FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Employability
Employability
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Needed a Food Hygiene Certificate so I asked to be put through training. In order to be put through training I had to be put through an 'employability course'.
On the first day of this employability course, I FAILED an induction test because I proved that I'm too intelligent to need help with employability skills.
So the "learning" tutor gave me two options after suggesting that I must be "lacking in something" to be unemployed in the first place:
1.) Fake stupidity and go through with the course, despite the fact it makes me unable to attend my business course
2.) Be sent back to the Jobcentre where I will be kicked off the dole because this course is MANDATORY and apparently unavoidable
This is no ordinary Dept for Work and Pensions, this is Con-Dem Dept for Work and Pensions.
FUCK IT ALL, THE STIGMA OF BEING OUT OF WORK BECAUSE APPARENTLY PEOPLE LIKE ME CAN'T BE ARSED OR CAN'T SORT OUR OWN LIVES OUT, AND YET I NEED TO BE A TOTAL MONGOLOID TO INCREASE MY CHANCES OF GETTING A JOB??? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE???
Now I'm done, would anybody like to criticise my attitude?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm in a similar situation. The courses I need to do improve my chances are full blown 2 year courses or sage which is £80 at college.
The jobcentre will only fund learn direct courses which will teach me stuff I already know as I have Clait etc but they won't help me do anything that will actually help me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *obbygggMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Needed a Food Hygiene Certificate so I asked to be put through training. In order to be put through training I had to be put through an 'employability course'.
On the first day of this employability course, I FAILED an induction test because I proved that I'm too intelligent to need help with employability skills.
So the "learning" tutor gave me two options after suggesting that I must be "lacking in something" to be unemployed in the first place:
1.) Fake stupidity and go through with the course, despite the fact it makes me unable to attend my business course
2.) Be sent back to the Jobcentre where I will be kicked off the dole because this course is MANDATORY and apparently unavoidable
This is no ordinary Dept for Work and Pensions, this is Con-Dem Dept for Work and Pensions.
FUCK IT ALL, THE STIGMA OF BEING OUT OF WORK BECAUSE APPARENTLY PEOPLE LIKE ME CAN'T BE ARSED OR CAN'T SORT OUR OWN LIVES OUT, AND YET I NEED TO BE A TOTAL MONGOLOID TO INCREASE MY CHANCES OF GETTING A JOB??? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE???
Now I'm done, would anybody like to criticise my attitude? "
Nothing wrong with your attitude. It's the Job Centre who have explaining to do.If you are doing a course through the Job Centre they cannot throw you off JSA because a course tutor won't give you a place. They can't. Who told you they could? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm in a similar situation. The courses I need to do improve my chances are full blown 2 year courses or sage which is £80 at college.
The jobcentre will only fund learn direct courses which will teach me stuff I already know as I have Clait etc but they won't help me do anything that will actually help me "
Yeah I hear ya! Basic skills don't help the majority of unemployed. It's surprising that there are people that dont know how to use computers at all (I think some of them are just fibbing) and then some, and of course there are seriously drugged up kids that dont know an outside world exists. But dammit.
They can help people that are serious and yet the serious people are treated like they're taking the piss. My sense of humour is pretty sore after today, my apologies  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Needed a Food Hygiene Certificate so I asked to be put through training. In order to be put through training I had to be put through an 'employability course'.
On the first day of this employability course, I FAILED an induction test because I proved that I'm too intelligent to need help with employability skills.
So the "learning" tutor gave me two options after suggesting that I must be "lacking in something" to be unemployed in the first place:
1.) Fake stupidity and go through with the course, despite the fact it makes me unable to attend my business course
2.) Be sent back to the Jobcentre where I will be kicked off the dole because this course is MANDATORY and apparently unavoidable
This is no ordinary Dept for Work and Pensions, this is Con-Dem Dept for Work and Pensions.
FUCK IT ALL, THE STIGMA OF BEING OUT OF WORK BECAUSE APPARENTLY PEOPLE LIKE ME CAN'T BE ARSED OR CAN'T SORT OUR OWN LIVES OUT, AND YET I NEED TO BE A TOTAL MONGOLOID TO INCREASE MY CHANCES OF GETTING A JOB??? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE???
Now I'm done, would anybody like to criticise my attitude? "
pathetic but all too typical of the job centre etc at the moment
they were useless for me when I lost job as a senior retail manager they wanted me to apply for security and cleaning ( nothing against those professions but the salary drop and non utilisation of my skills ) then retrained as a chef at my cost to be told I could apply for kitchenporter jobs !
I'm with you mate its idiotic but hey the taxpayers paw your wage so bend over while they all shaft you in turn as is their right too   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nothing wrong with your attitude. It's the Job Centre who have explaining to do.If you are doing a course through the Job Centre they cannot throw you off JSA because a course tutor won't give you a place. They can't. Who told you they could?"
It's the Jobcentre they will TRY and do what they like. Here they are sanctioning people who don't apply for 3 advertised jobs a week, in this area there isn't always 3 jobs to apply for that a person can do or where they meet a person spec.
So people are being forced to apply for jobs where they don't meet the person spec or have the skills required. I bet employers are loving it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Nothing wrong with your attitude. It's the Job Centre who have explaining to do.If you are doing a course through the Job Centre they cannot throw you off JSA because a course tutor won't give you a place. They can't. Who told you they could?"
7
The Jobcentre themselves. Anything classed as mandatory and not voluntary is met with sanctions if you fail to attend or stay on the course.
My business course is voluntary but I turn up every week.
Yet, the business course means that I'm exempt from looking for work in the meanwhile because I'm supposed to put all my resources into business planning, and yet this course now states that I must find a job so that they can tick me off their box.
LOL LOL LOL LOL shoot me  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
They can help people that are serious and yet the serious people are treated like they're taking the piss. My sense of humour is pretty sore after today, my apologies "
I have even been told by my advisor there is nothing that they can do for me, unless I do a part time college course which may lose me benefit as they may deem it as stopping me from actively seeking work.
The sage course isn't a free course and they won't fund it, despite the fact that more and more jobs that I could do are asking for sage experience. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm with you mate its idiotic but hey the taxpayers paw your wage so bend over while they all shaft you in turn as is their right too "
Haha thanks mate, i needed a chuckle, its so true. I ache from frustration since my new advisor last week was so honest when she said she understood why I was so fucked up with depression since nothing goes right for me.
I will fight this like a motherfucker, but I'm tired of playing games. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
They can help people that are serious and yet the serious people are treated like they're taking the piss. My sense of humour is pretty sore after today, my apologies
I have even been told by my advisor there is nothing that they can do for me, unless I do a part time college course which may lose me benefit as they may deem it as stopping me from actively seeking work.
The sage course isn't a free course and they won't fund it, despite the fact that more and more jobs that I could do are asking for sage experience. "
They suck big donkey balls...
Eeyore Balls!
I wish you the best of luck with your course if you can get through to it and succeed xx  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"............
LOL LOL LOL LOL shoot me
That'll be in the 2015 Tory manifesto."
How coincidental, that's when I become the leader of the Undead Che Guevara Party  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *obbygggMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Nothing wrong with your attitude. It's the Job Centre who have explaining to do.If you are doing a course through the Job Centre they cannot throw you off JSA because a course tutor won't give you a place. They can't. Who told you they could?7
The Jobcentre themselves. Anything classed as mandatory and not voluntary is met with sanctions if you fail to attend or stay on the course.
My business course is voluntary but I turn up every week.
Yet, the business course means that I'm exempt from looking for work in the meanwhile because I'm supposed to put all my resources into business planning, and yet this course now states that I must find a job so that they can tick me off their box.
LOL LOL LOL LOL shoot me "
Ah. I thought the JC had put you on Business course.Hate to say it but they have you by the you know whats.It sucks and it is about time the JC staff and unions also kicked up about this ridiculous state fof affairs.They won't though because a/ they want a quiet life and b/ they don't care.
Sorry ot hear all this. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ah. I thought the JC had put you on Business course.Hate to say it but they have you by the you know whats.It sucks and it is about time the JC staff and unions also kicked up about this ridiculous state fof affairs.They won't though because a/ they want a quiet life and b/ they don't care.
Sorry ot hear all this."
They had lol I'm doing two courses because I'm deadly serious about getting work I want to do and can dedicate myself to (and a backup plan because everyone needs one).
I feel sorry for the JC staff a lot of the time. I sign on at the office I worked at 9 years ago so I got a clue not only as to how their hard work with the union has led to nothing and how they've become so departmentalised that they no longer have any control over the quality of service the DWP delivers on a wide scale.
My biggest hatchet to bury is that with all this incompetence, I know I could do so much better and yet I've been passed off as a nobody most of my life.
It's hard trying to remind yourself every day that you're a fucking genius in comparison. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"how do they determine who is too intelligent to need help with finding employment ?"
Employability assessment test on the computer and then they make you fill in about a tree-trunk's worth of paperwork asking you about your strengths and weaknesses and what you feel you need help with or are not as competent as you would like to be etc.
Real childish stuff to make you feel like you're back in school and have no dignity. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've been unemployed for 2 years. I'm not entitled to JSA so I don't have the support to help me find work. I apply and either get a thanks but no thanks or I get an interview and then I end up unsuccessful.
It is so frustrating and I can understand yours, OP. The job situation is tough for a lot of people at the moment. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've been unemployed for 2 years. I'm not entitled to JSA so I don't have the support to help me find work. I apply and either get a thanks but no thanks or I get an interview and then I end up unsuccessful.
It is so frustrating and I can understand yours, OP. The job situation is tough for a lot of people at the moment. "
I've been unemployed nearly the same amount of time but because they and ATOS screwed me, I refused to sign on until spring this year out of distrust.
I'm really sorry, I hope you get something soon. If you have a car, go to the charity shops, buy a few cheap useful bits (usually everything's £1) people would buy, and do a car boot sale to quadruple the worth of your goods. It puts some money on the table, that's what I did but with yard sales in the summer. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You'll get the dole and the opportunity to do two courses (employability and food hygiene) eventually once it is all sorted out... and guess what you're not paying for it!!!
Really don't think you should be complaining! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You'll get the dole and the opportunity to do two courses (employability and food hygiene) eventually once it is all sorted out... and guess what you're not paying for it!!!
Really don't think you should be complaining!"
I should be complaining, yes, because I've been asking for this for six months, knowing that as soon as i was done, I would be in a job and paying my dues back to society which I have tried my hardest to since I originally left college in 1999.
So when I finally do get the chance, it endangers the possibility of both courses being a success, and being a total waste of money when they could have just put me straight on the Food hygiene course.
Do you think I'm complaining because maybe I lack the dedication, and do you not think I'm complaining because I have to come across as incompetent to get a fair opportunity to step up to the plate?
Complaining because its a fucking joke!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Who do you think I meant when I mentioned mongoloids?
Irrelevant who you intended it to be aimed at really
Maybe so"
I can see why you're pissed off though, just think it was a bit insensitive that's all |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Who do you think I meant when I mentioned mongoloids?
Irrelevant who you intended it to be aimed at really
Maybe so
I can see why you're pissed off though, just think it was a bit insensitive that's all "
I apologise for being insensitive, really, sorry. But I will offend again, because better out than in, and I dont think Facebook can handle me right now lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Who do you think I meant when I mentioned mongoloids?
Irrelevant who you intended it to be aimed at really
Maybe so
I can see why you're pissed off though, just think it was a bit insensitive that's all
I apologise for being insensitive, really, sorry. But I will offend again, because better out than in, and I dont think Facebook can handle me right now lol"
Just chose your words wisely you don't wanna end up with a b word! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
It is silly of me to expect people I dont know to understand that I take old slurs associated with people such as faggot and mongoloid and attach them to people that are, in real life, offensive, uncaring, manipulative and cowardly.
I take those words and I make them count and I no longer feel so bad that I can't save the world.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It is silly of me to expect people I dont know to understand that I take old slurs associated with people such as faggot and mongoloid and attach them to people that are, in real life, offensive, uncaring, manipulative and cowardly.
I take those words and I make them count and I no longer feel so bad that I can't save the world.
"
Yeah good luck with that |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Its not right when you want to work and want to get training and you cant I get the frustration big time. I don’t get why people pull people up on certain phrases or words when its the overall expression of frustration thats an issue.
The training issue is mad though if someone is intelligent wants to get off their bum give them the training if they are dedicated to do it and pass it. If the man in charge is that worried over money he could deduct an extra £1 out of each weeks pay when the person gets a job then everyone wins.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" I would be in a job and paying my dues back to society which I have tried my hardest to since I originally left college in 1999.!"
If you've got a college degree and have been looking for a job since 1999, you're not doing it right! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" I would be in a job and paying my dues back to society which I have tried my hardest to since I originally left college in 1999.!
If you've got a college degree and have been looking for a job since 1999, you're not doing it right!"
Add a smiley face on the end to let me know you're not serious. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
They can help people that are serious and yet the serious people are treated like they're taking the piss. My sense of humour is pretty sore after today, my apologies
I have even been told by my advisor there is nothing that they can do for me, unless I do a part time college course which may lose me benefit as they may deem it as stopping me from actively seeking work.
The sage course isn't a free course and they won't fund it, despite the fact that more and more jobs that I could do are asking for sage experience. "
Have you thought of trying to see if an office will take you on a voluntary basis where you help them out for nothing but in return will train you in sage?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I asked the Job Centre for Sage training, and was told that I could have it as 'an incentive', if I first passed a 3-week Microsoft Office 2010 course.
I didn't mind doing the Microsoft course - I could already do MS Office, but at least I got a certificate to PROVE I could do it!
Unfortunately, I then got a job, so I wasn't able to take up my Sage course! But I suppose I shouldn't complain. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I asked the Job Centre for Sage training, and was told that I could have it as 'an incentive', if I first passed a 3-week Microsoft Office 2010 course.
I didn't mind doing the Microsoft course - I could already do MS Office, but at least I got a certificate to PROVE I could do it!
Unfortunately, I then got a job, so I wasn't able to take up my Sage course! But I suppose I shouldn't complain."
Wasn't offered anything like that, I'd do it if it meant doing Sage at the end of it.
These days it's a point blank no though x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Point blank 'no'? That's not what I got, and it is only 3 months ago..... and I had only been out of work for 3 months.
I had to be quite pushy to get it, though - I went to the Careers Advisory Service as well as the Job Centre.
If 'they' say no the first time you ask, it's well worth continuing to ask.
Good luck!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The world has gone crazy with training or the lack of it. They go on about helping people to grow food abroad by training them which is spot on but we won't train our own. It smacks of idiots in charge to me.
OP lots of luck to you you seem to want to do something about your situation so I hope you get some positive help |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
" I would be in a job and paying my dues back to society which I have tried my hardest to since I originally left college in 1999.!
If you've got a college degree and have been looking for a job since 1999, you're not doing it right!"
College could mean A-levels rather than a degree. And there are a lot of graduates that are unemployed at the moment too. And postgrads. And postdocs.
Increase the retirement age and cut pensions without creating more jobs and it's pretty obvious that finding a job will become more difficult. The newly qualified, without any experience, and people trying to return to work after a break are often the hardest hit. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"............
LOL LOL LOL LOL shoot me
That'll be in the 2015 Tory manifesto."
Of course it should be.
Much more humane than suffering in a Labour run hospital.
You see, the Tories are the caring party  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Had my first interview today with my advisor, she was fantastic and really undrstanding, so no work solutions until my health improves and no visits to the job centre for a few months, instead I'll get phone calls.
Was a bit pissed off that I couldn't access the floor she was on, as there was no lifts, so she had to come to me, but it was much better than I thought.
Just got more ATOS medicals to come, which I'm dreading, as the last one was the worst experience ever. No empathy or understanding of my medical conditions. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I know how you feel. When I was signing on my advisor sent my CV to an employer at a warehouse.
Dispite the fact warehouse work was not even in my jobseekers agreement.
I got an interview which was in south molton, about 15 - 20 miles away from Barnstaple.
I rang advisor day before several times to enquire about travel exspenses due to the interview being on a friday and not recieving my benfit till monday. So funds were rediculasly low.
I had no luck with twat of an advisor so I could make it (couldnt borrow money as literally just moved to barnstaple at the time and was abit of a loner lol)
So couldnt make it to the interview. Toldmy advisor and he said "It will have to be put threw to a decision maker"
Turns out I got sanctioned and they wasexexpecting me to walk there which would have taken 5 hours.
I put in a letter of reconsideration and there response was "because I had refused offer of employment"
Arse whipes I tell you..
So glad I dont have to sign on anymore lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I was made redundant 3 years ago. During my 30 day "Garden Leave" I was informed there was a fund set up to help people in my situation get back to work.
I spoke to a friend who was in the same situation and he confirmed they gave him a 100% grant toward funding a course. Armed with this info I contacted JC+ and had it officially confirmed but to contact my "local" JC. They had never heard of the funding and told me, and I quote, " take a run and jump"
I was offered courses in Security, however I worked part time as a door steward and had my SIA. I am a Senior Facities Manager when I go to a security firm with my CV they run for the hills, nearly every firm in the Glasgow area has sent me tenders for work in the past and now they won't employ me.
The reason.....why do you want a 60hr a week jib for £6.50 an hour when you are used to £45k+.
There are no fuckin other jobs
Hard Rock Cafe is opening shortly in Glasgow ......think I will apply for one of the 70 positions...... Yes me and 4,000 other applicants
Applied for a position 2 weeks ago, received an email stating they stopped accepting applications after the first 1,000. Didn't realise we had 1,000 Senior FM's in Scotland
So I can sympathise with the OP on his rant here.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" I would be in a job and paying my dues back to society which I have tried my hardest to since I originally left college in 1999.!
If you've got a college degree and have been looking for a job since 1999, you're not doing it right!
Add a smiley face on the end to let me know you're not serious."
It did come across as though you hadn't had a job since 1999 - presumably that's wrong.
Surprised it can be so hard to get on a food hygiene course. I remember doing one through a Saturday job on the cheese counter at Bejam! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" I would be in a job and paying my dues back to society which I have tried my hardest to since I originally left college in 1999.!
If you've got a college degree and have been looking for a job since 1999, you're not doing it right!
Add a smiley face on the end to let me know you're not serious.
It did come across as though you hadn't had a job since 1999 - presumably that's wrong.
Surprised it can be so hard to get on a food hygiene course. I remember doing one through a Saturday job on the cheese counter at Bejam!"
Sorry to reply late. I havent come across any recent jobs that would offer the training or the certificates etc. but yes its a joke lately.
I've had on average a job a year since 1999 and sometimes two a year. Recently is the longest time I've gone without a job and it's driven me mad.
So I wanted to get the extra training to get into something I knew would last, after a year of not even being offered an interview and then half a year of knockbacks.
It's honesty that ruins my chances, the stigma of not only being unemployed but having succumbed to a bad period of depression and anxiety.
But here I am making the effort. Feels like I'm alone in trying! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The problem you have is being proactive, dedicated and intelligent! Spend all day watching Jeremy Kyle, drink or take illegal drugs,commit crime and have no interest in finding a job and you'll find all kinds of help thrust upon you!
Company I managed went bust in December, Job Centre were less than helpful. A lot of companies are refusing to advertise with Universal Jobmatch because they are having to deal with so many applications from people with none of the required skills, qualifications or experience, just because Job Centre says so!!
I really wish you all the best Gorilla, it's so easy to get depressed and demotivated which causes a vicious cycle when job hunting! Have everything crossed for you xxzz |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The problem you have is being proactive, dedicated and intelligent! Spend all day watching Jeremy Kyle, drink or take illegal drugs,commit crime and have no interest in finding a job and you'll find all kinds of help thrust upon you!
Company I managed went bust in December, Job Centre were less than helpful. A lot of companies are refusing to advertise with Universal Jobmatch because they are having to deal with so many applications from people with none of the required skills, qualifications or experience, just because Job Centre says so!!
I really wish you all the best Gorilla, it's so easy to get depressed and demotivated which causes a vicious cycle when job hunting! Have everything crossed for you xxzz"
Legs and arms as well as fingers and toes??? lol thank you xxox
My brother said practically the same thing today, uncanny, no kidding. He works with labourers of all kinds and said everyone under the age of 25 seems to be a complete idiot and yet you dont get a job if you're not a complete arsehole and bad at your job.
I can't actually fault that statement lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
