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An Autistic Christmas !!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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There has been a lot of threads lately on when and why People put their Christmas decorations up etc.
My 14yr old daughter is so severe with her Autism that she dosn't know what Christmas or her Birthday is all about at all, it's just another day in her routine.
I normally start by putting mine up in stages starting mid November which is normally the tree as it is tucked into a corner and not full on in her face. This has been done this way for years and i have found that it stops all the tempers that go with stepping out of the routine.
At School they will start playing pass the parcel as some of the children like my daughter do not like touching or hearing the paper being torn off, and over the years this has worked too as i have been able to wrap a couple of things like books, which i know she likes but often it is still hand over hand.
She will now just about tolerate sitting at the table with us providing all crackers are pulled in another room. In my house this great but in another sometimes its usually frowned on even from people i know well.
The one thing that she does love is music and we always make time to have a dance with her to the Christmas she likes and "Lady Ga Ga" of course
 .
This is a very difficult and sad time for us parents who try our best to include our children with Autism and to cope with the whole stress of Christmas it's self only to have doors slammed or being beating up because the house dosn't look the same and even depart to the their bedroom and never seen again for that day.
I am still learning as the years go by listening to other parents, not schools or so called professionals about how to make the holiday calm and collected.
One mum takes her son shopping for his own presents and he chooses the wrapping paper and wraps them, so on the day he knows without doubt he is getting what he wants and how many and it works.
To finish this off I would like everyone to step back and see something different if you see a Christmas in the window as early as November, because you just never know what is going on behind that door
Thank you for reading this, it is mean't as a bit of incite and not a moan at all  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Shinning throughout your post is that your Daughter receives the greatest amount of unconditional love from her very caring mother …….
I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas to remember..
xxx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've just had a meeting at a School for Children with Special Educational Needs and was having a very similar conversation with a family about Eid and birthdays. They actually have a big wall chart with the dates on and everyday will tell the child with an ASD how many more days there are until certain events occurring. This prepares him, gives him warning and also is a routine for big family events.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well done OP in writing this thread and an insight and raising awarness on autisum 
My son aspergers syndrome, hence me been single 14 yrs as he dont like sharing me lol its was hard work when he was young, but as years go on it gets easier to live with. Can honestly say id not change him
You carry on doing what your doing. Follow your gut you know best. My son has an obsession with wwe wrestling. But it makes him happy so be it.
People can be too quick to judge. But keep your head high and keep calm when others dont understand, its just ignorance on their part maybe no fault of their own just unaware of the problems it can cause.
Just raise awareness and carry on been a great mum xx |
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thankyou.... it is something we never ever thought about or associated with things like people putting their decorations up so early, just thought some were "jumping the gun" this puts a whole new perspective to it and i will no longer look upon those who put their tree etc up early as complete idiots.
I have been humbled |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thank you so much for this eye-opening post. It really is heartening to see the option of starting a thread used for such an educational purpose. What you're dealing with is not something I have personally encountered, and I have deep respect for those who do and manage to cope.
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"thankyou.... it is something we never ever thought about or associated with things like people putting their decorations up so early, just thought some were "jumping the gun" this puts a whole new perspective to it and i will no longer look upon those who put their tree etc up early as complete idiots.
I have been humbled "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There has been a lot of threads lately on when and why People put their Christmas decorations up etc.
My 14yr old daughter is so severe with her Autism that she dosn't know what Christmas or her Birthday is all about at all, it's just another day in her routine.
I normally start by putting mine up in stages starting mid November which is normally the tree as it is tucked into a corner and not full on in her face. This has been done this way for years and i have found that it stops all the tempers that go with stepping out of the routine.
At School they will start playing pass the parcel as some of the children like my daughter do not like touching or hearing the paper being torn off, and over the years this has worked too as i have been able to wrap a couple of things like books, which i know she likes but often it is still hand over hand.
She will now just about tolerate sitting at the table with us providing all crackers are pulled in another room. In my house this great but in another sometimes its usually frowned on even from people i know well.
The one thing that she does love is music and we always make time to have a dance with her to the Christmas she likes and "Lady Ga Ga" of course
.
This is a very difficult and sad time for us parents who try our best to include our children with Autism and to cope with the whole stress of Christmas it's self only to have doors slammed or being beating up because the house dosn't look the same and even depart to the their bedroom and never seen again for that day.
I am still learning as the years go by listening to other parents, not schools or so called professionals about how to make the holiday calm and collected.
One mum takes her son shopping for his own presents and he chooses the wrapping paper and wraps them, so on the day he knows without doubt he is getting what he wants and how many and it works.
To finish this off I would like everyone to step back and see something different if you see a Christmas in the window as early as November, because you just never know what is going on behind that door
Thank you for reading this, it is mean't as a bit of incite and not a moan at all "
I have a PM for you. Can't sent coz not site supporter. Maybe you remember we've messaged before. All positive about some stuff I'm doing to help my son which might be useful for you.
Typed it up but don't wanna send on open forum. Not specific to Christmas which I try to downplay but not easy with a 9 and 6 year old boys.
Great to see your post is informing others and hopefully may even reach some of the arses who always like to tut and point |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Thank you so much for this insight. It's something I had never considered.
I have experience of producing and delivering training material on a variety of mental health issues so I try to be as aware of the issues facing people with any health or behavioural difficulty, and their families and carers. Every now and again though I hear, see or read something that had never occurred to me.
Your love for your daughter is clear and the extent to which you go to include and support her is incredible. I, too, am humbled to read this, and grateful for the new perspective.
I hope you all have a great Christmas. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am blessed by having 4 beautiful, bright and loving children.
Next time someone leaves a plate in their bedroom I will realise how lucky I am.
I hope everyone lucky enough to have kids who aren't blighted by illness all give their kids an extra hug tonight. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There has been a lot of threads lately on when and why People put their Christmas decorations up etc.
My 14yr old daughter is so severe with her Autism that she dosn't know what Christmas or her Birthday is all about at all, it's just another day in her routine.
I normally start by putting mine up in stages starting mid November which is normally the tree as it is tucked into a corner and not full on in her face. This has been done this way for years and i have found that it stops all the tempers that go with stepping out of the routine.
At School they will start playing pass the parcel as some of the children like my daughter do not like touching or hearing the paper being torn off, and over the years this has worked too as i have been able to wrap a couple of things like books, which i know she likes but often it is still hand over hand.
She will now just about tolerate sitting at the table with us providing all crackers are pulled in another room. In my house this great but in another sometimes its usually frowned on even from people i know well.
The one thing that she does love is music and we always make time to have a dance with her to the Christmas she likes and "Lady Ga Ga" of course
.
This is a very difficult and sad time for us parents who try our best to include our children with Autism and to cope with the whole stress of Christmas it's self only to have doors slammed or being beating up because the house dosn't look the same and even depart to the their bedroom and never seen again for that day.
I am still learning as the years go by listening to other parents, not schools or so called professionals about how to make the holiday calm and collected.
One mum takes her son shopping for his own presents and he chooses the wrapping paper and wraps them, so on the day he knows without doubt he is getting what he wants and how many and it works.
To finish this off I would like everyone to step back and see something different if you see a Christmas in the window as early as November, because you just never know what is going on behind that door
Thank you for reading this, it is mean't as a bit of incite and not a moan at all "
Well i for one, feel very humbled.
We all make throw away comments without ever knowing what is happening behind close doors.
I wish you and yours a fantastic christmas and hope its as stressless as possible |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I read your post and thought I would mention that I just raised money for an autism charity. Not really sure why I am telling you this, maybe only to let you know that there are at least some of us thinking of you and wishing things like this didn't exist. Wishing you well..... |
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If others dont have the flexibility to cope with having to adapt to having people like your child around, without passing dismissite judgement, then it is only their loss, highlighting their own deficiencies in lack of tolerance and acceptance of others. Wishing you all a wonderful christmas |
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