forget that the bible is Gods book. It's full of his/ her propoganda. Wait until you've heard Lucifers pitch, you never know.
Not forgetting that God created Lucifer, the fallen angel. And as God created everything then he created Hell.
Repent now and you can pass through the eye of a needle.
"
is it not best to do the repenting after you have finished the breaking of the commandments or should one break some and then repent so one can do it all over again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely, taking the Catholic line, a few Hail Mary's and you're forgiven.
You have to mean it."
at the time or forever and a day? I think I need clarity on all of this so I can weigh up the options |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Surely, taking the Catholic line, a few Hail Mary's and you're forgiven.
You have to mean it.
at the time or forever and a day? I think I need clarity on all of this so I can weigh up the options "
Ideally you would mean it forever and a day. You could take the option my father went for which was to confess and repent on his deathbed. The only problem was that medical science then saved him at the eleventh hour. He has returned to sinning ready to confess and repent again.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely, taking the Catholic line, a few Hail Mary's and you're forgiven.
You have to mean it.
at the time or forever and a day? I think I need clarity on all of this so I can weigh up the options
Ideally you would mean it forever and a day. You could take the option my father went for which was to confess and repent on his deathbed. The only problem was that medical science then saved him at the eleventh hour. He has returned to sinning ready to confess and repent again.
"
that possibly is the course of action I am considering |
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Oh - hang on........ 
