 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Two Irish nuns sat at traffic lights in their car when a bunch of rowdy d*unks pulls up alongside.
"Oi, get your tits out, you penguins!" shouts one of the d*unks.
The Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculata, "I don't think they know who we are - show them your cross".
So Sister Immaculata winds down her window and shouts, "Fuck off you little wankers, before I come over there and rip your balls off"!
Sister Immaculata looks back at the Mother Superior and asks
“ Was that cross enough?” |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By * Jay69Man
over a year ago
Bridgwater - Somerset |
An old man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts.
He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?"
"Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away.
He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.
"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?" he asks again.
"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?"
So the man runs around the next block and faces her again.
"Would you let me bite your breasts - just once - for $10,000?!"
She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmmmm, $10,000... Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."
So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them - but not biting them.
The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, 'Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?'
.
.
.
.
.
"Nah," says the man... "too expensive!" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
why cant you trust the king of the jungle?
cuz he's a lion (think about it)
how do you cook toast in the jungle?
put it under a gorilla
why cant you get headache tablets in the jungle?
cuz the parrots eat em all
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
On a slightly surreal note:
Two goldfish in a tank...one says to the other 'how the hell do you drive this?'
Two parrots on a perch...one says to the other 'can you smell fish?'
A panda goes into a pub and says to the
barman 'ill have a pint of....................................................................................................................lager please'
The barman looks up and says 'whats with the big pause'
Guy goes into a pub...straight to the bar and orders 10 rum and blacks..
As the barman starts to pour them, the bloke tells him to make em doubles....
'blimey', says the barman, 'are you celebrating or something mate?'
The guy replies 'I had my first blowjob today'
'Well', the barman replies, 'Let me get you another!'
'Huh' says the bloke, 'After 10 double rum an blacks, I don't think one more is gonna help take the taste away!' |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My mate got me a dictionary for my birthday.
"Why did you get me this?" I asked.
He said, "Because you're stupid."
Then for his birthday I got him a dildo.
"Why did you get me this?" he asked.
I said, "Because you're a cunt." |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
