FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > will in never learn??
will in never learn??
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We have recently decided that we will always try and reply to messages, even if it is a simple no thanks. A courtesy reply if you like. Why did we bother when it only just provokes further messages from the individuals pleading against our refusal,lol. I know this thread is very well covered and do not expect a long debate. It just makes you think - 'you're damned if you reply and damned if you don't' lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah, it's a tough one, and the reason so many do not reply to messages, which then gets people asking on here why people don't reply, it's one vicious circle.
All I can suggest is, if you want to reply to everyone through politeness then if they get abusive, simply report them. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"We have recently decided that we will always try and reply to messages, even if it is a simple no thanks. A courtesy reply if you like. Why did we bother when it only just provokes further messages from the individuals pleading against our refusal,lol. I know this thread is very well covered and do not expect a long debate. It just makes you think - 'you're damned if you reply and damned if you don't' lol"
the only thing you can do is do it your way.... and I don't think people think of the bigger picture when they complain about this...
In the grand scheme of things this shouldn't really be a biggie.... its all suppose to be fun!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"in all fairness nobody has been abusive, it just amusing that you end up trying to justify your decision.so much for having manners and replying lol"
ah, that too, yes it's a pain. some just don't get that no means no, and to pester about it will not change minds. |
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Try this
Thank you for your message. Unfortunately we dont think we quite match and will not be taking things any further at this time.
Once again .. Many thanks and all the very best
has worked well for me and has even had some complimentary replies |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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well said _abio. havin read countless threads on this subject the answer is - there is no answer,lol. the site is comprised of many individuals with different ideas of social etiquette (and quite right too). Whatever you think you are doing for the best, you can guarantee that it will upset someone else,lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We just ignore any further mails trying to convince us to meet once we have said no thanks. But it won't put us off answering the first mail they send."
tut, and don't I know it.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As much as possible, I will reply to all messages, even to send out the standard thanks but no thanks, should any more messages come from the same person, i just deleate unread and block, I dont feel the need to get into conversations with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ive yet to come across this but if you reply to me no thanks, i shouldnt bother you again, they smack of desperate stuck up idiots quite frankly so look at it that you are so much better than them  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"We just ignore any further mails trying to convince us to meet once we have said no thanks. But it won't put us off answering the first mail they send.
tut, and don't I know it. "
lol I do believe you have never been in our box
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We just ignore any further mails trying to convince us to meet once we have said no thanks. But it won't put us off answering the first mail they send.
tut, and don't I know it.
lol I do believe you have never been in our box
"
Who's box?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Try this
Thank you for your message. Unfortunately we dont think we quite match and will not be taking things any further at this time.
Once again .. Many thanks and all the very best
has worked well for me and has even had some complimentary replies"
i like that. polite yet firm. is there any chance that an automated response to this effect could be added to the site? anyone know? |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
But as is always, not everyone will want the same things, not everyone will react in the same way, we are all different....and if we were not, then it would be bloody boring as we would all be clones.
The best thing to do is accept that, and you won't get wound up when things are annoying you because they are not done as you would like. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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you are, of course, quite right. You have to accept everyone is different and you can only do what you think is right. What you cannot factor into the equation is how people will react to a)being ignored, or b) receiving a 'NO' reply.
But as previously mentioned in this thread, does it really matter in the grand scheme of things if we reply or not,lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Try putting thanks but no thanks your not what I am after. Hope you do not take offence but please do not reply to this message as its better to leave someone with a smile rather than a frown. Goodbye and good luck.
It doesn't always work but to long personalised messages i try and reply if i can. With the above you have an excuse for not replying if they do message you again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Try putting thanks but no thanks your not what I am after. Hope you do not take offence but please do not reply to this message as its better to leave someone with a smile rather than a frown. Goodbye and good luck.
It doesn't always work but to long personalised messages i try and reply if i can. With the above you have an excuse for not replying if they do message you again."
thanks. very good idea. you ever considered a career as a diplomat. you would be fab |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have recently decided that we will always try and reply to messages, even if it is a simple no thanks. A courtesy reply if you like. Why did we bother when it only just provokes further messages from the individuals pleading against our refusal,lol. I know this thread is very well covered and do not expect a long debate. It just makes you think - 'you're damned if you reply and damned if you don't' lol"
Which is precisely why we don't reply to messages from people we aren't attracted to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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just read a thread from a single guys view point, which is basically covered in this thread. Think the most effective way forward is to include a few lines on our profile to indicate that a no reply eqautes to 'sorry,not interested'. |
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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago
near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack! |
"We have recently decided that we will always try and reply to messages, even if it is a simple no thanks. A courtesy reply if you like. Why did we bother when it only just provokes further messages from the individuals pleading against our refusal,lol. I know this thread is very well covered and do not expect a long debate. It just makes you think - 'you're damned if you reply and damned if you don't' lol
the only thing you can do is do it your way.... and I don't think people think of the bigger picture when they complain about this...
In the grand scheme of things this shouldn't really be a biggie.... its all suppose to be fun!!!"
You`re right Fabio. I sent my first meet message this afternoon. I read the profile more than once to make sure I didn`t overlook something obvious, wrote what I thought was a polite message and waited. Sadly, there was no reply and when I went to try and re-check that I hadn`t got something wrong, I`ve been blocked.
At first you begin to think bad things because you`ve been blocked, then you remember all of the posts from SFs saying how they hundreds of meet messages every day and think how difficult it is for them to sort the wheat from the chaff. So, a bit miffed here  but taking it on the chin!
If the person who blocked me is reading this, no hard feelings, honestly! |
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If I receive a reply to a mail I always acknowledge it.
Where the answer is a simple thanks, but no thanks I send a message that says “Thanks for your reply, although disappointing it is much appreciated.”
Sometimes if I think that maybe the couple or lady may be very suited to me and via ser versa I may add that I would like them to keep hold of my details and if they change their mind not to hesitate to contact me, but I never expect to get a second reply.
Is this too much?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"just read a thread from a single guys view point, which is basically covered in this thread. Think the most effective way forward is to include a few lines on our profile to indicate that a no reply eqautes to 'sorry,not interested'. "
But do remember, not everyone reads profiles.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It just makes you think - 'you're damned if you reply and damned if you don't' lol"
.
Precisely the reason why I cannot be arsed to respond to unsolicited messages anymore, after I have updated my profile stating as such.
I got a message today from a gent saying I should have responded, and I don't even have any record of him messaging me. Good way to get a response out of me I guess!  |
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we dont reply anymore because 9 times out of 10 the reply to a "no thanks were not interested" is.........."you couples on here are so far up your own arses and think your better than anyone else........and i didnt want to meet you anyway you fat bastards" not as we take any notice but why bother! |
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