FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Body issues.
Body issues.
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Everywhere I look on Fab I am seeing toned men. Think I might be starting to get a complex,....
I don't think I'm fat by any means I just have a belly, I don't think I would be 100% comfortable playing with a couple where the guy was all toned. Would still do it though, face my fears and all that.
Julia doesn't like muscles on a guy so I guess I'm lucky that I found her.
I don't know exactly what I am trying to say here, I guess it's just letting an insecurity off my chest.
Does anyone else go through anything similar, or have anything to say on the subject?
I would be interested to hear your views.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everywhere I look on Fab I am seeing toned men. Think I might be starting to get a complex,....
I don't think I'm fat by any means I just have a belly, I don't think I would be 100% comfortable playing with a couple where the guy was all toned. Would still do it though, face my fears and all that.
Julia doesn't like muscles on a guy so I guess I'm lucky that I found her.
I don't know exactly what I am trying to say here, I guess it's just letting an insecurity off my chest.
Does anyone else go through anything similar, or have anything to say on the subject?
I would be interested to hear your views.... "
I seem to find women in my area always go for the toned guys. Kinda makes me feel a bit self conscious. I do have a little beer belly but not much.
But yes i do find myself thinking what if i looked like that would i get more meets. Doesnt help im kind of hairy too i guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it doesnt really matter because the sex isnt any better with a fit man and its to do with how you get on with each other and what you both like doing.
i dont like men who are too overweight though, plump is ok. |
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"Everywhere I look on Fab I am seeing toned men. Think I might be starting to get a complex,....
I don't think I'm fat by any means I just have a belly, I don't think I would be 100% comfortable playing with a couple where the guy was all toned. Would still do it though, face my fears and all that.
Julia doesn't like muscles on a guy so I guess I'm lucky that I found her.
I don't know exactly what I am trying to say here, I guess it's just letting an insecurity off my chest.
Does anyone else go through anything similar, or have anything to say on the subject?
I would be interested to hear your views....
I seem to find women in my area always go for the toned guys. Kinda makes me feel a bit self conscious. I do have a little beer belly but not much.
But yes i do find myself thinking what if i looked like that would i get more meets. Doesnt help im kind of hairy too i guess."
Julia likes hairy too, there I fail.....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have a six pack never had. I never bother about getting my belly out at the beach (or a club). I am happy with my body so no it dose not bother me if someone next to me has a six pack 
OP you don't look as if you have a beer belly so get over it and have fun. most women are more interested in a connection with some one although looks help its not top of there list |
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"it doesnt really matter because the sex isnt any better with a fit man and its to do with how you get on with each other and what you both like doing."
I could not agree more, personality is the most attractive thing in a person  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everywhere I look on Fab I am seeing toned men. Think I might be starting to get a complex,....
I don't think I'm fat by any means I just have a belly, I don't think I would be 100% comfortable playing with a couple where the guy was all toned. Would still do it though, face my fears and all that.
Julia doesn't like muscles on a guy so I guess I'm lucky that I found her.
I don't know exactly what I am trying to say here, I guess it's just letting an insecurity off my chest.
Does anyone else go through anything similar, or have anything to say on the subject?
I would be interested to hear your views....
I seem to find women in my area always go for the toned guys. Kinda makes me feel a bit self conscious. I do have a little beer belly but not much.
But yes i do find myself thinking what if i looked like that would i get more meets. Doesnt help im kind of hairy too i guess.
Julia likes hairy too, there I fail..... "
Dont worry about it dude. I get judged for:
Being a single male
Not being toned
Not having veri's but women here dont like single men as apparently we are all rude lol
Being hairy
Lol im screwed
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As I am not exactly in prime shape myself I tend to wonder what a toned fit guy would want with me when I get messages from them. I am sure there are fit toned girls to match that they could meet. I tend to be less keen to meet at I see them as kinda out of my league if that makes sense xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well we are what we are and you have your partner in crime and should be very happy as she's an attractive lady.
Myself I am not toned but getting there but don't want to to be to toned as that;s not attractive either.
We all get judge here rightly or wrongly but I take everything with a pinch of salt. Not everyone likes a rugby physique but other love it and not everyone like a hair man and like your partner some really do like it.
You look like a sound guy and girl be happy with what you have been given and go with the flow ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's weird on here cos I'm a cuddly build and in the real world while I'm training to lose weight I'm a confident bloke , on here a lot of the women seem to want guys with athletic builds and huge cocks. Kind of destroys your confidence a bit but hey ho, onwards and upwards.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it doesnt really matter because the sex isnt any better with a fit man and its to do with how you get on with each other and what you both like doing.
I could not agree more, personality is the most attractive thing in a person "
nobody is perfect, and in our experience people who are seriously conscious of trying to attain a perfect body and spend a lot of time on this aren't the kind of fun and laid back people we like to meet to be honest. A few brain cells and ability to have a bit of a giggle much more important than a six pack |
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By *bbwlizWoman
over a year ago
oldham |
"As I am not exactly in prime shape myself I tend to wonder what a toned fit guy would want with me when I get messages from them. I am sure there are fit toned girls to match that they could meet. I tend to be less keen to meet at I see them as kinda out of my league if that makes sense xx"
I know a few big women who feel like this, and who feel too self conscience around guys with a toned physique.
I urge you not to see yourself as not matching up, as what is the inside is far more important then how a person looks.
Also don't put yourself down. No one is any better, or deserves any more credit based on there looks. Show people you are confident about yourself, with the way you present yourself, as your confidence is the biggest attraction.
And when someone comes along that you like, tell yourself ............ Yes I am good enough. Now lets find out if there good enough for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I am not exactly in prime shape myself I tend to wonder what a toned fit guy would want with me when I get messages from them. I am sure there are fit toned girls to match that they could meet. I tend to be less keen to meet at I see them as kinda out of my league if that makes sense xx
I know a few big women who feel like this, and who feel too self conscience around guys with a toned physique.
I urge you not to see yourself as not matching up, as what is the inside is far more important then how a person looks.
Also don't put yourself down. No one is any better, or deserves any more credit based on there looks. Show people you are confident about yourself, with the way you present yourself, as your confidence is the biggest attraction.
And when someone comes along that you like, tell yourself ............ Yes I am good enough. Now lets find out if there good enough for me. "
Also you should only improve yourself physically if you want to do it for yourself and not for the benefits of others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I am not exactly in prime shape myself I tend to wonder what a toned fit guy would want with me when I get messages from them. I am sure there are fit toned girls to match that they could meet. I tend to be less keen to meet at I see them as kinda out of my league if that makes sense xx
I know a few big women who feel like this, and who feel too self conscience around guys with a toned physique.
I urge you not to see yourself as not matching up, as what is the inside is far more important then how a person looks.
Also don't put yourself down. No one is any better, or deserves any more credit based on there looks. Show people you are confident about yourself, with the way you present yourself, as your confidence is the biggest attraction.
And when someone comes along that you like, tell yourself ............ Yes I am good enough. Now lets find out if there good enough for me.
Also you should only improve yourself physically if you want to do it for yourself and not for the benefits of others. "
To both the above posts. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I realised fairly recently that at any given moment in time you are who and what you are. People can take you or leave you because you can't really change anything significant in the next 5 minutes, the next hour or really, even the next month.
Decide to change things if you want to but don't let it stop you from enjoying now. You can wait forever to do things if you wait until everything is perfect.
And if someone isn't interested then move on. Don't try, don't get. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I am not exactly in prime shape myself I tend to wonder what a toned fit guy would want with me when I get messages from them. I am sure there are fit toned girls to match that they could meet. I tend to be less keen to meet at I see them as kinda out of my league if that makes sense xx
I know a few big women who feel like this, and who feel too self conscience around guys with a toned physique.
I urge you not to see yourself as not matching up, as what is the inside is far more important then how a person looks.
Also don't put yourself down. No one is any better, or deserves any more credit based on there looks. Show people you are confident about yourself, with the way you present yourself, as your confidence is the biggest attraction.
And when someone comes along that you like, tell yourself ............ Yes I am good enough. Now lets find out if there good enough for me.
Also you should only improve yourself physically if you want to do it for yourself and not for the benefits of others.
To both the above posts. "
Entirely agree. I'm pretty sure I'm about the oldest female here, and I felt pretty selfconscious about that; age, build, - how could I compete? And after a few meets I realised that my not-so-slim-body and age didn't make a blind bit of difference. I have met some younger men, in whose company I would have felt totally out my my comfort zone when younger. Now I feel appreciated for who I am. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everywhere I look on Fab I am seeing toned men. Think I might be starting to get a complex,....
I don't think I'm fat by any means I just have a belly, I don't think I would be 100% comfortable playing with a couple where the guy was all toned. Would still do it though, face my fears and all that.
Julia doesn't like muscles on a guy so I guess I'm lucky that I found her.
I don't know exactly what I am trying to say here, I guess it's just letting an insecurity off my chest.
Does anyone else go through anything similar, or have anything to say on the subject?
I would be interested to hear your views.... "
Although i try and stay in shape(for myself) i have no problems seeing girls of all shapes and sizes (check my profile,i mentioned it) it's all about if you click with the person and it's not all about body shape  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im 5ft 7 and im 13 stone. I have a pot belly, have had it for years. Im not unhealthy nor am i overweight. I just know that at 45 years of age, the belly aint going anywhere no matter how much i try.
Im comfortable in my skin, thats the important thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Im comfortable in my skin, thats the important thing "
That is the key to having fun Tender learn to like yourself and feel comfortable with who you are body shape and personality before you open up to others...i dont mean open your legs lol. |
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"
I know a few big women who feel like this, and who feel too self conscience around guys with a toned physique.
I urge you not to see yourself as not matching up, as what is the inside is far more important then how a person looks.
Also don't put yourself down. No one is any better, or deserves any more credit based on there looks. Show people you are confident about yourself, with the way you present yourself, as your confidence is the biggest attraction.
And when someone comes along that you like, tell yourself ............ Yes I am good enough. Now lets find out if there good enough for me. "
Liz your posts always make sense. Thank you.
I have finally gained confidence and now I can't keep up with the amount of meets I'm getting or the regular friends I'm making. This in turn has made my personality shine and my verifications say it all (not being big headed, but my personality is way better than my body and looks).  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have so many body issues bieng bigger but love toned guys and have been with women with lovely figures once i get going i dont care.
And if they did they wouldnt play to start with...just go for it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You show me someone without body issues and I'll show you a liar.
We all have one part of us we wish was different in one way or another.
It's just down to each individual how they deal with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You show me someone without body issues and I'll show you a liar.
We all have one part of us we wish was different in one way or another.
It's just down to each individual how they deal with it. "
Im not saying i dont have an issue with my body but i cant change it unfortunately. I would like an extra 3 - 4 inches on my cock length. |
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By *bbwlizWoman
over a year ago
oldham |
Thanks babe and I'm glad your feeling more confident about your meets.
Your personality isn't better than your looks, your personality is MORE Important than anyone's looks.
Keeping that positive mental attitude going lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me and max definitely arnt tonned but very confident in ourselves but u wouldn't swap max for a tonned fit guy fir love nor money its what is on the inside that counts xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You show me someone without body issues and I'll show you a liar.
We all have one part of us we wish was different in one way or another.
It's just down to each individual how they deal with it. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's the beauty of this place - we all have an idea of what we like and can stick with and respect that in others.
Not everyone is everyone's cup of tea and that's fine. However, beware of preconceived misconceptions |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like the poem says, no man is an island entire to itself. In that sense, even though it sounds contradictory, I personally believe that our sense of self arises from others. So I guess it is difficult, not impossible, to not compare yourself to others.
The dominant narratives within medias that when it comes to masculinity and body size, bigger and more muscular is always better. That is not necessarily always the case though.
Without condeming musculation, which seems to have its benefits, it is not wise to apply the standards of beauty defined by society to your own life. Anyone who tries to do so will likely feel incompetent and inadequate. Challenging the dominant discourse may be more productive.
Having said that , I’d like to finish by saying that the only person you should compared yourself with, is yourself.
Muhammad Ali once said : The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life. You should push yourself to evolve in the way you’d like to, be it mentally or physically.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is difficult as it seems as a single guy you won’t be looked at or considered unless you have massive muscle, 6 pack abs and a 8+ inch penis.
I know this isn’t the case but it does seem to be a reoccurring theme and can be off putting  |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
The beauty of the site is that there are all shapes and sizes and a range of preferences within that. It’s difficult at times to stop your head taking over and overthinking or comparing yourself to others but it doesn’t help anything. Learning to accept what you are and what you’re not is helpful on the journey  |
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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
"It is difficult as it seems as a single guy you won’t be looked at or considered unless you have massive muscle, 6 pack abs and a 8+ inch penis.
I know this isn’t the case but it does seem to be a reoccurring theme and can be off putting "
BS I’d say. I am short guy with no gym fit body. Yet check my verries, all from the clubs. Your confidence and nice smile can do a lot |
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M8 ur a couple so ur doin something right ...as 4 ur body issues uv already said ur partner not into muscles and 6packs so it's not like she picking those type of guys 2 play with ....every guy on here no matter how good they look will want more bigger better so ur not alone in that thought x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When it comes to body, try not to compare yourself man. I'm sure it's worse in your mind than in reality. Everyone has their insecurities, even the 6 foot tall six pack guys. Everyone has their stuff.
You're part of a couple, which is already proof that you're nailing it.
So don't worry. Besides, I know plenty of women who prefer having a bit more to cuddle into than muscles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When it comes to body, try not to compare yourself man. I'm sure it's worse in your mind than in reality. Everyone has their insecurities, even the 6 foot tall six pack guys. Everyone has their stuff.
You're part of a couple, which is already proof that you're nailing it.
So don't worry. Besides, I know plenty of women who prefer having a bit more to cuddle into than muscles "
I am not sure what is happening right now 
But your impressed me cammo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And don't spend your time lookin' around. For something you want that can't be found".
You know which philosopher said that? Baloo the Bear.
Then again, he was a bit of a fat bastard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm mostly confident but I have my insecurities the same as anyone else
If a guy messages me and all his pics/veris are from slim women I probably won't meet him and I'd be unsure his intentions for messaging me |
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I'm almost too old to give a toss.
I can usually tell from looking in her eyes and seeing if that twinkle is there (or not) as to whether this is just going to be a polite drink together or something else.
I find it helps to not have any expectations when meeting the other person for the first time. Profile pictures, text and veri's rarely provide a full picture of the other person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As you get older it gets harder to stay in shape , some people are obsessed with their image, that's why a mental connection is so important , looks and physic go but a mental connection is forever. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everywhere I look on Fab I am seeing toned men. Think I might be starting to get a complex,....
I don't think I'm fat by any means I just have a belly, I don't think I would be 100% comfortable playing with a couple where the guy was all toned. Would still do it though, face my fears and all that.
Julia doesn't like muscles on a guy so I guess I'm lucky that I found her.
I don't know exactly what I am trying to say here, I guess it's just letting an insecurity off my chest.
Does anyone else go through anything similar, or have anything to say on the subject?
I would be interested to hear your views.... "
I love guys like you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We all have insecurities about our bodies, I am very firmly in that camp.
Fab photos don’t help as we pick the most flattering photos, from the best angles. I am as guilty as the next man, most of my photos are post workout photos where the muscles are pumped and I am looking good (in my opinion). In reality I am a middle aged man fighting to maintain some semblance of fitness/body condition.
There is always going to be someone younger, better looking, fitter than us - as long as you are comfortable with your body then that is really all that matters.
I will never be everyone’s cup of tea, but I might be someone’s shot of whisky.
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"When it comes to body, try not to compare yourself man. I'm sure it's worse in your mind than in reality. Everyone has their insecurities, even the 6 foot tall six pack guys. Everyone has their stuff.
You're part of a couple, which is already proof that you're nailing it.
So don't worry. Besides, I know plenty of women who prefer having a bit more to cuddle into than muscles "
No way I just read this from cammo |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"When it comes to body, try not to compare yourself man. I'm sure it's worse in your mind than in reality. Everyone has their insecurities, even the 6 foot tall six pack guys. Everyone has their stuff.
You're part of a couple, which is already proof that you're nailing it.
So don't worry. Besides, I know plenty of women who prefer having a bit more to cuddle into than muscles
No way I just read this from cammo "
It's lovely isn't it?
Cammo, I hope you reread this and truly believe it. |
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"Everywhere I look on Fab I am seeing toned men. Think I might be starting to get a complex,....
I don't think I'm fat by any means I just have a belly, I don't think I would be 100% comfortable playing with a couple where the guy was all toned. Would still do it though, face my fears and all that.
Julia doesn't like muscles on a guy so I guess I'm lucky that I found her.
I don't know exactly what I am trying to say here, I guess it's just letting an insecurity off my chest.
Does anyone else go through anything similar, or have anything to say on the subject?
I would be interested to hear your views.... "
I feel you if it’s a couple with a guy who looks like he should be on men’s health cover I think why would they want me so I don’t message .
I’ve a dad bod I have to learn to be happy in that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When it comes to body, try not to compare yourself man. I'm sure it's worse in your mind than in reality. Everyone has their insecurities, even the 6 foot tall six pack guys. Everyone has their stuff.
You're part of a couple, which is already proof that you're nailing it.
So don't worry. Besides, I know plenty of women who prefer having a bit more to cuddle into than muscles "
Proud of you |
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By *beeMan
over a year ago
Bristol |
I did tone up during lockdown and thought i looked decent, there's never been a six pack mind!
Then I got an injury couldn't run anymore so socialising became drinking and eating instead. Lost the body I had/ wanted and it's such a struggle to get it back. If only I could give up the beer! |
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I've never carried any weight and always been in and around 12 stone all my life but wouldn't take my shirt off in public or on a beach and hated going to the swimming pool or gym.
It's only been in the last 7 or 8 years that I've had any sort of body confidence. |
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