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Question for the guys...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sometimes I meet a lovely man, pleasant,respectful, nice. I'm just not into him, (perhaps because of a lack of physical attraction)/sexual compatibility, whatever. He hasn't done anything wrong. And I appreciate he's taken a risk..making a move, and I appreciate the compliment, and the courage.
I just have enough male friends, and I don't want any more. Besides, I think most guys hate being put in the friend zone. What would be the better thing to do? Be honest and say something like 'you're lovely, think you're a great guy...I'm just not feeling it?!' or ignore all communication..he'll eventually get the message? Genuinely want to do the kindest thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely tell him, truth is the best policy
I prefer to know out right if I'm not someone's cup of tea...I prefer to give my attention somewhere it is mutual wanted  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely tell him, you can both then move on to better things, without the possibility of upsetting him by ignoring him.....! Best to be honest and upfront to start with so he can start his search again |
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Be strate with him if not you could end up with him trying harder and pissing you off then getting the truth in a much less sympathetic way. If hes a man he'll take it on the chin an if not you tride his prob not yours |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tell him the truth about how you feel, it might hurt initially but its the best thing you can do, unfortunately these things happen to everyone, just a matter of dusting yourself down and getting on with life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I meet a lovely man, pleasant,respectful, nice. I'm just not into him, (perhaps because of a lack of physical attraction)/sexual compatibility, whatever. He hasn't done anything wrong. And I appreciate he's taken a risk..making a move, and I appreciate the compliment, and the courage.
I just have enough male friends, and I don't want any more. Besides, I think most guys hate being put in the friend zone. What would be the better thing to do? Be honest and say something like 'you're lovely, think you're a great guy...I'm just not feeling it?!' or ignore all communication..he'll eventually get the message? Genuinely want to do the kindest thing. "
Genuinely? Honestly, give him a good blowjob, he'll understand perfectly well!   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Definitely tell him. I can't speak for all men but I need telling straight on everything. I'm useless at reading between the lines.
Tell me about it Ryan...if a women came up to me stamped on my toes and slapped me around the face with a wet salmon to get my attention and told me she liked me....I still wouldn't notice the oh so subtle woman signals  "
Please definitely keep trying. I am the most subtle girl I know! I'm attractive and in social situations I'm good. Got lots of friends, male ones too!
But I absolutely cannot flirt with a guy I actually like. And on the first few dates I'm really reserved. Painfully shy about it on the inside. Nearly every boyfriend I've had thought I wasn't even into them in the beginning! (and later on actually admitted to finding me intimidating?!) |
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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
"Sometimes I meet a lovely man, pleasant,respectful, nice. I'm just not into him, (perhaps because of a lack of physical attraction)/sexual compatibility, whatever. He hasn't done anything wrong. And I appreciate he's taken a risk..making a move, and I appreciate the compliment, and the courage.
I just have enough male friends, and I don't want any more. Besides, I think most guys hate being put in the friend zone. What would be the better thing to do? Be honest and say something like 'you're lovely, think you're a great guy...I'm just not feeling it?!' or ignore all communication..he'll eventually get the message? Genuinely want to do the kindest thing. "
For me the kindest thing is honesty. I would a thousand times rather have "you're a nice bloke but there's no sexual spark" than just being ignored or lied to xx |
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"Definitely tell him. I can't speak for all men but I need telling straight on everything. I'm useless at reading between the lines.
Tell me about it Ryan...if a women came up to me stamped on my toes and slapped me around the face with a wet salmon to get my attention and told me she liked me....I still wouldn't notice the oh so subtle woman signals
Please definitely keep trying. I am the most subtle girl I know! I'm attractive and in social situations I'm good. Got lots of friends, male ones too!
But I absolutely cannot flirt with a guy I actually like. And on the first few dates I'm really reserved. Painfully shy about it on the inside. Nearly every boyfriend I've had thought I wasn't even into them in the beginning! (and later on actually admitted to finding me intimidating?!)"
I can understand that as every gf iv had have said they had pretty much given up dropping hints an thought I wasn't interested in them. Truth is im far from up my own arse an other than my self confidance in my own abilities really don't belive im all that so if someone is flerting with me I ever don't notice or think its just in fun  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He'll appreciate your honesty. Go easy on him.
Ok then...any suggestions on the right words to say...?"
Well don't say i like you only as a friend as it shows no imagination.
I guess there is nothing wrong with saying that the chemistry is just not right between the two of you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The kindest thing would be to have sex at least 5 times, then tell him you love him, but not in that way, and wish him well, keep his number and use him for the odd shag, but always remind him you don't see him as a boyfriend, |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Definitely tell him. I can't speak for all men but I need telling straight on everything. I'm useless at reading between the lines.
Tell me about it Ryan...if a women came up to me stamped on my toes and slapped me around the face with a wet salmon to get my attention and told me she liked me....I still wouldn't notice the oh so subtle woman signals
Please definitely keep trying. I am the most subtle girl I know! I'm attractive and in social situations I'm good. Got lots of friends, male ones too!
But I absolutely cannot flirt with a guy I actually like. And on the first few dates I'm really reserved. Painfully shy about it on the inside. Nearly every boyfriend I've had thought I wasn't even into them in the beginning! (and later on actually admitted to finding me intimidating?!)
I can understand that as every gf iv had have said they had pretty much given up dropping hints an thought I wasn't interested in them. Truth is im far from up my own arse an other than my self confidance in my own abilities really don't belive im all that so if someone is flerting with me I ever don't notice or think its just in fun "
Lol! Think I've been this girl! Sometimes, I've been thinking...damn it! Why won't he ask me out?!!! Only to find out months later, sometimes though a friend, that he wanted to all along! Arrgh..And I just can't make the first move |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why not just give him a chance to see if you could fancy him better?
I'm not much of a fan of vanilla ice cream, but add a few cookies and sauce and it tastes amazing...not that I'm saying male swingers should cover themselves in sauce and crushed cookies but its the best analogy I could think of. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just have a heart
.......& tell him you have an STD; he won't feel jilted, he'll feel lucky!!!
errr...nope, not going with that one.  "
#reverse psychology |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lie to him! 
It's easy dude!
I hate lying. "
Yeah but its basically back up..you know in case he cries.
If he does that you gotta say tell him its you and that now your a lesbian.
...but that might make it worse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do an interpretive dance using objects at hand as improvised props and close by defecating on his his shoes. He wont bother you again. "
And the look on his face will be priceless |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Definitely tell him. I can't speak for all men but I need telling straight on everything. I'm useless at reading between the lines.
Tell me about it Ryan...if a women came up to me stamped on my toes and slapped me around the face with a wet salmon to get my attention and told me she liked me....I still wouldn't notice the oh so subtle woman signals
Please definitely keep trying. I am the most subtle girl I know! I'm attractive and in social situations I'm good. Got lots of friends, male ones too!
But I absolutely cannot flirt with a guy I actually like. And on the first few dates I'm really reserved. Painfully shy about it on the inside. Nearly every boyfriend I've had thought I wasn't even into them in the beginning! (and later on actually admitted to finding me intimidating?!)"
Being shy and reserved do you find that on this site too? It is basically a sex site so 90% people are straight to the point?
Honesty would be good as he may get the hint but after 40 messages each getting more angry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do an interpretive dance using objects at hand as improvised props and close by defecating on his his shoes. He wont bother you again. "
But I, erhem', he might be in to that sort of thing! - don't knock it till you've tried it! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do an interpretive dance using objects at hand as improvised props and close by defecating on his his shoes. He wont bother you again.
And the look on his face will be priceless "
yeah....that's really far!
though with some guys they do push the limits of my kindness. They insist...'if you get to know me you'll like me'...and I never know how to wriggle my way out of that one! Or when they ask to be friends... ( which experience has taught me is only a ruse to try again later on!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do an interpretive dance using objects at hand as improvised props and close by defecating on his his shoes. He wont bother you again.
And the look on his face will be priceless
yeah....that's really far!
though with some guys they do push the limits of my kindness. They insist...'if you get to know me you'll like me'...and I never know how to wriggle my way out of that one! Or when they ask to be friends... ( which experience has taught me is only a ruse to try again later on!)"
Men are very cunning - so I've been told |
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" zone. What would be the better thing to do? Be honest and say something like 'you're lovely, think you're a great guy...I'm just not feeling it?!' or ignore all communication..he'll eventually get the message? Genuinely want to do the kindest thing. "
Oh never ever do the ignoring thing, I think that is so cruel, it leaves people wondering what happened!! I think it is always best just to kindly say you are sorry, he's not the one for you, and if you are too shy at the time just kiss him on the cheek and say thank you and goodnight and write a nice email next day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do not ignore a guy's communication. That's some sad shit. Tell the dude you've met someone new or something. At least then he'll feel he had a chance.
Or... be honest and break the poor guy's heart. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do not ignore a guy's communication. That's some sad shit. Tell the dude you've met someone new or something. At least then he'll feel he had a chance.
Or... be honest and break the poor guy's heart."
Yeah that^^^
That's what I'm saying.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Definitely tell him. I can't speak for all men but I need telling straight on everything. I'm useless at reading between the lines.
Tell me about it Ryan...if a women came up to me stamped on my toes and slapped me around the face with a wet salmon to get my attention and told me she liked me....I still wouldn't notice the oh so subtle woman signals
Please definitely keep trying. I am the most subtle girl I know! I'm attractive and in social situations I'm good. Got lots of friends, male ones too!
But I absolutely cannot flirt with a guy I actually like. And on the first few dates I'm really reserved. Painfully shy about it on the inside. Nearly every boyfriend I've had thought I wasn't even into them in the beginning! (and later on actually admitted to finding me intimidating?!)
Being shy and reserved do you find that on this site too? It is basically a sex site so 90% people are straight to the point?
Honesty would be good as he may get the hint but after 40 messages each getting more angry."
much easier on here than in real life. Partly because it's a sex site, my identity is hidden, initial interaction is non-verbal and not face to face. Makes me a lot more brazen. But often, I do get nerves the first meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me the kindest thing is honesty. I would a thousand times rather have "you're a nice bloke but there's no sexual spark" than just being ignored or lied to xx"
Which is exactly what I have told when it was called for. They were disappointed, but glad I was upfront about it. |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"Do an interpretive dance using objects at hand as improvised props and close by defecating on his his shoes. He wont bother you again. "
You promised you wouldn't mention that
Mind you, it does the trick |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Definitely tell him. I can't speak for all men but I need telling straight on everything. I'm useless at reading between the lines. "
I wish this were just a man thing but I'm the same.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do an interpretive dance using objects at hand as improvised props and close by defecating on his his shoes. He wont bother you again.
And the look on his face will be priceless
yeah....that's really far!
though with some guys they do push the limits of my kindness. They insist...'if you get to know me you'll like me'...and I never know how to wriggle my way out of that one! Or when they ask to be friends... ( which experience has taught me is only a ruse to try again later on!)"
'Your kindness'???? - do you send/give them presents,then? ...........'hmenvisages
*envisages future riches.......  |
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"Definitely tell him. I can't speak for all men but I need telling straight on everything. I'm useless at reading between the lines.
Tell me about it Ryan...if a women came up to me stamped on my toes and slapped me around the face with a wet salmon to get my attention and told me she liked me....I still wouldn't notice the oh so subtle woman signals
Please definitely keep trying. I am the most subtle girl I know! I'm attractive and in social situations I'm good. Got lots of friends, male ones too!
But I absolutely cannot flirt with a guy I actually like. And on the first few dates I'm really reserved. Painfully shy about it on the inside. Nearly every boyfriend I've had thought I wasn't even into them in the beginning! (and later on actually admitted to finding me intimidating?!)
I can understand that as every gf iv had have said they had pretty much given up dropping hints an thought I wasn't interested in them. Truth is im far from up my own arse an other than my self confidance in my own abilities really don't belive im all that so if someone is flerting with me I ever don't notice or think its just in fun
Lol! Think I've been this girl! Sometimes, I've been thinking...damn it! Why won't he ask me out?!!! Only to find out months later, sometimes though a friend, that he wanted to all along! Arrgh..And I just can't make the first move "
gowd for 1 horrible moment thought you was 1 of my many exs but then read you hate lying so knew you couldn't be but just to be sure i had to have a little perv an now by fooook I wish you where you look.....hmmmmmm nearly forgot im shy so I'll shut the feck up |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"Sometimes I meet a lovely man, pleasant,respectful, nice. I'm just not into him, (perhaps because of a lack of physical attraction)/sexual compatibility, whatever. He hasn't done anything wrong. And I appreciate he's taken a risk..making a move, and I appreciate the compliment, and the courage.
I just have enough male friends, and I don't want any more. Besides, I think most guys hate being put in the friend zone. What would be the better thing to do? Be honest and say something like 'you're lovely, think you're a great guy...I'm just not feeling it?!' or ignore all communication..he'll eventually get the message? Genuinely want to do the kindest thing. "
your not dating them - just tell them it was a nice one off and leave it as |
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