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Why does love hurt so bad
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love doesn't hurt, it heals.
If someone enriches your life, you have the right person, and love grows.
If someone causes you pain and hurt and worry, you have the wrong person, that is not love it is need.
What hurts, is we have got it wrong, and we don't like admitting that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love doesn't hurt, it heals.
If someone enriches your life, you have the right person, and love grows.
If someone causes you pain and hurt and worry, you have the wrong person, that is not love it is need.
"
Far too many men have claimed to have feelings for me but just piss me about, I think if you have genuine feelings you do anything to stop the other person getting hurt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love doesn't hurt, it heals.
If someone enriches your life, you have the right person, and love grows.
If someone causes you pain and hurt and worry, you have the wrong person, that is not love it is need.
What hurts, is we have got it wrong, and we don't like admitting that."
So true... Penny has dropped after a crap week... |
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"Love doesn't hurt, it heals.
If someone enriches your life, you have the right person, and love grows.
If someone causes you pain and hurt and worry, you have the wrong person, that is not love it is need.
What hurts, is we have got it wrong, and we don't like admitting that."
Eh? So if you fall in love you stay in love forever and can never fall out of love because if you do you were never in love in the first place? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because when you're on a high for so long and then you plummet suddenly to such a low, it's actually traumatic. And it's become such a dominant factor in your life that when you dont know what else you'll do, you find yourself unable to stop wondering what went wrong and waiting for it all to either come back suddenly or completely disappear. But it doesn't and you just keep hanging there having forgot that you were alone before that person came into your life...
...vaguely! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People say what you want to hear, to get what they want.
from puberty we are expected to find a mate, have children, get a mortgage and be happy. Most people do that, then discover they are trapped. If you get past 2 years, and 7 years, you have done really well, usually by compromising.
it is very unusual to find our soulmate first time round.
Luckily a swinging site helps keep a dead marriage going a bit longer, but you cant fix a broken cup. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Love doesn't hurt, it heals.
If someone enriches your life, you have the right person, and love grows.
If someone causes you pain and hurt and worry, you have the wrong person, that is not love it is need.
What hurts, is we have got it wrong, and we don't like admitting that.
Eh? So if you fall in love you stay in love forever and can never fall out of love because if you do you were never in love in the first place? "
Not at all, everything changes and grows or it dies. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's times like these that I like to break this tune out...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnrll-BGyVA&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Enjoy and chin up... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People say what you want to hear, to get what they want.
from puberty we are expected to find a mate, have children, get a mortgage and be happy. Most people do that, then discover they are trapped. If you get past 2 years, and 7 years, you have done really well, usually by compromising.
it is very unusual to find our soulmate first time round.
Luckily a swinging site helps keep a dead marriage going a bit longer, but you cant fix a broken cup."
Such a wise man.  |
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"Love doesn't hurt, it heals.
If someone enriches your life, you have the right person, and love grows.
If someone causes you pain and hurt and worry, you have the wrong person, that is not love it is need.
What hurts, is we have got it wrong, and we don't like admitting that.
Eh? So if you fall in love you stay in love forever and can never fall out of love because if you do you were never in love in the first place?
Not at all, everything changes and grows or it dies."
So it is possible to have been in love and that love to have simply died? Without that love having been a need, just something that didn't last?
It's just that your comments seem so cynical and appear to come from a place of great hurt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love is not just about partner sexual relationships but is also deeper and not conditional. It hurts when someone you love does something that changes you in some way too. Your children can cause you pain but you still love them. Friends too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I actually love being in love, but totally agree with regards to when it goes wrong it can feel like it ripped you in two, one of the reasons that I joined fab as no one wants complications or anything to do with love...allegedly? |
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From my point of view, love is not worth it.
I have ample love in my life, friends and family and I dont need (nor want) it as a complication any more.
I'll take, respect, honesty, security, a shoulder, companionship and commitment instead thanks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am in complete and utter love right now
I couldn't be happier
My life has been changed for the better since we met, our frst touch - first taste
I can't even remember how I lived each day before all this
My heart will break if this ends
And it will - in about 5 minutes time 
Until I get the next white chocolate apple out the fridge |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am in complete and utter love right now
I couldn't be happier
My life has been changed for the better since we met, our frst touch - first taste
I can't even remember how I lived each day before all this
My heart will break if this ends
And it will - in about 5 minutes time
Until I get the next white chocolate apple out the fridge "
oooo that reminds me, Toblerone in the fridge...good call!! Time for some sweet love brb |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You don't always get over it! Lost faith in it I'm afraid.
Loved two people in my life one didn't want me the other did but I couldn't be with her!
Done with it! |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
Breaking up with somebody is inevitably a loss and we all go through similar emotions associated with the cycle of loss, from sadness to anger, guilt, denial, soul searching etc just to name a few. The really horrible one is the valley of sadness, where you feel the hurt of the loss the most and it can seem unbearable.
Time is a great healer and you will get through this in time. And once you have healed you will readjust and be ready for new things to be discovered. It will happen - believe me!
In the meantime I hope you have really good friends around you, who are happy to listen to you, support you at every level until you are on the road to recovery.
I honestly believe that without some sadness we would not "know" and appreciate happiness in life. All the best xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As with most things in life there is the biological aspect and the psychological aspect. Biology: love produces x, y, z chemicals/hormones or x, y, z, chemicals/hormones produce what we call love. There are schools of thought the same chemicals are produced when one becomes addicted. When the source of addiction stops then the chemicals drop drastically. This may or may not lead to varying levels of depression. If the source continues then the chemicals change (this is connected with survival of the race and where procreation would come in if we didn't have contraception). In other words the love changes (becomes longer lasting and deeper but less exciting).
Now biology and psychology are inextricably entwined so your mindset affects these chemicals (both the good and the bad so to speak). So over time your memories and mindset will raise/lower these chemicals and may experience the highs and lows of the initial love and the initial loss.
Time only heals when your brain stops delivering you these chemical changes associated with your love.
It's all part of the mourning process. Do allow yourself to grieve xoxoxoxoxox |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As with most things in life there is the biological aspect and the psychological aspect. Biology: love produces x, y, z chemicals/hormones or x, y, z, chemicals/hormones produce what we call love. There are schools of thought the same chemicals are produced when one becomes addicted. When the source of addiction stops then the chemicals drop drastically. This may or may not lead to varying levels of depression. If the source continues then the chemicals change (this is connected with survival of the race and where procreation would come in if we didn't have contraception). In other words the love changes (becomes longer lasting and deeper but less exciting).
Now biology and psychology are inextricably entwined so your mindset affects these chemicals (both the good and the bad so to speak). So over time your memories and mindset will raise/lower these chemicals and may experience the highs and lows of the initial love and the initial loss.
Time only heals when your brain stops delivering you these chemical changes associated with your love.
It's all part of the mourning process. Do allow yourself to grieve xoxoxoxoxox"
So what you are saying Cupcake is love definitely hurts ;p x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As with most things in life there is the biological aspect and the psychological aspect. Biology: love produces x, y, z chemicals/hormones or x, y, z, chemicals/hormones produce what we call love. There are schools of thought the same chemicals are produced when one becomes addicted. When the source of addiction stops then the chemicals drop drastically. This may or may not lead to varying levels of depression. If the source continues then the chemicals change (this is connected with survival of the race and where procreation would come in if we didn't have contraception). In other words the love changes (becomes longer lasting and deeper but less exciting).
Now biology and psychology are inextricably entwined so your mindset affects these chemicals (both the good and the bad so to speak). So over time your memories and mindset will raise/lower these chemicals and may experience the highs and lows of the initial love and the initial loss.
Time only heals when your brain stops delivering you these chemical changes associated with your love.
It's all part of the mourning process. Do allow yourself to grieve xoxoxoxoxox
So what you are saying Cupcake is love definitely hurts ;p x"
Love doesn't but losing it is hell. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank u all for the thoughts and words and messages, we met here, wrong time wrong place, head over heels heart stopping love, but I was married, he had a partner, I'm now almost divorced, she found out at the wrong time and it's all gone Pete tong! We love each other but the hurdles just got too big so I took the horrible step of walking away today, if it's meant to be it will be but he needs to make the choice to be with me. Whilst my security blanket of unconditional love is under him each time she hurts him I sooth and he stays, maybe he will realise maybe he won't only time will tell but atm it sure hurts like hell, I think I've run out of tears now though at least I hope I have |
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