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Trying to persuade me to meet at times I've said I can't do
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
What is it with people trying to get me to meet at times I can't do?
Great, I say, you seem interesting, let's meet for a drink and see if we get on. I can do (insert days) or we could arrange something for (sometime e.g. next week).
How about I come round this evening, they say.
Uh no. I can't accommodate and I won't meet without a social meet in public first.
Oh, well it was just a suggestion. How about (a totally different day to those I've said I can do, and sometimes one I've outright said I can't do).
I've had a spate of this recently. I'd never try to convince someone they should see me at a time they've said they can't do. I just accepted they can't.
Then there's the ones that, when told when I am free, pick a particular morning/afternoon/evening. I then keep that free only to have them come back to me and try to arrange something for one of the other times, and get stroppy because I've already made other plans.
Such a shame when guys who've sounded perfect to that point start being difficult about actually arranging a meet. Do they not want to meet? Are they hoping if it's difficult enough I'll forget the idea of a social, and not accommodating, and ask them round immediately? Is it a control thing, trying to get me to meet on their terms, at a time inconvenient for me? Are they just stupid? Do I write the messages with my available times in a foreign language without realising it?
I'm starting to think just going to clubs when I feel like it would be easier. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you are dealing with people who are turned on by your profile, so of course they will try it on to empty their balls, take it as a compliment.
remember
Full Balls = Empty head |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"you are dealing with people who are turned on by your profile, so of course they will try it on to empty their balls, take it as a compliment.
remember
Full Balls = Empty head"
 |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I hear you. I make it clear that I won't do a spontaneous meet with someone until after a social and arranged play meet but they still ask the moment they are horny.
Just breathe and let it go. They are translating from woman English to Man in Need English. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
We have had this happen a few times and it can get pretty annoying. Tend to end up being quite blunt and say we have already told you that time/day is not suitable for us.
If they try it again then we just stop contact. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What is it with people trying to get me to meet at times I can't do?
Great, I say, you seem interesting, let's meet for a drink and see if we get on. I can do (insert days) or we could arrange something for (sometime e.g. next week).
How about I come round this evening, they say.
Uh no. I can't accommodate and I won't meet without a social meet in public first.
Oh, well it was just a suggestion. How about (a totally different day to those I've said I can do, and sometimes one I've outright said I can't do).
I've had a spate of this recently. I'd never try to convince someone they should see me at a time they've said they can't do. I just accepted they can't.
Then there's the ones that, when told when I am free, pick a particular morning/afternoon/evening. I then keep that free only to have them come back to me and try to arrange something for one of the other times, and get stroppy because I've already made other plans.
Such a shame when guys who've sounded perfect to that point start being difficult about actually arranging a meet. Do they not want to meet? Are they hoping if it's difficult enough I'll forget the idea of a social, and not accommodating, and ask them round immediately? Is it a control thing, trying to get me to meet on their terms, at a time inconvenient for me? Are they just stupid? Do I write the messages with my available times in a foreign language without realising it?
I'm starting to think just going to clubs when I feel like it would be easier."
The simple fact is there are a lot of eejits on here, but it also sounds as if you're maybe talking to the wrong type of guys!
Maybe review how you select the guys you talk to? Just a thought!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"you are dealing with people who are turned on by your profile, so of course they will try it on to empty their balls, take it as a compliment.
remember
Full Balls = Empty head"
|
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I'm not so much wound up as confused by it. I'm pretty clear and bullshit free in my approach. If I want to meet I say so and I say when I am available. I also make it clear I insist on a social first.
I see so many complaints from guys complaining about women wanting them to jump through hoops and about women not actually wanting to meet, I'd have thought being clear and direct would be a good thing; something to be appreciated.
I go right off people when they display disregard for my time, my need to be safe or my limits so it's disappointing when it happens with people who seemed like excellent meet prospects. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just sigh,think bollocks to you,im now bored and thats the end of that
If being clear about when you're free and when you're not has'nt been taken in then there is no hope |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"What is it with people trying to get me to meet at times I can't do?
Great, I say, you seem interesting, let's meet for a drink and see if we get on. I can do (insert days) or we could arrange something for (sometime e.g. next week).
How about I come round this evening, they say.
Uh no. I can't accommodate and I won't meet without a social meet in public first.
Oh, well it was just a suggestion. How about (a totally different day to those I've said I can do, and sometimes one I've outright said I can't do).
I've had a spate of this recently. I'd never try to convince someone they should see me at a time they've said they can't do. I just accepted they can't.
Then there's the ones that, when told when I am free, pick a particular morning/afternoon/evening. I then keep that free only to have them come back to me and try to arrange something for one of the other times, and get stroppy because I've already made other plans.
Such a shame when guys who've sounded perfect to that point start being difficult about actually arranging a meet. Do they not want to meet? Are they hoping if it's difficult enough I'll forget the idea of a social, and not accommodating, and ask them round immediately? Is it a control thing, trying to get me to meet on their terms, at a time inconvenient for me? Are they just stupid? Do I write the messages with my available times in a foreign language without realising it?
I'm starting to think just going to clubs when I feel like it would be easier.
The simple fact is there are a lot of eejits on here, but it also sounds as if you're maybe talking to the wrong type of guys!
Maybe review how you select the guys you talk to? Just a thought! "
I talk to the ones who seem to have read my profile and match my preferences, who can write in English and maintain a conversation. I stop talking to them if they display a lack of respect for my time and limits.
Perhaps you can suggest how I should be selecting which ones I talk to?
How would it be possible to tell which won't respect what I say until I talk to them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I ran into this a bit when I was meeting guts, they seemed to think only they had a life and that I could and would drop everything even after I had said I wasn't free then. When they started going on like that I just used it as another filter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What is it with people trying to get me to meet at times I can't do?
Great, I say, you seem interesting, let's meet for a drink and see if we get on. I can do (insert days) or we could arrange something for (sometime e.g. next week).
How about I come round this evening, they say.
Uh no. I can't accommodate and I won't meet without a social meet in public first.
Oh, well it was just a suggestion. How about (a totally different day to those I've said I can do, and sometimes one I've outright said I can't do).
I've had a spate of this recently. I'd never try to convince someone they should see me at a time they've said they can't do. I just accepted they can't.
Then there's the ones that, when told when I am free, pick a particular morning/afternoon/evening. I then keep that free only to have them come back to me and try to arrange something for one of the other times, and get stroppy because I've already made other plans.
Such a shame when guys who've sounded perfect to that point start being difficult about actually arranging a meet. Do they not want to meet? Are they hoping if it's difficult enough I'll forget the idea of a social, and not accommodating, and ask them round immediately? Is it a control thing, trying to get me to meet on their terms, at a time inconvenient for me? Are they just stupid? Do I write the messages with my available times in a foreign language without realising it?
I'm starting to think just going to clubs when I feel like it would be easier."
Annoying that. I've had the same |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
It's damned irritating when you make it clear when are where you can meet and then the other party try to argue that you should meet them somewhere and some time other than what you can do. It's perhaps best to reiterate when you can meet and end with a if you are free in the future when I am, then get back to me.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
with me it depends how horny at the time I get the message, if very, I can usually meet within 30 mins, being a natural beauty, it doesn't take long to get ready.
If I couldn't be bothered, I arrange a date 12 weeks away, they usually have a wank instead, whilst looking at my pics, keeps everyone happy. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm not so much wound up as confused by it. I'm pretty clear and bullshit free in my approach. If I want to meet I say so and I say when I am available. I also make it clear I insist on a social first.
I see so many complaints from guys complaining about women wanting them to jump through hoops and about women not actually wanting to meet, I'd have thought being clear and direct would be a good thing; something to be appreciated.
I go right off people when they display disregard for my time, my need to be safe or my limits so it's disappointing when it happens with people who seemed like excellent meet prospects. "
Virago, come on, you know setting out your availability and not acquiescing to theirs are the hoops of which they complain. |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"It's damned irritating when you make it clear when are where you can meet and then the other party try to argue that you should meet them somewhere and some time other than what you can do. It's perhaps best to reiterate when you can meet and end with a if you are free in the future when I am, then get back to me. "
You probably understand better than most how long it can take to get ready for a meet. Most of the time when people want to come round immediately, I've been cleaning or gardening or decorating or something and would need at least a couple of hours to get ready. Washing and drying my hair alone takes an hour.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"with me it depends how horny at the time I get the message, if very, I can usually meet within 30 mins, being a natural beauty, it doesn't take long to get ready.
If I couldn't be bothered, I arrange a date 12 weeks away, they usually have a wank instead, whilst looking at my pics, keeps everyone happy. "
You're like my twin sister.  |
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By *ee Viante OP Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I'm not so much wound up as confused by it. I'm pretty clear and bullshit free in my approach. If I want to meet I say so and I say when I am available. I also make it clear I insist on a social first.
I see so many complaints from guys complaining about women wanting them to jump through hoops and about women not actually wanting to meet, I'd have thought being clear and direct would be a good thing; something to be appreciated.
I go right off people when they display disregard for my time, my need to be safe or my limits so it's disappointing when it happens with people who seemed like excellent meet prospects.
Virago, come on, you know setting out your availability and not acquiescing to theirs are the hoops of which they complain. "
 Of course, silly me thinking it's acceptable for me to have a life |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I know what the OP means. On a related note, when I put up a meet request and always, without fail, get messages saying they are not free that date, but are free 'insert date here'. Well that's good for you, but that's not the date I put now, is it?
It is probably hard hearted but I have started ignoring messages like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The joys of living in Yarmouth mean I get no end of messages from men working in the area and wanting me to join them at their BnB.
Had one wanting me to meet the other night at the Troll cart in the pissing rain at 9pm....I declined that kind offer.
If anyone has been to Yarmouth they know what many BnB's are like and know the standard of the Troll Cart clientelle x |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"
You probably understand better than most how long it can take to get ready for a meet. Most of the time when people want to come round immediately, I've been cleaning or gardening or decorating or something and would need at least a couple of hours to get ready. Washing and drying my hair alone takes an hour. "
At least an hour. It's not possible to just drop everything as soon as some chap sends a message like 'fancy a fuk now hunni?'  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know what the OP means. On a related note, when I put up a meet request and always, without fail, get messages saying they are not free that date, but are free 'insert date here'. Well that's good for you, but that's not the date I put now, is it?
It is probably hard hearted but I have started ignoring messages like that."
We also get this every single time we put a meet request up too. I ignore all those messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know what the OP means. On a related note, when I put up a meet request and always, without fail, get messages saying they are not free that date, but are free 'insert date here'. Well that's good for you, but that's not the date I put now, is it?
It is probably hard hearted but I have started ignoring messages like that.
We also get this every single time we put a meet request up too. I ignore all those messages. "
Thats what i shall do then. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"The joys of living in Yarmouth mean I get no end of messages from men working in the area and wanting me to join them at their BnB.
Had one wanting me to meet the other night at the Troll cart in the pissing rain at 9pm....I declined that kind offer.
If anyone has been to Yarmouth they know what many BnB's are like and know the standard of the Troll Cart clientelle x"
I don't get many messages but the majority are the "I'm in London tonight" ones. Then they state somewhere that is just outside London. Even if I did a spontaneous meet it would take me two hours just to get there. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"The joys of living in Yarmouth mean I get no end of messages from men working in the area and wanting me to join them at their BnB.
Had one wanting me to meet the other night at the Troll cart in the pissing rain at 9pm....I declined that kind offer.
If anyone has been to Yarmouth they know what many BnB's are like and know the standard of the Troll Cart clientelle x
I don't get many messages but the majority are the "I'm in London tonight" ones. Then they state somewhere that is just outside London. Even if I did a spontaneous meet it would take me two hours just to get there."
Oh I get so many of those. I have learned from bitter experience that when they say 'I am near York' they are actually in Manchester. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"The joys of living in Yarmouth mean I get no end of messages from men working in the area and wanting me to join them at their BnB.
Had one wanting me to meet the other night at the Troll cart in the pissing rain at 9pm....I declined that kind offer.
If anyone has been to Yarmouth they know what many BnB's are like and know the standard of the Troll Cart clientelle x
I don't get many messages but the majority are the "I'm in London tonight" ones. Then they state somewhere that is just outside London. Even if I did a spontaneous meet it would take me two hours just to get there.
Oh I get so many of those. I have learned from bitter experience that when they say 'I am near York' they are actually in Manchester. "
I could get to Manchester faster than I could to deepest, darkest Kent. |
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Clubs sound a good plan. 