FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Please don't slate me for this

Please don't slate me for this

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

But its a question that I need to know .

Me personaly could never watch someone I loved having sex with someone else.

Could not cope with the jealousy I would feel

If she moaned louder .. Cum harder . Did things with him that she has never done with you . And just the fact she has chose him and fancies the pants off him.

So I suppose my question is " How do you cope with those emotions ?

I am not judging anyone because the 2 people I have ever loved in my life cheated on me

And from what I see and read on here the people who swing are very happy and in fantastic relationships xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I apologise . My post looks as though its only aimed at the male partners because it is coming from a males perspective

Obviously the same question goes to the female partners xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was lucky enough to be married to a man I really loved would not have been swinging with him , but we are good and not jealous it does work sometimes .

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I think from what i see is that the couples well most have built up a loving trusting relationship way before they decided to swing so they have the trust there and some find it a turn on seeing their partner with someone. I think as long as the foundation is there then jealously and or that will not raise its head or if it does they are able to talk through it. I've seen 20 odd year marriages break up as a result of swinging but i believe the marriage was damaged before they started to swing.. could i see my partner with someone else the answer is im not sure as I've yet to do this with someone i love.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't think swinging is for you.

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

More importantly what do you think when you are playing with a couple?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always thought id be extremely jealous but it was my idea to have an open relationship. The thought doesn't bother me but we haven't done it in front of each other yet and if that does happen i don't know how i will react unfortunately

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can see where you are coming from toshn considering your past experiences.

Relationships have to be strong for swinging to be enjoyed within a couple. Its not about another person being better than your partner just different experiences. We enjoy seeing the other giving and receiving pleasurebfrom others. If jealousy reared its head then it would be time to stop swinging.

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By *illwill69uMan over a year ago

moston

In all honesty the only time I have been hurt or felt jealousy was when I was been rejected by my ex while she paraded the fact she was working her way through my friends before she finally left me...(Long time ago so no sympathy required). So there has never been an issue with my partner being with someone else.

On the other hand you do seem to have issues and I would suggest that maybe swinging is not for you.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

in fairness he is not asking if he should swing or not....he is simply asking if anyone gets jealous seeing their partner being fucked by another person...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"More importantly what do you think when you are playing with a couple?"
I know if they are swinging that they are happy in the choices they have made so I do not feel guilty having sex with the lady x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"in fairness he is not asking if he should swing or not....he is simply asking if anyone gets jealous seeing their partner being fucked by another person..."
Thanks . Cheeky xx

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By *kin BohnerMan over a year ago

derby

Its about trust respect and honesty. If you dont have them in a relationship its doomed swing or no swing. Frankly though I assume you are only looking for single women because it would be a tad hypocritical if you met couples or attached women.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"In all honesty the only time I have been hurt or felt jealousy was when I was been rejected by my ex while she paraded the fact she was working her way through my friends before she finally left me...(Long time ago so no sympathy required). So there has never been an issue with my partner being with someone else.

On the other hand you do seem to have issues and I would suggest that maybe swinging is not for you."
Like I said I could not do it so would never swing . I yes I would have issues with it that is true x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ive done it with my now ex husband and it didn't work with him ....

Ive done it with someone I've met off here in a threesome way and I felt like a spectator ... that didn't work

I personally when I find someone I love and they love me - this wouldn't be what either of us would want.

So ... no I couldn't watch the person I love have sex with someone else

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think if you feel secure in your relationship it's fine it doesn't happen.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't see it as hypocritical. Just because we are happy to let others join us as a couple doesn't mean those people have to do the same. I don't get that argument at all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

and what would you do if you found your love while she was swinging?

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

an honest question and that must be applauded.

I think it is seeing their partners in any form of sexual delight that is the 'high' for them both and the fact that they have clear boundaries set.

continue to enjoy your life as a single guy enjoying sexual pleasure with people who enjoy fun with you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"and what would you do if you found your love while she was swinging?"
Good question . If I loved her I would ask her to stop swinging x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"an honest question and that must be applauded.

I think it is seeing their partners in any form of sexual delight that is the 'high' for them both and the fact that they have clear boundaries set.

continue to enjoy your life as a single guy enjoying sexual pleasure with people who enjoy fun with you.

"
Thank you . Was expecting a slating for asking this question x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"and what would you do if you found your love while she was swinging? Good question . If I loved her I would ask her to stop swinging x"

If she loved you and knew your stance on it she wouldn't caught with someone else

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"and what would you do if you found your love while she was swinging? Good question . If I loved her I would ask her to stop swinging x"

And if she said no?

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By *kin BohnerMan over a year ago

derby

"Its about trust respect and honesty. If you dont have them in a relationship its doomed swing or no swing. Frankly though I assume you are only looking for single women because it would be a tad hypocritical if you met couples or attached women. Why would that be hypocritical ? If I went with a couple it would be because they are happy in what they chose . I am just saying I would not . Like I said its just a question not a judgement x"
Because you are asking others to do what you would not do. Its like your morals only work one way a bit like the thief who creates merry hell if he is robbed. Not comparing you to a thief its just an analagy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"and what would you do if you found your love while she was swinging? Good question . If I loved her I would ask her to stop swinging x

If she loved you and knew your stance on it she wouldn't caught with someone else

Ah I read that question in the wrong way

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its about trust respect and honesty. If you dont have them in a relationship its doomed swing or no swing. Frankly though I assume you are only looking for single women because it would be a tad hypocritical if you met couples or attached women. Why would that be hypocritical ? If I went with a couple it would be because they are happy in what they chose . I am just saying I would not . Like I said its just a question not a judgement x Because you are asking others to do what you would not do. Its like your morals only work one way a bit like the thief who creates merry hell if he is robbed. Not comparing you to a thief its just an analagy. "

What utter nonsense ...

Why do people try to raise a debate on a question that requires NO debate at all

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

"an honest question and that must be applauded.

I think it is seeing their partners in any form of sexual delight that is the 'high' for them both and the fact that they have clear boundaries set.

continue to enjoy your life as a single guy enjoying sexual pleasure with people who enjoy fun with you.

Thank you . Was expecting a slating for asking this question x"

I would suggest you are not alone in your thinking. I have often read both ladies and guys who play alone and state that if they meet someone special, they would give swinging up.

meantime, enjoy and good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Its about trust respect and honesty. If you dont have them in a relationship its doomed swing or no swing. Frankly though I assume you are only looking for single women because it would be a tad hypocritical if you met couples or attached women. Why would that be hypocritical ? If I went with a couple it would be because they are happening in what they chose . I am just saying I would not . Like I said its just a question not a judgement x Because you are asking others to do what you would not do. Its like your morals only work one way a bit like the thief who creates merry hell if he is robbed. Not comparing you to a thief its just an analagy. "
I am really not asking anyone to do anything . I am saying I could not . I really don't know where you

Are coming from with this . Like I said . This is not a judgement . So please don't twist this x

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

Why is it hypocritical? Where does it say that if a couple invite you to join them you MUST invite them to join you when you find a new partner? If couples only want couples they should only play with couples. Of they are happy go share their sex life with a single that's their choice.

By your reckoning this site would be filled with unhappy volatile couples who swing justbecause tthey may have had Atherstone in the past.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't see it as hypocritical. Just because we are happy to let others join us as a couple doesn't mean those people have to do the same. I don't get that argument at all.

OP I think it's a fair question. Nothing wrong with asking at all. x

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By *eeriseWoman over a year ago

Manchester and that's all you need to know

"and what would you do if you found your love while she was swinging? Good question . If I loved her I would ask her to stop swinging x"

But if you meet someone swinging how do you know she would give it up just to please you? I think you could possibly not trust her after awhile.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

We where both swingers when we met, so never had the talk about swinging. We where both on the same wavelength.

Sex with others is a hobby, I have a fantastic time and so does he, but no muc I care for someone I've been seeing for ages it all comes back to NSA recreational fun for us

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its about trust respect and honesty. If you dont have them in a relationship its doomed swing or no swing. Frankly though I assume you are only looking for single women because it would be a tad hypocritical if you met couples or attached women. Why would that be hypocritical ? If I went with a couple it would be because they are happy in what they chose . I am just saying I would not . Like I said its just a question not a judgement x Because you are asking others to do what you would not do. Its like your morals only work one way a bit like the thief who creates merry hell if he is robbed. Not comparing you to a thief its just an analagy. "

I don't follow your train owf thought on this! The OP is stating he would not be comfortable watching his partner being shared but if he joins a couple who are quite comfortable inviting in a 3rd person he us happy to oblige. I don't see how that is double standards??

he isn't saying one thing but doing another now is he??

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"Its about trust respect and honesty. If you dont have them in a relationship its doomed swing or no swing. Frankly though I assume you are only looking for single women because it would be a tad hypocritical if you met couples or attached women. Why would that be hypocritical ? If I went with a couple it would be because they are happy in what they chose . I am just saying I would not . Like I said its just a question not a judgement x Because you are asking others to do what you would not do. Its like your morals only work one way a bit like the thief who creates merry hell if he is robbed. Not comparing you to a thief its just an analagy. "

He isn't asking anyone to do anything. He is being invited to join people to fulfil their fantasy. If someone want an mmf how do hoi think they achieve that without inviting a single male in? He is just obliging that's all.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"and what would you do if you found your love while she was swinging? Good question . If I loved her I would ask her to stop swinging x

But if you meet someone swinging how do you know she would give it up just to please you? I think you could possibly not trust her after awhile."

I had a non-swinging relationship for a while. He knew I met men for NSA sex and gave it up for him, but couldn't forget it and was possessive and jealous all the time.

No-one knows how we will behave in a situation until we are put in that situation. I suspect that, if I really really cared for someone, I would probably not be happy watching them with someone else. Fortunately I have not been put in that position and never will be.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Love isn't about ownership, its trust, respect and above all honesty. If anything either partner is doing is causing bad feelings that's where the honesty comes in.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Op....toshn . I understand what you mean and if I had a partner who I loved I really don't think I could watch them with someone else and I don't think I'd understand it if they watched me with others but that's me . Not saying couples that play with others or swap are wrong just I don't think I could do it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"and what would you do if you found your love while she was swinging? Good question . If I loved her I would ask her to stop swinging x

But if you meet someone swinging how do you know she would give it up just to please you? I think you could possibly not trust her after awhile."
I dont know if she would give it up and if she chose not to then I could not have that relationship xx

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Op do you think that people who enjoy watching their partner with someone else don't love them enough or feel that they're lacking in some way?

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple over a year ago

bedford

I use to be a very jealous person .and would not have dreamed of letting my wife get involved with other guys .but life threw some horrible events by me and losing family and friends made me change .one night I was out with wideband some guy jokingly groped her as she had a revealing top on .I got aroused then a few times in my job women would come to their doors near naked .putting ideas in my head .we were married 20 years and our sex life was was a bit routine .so we started discussing fantasies .it took my wife a while to agree .so we thought we would give it a go .we have had some really good meets .and have found a club we like .we swing 2 or 3 times a year and have mega fun .I really enjoy watching wife with other guys and she enjoys playing with dems too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"But its a question that I need to know .

Me personaly could never watch someone I loved having sex with someone else.

Could not cope with the jealousy I would feel

If she moaned louder .. Cum harder . Did things with him that she has never done with you . And just the fact she has chose him and fancies the pants off him.

So I suppose my question is " How do you cope with those emotions ?

I am not judging anyone because the 2 people I have ever loved in my life cheated on me

And from what I see and read on here the people who swing are very happy and in fantastic relationships xx"

Yup gotta agree I couldn't imagine someone that I truly love and care about getting all holes filled by anyone other than myself, luckily this site is not aimed solely for couples .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Op do you think that people who enjoy watching their partner with someone else don't love them enough or feel that they're lacking in some way? "
No no not at all . Like I said from what I see and read on here . Couples in here love each other to bits and are very very happy .xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP, the best way I can describe it is like this- it's like watching someone open a birthday present, or eat a cake. There's nothing to be jealous of, you're just watching them enjoy themself. It makes you feel good to watch them happy. Hope that makes sense.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People really get defensive on here .....

I do wonder sometimes I truly do

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"OP, the best way I can describe it is like this- it's like watching someone open a birthday present, or eat a cake. There's nothing to be jealous of, you're just watching them enjoy themself. It makes you feel good to watch them happy. Hope that makes sense.

"
Yes it does xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The person loves YOU, not the cake or the present. It's you they come back to, you that makes their life complete. They are just enjoying the situation but it's different- not what you have together.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"People really get defensive on here .....

I do wonder sometimes I truly do"

Who's getting defensive and what do you wonder?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've never swung when I've had a partner so I guess THAT tells u something about me - altho all my relationships have been open. I see what toshn is getting at tho. Obviously there does have to b a tremendous amount of trust n honesty between a couple who swing as no doubt occasions must arise when (say for example) an invited in male/female is fitter than one's OH etc etc. It's not something I've really given thought to before when I've joined others but I certainly shall in future. Good thread OP!

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By *kin BohnerMan over a year ago

derby

"Its about trust respect and honesty. If you dont have them in a relationship its doomed swing or no swing. Frankly though I assume you are only looking for single women because it would be a tad hypocritical if you met couples or attached women. Why would that be hypocritical ? If I went with a couple it would be because they are happening in what they chose . I am just saying I would not . Like I said its just a question not a judgement x Because you are asking others to do what you would not do. Its like your morals only work one way a bit like the thief who creates merry hell if he is robbed. Not comparing you to a thief its just an analagy. I am really not asking anyone to do anything . I am saying I could not . I really don't know where you

Are coming from with this . Like I said . This is not a judgement . So please don't twist this x"
I am twisting nothing! I am not even judging you I just think you want it both ways as in happy to put it about with other attached women but expect any possible partner to be chaste and faithfull. It is up to you and the people you meet but I find it odd. I am allowed my own opinion.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hard to explain but it works for us as its not real life, its just sex and we are able to split the swing lifestyle from normal life, when donna is having a bad day its me she comes to for comfort, when she got promotion at work I was the first to know, we work at everything together, theres no emotional attachment with playmates, we dont play alone, only same room so for me she can moan and groan and enjoy another mans cock as much as she likes, at the end of the day its me she snuggles up to at night

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"People really get defensive on here .....

I do wonder sometimes I truly do"

Me too.

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By *eryBigGirlWoman over a year ago

East Yorkshire

I'm with toshn on this one. I know I couldn't be in a swinging relationship with someone I loved and see them with someone else. I have the upmost respect for the couples that do in fact am probably a little jealous as I like the idea but not sure I could deal with the emotions of it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its about trust respect and honesty. If you dont have them in a relationship its doomed swing or no swing. Frankly though I assume you are only looking for single women because it would be a tad hypocritical if you met couples or attached women. Why would that be hypocritical ? If I went with a couple it would be because they are happening in what they chose . I am just saying I would not . Like I said its just a question not a judgement x Because you are asking others to do what you would not do. Its like your morals only work one way a bit like the thief who creates merry hell if he is robbed. Not comparing you to a thief its just an analagy. I am really not asking anyone to do anything . I am saying I could not . I really don't know where you

Are coming from with this . Like I said . This is not a judgement . So please don't twist this x I am twisting nothing! I am not even judging you I just think you want it both ways as in happy to put it about with other attached women but expect any possible partner to be chaste and faithfull. It is up to you and the people you meet but I find it odd. I am allowed my own opinion. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

From what I see, couples that swing have an amazing connection. They are secure, in love and trust each other.

I play with one half of a couple and the way he adores his wife is just lovely.

I'd love to be in that position but for the same reasons as you, I find it hard to trust and think I'd get jealous but that is the reason I wouldn't have a vanilla relationship either right now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"People really get defensive on here .....

I do wonder sometimes I truly do

Me too.

Im late for work ...or I may have a mini rant

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Its about trust respect and honesty. If you dont have them in a relationship its doomed swing or no swing. Frankly though I assume you are only looking for single women because it would be a tad hypocritical if you met couples or attached women. Why would that be hypocritical ? If I went with a couple it would be because they are happening in what they chose . I am just saying I would not . Like I said its just a question not a judgement x Because you are asking others to do what you would not do. Its like your morals only work one way a bit like the thief who creates merry hell if he is robbed. Not comparing you to a thief its just an analagy. I am really not asking anyone to do anything . I am saying I could not . I really don't know where you

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"and what would you do if you found your love while she was swinging? Good question . If I loved her I would ask her to stop swinging x

But if you meet someone swinging how do you know she would give it up just to please you? I think you could possibly not trust her after awhile.

I had a non-swinging relationship for a while. He knew I met men for NSA sex and gave it up for him, but couldn't forget it and was possessive and jealous all the time."

Whoops! *HE couldn't forget it. Although I was a bit miffed at giving up the NSA for someone who clearly didn't enjoy sex as much as me. Always the way eh?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its about trust respect and honesty. If you dont have them in a relationship its doomed swing or no swing. Frankly though I assume you are only looking for single women because it would be a tad hypocritical if you met couples or attached women. Why would that be hypocritical ? If I went with a couple it would be because they are happy in what they chose . I am just saying I would not . Like I said its just a question not a judgement x Because you are asking others to do what you would not do. Its like your morals only work one way a bit like the thief who creates merry hell if he is robbed. Not comparing you to a thief its just an analagy.

he isn't saying one thing but doing another now is he??

well yeah-he kind of is...what it appears he is saying is that while he's happy to enter into someone elses relationship even if it is on their terms-his would be so much more special that than theirs that he wouldn't allow his partner the same potential pleasure even if she wanted it to protect his own feelings...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've never swung when I've had a partner so I guess THAT tells u something about me - altho all my relationships have been open. I see what toshn is getting at tho. Obviously there does have to b a tremendous amount of trust n honesty between a couple who swing as no doubt occasions must arise when (say for example) an invited in male/female is fitter than one's OH etc etc. It's not something I've really given thought to before when I've joined others but I certainly shall in future. Good thread OP! "

Good point about someone being hotter. I will never be hot/ blonde/ tall/ massive boobs/ short/ small boobs/ brunette etc etc. My guy gets to enjoy all those things with someone else... but he comes back to me.

If one day he decided he prefers someone other than me then I'll wish him well. If I'm not what he wants then so be it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If one day he decided he prefers someone other than me then I'll wish him well. If I'm not what he wants then so be it. "

Yes I can see/agree with what you say there. I guess couples have discussed/dealt with that issue early on in their swing history n sorted it. Interesting talking point tho innit

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its about trust respect and honesty. If you dont have them in a relationship its doomed swing or no swing. Frankly though I assume you are only looking for single women because it would be a tad hypocritical if you met couples or attached women. Why would that be hypocritical ? If I went with a couple it would be because they are happy in what they chose . I am just saying I would not . Like I said its just a question not a judgement x Because you are asking others to do what you would not do. Its like your morals only work one way a bit like the thief who creates merry hell if he is robbed. Not comparing you to a thief its just an analagy.

he isn't saying one thing but doing another now is he??

No he hasn't said that at all, in any way shape or form. He is merely asking how people swing without jealousy. He isn't making any judgements.

If you read something else into what he said, perhaps you need to reassess your own situation/ feelings.

I have seen this question asked before by guys that do think they/ theit relationships are 'better' than swingers. He has not said that at all.

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By *eeriseWoman over a year ago

Manchester and that's all you need to know

"and what would you do if you found your love while she was swinging? Good question . If I loved her I would ask her to stop swinging x

But if you meet someone swinging how do you know she would give it up just to please you? I think you could possibly not trust her after awhile. I dont know if she would give it up and if she chose not to then I could not have that relationship xx"

So are you saying that you would be willing to sleep with a swinger and if she doesn't turn Vanilla you would rather leave it??? But if the person knows this wouldn't you just be forcing them to do it behind your back?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Like I have said the only 2 ladies I have ever loved cheated on me so how could I possibly be judging couples who are blissfully happy and swinging . That is not what I was asking x

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By *innamon!Woman over a year ago

no matter

"But its a question that I need to know .

Me personaly could never watch someone I loved having sex with someone else.

Could not cope with the jealousy I would feel

If she moaned louder .. Cum harder . Did things with him that she has never done with you . And just the fact she has chose him and fancies the pants off him.

So I suppose my question is " How do you cope with those emotions ?

I am not judging anyone because the 2 people I have ever loved in my life cheated on me

And from what I see and read on here the people who swing are very happy and in fantastic relationships xx"

***********

I would be far too jealous to share the one I loved.. agree totally with what you say.

Couldnt cope seeing my man touching someone else or being played with him.. grrr noo .

No idea how people manage to share each other at all

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

[Removed by poster at 11/11/13 07:51:30]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I dunno why people are getting het up about what I read as the OP 's innocuous enquiry about how couples square the sharing of their partner. He merely stated he didn't feel he could do it. He wasn't moralizing on those that can.

The fact he can function in an mmf situation with a couple has no bearing in how he would feel if it was another male with his partner. Sheeeeesh people get touchy quickly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its about trust respect and honesty. If you dont have them in a relationship its doomed swing or no swing. Frankly though I assume you are only looking for single women because it would be a tad hypocritical if you met couples or attached women. Why would that be hypocritical ? If I went with a couple it would be because they are happy in what they chose . I am just saying I would not . Like I said its just a question not a judgement x Because you are asking others to do what you would not do. Its like your morals only work one way a bit like the thief who creates merry hell if he is robbed. Not comparing you to a thief its just an analagy.

he isn't saying one thing but doing another now is he??

No he hasn't said that at all, in any way shape or form. He is merely asking how people swing without jealousy. He isn't making any judgements.

If you read something else into what he said, perhaps you need to reassess your own situation/ feelings.

I have seen this question asked before by guys that do think they/ theit relationships are 'better' than swingers. He has not said that at all."

reassess my own situation/ feelings exactly how?

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

"Its about trust respect and honesty. If you dont have them in a relationship its doomed swing or no swing. Frankly though I assume you are only looking for single women because it would be a tad hypocritical if you met couples or attached women. Why would that be hypocritical ? If I went with a couple it would be because they are happy in what they chose . I am just saying I would not . Like I said its just a question not a judgement x Because you are asking others to do what you would not do. Its like your morals only work one way a bit like the thief who creates merry hell if he is robbed. Not comparing you to a thief its just an analagy.

he isn't saying one thing but doing another now is he??

No he hasn't said that at all, in any way shape or form. He is merely asking how people swing without jealousy. He isn't making any judgements.

If you read something else into what he said, perhaps you need to reassess your own situation/ feelings.

I have seen this question asked before by guys that do think they/ theit relationships are 'better' than swingers. He has not said that at all."

I must admit I saw it the same way as Janey and Monkey, and having re-read the thread can't see it any differently.

In the past we have stopped play (in a club) because the guy said something similar. It just made us feel uncomfortable.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

am i reading the shame opening post...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP you mention that the two people in your life you have loved both cheated on you.

I can see that being the case why you would feel like this.

But you may meet Mrs wonderful one day who you trust 100%. After being on the swinging scene could you settle into a monogamous relationship when you know the sweetie shop is only a click away ?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"OP you mention that the two people in your life you have loved both cheated on you.

I can see that being the case why you would feel like this.

But you may meet Mrs wonderful one day who you trust 100%. After being on the swinging scene could you settle into a monogamous relationship when you know the sweetie shop is only a click away ?"

I think you have a point there....that maybe it was the relationships and not the act.

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

"Like I have said the only 2 ladies I have ever loved cheated on me so how could I possibly be judging couples who are blissfully happy and swinging . That is not what I was asking x"

Which means to me that you are equating swinging with cheating which may be why some people aren't comfortable with it.

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By *hecat007Woman over a year ago

Round the corner

I don't really class myself as being a "swinger " as have no oar tent as such to swing with or ask their permission or "cheat " ect ...however if I did and was a solid loving relationship then I'd give my whole to that person and no one else ...till then if or when it happensI hold my own council and make my own choices and just please myself who I see and what I get up to

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OP you mention that the two people in your life you have loved both cheated on you.

I can see that being the case why you would feel like this.

But you may meet Mrs wonderful one day who you trust 100%. After being on the swinging scene could you settle into a monogamous relationship when you know the sweetie shop is only a click away ?"

I guess that's one of life's imponderables innit? Cos some people I imagine COULD walk away n never look back n some others would succumb to temptation n return. Bit like smoking! Some give up n never again touch a ciggy whilst others cave in. I guess it's unanswerable until the eventual luxury of hindsight

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I am truly sorry if I offended any couples

Honestly that was not my intention and if it came across wrong I apologise xx

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By *reelove1969Couple over a year ago

bristol

we love it ..find it very horny having other people involved in our sex lives and have a few regular friends who join us ....jealousy has never occured in our relationship as we all just take it for what it is ...abit of additional fun where we all end up in bed together !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Like I have said the only 2 ladies I have ever loved cheated on me so how could I possibly be judging couples who are blissfully happy and swinging . That is not what I was asking x

Which means to me that you are equating swinging with cheating which may be why some people aren't comfortable with it."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Like I have said the only 2 ladies I have ever loved cheated on me so how could I possibly be judging couples who are blissfully happy and swinging . That is not what I was asking x

Which means to me that you are equating swinging with cheating which may be why some people aren't comfortable with it."

Is it me? Your equation has rhyme nor reason, and is definitely NOT what OP said or even implicated.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Like I have said the only 2 ladies I have ever loved cheated on me so how could I possibly be judging couples who are blissfully happy and swinging . That is not what I was asking x

Which means to me that you are equating swinging with cheating which may be why some people aren't comfortable with it.

I think if I was in OP situation I would also feel very wary because swinging for couples takes trust and he hasn't experienced that in his relationships. I don't think he's saying swinging is cheating at all. "
I am not at all . My original post was I could not do it . Was not judging anyone else doing it .xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am truly sorry if I offended any couples

Honestly that was not my intention and if it came across wrong I apologise xx"

You didnt offend us, we took the question for what it was

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i couldnt do this with someone i was inlove with. im more of an old fashioned kinda guy when it comes to love and romance

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"But its a question that I need to know .

Me personaly could never watch someone I loved having sex with someone else.

Could not cope with the jealousy I would feel

If she moaned louder .. Cum harder . Did things with him that she has never done with you . And just the fact she has chose him and fancies the pants off him.

So I suppose my question is " How do you cope with those emotions ?

I am not judging anyone because the 2 people I have ever loved in my life cheated on me

And from what I see and read on here the people who swing are very happy and in fantastic relationships xx"

I totally understand where you are coming from.

I have been to clubs and had mff 3sums but find it much easier with someone I'm not in love with. I once did a 3sum with someone I had deep feelings for and I found it very difficult.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/11/13 08:13:31]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree with this.

OP at it's most fundamental level this^^ is what your really saying.

To answer your question directly I think it's very "pot kettle black" to do/partake in something you wouldn't personally do/be comfortable with yourself in a reverse situation.

Personally..I wouldn't have a problem with "swinging" in it's true sense.

In fact I tried my damn best to get my ex to join this site before I ultimately did.

$0.02

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

"I am truly sorry if I offended any couples

Honestly that was not my intention and if it came across wrong I apologise xx"

We weren't offended at all

It was a good question.

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

"Like I have said the only 2 ladies I have ever loved cheated on me so how could I possibly be judging couples who are blissfully happy and swinging . That is not what I was asking x

Which means to me that you are equating swinging with cheating which may be why some people aren't comfortable with it.

Is it me? Your equation has rhyme nor reason, and is definitely NOT what OP said or even implicated. "

So why was cheating mentioned then. I can't see any other way it would have a bearing on this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree with this.

OP at it's most fundamental level this^^ is what your really saying.

To answer your question directly I think it's very "pot kettle black" to do/partake in something you wouldn't personally do/be comfortable with yourself in a reverse situation.

Personally..I wouldn't have a problem with "swinging" in it's true sense.

In fact I tried my damn best to get my ex to join this site before I ultimately did.

$0.02"

More like OP is saying whilst he does enjoy partaking with other couples, he would not have the self esteem or self confidence to do this in his own relationship , which is on stark contrast to what you're suggesting.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree with this.

OP at it's most fundamental level this^^ is what your really saying.

To answer your question directly I think it's very "pot kettle black" to do/partake in something you wouldn't personally do/be comfortable with yourself in a reverse situation.

Personally..I wouldn't have a problem with "swinging" in it's true sense.

In fact I tried my damn best to get my ex to join this site before I ultimately did.

$0.02

....you've bastardized his post.

Where does he say he has self esteem issues?...he doesn't.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree with this _iew. Love is not about possession or fear of losing its about love. Seeing someone you love enjoying themselves makes you feel good. To be honest the fact they play and come back to you is a huge turn on for me. You can't possess a person, but swinging and going home together adds to the love through want, honesty and trust.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

....you've bastardized his post.

Where does he say he has self esteem issues?...he doesn't.

Indeed, OP doesn't.

If people can't even read one simple question, then a sensible discussion is impossible.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"an honest question and that must be applauded.

I think it is seeing their partners in any form of sexual delight that is the 'high' for them both and the fact that they have clear boundaries set.

continue to enjoy your life as a single guy enjoying sexual pleasure with people who enjoy fun with you.

Thank you . Was expecting a slating for asking this question x"

People have been slated for asking similar but I think it is down to the non-judgemental and honest way the question was posted

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People have been slated for asking similar but I think it is down to the non-judgemental and honest way the question was posted

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree with this.

OP at it's most fundamental level this^^ is what your really saying.

To answer your question directly I think it's very "pot kettle black" to do/partake in something you wouldn't personally do/be comfortable with yourself in a reverse situation.

Personally..I wouldn't have a problem with "swinging" in it's true sense.

In fact I tried my damn best to get my ex to join this site before I ultimately did.

$0.02

....you've bastardized his post.

Where does he say he has self esteem issues?...he doesn't.

OP states he would be jealous. OP states his two loves have cheated on him. How do you interprete that Einstein

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

....you've bastardized his post.

Where does he say he has self esteem issues?...he doesn't.

Indeed, OP doesn't.

If people can't even read one simple question, then a sensible discussion is impossible."

And your answer to his question is?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/11/13 08:41:02]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I totally see where the OP is coming from ... I feel exactly the same, well I actually know I couldn't swing with someone I loved

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP states he would be jealous. OP states his two loves have cheated on him. How do you interprete that Einstein

I'd inteprete that to mean:

"Have sex with single fems and not couples" then.

Otherwise it's pot kettle black.

The OP has asked the question genuinely but that doesn't change the fundamentals of it.

Self esteem means lack of self respect (to my mind) which is not what he is saying.

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By *D40Couple over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"But its a question that I need to know .

Me personaly could never watch someone I loved having sex with someone else.

Could not cope with the jealousy I would feel

If she moaned louder .. Cum harder . Did things with him that she has never done with you . And just the fact she has chose him and fancies the pants off him.

So I suppose my question is " How do you cope with those emotions ?

I am not judging anyone because the 2 people I have ever loved in my life cheated on me

And from what I see and read on here the people who swing are very happy and in fantastic relationships xx"

We have played with my best friend 4 times before joining fab & a couple of times I got hurt because I am an emotional person. However, if I'm just watching I delight in seeing him give & receive pleasure. When we swap we always do seperate rooms, that's our preference. I would be distracted watching him, but we do like to hear each other having fun & I always want to know everything after. I guess I get off on it.

For the record I was cheated on by my ex of 22yrs & his replacement wanted to fuck all my friends. Without trust we couldn't swing & the minute either of us says enough we will stop

Julie x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am truly sorry if I offended any couples

Honestly that was not my intention and if it came across wrong I apologise xx"

you haven't offended me at all...it may seem ironic but I don't disagree with your post or your opinion...it's yours and you're entitled to it...this lifestyle isn't for everyone at all times in their lives...you have to decide what is for you at different times in your life.,

Being in disagreement doesn't mean someone is offended...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

well toshn I understand what your getting at I would be the same!! but then if I had a partner I would hope id be enough for him and not need to share me around x

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

Being in disagreement doesn't mean someone is offended..."

This

Unless you are my ex mother in law who was mortally offended if anyone dared to disagree with her.

Or maybe I'm mixing up offended and offensive

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We met through swinging. When we moved in together we did stop for a while to establish our relationship. We have been together 6 years and get turned on watching each other. If there was no trust we couldnt swing.

Just because the OP and others, both male and female, have said they couldnt do it with somebody they love, it doesnt make them hypocrites. Everyone is different, swinging would be boring if we were all the same

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think that some people misinterpret the emotions of sex to having something to do with love,thats why it can be difficult for people who see sex that way to understand how anyone that loved someone would be happy for them to have sex with someone else,love comes in many forms its not purely about how many orgasms you can give your partner

Giving a partner to somebody else to give pleasure to is'nt for everyone,if it was then the whole country would be swingers

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By *ichaelangelaCouple over a year ago

notts

another aspect is to NOT swing to try to repair a relationship

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

....you've bastardized his post.

Where does he say he has self esteem issues?...he doesn't.

Indeed, OP doesn't.

If people can't even read one simple question, then a sensible discussion is impossible.

And your answer to his question is?"

I have not been in that situation, and therefore cannot answer it. I do find the various reactions and interpretations quite interesting, though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For me .... I love seeing my hubby fuck someone else!!! And that's all it is a fuck !!! I love my hubby to bits and him me !! And for us this is Sumthing to add a bit off spice into r lives cause no one apart from us and a few ppl on here know wat we r doing lol we've been together 18 years and have 3 kids so it's now r time to have a little fun !! And as long as everyone is happy with it then happy swinging I did have a lady say to me how can I watch him have sex with another woman ... But diff things turn diff ppl on on that turns me on !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"But its a question that I need to know .

Me personaly could never watch someone I loved having sex with someone else.

Could not cope with the jealousy I would feel

If she moaned louder .. Cum harder . Did things with him that she has never done with you . And just the fact she has chose him and fancies the pants off him.

So I suppose my question is " How do you cope with those emotions ?

I am not judging anyone because the 2 people I have ever loved in my life cheated on me

And from what I see and read on here the people who swing are very happy and in fantastic relationships xx"

OP this is a very honest, non-judgmental and inoffensive post in which you have highlighted your own potential feelings.

nothing more nothing less.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We met through swinging. When we moved in together we did stop for a while to establish our relationship. We have been together 6 years and get turned on watching each other. If there was no trust we couldnt swing.

this

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"I am truly sorry if I offended any couples

Honestly that was not my intention and if it came across wrong I apologise xx"

You saying you can't play at these games doesn't offend us. Some people can, some people can't.

I think if you had a attitude of " If I was in a relationship my woman wouldn't be allowed to suck another mans cock like these other women do as I think it is disgusting etc etc" then I think that would be different, but you don't seem to be saying that at all

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"well toshn I understand what your getting at I would be the same!! but then if I had a partner I would hope id be enough for him and not need to share me around x

This type of post just confirms some people don't understand swinging at all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"well toshn I understand what your getting at I would be the same!! but then if I had a partner I would hope id be enough for him and not need to share me around x

This type of post just confirms some people don't understand swinging at all."

I thought that too.

It's about adding to a relationship not making up for shortcomings.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple over a year ago

in Lancashire

OP this is a very honest, non-judgmental and inoffensive post in which you have highlighted your own potential feelings.

nothing more nothing less.

this

would also add OP you have said nothing that you need apologise for..

how other's have reached their perspective on what they think you may have inferred or meant is not down to you..

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple over a year ago

in Lancashire

"well toshn I understand what your getting at I would be the same!! but then if I had a partner I would hope id be enough for him and not need to share me around x

This type of post just confirms some people don't understand swinging at all."

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By *he_original_poloWoman over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Every time I log on here, I less and less expect to find....... swingers.

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By *padger1066Man over a year ago

Out and about

All people are different - I have met a few couples on here - and they absolutley love it - it's just about having a bit of naughty fun - you both have to agree on it - if you have any doubt then don't do it........ Being a single bloke it's quite difficult for a couple to trust me..... However once you gain that trust it can be lots of fun as you also share their freindship ....... I always make sure I keep my distance and let them choose when they need me.... I never meet them on thier own and we clear the ground rules from the off set

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is an excellent op and an emotive subject which often comes up , especially with vanilla friends .

Like the op I have had 2 relationships where I have been cheated on and never ' swung ' in either

Three and a half years ago I started a relationship with my now wife . A year into it we discussed fantasies and one of mine was to see her with someone else . Why would this be when two marriages had ended with me being the one who had been cheated on ?

I figured it was a combination of a natural voyeuristic nature which came from thirty five years of watching porn , and maybe wanting to face my demons and fight back ?

Anyway , we started swinging and I truly loved watching her enjoying herself with guys and girls , and not an ounce of jealousy .

A year later we got married after having a joint hen / stag night at our local club , and 15 months later I am so so happy , infact happier than I have ever been .

I feel I have exorcised any demons and love my wife more than I ever thought would be possible , despite my two previous marriages .

Hopefully this may offer some insight

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By *ENDAROOSCouple over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"well toshn I understand what your getting at I would be the same!! but then if I had a partner I would hope id be enough for him and not need to share me around x

This type of post just confirms some people don't understand swinging at all."

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By *uby0000Woman over a year ago

hertfordshire

when my hubby was married before they did wife swapping ... she swapped him for the other guy

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By *ENDAROOSCouple over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

The person loves YOU, not the cake or the present. It's you they come back to, you that makes their life complete. They are just enjoying the situation but it's different- not what you have together.

Fantastic way of explaining it....

Agrees

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i feel like my partner and i have evolved emotionally further because of love we can banish that nasty negative emotion of jealousy, it doesnt mean we love each other less, it means we love each other More! xxx

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By *arzan n JaneCouple over a year ago

North east Scotland

What works for Jane and myself is when we meet anyone, to us they are a toy to play with, nothing more. We don't look for friends, don't want to meet for drinks to get to know them, we study their profile, check the verifications, chat on here and if that goes well we will set up a meet. On the meet there's no drinks and get to know each other it's just straight into it because like I said, to us, they are just a toy, nothing more. We play then go our own ways. It has worked well with us.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What works for Jane and myself is when we meet anyone, to us they are a toy to play with, nothing more. We don't look for friends, don't want to meet for drinks to get to know them, we study their profile, check the verifications, chat on here and if that goes well we will set up a meet. On the meet there's no drinks and get to know each other it's just straight into it because like I said, to us, they are just a toy, nothing more. We play then go our own ways. It has worked well with us. "

Do you know what?..I wouldn't fucking meet you if that was the case.

I would not fuck anyone who I didn't at the LEAST click with.

I think drinks and chats is important.

I'm not looking for my soul mate on here, in fact I ain't the type of guy that dates at the moment, but fuck me, I absolute would want a drink/chat first.

As far as the reference to "toy" I totally get that and understand it from a couples _iewpoint, but bloody hell, don't you at least want to "click" on some level?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Every time I log on here, I less and less expect to find....... swingers."

This is why in the new year, i'll not be meeting on this profile.

I'm going to date in Vanilla and hopefully return as a couple.

I think a lot (not all) of single guys/women are on here cos they can't get fucked elsewhere.

The last couple of weeks I've been thinking about that, and actually I can get fucked elsewhere which is why I won't be meeting on this profile soon

,I'll be back as a couple...hopefully, though not guaranteed!

Most likely by the end of the month, this will be a non meet profile. I'll just be on here for the forums.

I want to get into the swinging game properly, definitely.

At the moment, I wouldn't class myself as a swinger.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wow

Your meets must feel so lucky to have met you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wow

Your meets must feel so lucky to have met you.

As heartless as it may sound, I understand what they are saying. And I think it's very brave to say it.

I bet lots of people meet in clubs that way but just don't admit that is what they are doing.

Also it's interesting to know why they do it that way... Only they know why...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ain't it amazing that people are critisizing the op for saying he wouldn't feel comfortable about a partner swinging! Yet, NOT ONE PERSON has picked on any of the single females who have agreed with him and said the same! Lol.

And for the record, i dn't see the op as hypocritical in any way whatsoever. He isn't forcing any couples to include him in their fun.

All he is saying, is, they must have a blissfully happy relationship to be able to watch a partner having sex with strangers without it affecting that relationship.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Wow

Your meets must feel so lucky to have met you.

They may think they are, as they could be getting the same thing out of it....ie looking for a toy to play with.

Not everyone meets the same as others think they should.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Every time I log on here, I less and less expect to find....... swingers.

This is why in the new year, i'll not be meeting on this profile.

I'm going to date in Vanilla and hopefully return as a couple.

I think a lot (not all) of single guys/women are on here cos they can't get fucked elsewhere.

The last couple of weeks I've been thinking about that, and actually I can get fucked elsewhere which is why I won't be meeting on this profile soon

,I'll be back as a couple...hopefully, though not guaranteed!

Most likely by the end of the month, this will be a non meet profile. I'll just be on here for the forums.

I want to get into the swinging game properly, definitely.

At the moment, I wouldn't class myself as a swinger.

this

I now am

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Do you know what?..I wouldn't fucking meet you if that was the case.

I would not fuck anyone who I didn't at the LEAST click with.

I think drinks and chats is important.

I'm not looking for my soul mate on here, in fact I ain't the type of guy that dates at the moment, but fuck me, I absolute would want a drink/chat first.

As far as the reference to "toy" I totally get that and understand it from a couples _iewpoint, but bloody hell, don't you at least want to "click" on some level?

They obviously wouldn't be looking for people like you who want something different to them.

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By *andWCouple over a year ago

Pontypridd

I don't see any reason people would be offended, I can see why the OP might feel he couldn't watch a partner with somebody else because he hasn't experienced a trusting relationship.

We 100% trust and respect each other, neither of us feels any jealousy, however should something happen to change the dynamics of the relationship, with trust gone we could feel the same way as the OP.

It's completely dependant on the people and how strong their relationship is.

Although I do tend to get offended at singles who say they wouldn't swing if they were in a relationship because;

They would have more respect for their partner.

I would satisfy her/him enough etc

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think from what i see is that the couples well most have built up a loving trusting relationship way before they decided to swing so they have the trust there and some find it a turn on seeing their partner with someone. I think as long as the foundation is there then jealously and or that will not raise its head or if it does they are able to talk through it. I've seen 20 odd year marriages break up as a result of swinging but i believe the marriage was damaged before they started to swing.. could i see my partner with someone else the answer is im not sure as I've yet to do this with someone i love. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ain't it amazing that people are critisizing the op for saying he wouldn't feel comfortable about a partner swinging! Yet, NOT ONE PERSON has picked on any of the single females who have agreed with him and said the same! Lol.

Are you sure about that?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Are you sure about that? "

Yep.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It takes a very special kind of couple to swing, many forget that it's a very small percentage of the population, that do so.

It doesn't mean they have a fantastic relationship though, that is a very outdated attitude.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Are you sure about that?

Yep."

Odd, I must have imagined the posts from me, Rugby and Surrey sensual all criticising the post from a woman implying that couples awing due to a lack of satisfaction in their relationships.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Are you sure about that?

Yep.

Odd, I must have imagined the posts from me, Rugby and Surrey sensual all criticising the post from a woman implying that couples awing due to a lack of satisfaction in their relationships. "

But, that woman wasn't agreeing with the op was she? She was saying something completely different from him!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

The OP isn't saying that he would r swing because he thinks anyone sharing their partner is a useless individual who has no self respect or anything. Be is saying that he knows that he would not be able to cope and that the relationship wouldn't be strong enough to cope with swinging.

All swinging couples say that the foundation of the relationship has to be strong for it to work right?

As long as he is respectful to the couples he meets where is the problem? O can understand couples throwing their follies out of the pram if he said mid fuck 'mate, you're a fool to ve sharing her you should have some self respect and some respect for your woman' where is the issue? Do you all pass Round lie detectors yo your meets and ask them their _iews on swinging with a partner go make sure that e wry meet has swinger through the core?

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"The OP isn't saying that he would r swing because he thinks anyone sharing their partner is a useless individual who has no self respect or anything. Be is saying that he knows that he would not be able to cope and that the relationship wouldn't be strong enough to cope with swinging.

Actually I don't believe he said anything of the kind, he made no comment on the strength of the relationship!!! I feel exactly the same, I would not want to swing if I was in love and I would not want my partner to swing.

No-one has ever cheated on me, I have had long and very strong relationships all my life, and I never miss the freedom of nsa I enjoy when not in a love relationships. It would simply my choice *from a position of stength* to have an exclusive relationship with a man I loved!!

I am intrigued by the attitude some people clearly display of _iewing a choice of monogamy as one made from a position of weakness,as though every couple would swing if only they were brave enough and their relationship strong enough.

It's just not like that for many, to me the intensity of exclusivity IS the bigger buzz than the prospect of sex with other people.

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By *aveandSue1Couple over a year ago

Doncaster

"I don't think swinging is for you."

I agree with this.

My wife and I are 100% solid, you need to be in a safe, stable, understanding relationship without any trace of jealousy.

Heard it from lots of other couples but swinging can actually strengthen an already strong marriage.

How does that work?

No idea but it does for us and we love each other without reservation.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"But its a question that I need to know .

Me personaly could never watch someone I loved having sex with someone else.

Could not cope with the jealousy I would feel

If she moaned louder .. Cum harder . Did things with him that she has never done with you . And just the fact she has chose him and fancies the pants off him.

So I suppose my question is " How do you cope with those emotions ?

I am not judging anyone because the 2 people I have ever loved in my life cheated on me

And from what I see and read on here the people who swing are very happy and in fantastic relationships xx"

We had no idea how we would feel after the first time we met another couple. How could we? We had been together for 9 years and been completely faithful to each other.

We had a great sex life and that was what led to taking the plunge and making the fantasy a reality. We started out on a solid base with a marriage with no issues beyond the normal "Pick your boxers up" kind of things!

We met up, had a great evening, lots of fun and both enjoyed it all even though we were both nervous wrecks! The effect it had on us amazed us both. It was completely not what we expected. For the next few days we could not keep our hands off each other. We were at it like rabbits. And it has gone on from there. We spent this weekend with a couple we are great friends with, had a fantastic weekend some amazing playtime and then came home and climbed all over each other for two hours as soon as we got in the door!

Neither of us have ever felt any jealousy at all, and if L really fancies him or I really fancy her then it is a good thing as we know the other it having a great time. If she moans louder or cums harder then great! And the same the other way around. The times I have been having sex with another woman and L is watching she is there telling me to "Go on - don't tease her - fuck her properly" Or kissing me or kissing her.

The only emotion that comes into it for us is Love. For each other. That's my (probably crap!) way of explaining it.

But the best of it is that we have made some amazing friends doing this. The friendship seems to move to another level and be a lot more open when you have all played together AND you have really clicked as a foursome.

So in our book its all good and a very positive thing in our marriage. But then neither of us have a jealous bone in our bodies and we 100% absolutely trust each other. We say now we wish we had taken the plunge years ago.

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