FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How to spot a time waster
How to spot a time waster
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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After our second no show in a week I got to wondering how do you spot a time waster? The guy last night had a few verifications (women only) so seemed really genuine. All I asked from the start was "if you can't make it let us know" but he didn't. Should these people be given the benefit of the doubt of publicly flogged? Genuine people it's over to you...  |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"After our second no show in a week I got to wondering how do you spot a time waster? The guy last night had a few verifications (women only) so seemed really genuine. All I asked from the start was "if you can't make it let us know" but he didn't. Should these people be given the benefit of the doubt of publicly flogged? Genuine people it's over to you... "
Real life situations happen, I can give the benefit of the doubt in these circumstances, to not let you know in some way is ' you ve no f,,ing chance again,," 
I ve either been very lucky or my ways of selecting people is very good, not had a no show yet, meets have been cancelled always been informed asap and we ve rearranged,
Better luck next time, have fun  |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
It comes with experience. It could be that they seem to be getting off on organising the meet, wanting really detailed messages about what you will do to them and so on. They could be very lethargic about giving you their address or phone number.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After our second no show in a week I got to wondering how do you spot a time waster? The guy last night had a few verifications (women only) so seemed really genuine. All I asked from the start was "if you can't make it let us know" but he didn't. Should these people be given the benefit of the doubt of publicly flogged? Genuine people it's over to you... "
Maybe that bottle photo was bit too much for him to handle ....taking recycling a bit too far ....  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I give people the benefit of the doubt and I get stood up a fair amount. Some people like the chase and that is all. I don't leave home until I get a response to my final confirmation text. When there is no response I know to write them off.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No disrespect intended but two no shows in a week says you need to look at your selection process.
I've been on the site 4 years and in that time I've only had 3 no shows (with no contact) so two in a week seems a little excessive.
How long do you chat to them for?
Do you speak to them on the phone?
Do they seem too good to be true?
Did they exchange face pics & were they genuine?
Were the verifications from the same person?
Did the verifications match up?
It's not hard to spot the non-genuine people, it's mainly common sense.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"one also has to factor in the element that the person might have just forgot !!!!! it does happen 
Have you forgotten before Minxie "
errrrrrrrrrrr almost !!!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is why "clicking" with someone is so important.
If it's not there in the convo, chances are they won't turn up.
I've never stood anybody up, as in, not said a word on the day of the meet and I've also never been stood up.
Early convo, establish common interests and planning!
That being said, as someone else has already mentioned in the "life happens"..but it doesn't take much to just say "sorry i won't be able to make it today".
For me, it's all in the convo and communication coupled with selections!
I use the word "selections" loosely as I don't really like the word to be honest.
Just apply common sense, and choose based on that common sense! Works for me!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had this problem. Seemed very genuine. Had verifications and was in contact right up to half an hour before the meet. Just reported, blocked and moved on. "
What an idiot to let you down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After our second no show in a week I got to wondering how do you spot a time waster? The guy last night had a few verifications (women only) so seemed really genuine. All I asked from the start was "if you can't make it let us know" but he didn't. Should these people be given the benefit of the doubt of publicly flogged? Genuine people it's over to you... "
Maybe he's still waiting on the off licence opening? |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"I've had this problem. Seemed very genuine. Had verifications and was in contact right up to half an hour before the meet. Just reported, blocked and moved on.
What an idiot to let you down "
Maybe he got a better offer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had this problem. Seemed very genuine. Had verifications and was in contact right up to half an hour before the meet. Just reported, blocked and moved on.
What an idiot to let you down
Maybe he got a better offer. "
Well less for him I would meet you as you are sexy lady you look mid 20s x |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"I've had this problem. Seemed very genuine. Had verifications and was in contact right up to half an hour before the meet. Just reported, blocked and moved on.
What an idiot to let you down
Maybe he got a better offer.
Well less for him I would meet you as you are sexy lady you look mid 20s x "
No I don't. Not sure how you can say that since you can't see my face. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had this problem. Seemed very genuine. Had verifications and was in contact right up to half an hour before the meet. Just reported, blocked and moved on.
What an idiot to let you down
Maybe he got a better offer.
Well less for him I would meet you as you are sexy
lady you look mid 20s x
No I don't. Not sure how you can say that since you can't see my face. "
Your body is stuning in pics and can see you face in one of them abit far but would meet up with you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never meet without talking on a phone.
Never meet until confirmation is received on the morning of the meet (I always give a get out clause. Like Lickety, no text confirmation = I stay at home) |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"I've had this problem. Seemed very genuine. Had verifications and was in contact right up to half an hour before the meet. Just reported, blocked and moved on.
What an idiot to let you down
Maybe he got a better offer.
Well less for him I would meet you as you are sexy
lady you look mid 20s x
No I don't. Not sure how you can say that since you can't see my face.
Your body is stuning in pics and can see you face in one of them abit far but would meet up with you x "
Nice offer but too far. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*also to add, people put waaaay to much weight on verifications alone. Apply logic!
Totally agree, hence the reason I don't show mine. "
Thats a double edged sword as some people wont meet with verifications either |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"*also to add, people put waaaay to much weight on verifications alone. Apply logic!
Totally agree, hence the reason I don't show mine.
Thats a double edged sword as some people wont meet with verifications either "
I emailed admin this morning about the verifications. asking if it could be done like on ebay. Sort of a sliding scale
1 turned up on time max 5 stars
2 well groomed max 5 stars
3 chatty and engaging max 5 stars
4 good stamina max 5 stars
5 made a brew afterwards max 5 stars
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*also to add, people put waaaay to much weight on verifications alone. Apply logic!
Totally agree, hence the reason I don't show mine. "
Moody your a fake anyway! ...apparently!
/joke moody defo isn't fake. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*also to add, people put waaaay to much weight on verifications alone. Apply logic!
Totally agree, hence the reason I don't show mine.
Thats a double edged sword as some people wont meet with verifications either
I emailed admin this morning about the verifications. asking if it could be done like on ebay. Sort of a sliding scale
1 turned up on time max 5 stars
2 well groomed max 5 stars
3 chatty and engaging max 5 stars
4 good stamina max 5 stars
5 made a brew afterwards max 5 stars
"
think u might have missed one that might be special for me .... 6 survived Minxie !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How to spot a time waster?
They post a forum reply that has no constructive value to the post subject....erm "
do all postings have to be constructive then? - how boring!!! |
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By *Kgirl80Woman
over a year ago
South Coast |
"*also to add, people put waaaay to much weight on verifications alone. Apply logic!
Totally agree, hence the reason I don't show mine.
Moody your a fake anyway! ...apparently!
/joke moody defo isn't fake. "
Was she just a figment of my imagination at the weekend? A vision of loveliness induced by the consumption of vodka jelly? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Avoid lots of messaging, get to to the meet for a drink asap, the genuine Will show, if not you enjoyed going out for a drink
Do you give no shows a second chance?
Never!!! Block them and move on, sadly fab and other sites are full of time wasters, but as time goes by you definitely get better but you never get 100% successful at avoiding no shows.
Old profiles with no verifications (just ignore them)
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*also to add, people put waaaay to much weight on verifications alone. Apply logic!
Totally agree, hence the reason I don't show mine.
Moody your a fake anyway! ...apparently!
/joke moody defo isn't fake.
Was she just a figment of my imagination at the weekend? A vision of loveliness induced by the consumption of vodka jelly? "
Those fucking vodka Jellys! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How to spot a time waster?
They post a forum reply that has no constructive value to the post subject....erm "
haha that would never work as the real fun on here is the banter between people having a laugh with each other about almost anything and everything (just like this post ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*also to add, people put waaaay to much weight on verifications alone. Apply logic!
Totally agree, hence the reason I don't show mine.
Moody your a fake anyway! ...apparently!
/joke moody defo isn't fake.
Was she just a figment of my imagination at the weekend? A vision of loveliness induced by the consumption of vodka jelly?
Those fucking vodka Jellys! "
They sound nice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*also to add, people put waaaay to much weight on verifications alone. Apply logic!
Totally agree, hence the reason I don't show mine.
Thats a double edged sword as some people wont meet with verifications either "
Then they arnt the people I would want to meet anyway. Why on earth do some people need to rely on what someone else says about someone is beyond me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*also to add, people put waaaay to much weight on verifications alone. Apply logic!
Totally agree, hence the reason I don't show mine.
Moody your a fake anyway! ...apparently!
/joke moody defo isn't fake.
Was she just a figment of my imagination at the weekend? A vision of loveliness induced by the consumption of vodka jelly?
Those fucking vodka Jellys! "
They were very nice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How to spot a time waster?
They post a forum reply that has no constructive value to the post subject....erm "
Blooming heck it's all true I'm a fake and a timewaster |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*also to add, people put waaaay to much weight on verifications alone. Apply logic!
Totally agree, hence the reason I don't show mine.
Thats a double edged sword as some people wont meet with verifications either
Then they arnt the people I would want to meet anyway. Why on earth do some people need to rely on what someone else says about someone is beyond me. "
Exactly, the only thing that interests me in a verification is did the person turn up and dud they match the face pic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*also to add, people put waaaay to much weight on verifications alone. Apply logic!
Totally agree, hence the reason I don't show mine.
Thats a double edged sword as some people wont meet with verifications either
Then they arnt the people I would want to meet anyway. Why on earth do some people need to rely on what someone else says about someone is beyond me. "
I know ...from reading posts etc is a balance between being genuine/time waster ...but Im with you on this one |
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"*also to add, people put waaaay to much weight on verifications alone. Apply logic!
Totally agree, hence the reason I don't show mine.
Thats a double edged sword as some people wont meet with verifications either
Then they arnt the people I would want to meet anyway. Why on earth do some people need to rely on what someone else says about someone is beyond me. "
That's 'Which' magazine sorted then..lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*also to add, people put waaaay to much weight on verifications alone. Apply logic!
Totally agree, hence the reason I don't show mine.
Thats a double edged sword as some people wont meet with verifications either
Then they arnt the people I would want to meet anyway. Why on earth do some people need to rely on what someone else says about someone is beyond me.
That's 'Which' magazine sorted then..lol"
Last time I looked I wasn't a washing machine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It comes with experience. It could be that they seem to be getting off on organising the meet, wanting really detailed messages about what you will do to them and so on. They could be very lethargic about giving you their address or phone number. "
Had that so many time... pic collecting sexting timewasters pathetic  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How to spot a time waster?
They post a forum reply that has no constructive value to the post subject....erm
do all postings have to be constructive then? - how boring!!! "
If we were on a builders forum then yes they should all be about construction.
But luckily we are on a forum for piss takers ;p well at least I hope we are...else alas thuy is in the wrongeth place ;p |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*also to add, people put waaaay to much weight on verifications alone. Apply logic!
Totally agree, hence the reason I don't show mine.
Moody your a fake anyway! ...apparently!
/joke moody defo isn't fake.
Was she just a figment of my imagination at the weekend? A vision of loveliness induced by the consumption of vodka jelly?
Those fucking vodka Jellys!
They sound nice "
Yeah...8:parts vodka and 2 parts jelly! they were ermmmm ...strong. |
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"*also to add, people put waaaay to much weight on verifications alone. Apply logic!
Totally agree, hence the reason I don't show mine.
Thats a double edged sword as some people wont meet with verifications either
Then they arnt the people I would want to meet anyway. Why on earth do some people need to rely on what someone else says about someone is beyond me.
That's 'Which' magazine sorted then..lol
Last time I looked I wasn't a washing machine "
Lol..you say that, but your profile is hidden, some washing machines are cyber savvy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had this problem. Seemed very genuine. Had verifications and was in contact right up to half an hour before the meet. Just reported, blocked and moved on.
What an idiot to let you down
Maybe he got a better offer.
Well less for him I would meet you as you are sexy
lady you look mid 20s x
No I don't. Not sure how you can say that since you can't see my face.
Your body is stuning in pics and can see you face in one of them abit far but would meet up with you x
Nice offer but too far."
I know would be better if closer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*also to add, people put waaaay to much weight on verifications alone. Apply logic!
Totally agree, hence the reason I don't show mine.
Thats a double edged sword as some people wont meet with verifications either
Then they arnt the people I would want to meet anyway. Why on earth do some people need to rely on what someone else says about someone is beyond me.
That's 'Which' magazine sorted then..lol
Last time I looked I wasn't a washing machine "
Take another look just incase |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*also to add, people put waaaay to much weight on verifications alone. Apply logic!
Totally agree, hence the reason I don't show mine.
Thats a double edged sword as some people wont meet with verifications either
Then they arnt the people I would want to meet anyway. Why on earth do some people need to rely on what someone else says about someone is beyond me.
That's 'Which' magazine sorted then..lol
Last time I looked I wasn't a washing machine
Take another look just incase "
Off for a wee just to check again |
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"It comes with experience. It could be that they seem to be getting off on organising the meet, wanting really detailed messages about what you will do to them and so on. They could be very lethargic about giving you their address or phone number.
Had that so many time... pic collecting sexting timewasters pathetic "
You mean Filippo the stripper who's just asked me for my private pics on another site is toying with me?? |
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"It comes with experience. It could be that they seem to be getting off on organising the meet, wanting really detailed messages about what you will do to them and so on. They could be very lethargic about giving you their address or phone number.
Had that so many time... pic collecting sexting timewasters pathetic
You mean Filippo the stripper who's just asked me for my private pics on another site is toying with me??"
It's so funny actually, if you just say - 'Ok sexy, I'm up for it, when shall we meet?' it tends to cut the conversation short.
If it doesn't, well hey ho!!
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You can only aim to work out just what it was about them that gave you anything in advance as some inkling that they weren't going to follow through. That eventually accrues into your wastedar, that inner strength that gets to sense and know that they're wasting your time.
As others say, always speak - often is better then less, even if it's just a quick confirmation that all is still on. Have an agreed agenda about how you will keep in touch leading up to the meet, and get them to confirm that they're going to do this. Any flakiness on their part and it's a giveaway that all's not right.
If I was dashing to hospital for an emergency, mine or someone else's, then it may be the time that a message won't be sent - but this happens rarely.
If any agreed schedule is not followed through, check the reasons. Forgetting is a poor almost invalid reason: they are likely to do the same or worse for a real meet appointment, so can be time to call it quits.
Also, the social meet first helps qualify people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had one where she just sent me a message at the time if the meet and then blocked me, but inhind sight I think I knew there was something amiss.
Actually check the variation profiles as a lot of them are just fake profiles with no pictures ect. Also they will read very similar to the persons you are meeting.
Me I don't see the point in arranging to meet somebody if you have no intension of meeting and if for any reason you can't it's inexcusable not to let them know.
Any better luck in the future
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can only aim to work out just what it was about them that gave you anything in advance as some inkling that they weren't going to follow through. That eventually accrues into your wastedar, that inner strength that gets to sense and know that they're wasting your time.
As others say, always speak - often is better then less, even if it's just a quick confirmation that all is still on. Have an agreed agenda about how you will keep in touch leading up to the meet, and get them to confirm that they're going to do this. Any flakiness on their part and it's a giveaway that all's not right.
If I was dashing to hospital for an emergency, mine or someone else's, then it may be the time that a message won't be sent - but this happens rarely.
If any agreed schedule is not followed through, check the reasons. Forgetting is a poor almost invalid reason: they are likely to do the same or worse for a real meet appointment, so can be time to call it quits.
Also, the social meet first helps qualify people."
I would find it difficult to forget that I was meeting somebody for some sexy fun as this is all I can think about once a meet has been arranged |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After our second no show in a week I got to wondering how do you spot a time waster? The guy last night had a few verifications (women only) so seemed really genuine. All I asked from the start was "if you can't make it let us know" but he didn't. Should these people be given the benefit of the doubt of publicly flogged? Genuine people it's over to you... "
I have chatted with a few guys who are on here at social events as to why they think some let people down and the consensus is aggression especially with couples. Abruptness intolerance makes them think 'this is going tobe shit if they are lie this' and loose interest. Its not the reason in every case but couples I know rarely get let down and they do have a great rapport with people. |
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