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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was just wondering does this online world of sexual freedom make cynics out of people.
I'm for ever seeing moans about lack of success ..picture collectors ....timewasters .
Then you go into a forum post where someone has clearly had a unsettling experience but do they get emotion up lifting messages no they get mainly
cynical messages at worse the piss taken out of them in a sly way.
( I do wish the mods would leave such forum post open after they close them down as by reading though such posts you can easily see those who because of there own words one would wish to avoid when ever possible .)
Its kind of sad in a way that it seems to me from experience and reading this forum that a lot of people seem to view a chat that does lead to sex as a waste of time .
You know I don't mean to be rude but if I ever got to the point in my search that it was impacting my normal warm outlook towards my fellow human beings i'd take a brake from it as its surely crossed a line from fun into some think more .
Which is not what this game is about to me for me its about having some fun with people on the same wave length as me.
Discuss people do any of you sometime sit there and think they need to take a step back away from this game for a bit because its clearly cross a line with them .
Or is it just me and my life outlook that leads me to think like that from time to time when a read a forum post .  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I was a cynic long before I started swinging. 
However, I do agree with you. Teasing and joshing responses to some posts are to be expected, but some people can take it a little too far. I try not to let it bother me though.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was a cynic long before I started swinging.
However, I do agree with you. Teasing and joshing responses to some posts are to be expected, but some people can take it a little too far. I try not to let it bother me though.
"
I would say it does not bother me past the point of wishing the mods would leave the post open for all to see as that way you know who to avoid because thier life outlook does no agree with yours .
Which is kind of what the forums are for a discussion group where you can get a feel for people before messaging them privately .
Or maybe I'm looking at the forum all wrong  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Trouble is unless you conform, or sympathise, or join the herd you end up............
I do sometimes wonder if some folk are capable of original thought  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I have seen many a nasty response to some threads that just dont deserve it and the retort is sometimes missing the point to boot. To me these people are saying " I am on a swing site trying hard to meet but, after reading how rude and sharp I can be you would never want to meet me " ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people relish in poking and generally poring scorn on others so its not just you it happens a lot on the forums but it does in life too. you could sanitise the forums but then you will get healthy debate coming under censorship too. I would like to see more cracking down on the pouncing on people for this or that comment in a highly aggressive way its the aggregation that escalates things as I see it. Then maybe more first time posters would feel comfortable at joining in when they need answers to a problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you are always going to get people moaning on here, what people have to remember is that just because one person doesn't like something doesnt mean another doesn't,people is glass houses and all that
sometimes
lately it seems to be every other thread is men who cant get a meet and ladies and couples moaning about timewasters
alot are hypocrites and only say what they think ppl want to hear |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
It's only a small number of the total forumites that do this. To be honest, everyone else lets them get away with it without speaking up. Mods can only take action where the rules have been clearly broken. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Some people relish in poking and generally poring scorn on others so its not just you it happens a lot on the forums but it does in life too. you could sanitise the forums but then you will get healthy debate coming under censorship too. I would like to see more cracking down on the pouncing on people for this or that comment in a highly aggressive way its the aggregation that escalates things as I see it. Then maybe more first time posters would feel comfortable at joining in when they need answers to a problem."
This is true, however, I'd like to see some sticky threads, or maybe a newbies forum, dealing with the common, frequently repeated, topics such as 'why can't I get meets'/profile advice, women are rude and don't reply, which is better bbw/slim/big cocks/thick cocks/average cocks/black/white/brown/blue, timewasters and fakes/naming and shaming.
It's often those threads that draw scathing comments because they're seen so frequently and are often whinging in tone.
You can't blame newbies for not knowing how often they arise, although they could look back for similar threads or use the search, but it's also not surprising that people get irritated by seeing the same complaints and whinges over and over.
Some people do seem to expect to be spoon fed without making any effort to help themselves. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
I often leave a thread when all that crap starts. I don't like the way some believe that personal attacks are the way of arguing a point. It only demonstrates one thing to me - and I won't say what that is. Work it out for yourselves folks! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There could be up to a dozen different new what's wrong with my profile/why can't I get a meet/ look at me/woe is me threads started every day, many of the regular posters will be thoroughly bored by the same questions requiring the same answers every day. That often leads to the cynicism. If people read the threads they may often find a relevant answer to their faqs on a similar question |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I don't like how certain people get bees in their bonnets with another forum user and continually post on their threads and respond to their posts with little digs (or sometimes outright insults). |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"There could be up to a dozen different new what's wrong with my profile/why can't I get a meet/ look at me/woe is me threads started every day, many of the regular posters will be thoroughly bored by the same questions requiring the same answers every day. That often leads to the cynicism. If people read the threads they may often find a relevant answer to their faqs on a similar question"
Simple answer - don't look at those threads or post on them. I don't. Just like the kiss,fuck, pass ones which I find tedious in the extreme. I just don't even open those threads. Other people like them and post on them so just because I don't I wouldn't go on there to be unpleasant about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't take notice tbh a thread I spoke on this morn I talked abt wot the op said everybody else having a moan cuz it a similar thread and op moaning back x its fab world,open chat always has cynics,,different oppinions x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"there will always be some in any 'walk of life' or social group who are lacking in empathy and humanity..
twas ever thus.."
Sometimes though apparent lack of empathy is nothing more than a firm grasp of reality and the courage to speak out, more often than not against the herd mentality.
The end result is seldom good natured debate  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The swinging lifestyle hasn't made me cynical, maturity and life experience has.
There are lots of posts bemoaning the lack of meets etc. It's pretty obvious to me that many of these people are frustrated because their expectations of swinging are mismatched with reality.
Lots of guys, for example, on sign up expect that there are hundreds of sexy porn models who will do anything, are sat in front of their keyboards eager and waiting to have sex with anyone. When they realise the reality, when they are turned down, they are surprised and frustrated by it. The site of course becomes a big con then, cos it can't possibly be them can it?
Yes there are also rude people who don't have the ability to debate but will resort to insults. But we are a big diverse group of people, some are more intelligent than others, some are friendlier than others, some have a greater tolerance than others.
The forums can be harsh, but I don't agree that it should be softened or sugar coated. It's an adult site, we are all over 18, we should be able to deal with this, it's only words on a computer, and that computer has an off button. None of this Shoukd affect our lives.
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"there will always be some in any 'walk of life' or social group who are lacking in empathy and humanity..
twas ever thus..
Sometimes though apparent lack of empathy is nothing more than a firm grasp of reality and the courage to speak out, more often than not against the herd mentality.
The end result is seldom good natured debate "
It is possible to speak out without being rude, or personally offensive. There are those who believe that just because they hold an opinion then they have the right to 'voice' it regardless. That is not the case. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It is possible to speak out without being rude, or personally offensive. There are those who believe that just because they hold an opinion then they have the right to 'voice' it regardless. That is not the case. "
Surely as its a free and well modded site that, provided its kept polite every opinion has a place on here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It is possible to speak out without being rude, or personally offensive. There are those who believe that just because they hold an opinion then they have the right to 'voice' it regardless. That is not the case.
Surely as its a free and well modded site that, provided its kept polite every opinion has a place on here?"
Opinions yes, downright nastiness no, but the great thing about it is that people and their post content act as another filter  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It is possible to speak out without being rude, or personally offensive. There are those who believe that just because they hold an opinion then they have the right to 'voice' it regardless. That is not the case.
Surely as its a free and well modded site that, provided its kept polite every opinion has a place on here?
Opinions yes, downright nastiness no, but the great thing about it is that people and their post content act as another filter "
Doesn't downright nastiness simply get modded out? |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"
It is possible to speak out without being rude, or personally offensive. There are those who believe that just because they hold an opinion then they have the right to 'voice' it regardless. That is not the case.
Surely as its a free and well modded site that, provided its kept polite every opinion has a place on here?"
Well, I was thinking more of opinions which could be deemed illegal and offensive, if you catch my drift. Usually, really nasty stuff, which if voiced out in the street in public would cause you to have your collar felt, are voiced online with impunity with the 'defence' that 'everyone is entitled to an opinion'. What those kind of people do not realise is that 'entitled to an opinion' is not the same as 'entitled to VOICE and opinion'. Many people, online, have fallen foul of that misunderstanding.
And there is a vast difference between an opinion and abuse. I have noted on sites (not just this one) where someone has been very rude and been taken to task about it always fall back on the 'opinion' defence. No, if you are deliberately attacking and upsetting someone then it is NOT just an opinion. We are not kids ffs! We KNOW when we are being rude. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It is possible to speak out without being rude, or personally offensive. There are those who believe that just because they hold an opinion then they have the right to 'voice' it regardless. That is not the case.
Surely as its a free and well modded site that, provided its kept polite every opinion has a place on here?
Well, I was thinking more of opinions which could be deemed illegal and offensive, if you catch my drift. Usually, really nasty stuff, which if voiced out in the street in public would cause you to have your collar felt, are voiced online with impunity with the 'defence' that 'everyone is entitled to an opinion'. What those kind of people do not realise is that 'entitled to an opinion' is not the same as 'entitled to VOICE and opinion'. Many people, online, have fallen foul of that misunderstanding.
And there is a vast difference between an opinion and abuse. I have noted on sites (not just this one) where someone has been very rude and been taken to task about it always fall back on the 'opinion' defence. No, if you are deliberately attacking and upsetting someone then it is NOT just an opinion. We are not kids ffs! We KNOW when we are being rude."
I get your point |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It is possible to speak out without being rude, or personally offensive. There are those who believe that just because they hold an opinion then they have the right to 'voice' it regardless. That is not the case.
Surely as its a free and well modded site that, provided its kept polite every opinion has a place on here?
Opinions yes, downright nastiness no, but the great thing about it is that people and their post content act as another filter
Doesn't downright nastiness simply get modded out?"
Eventually.
Like the OP I'd like threads to stand as witness to this, closed yes but not deleted. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
It is possible to speak out without being rude, or personally offensive. There are those who believe that just because they hold an opinion then they have the right to 'voice' it regardless. That is not the case.
Surely as its a free and well modded site that, provided its kept polite every opinion has a place on here?
Opinions yes, downright nastiness no, but the great thing about it is that people and their post content act as another filter
Doesn't downright nastiness simply get modded out?
Eventually.
Like the OP I'd like threads to stand as witness to this, closed yes but not deleted."
Yes I agree threads should stand so all can see who said what and I'm sure if they did it would lead to a more polite debate and there fore a more interesting one .
Yes life can make us cynical but to go through your life taking a cynical line all the time is a very unattractive trait if you ask me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes life can make us cynical but to go through your life taking a cynical line all the time is a very unattractive trait if you ask me "
I'm only cynical with regards to "single" men on "dating" sites. It pays off marvellously  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes life can make us cynical but to go through your life taking a cynical line all the time is a very unattractive trait if you ask me
I'm only cynical with regards to "single" men on "dating" sites. It pays off marvellously ."
That extends to include 'single' women here |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
I'm not cynical, I am a realist, been around too long to take too many things so so seriously, I can see why people get frustrated at times though.On the other hand I have never ever had a timewaster, a no show, had problems ever getting the meet I wanted, let messages bother me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes life can make us cynical but to go through your life taking a cynical line all the time is a very unattractive trait if you ask me
I'm only cynical with regards to "single" men on "dating" sites. It pays off marvellously ."
god us single blokes are so bad, well that fact
that we aint single is bad, all liars and cheats, get rid of us all !!! condemn us all to hell lol
am I being cynical here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not cynical, I am a realist, been around too long to take too many things so so seriously, I can see why people get frustrated at times though.On the other hand I have never ever had a timewaster, a no show, had problems ever getting the meet I wanted, let messages bother me."
If that approach caught on the Forum content would at least halve |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes life can make us cynical but to go through your life taking a cynical line all the time is a very unattractive trait if you ask me
I'm only cynical with regards to "single" men on "dating" sites. It pays off marvellously .
god us single blokes are so bad, well that fact
that we aint single is bad, all liars and cheats, get rid of us all !!! condemn us all to hell lol
am I being cynical here "
Not that bad an idea actually  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Yes life can make us cynical but to go through your life taking a cynical line all the time is a very unattractive trait if you ask me
I'm only cynical with regards to "single" men on "dating" sites. It pays off marvellously .
G
god us single blokes are so bad, well that fact
that we aint single is bad, all liars and cheats, get rid of us all !!! condemn us all to hell lol
am I being cynical here
Not that bad an idea actually "
I personally think that's a very bad idea how dull would it be to live in a world full of perfect angels .....sod it give me hell with the interesting sinners any day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes life can make us cynical but to go through your life taking a cynical line all the time is a very unattractive trait if you ask me
I'm only cynical with regards to "single" men on "dating" sites. It pays off marvellously .
god us single blokes are so bad, well that fact
that we aint single is bad, all liars and cheats, get rid of us all !!! condemn us all to hell lol
am I being cynical here "
I guess you could polarise cynicism to that degree but one can have a healthy cynicism with regard to certain aspects. Mine is that I don't believe a guy's spiel until I get a true sense of him. In other words he cannot say something HE thinks i want to hear, to get into my knickers. |
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"Trouble is unless you conform, or sympathise, or join the herd you end up............
I do sometimes wonder if some folk are capable of original thought "
For some being all things to all men/women enhances the chance of emptying their sacs/scratching an itch: their primary objective.
They're not going to rock the boat are they...or am I just cynical?!! |
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By *RYBBWCouple
over a year ago
Leeds. |
"Trouble is unless you conform, or sympathise, or join the herd you end up............
I do sometimes wonder if some folk are capable of original thought "
We do post original thought. But more often than not we get shot down in flames for not going with the flow. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Trouble is unless you conform, or sympathise, or join the herd you end up............
I do sometimes wonder if some folk are capable of original thought
We do post original thought. But more often than not we get shot down in flames for not going with the flow."
Maybe if you weren't so bitter and a tad more light hearted at times it may help. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"On the other hand I have never had problems ever getting the meet I wanted
Most guys are an easy lay for femme it seems!
I'm a fucking challenge.
"
Then you woke up.....Is your surname "Mitty" by perchance? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On the other hand I have never had problems ever getting the meet I wanted
Most guys are an easy lay for femme it seems!
I'm a fucking challenge.
Then you woke up.....Is your surname "Mitty" by perchance? "
What's mitty?...  |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"On the other hand I have never had problems ever getting the meet I wanted
Most guys are an easy lay for femme it seems!
I'm a fucking challenge.
Then you woke up.....Is your surname "Mitty" by perchance?
What's mitty?... "
Google it along with the first name "walter" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On the other hand I have never had problems ever getting the meet I wanted
Most guys are an easy lay for femme it seems!
I'm a fucking challenge.
Then you woke up.....Is your surname "Mitty" by perchance?
What's mitty?... Google it along with the first name "walter" "
Googled it and bitch! |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"On the other hand I have never had problems ever getting the meet I wanted
Most guys are an easy lay for femme it seems!
I'm a fucking challenge.
Then you woke up.....Is your surname "Mitty" by perchance?
What's mitty?... Google it along with the first name "walter"
Googled it and bitch! "
Penny dropped yet....yay! |
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