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Too Favour One Over Another
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is going to sound strange but whilst out shopping today all I could think about was buying my son something, i didnt even think about our daughter.
Is it possible to favour one child over another, put simply to have a favourite?
Has anyone else experienced that or grown up themselves in the shadow of their brother or sister? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just pick one and be done with it, make sure you tell them frequently and then they wont have to spend the rest of their lives arguing about who you like best!  |
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am not a parent so dont know how it is when you have more than one child but my experiencefrom growing up is that it swings in roundabouts
i have 2 sisters and have found that there are times when one of us is in more need of help than the others and so at that point in time it seems that they are the favourite and getting everything done for them but i know that if ever i need them my folks'll be there for me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am not a rebellious middle child for no reason! 
My dad favoured my elder sister, and my younger brother gets away with most things.
Leaving me in the middle to fend for myself, etc. etc...
I do get on with my mum better in my adult life though, as my sister does not get on with her, and my mum likes food and shopping so she likes to hang out with me. |
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By *zMaleMan
over a year ago
penzance |
I suffered middle child syndrome. My sis was the 1st born and a girl got away with murder. My Bro the baby of the family got awaty with murder. The rest as they say is history.
They wondered why i joined the Navy as soon as i could LOL |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As someone who was the first grandaughter on both sides of the family you would think I was spoiled, but nope I was always seen as second best to everyone even my own parents.
When my brother was born when I was 7 I was pushed away (quite literally) and the blue eyed boy could do no wrong - even to the point where I walked in from school to get a crack round the ear for breaking an ornament at 2:15pm even when I was in the middle of a gym class then  but my mother couldnt bare to smack her baby for smashing something and someone had to take the blame 
I always resented my brother for the way he was treated so differently to me, but I am now adult enough to realise it wasnt his fault it was my mother who played favourites and made me feel thay way I did.
Hubby on the other hand was the baby and none of his siblings ever resented him for they attention he got or the many things they did without and he got, so I suppose its really down to how you are raised rather than parents having favourites.
I have no favourite with my kids cos my eldest is special cos she is my first born, my youngest is special cos she is my baby, and I rarely buy one something without buying something for the other, it saves arguments and fights over who gets what.  But then my daughters would fight over who breathed the most air 
Shona
x x x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No hun you didnt touch any raw nerves lol I just said how I felt when I was a kid.
I am an adult now I know it wasnt my brothers fault, it was my mother who decided she was going to treat us sooooooooooooo differently.
I can now say I hold no ill feelings towards my brother, and in all honesty him always getting his own way hasnt made him any sort of man (even tho he is now 23) but having to learn to tread very carefully did make me grow up fast and taught me a few lessons that maybe I did need, no matter how I felt at the time
Shona
x x x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They say you can choose your friends but not your family, true. "
.
Indeed!
I do not believe I have to like my sister just because we share the same parents.
So I don't, and no contact with her since 2002 without any regrets! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Had a similar situation with my brother, we fell out over of all things, a book. We didnt speak for 4 years although he did phone me whilst d*unk one night. The only thing we share is our parentage. I dont wish him any harm obviously. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ohh I just remembered something I overheard the other day.
My eldest was moaning to her mates about the youngests birthday party and "how come she gets better stuff than me I had to make do with Mum acting like a sargent major at my birthday party and she (the youngest) gets a party where Mum sat and d*unk coffee all the time and didnt shout once" I had to sit her down and explain that when she was 6 I was able to corral 50 kids and plan the party to the last detail, but now I made the youngest wait til she was 7 til she got her party (cos last year I was soo ill I couldnt move never mind plan anything) and since the youngest got her party somewhere "fancy" the oldest would get to make her own CD with her mates for her 12th
Then suddenly I was the worlds best mum, so I suppose what Im trying to say is no matter how fair and diplomatic you think you are being the kids will always find fault  but its about being loved and cherished rather than how many toys or how expensive something is, that you remember as an adult.
Shona
x x x |
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I did start to notice a tendency towards favouring one of my children over the other one, which made it so difficult when it came to selling them due to cutbacks and the general economic downturn.
Ironically it was the one I favoured least that I got the most money for in the end!
And before anyone decides to report me to social services I do of course jest! I didnt sell them
That would be insane!!
I mean they do all the housework, chores and also work 16 hours a day to bring in the money!
Selling them would only mean I had to do those things myself!
D |
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By *zMaleMan
over a year ago
penzance |
Being the middle chils affected me so much that I refused to have anymore that 2 kids, because I wouldn't put any chilsd through what I had been through. It had such a profound effect.
But I'm NOT saying all parents were like mine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i grew up knowing my parents wanted a boy !! always made to fel second best ....its taken me 50 years to feel good about myself ....i had a son and a daughter i really hope i never made either of them feel second best !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a 12y/o daughter from my first marriage (which ended the day my first wife declared she wasn't having anymore children without even discussing it as she knew I always wanted lots of kids), and I have an 11m/o son from my second marriage, a long awaited for son.
My 12y/o is ecstatic she finally has a sibling to call her own and I have two adorable kids who mean the world to me. I didn't think it would be possible to love another child as much as I love my daughter but it seems my heart is much much bigger than I thought it was. |
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