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Witty retorts....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Whats your favs ?? Lol heres a couple of mine ....

" Im gonna kick your head in " gets the reply " You couldnt kick a football lol "

" Your a prick " gets the reply " If im a prick you must be a cunt we ought to get together "

" I'll remember that ! " gets the reply " Write it down, take a picture , I dont give a fuck lol "

All in the name of fun peeps lol

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I don't have any standard ones. I make them up as I go along.

Oh, you said witty. Sorry, disregard the above.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

one of my favourites when someone is being very argumentative fro the sake of it is

"I'd reply but I never enter into a battle of wits with an unarmed man/woman"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would agree with your opinion,but then we will both be wrong

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"one of my favourites when someone is being very argumentative fro the sake of it is

"I'd reply but I never enter into a battle of wits with an unarmed man/woman""

Yeh thats a good one lol

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I don't have standard ones - I wouldn't remember them. If I have a retort, witty or otherwise, it will be born when I retort.

I don't even remember the ones I have made most of the time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/10/13 11:22:16]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

One of my all time favs is ...

" Your so stupid you failed a survey lol"

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By *obnessMan over a year ago

york

I do like some of those though

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By *obnessMan over a year ago

york

[Removed by poster at 12/10/13 11:23:03]

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By *errynjuneCouple over a year ago

Barnsley

New years eve family all out in fancy dress, nasty woman " Don't you lot look a right set of c##ts ".

To which my instant reply was " at least we only do so one day a year ".

Always enjoyed that one, nearly cost me though, she instantly tried to kick me between the legs but failed again.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

seem more strength in a junior asprin

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like interrupting people by saying "that sounds like a lovely story, could you email me the rest so I can read it later?"

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By *onestjohn1962Man over a year ago

Sheffield

You're fat !

- You're ugly - at least I can slim.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

When god was giving out ears, you thought he said beers and asked for two juggs lol

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By *hyllyphyllyMan over a year ago

Bradford

My favourite one is when I worked for sky....

Angry customer - "you can take your dish and shove it up your arse"

Me - "I'm sorry sir, I can't. I have 3 up there already."

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Brilliant one in Withnail and I....

" You can shove it up your ass for nothing, and fuck off whilst your doing it " lol love that one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You're fat !

- You're ugly - at least I can slim.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think the best ones are off the cuff and don't work well again really,it's all about context I reckon. Got a beauty on a mate of mine once in a bar when he was losing an argument with me. He resorted to calling me a 'cocksucker' ( if only he knew ) To which I replied " I am great at sucking cock actually,also equally good at licking pussy,just ask your wife" Game set and match to me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You have got two hopes, no hope and Bob hope, and Bob is dead !

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By *eMontresMan over a year ago

Halesowen

Call me back when you've got less time

Almost a pleasure

I've had a good night, but this wasn't it

I'll waste no time in considering your assertion

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

my favourite is 'their loss'

I find I laugh at that a lot

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By *riendly foeWoman over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

"my favourite is 'their loss'

I find I laugh at that a lot"

Not half as funny as "Your loss" though

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

"my favourite is 'their loss'

I find I laugh at that a lot

Not half as funny as "Your loss" though

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 12/10/13 12:43:23]

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By *riendly foeWoman over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

" I like interrupting people by saying "that sounds like a lovely story, could you email me the rest so I can read it later?" "

I just look at them and ask them to get to the feckin point

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A good one when someone replys with the same insult.... "if I wanted my own comeback id wipe it off your mums chin"

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By *riendly foeWoman over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Small cock.....

Woman... "Who you going to satisfy with that"??

Man......"Me"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

happy gilmore

" I eat pieces of shit like u for breakfast!"

"You eat shit for breakfast?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A good one when someone replys with the same insult.... "if I wanted my own comeback id wipe it off your mums chin""

Classic

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By *issBehavingxxWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

When someone butts in when I'm talking the standard response is "I'm sorry... Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the start of yours"

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By *exystargirlWoman over a year ago

Warrington

I was walking back from the shop nearly and a teen couple were having a little tiff.

As i past them both i heard the lad say "Come on, don't be nasty, show us your pasty"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I think the worst i have heard is ....

" Is that your feet i can smell ? "

" No it bloody isnt ! "

" Oh must be your fanny then ! "

Harsh but funny lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wit is quite clearly dead

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By *riendly foeWoman over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

"Wit is quite clearly dead"

lol

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By *ibbyhunterCouple over a year ago

keighley

groucho marx.

a woman said to groucho, sir if you were my husband i would give you poison to drink, to which he replyed madam if i were your husband i would drink it ,

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By *emmefataleWoman over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

I never really think about what retorts I will use, I don't have standard pre planned ones....although I do love some of the Mae West ones.

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By *ichaelangelaCouple over a year ago

notts

hope you dont mind me talking while your interrupting

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By *MOOTH AND ROUGHCouple over a year ago

tamworth

My niece said to me

your so dumb when lize said its chilly out there you ran out with a spoon and a bowl

I was gobsmacked and couldn't find a come back lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"My niece said to me

your so dumb when lize said its chilly out there you ran out with a spoon and a bowl

I was gobsmacked and couldn't find a come back lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A mate asked a girl to dance one night, she gave him a dirty look and said not with you, his reply was... good cause I wanted a shit and I might aswell go now

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