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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm currently finding myself planning some things that have me right out of mine.... And now for the first time ever I can see why people bottle out.
Thing is I may enjoy it.... But right now it feels like one step too far. To many boundaries pushed in one evening. And it has me actually feeling sick with nerves. So what do you do when you feel that nervous.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If i felt sick with nerves about something i was going to do, i'd probably end up not doing it tbh! Pushing boundaries is about exploring, and wouldn't feel right doing something i may regret afterwards. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm currently finding myself planning some things that have me right out of mine.... And now for the first time ever I can see why people bottle out.
Thing is I may enjoy it.... But right now it feels like one step too far. To many boundaries pushed in one evening. And it has me actually feeling sick with nerves. So what do you do when you feel that nervous.... "
Stop and think about it carefully. Because if your that nervous about it that its making you sick, chances are you wont enjoy it.
Perhaps reasoning it through would help (CBT etc)? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If i felt sick with nerves about something i was going to do, i'd probably end up not doing it tbh! Pushing boundaries is about exploring, and wouldn't feel right doing something i may regret afterwards."
Agreed 
Pushing the limits barely is one things, but something outside your comfort zone...they call it that for a reason
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"I'm currently finding myself planning some things that have me right out of mine.... And now for the first time ever I can see why people bottle out.
Thing is I may enjoy it.... But right now it feels like one step too far. To many boundaries pushed in one evening. And it has me actually feeling sick with nerves. So what do you do when you feel that nervous.... "
Play Led Zeppelin II very loud. I played it all the way there to my first 'date' in 25 years - was ready to eat the guy for breakfast when I arrived for lunch! Ha!
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"Its playing with someone new one on one all by myself. Sounds tame but not for me. "
In which case I also offer my favourite recent quote:
"If in doubt, go full throttle! It may not improve the situation, but it will end the suspense!!" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thing is it is stupid to be so nervous. Its going to make for a good evening but ive got myself all worked up. And if I don't stop myself it will spoil lots of fun xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thing is it is stupid to be so nervous. Its going to make for a good evening but i've got myself all worked up. And if I don't stop myself it will spoil lots of fun xx"
If you're nervous (worried sick) as opposed to nervous (butterflies at the possibilities) I would say that your subconscious is trying to tell you something - and you're right, you need to deal with it first or your heading for a self-fulfilling prophecy of the evening not being as enjoyable as it could be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its playing with someone new one on one all by myself. Sounds tame but not for me. "
Is that it x. There mustbe a reason u said yes in first place,but feeling that nervous best to cancel and get ur bum to a club where ur feel more comfortable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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make a cuppa tea phone a friend and talk it through. you are probably just excited as it a new one for you...
it is always ment to be fun not a fuss
good luck
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I would look at what it is that is making me nervous.
For you, what is it about sex one to one with someone new that is scary? What drives that anxiety? Is it the not knowing the person so not being able to commit to that much intimacy? Is it that you don't feel safe? Is it that exposure to lots of people is a performance and you go into performance mode and don't know how to to that one to one?
I stop when my boundaries feel breached rather than expanded.
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"I'm currently finding myself planning some things that have me right out of mine.... And now for the first time ever I can see why people bottle out.
Thing is I may enjoy it.... But right now it feels like one step too far. To many boundaries pushed in one evening. And it has me actually feeling sick with nerves. So what do you do when you feel that nervous.... "
I always get nervous but we had a meet a year or so back now that was totally different to anything we had done before. It pushed me completely out of my comfort zone but was something that both of us had wanted to do for ages, just hadn't had the guts to arrange.
I was so nervous and felt physically sick in the week leading up to it that I nearly cancelled a few times. So glad I didn't as on the day, the nearer the time got to us leaving the calmer I felt. It turned out to be one of the best meets we have ever had. Planning on repeating something similar very soon.
So go for it, if when you get there you don't feel comfortable then say so. But if you don't go you will probably end up kicking yourself. x |
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I get so nervous....
Rescue Remedy becomes my friend!
Just make sure you're in an environment where you can walk away/get out at any point, then you know you're choosing to be there.
Even in control situations I need a way out if its not right.
Hope you have fun if you do go x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm currently finding myself planning some things that have me right out of mine.... And now for the first time ever I can see why people bottle out.
Thing is I may enjoy it.... But right now it feels like one step too far. To many boundaries pushed in one evening. And it has me actually feeling sick with nerves. So what do you do when you feel that nervous....
I always get nervous but we had a meet a year or so back now that was totally different to anything we had done before. It pushed me completely out of my comfort zone but was something that both of us had wanted to do for ages, just hadn't had the guts to arrange.
I was so nervous and felt physically sick in the week leading up to it that I nearly cancelled a few times. So glad I didn't as on the day, the nearer the time got to us leaving the calmer I felt. It turned out to be one of the best meets we have ever had. Planning on repeating something similar very soon.
So go for it, if when you get there you don't feel comfortable then say so. But if you don't go you will probably end up kicking yourself. x"
just go with no expectations have a drink and a chat there is nothing that says you have to do anything at all and if hes a nice guy he will understand dont do anything for the sake of it xx |
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"Rescue Remedy becomes my friend!
Does that stuff even work?"
I don't know whether it does or whether its psychological but it works for me, I used to suffer from panic attacks and it really did start to make a difference as to how I could control them
Ruby x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Its playing with someone new one on one all by myself. Sounds tame but not for me.
Is that it x. There mustbe a reason u said yes in first place,but feeling that nervous best to cancel and get ur bum to a club where ur feel more comfortable"
see you say is that it.. but yes.. to me that is way more scary than a 20 guy greedy girl session..
Someone else pointed out that when I play as a greedy girl.. I am in performance mode.. or show off mode as Lee calls it.
One on one.. I have to get to know someone, I cant get away with no contact.. I can maybe some stuff... but if I was to be going in a public room... that would be fine.. We are meeting at a club..
I have had a good talk with my Partner in perversion.. but I will just have to see how I feel once I am there.. at least I have said that its a social meet with no promise to play.. but even that has me nervous.
I know why it panics me.. I know why I avoid it... I know that this is a safe way to try and overcome it... and push my boundaries as I will be among friends and with my play partner around nearby too...
last time I was this nervous was before my first ever gangbang... ( and we all know I ended up loving that) but.....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Try and suss out your nerves cali, are they with a mixture of excitement? If so I guess its normal to be nervous before a big meet but if your senses are telling you its too much and not right, walk away, never do anything your not sure of. Good Luck lovely girl  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's not an irrational fear, Miss Cali. So long as you know you're physically safe from harm or abuse, you should be mentally at ease.
But if it's excitement nerves, just get on with your activities in the meantime and let the anticipation do you some favours on the day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I'm nervous I usually just do it anyway. It's like the moment when you're strapped into the rollercoaster and it sets off down the track and you're thinking "Let me get off!!". And then it's fun ....and you're screaming at the top of your lungs....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When I'm nervous I usually just do it anyway. It's like the moment when you're strapped into the rollercoaster and it sets off down the track and you're thinking "Let me get off!!". And then it's fun ....and you're screaming at the top of your lungs.... "
I hate rollercoasters lol and won't go on.X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I feel sick with nerves about tonight, my plan is to have a drink or 3 first "
I don't drink. To be honest I've told the guy I will take him to the club but no promises. I'm with my partner in perversion any way but he has a newbie he is showing aaround too. Idea was we would play separate then together. But I just feel to nervous and will just wait for him to be free lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"if its any colsolation .both newbies will be more nervous than you .. its only one evening .. you ll be fine x"
you know I actually wish that were try... You have never seen me in a full on panic.. I can get myself into a right flap over not a lot.. its amusing for my friends.. because I am normally so sure of myself I can be annoying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel sick with nerves about tonight, my plan is to have a drink or 3 first
I don't drink. "
I don't drink often either but I am tempted to start in the next hour.
Told Popeye I'm going to be sick about a dozen times  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel sick with nerves about tonight, my plan is to have a drink or 3 first
I don't drink.
I don't drink often either but I am tempted to start in the next hour.
Told Popeye I'm going to be sick about a dozen times "
its not just me then lol...
Thing is I do remember being like this before my first gangbang.. I was so scared I actually thought I was going to be sick for real.... I was shaking so bad the guy organising it nearly cancelled.. lol but I was okay... its just this is something I have never really done in all my years swinging..
Yet to most its what they start with... I have done it backwards I think..
cali x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel sick with nerves about tonight, my plan is to have a drink or 3 first
I don't drink.
I don't drink often either but I am tempted to start in the next hour.
Told Popeye I'm going to be sick about a dozen times
its not just me then lol...
Thing is I do remember being like this before my first gangbang.. I was so scared I actually thought I was going to be sick for real.... I was shaking so bad the guy organising it nearly cancelled.. lol but I was okay... its just this is something I have never really done in all my years swinging..
Yet to most its what they start with... I have done it backwards I think..
cali x"
No, I'll be the same tomorrow as I tack up to get on the horse lol I will have to take rescue remedy tomorrow too.
Tonight it a 1 on 1, I have met dozens of men but for some reason tonight I am panicking. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel sick with nerves about tonight, my plan is to have a drink or 3 first
I don't drink.
I don't drink often either but I am tempted to start in the next hour.
Told Popeye I'm going to be sick about a dozen times
its not just me then lol...
Thing is I do remember being like this before my first gangbang.. I was so scared I actually thought I was going to be sick for real.... I was shaking so bad the guy organising it nearly cancelled.. lol but I was okay... its just this is something I have never really done in all my years swinging..
Yet to most its what they start with... I have done it backwards I think..
cali x"
Just because other people have done it, doesn't mean it's not a big thing for you. x
I totally understand why it's scary for you. Think... whats the worst that can happen. Your partner's going to be around. If you decide you want out just get out. The guy should understand. If you know you can leave at any time it should be less scary. You're in control. |
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