FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Controversial ?? Maybe lets discuss...
Controversial ?? Maybe lets discuss...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok so the age old argument of what makes a swinger a swinger ??
This is a discussion so please dont slate me im simply getting others opinions....
For us swinging is about both of us, when we meet its usually with another couple so all enjoy the benefits, if we do meet a single girl/guy then its spur of the moment usually.
I have always thought that swinging is for couples to a degree, with singles being added into the mix as an extra bonus and those singles know the etiquette and are actively involved in the lifestyle.
What has baffled me of late is the amount of single ladies and guys that are on Fab purely to meet the opposite sex ( or same sex ) for NSA fun. Is that swinging really ?? There are plenty of single ladies looking to purely meet single guys only and vice versa with no view to having group sex ( for want of a better phrase ) Again for me thats not swinging ??
Now dont get me wrong each to their own and preference im all for that, but there are plenty of sites where singles can meet for NSA fun, so what drives them to Fab ??
Should Fab perhaps look at filtering this out ?? Leaving true swingers to search for likeminded swingers ?? Or should it truly be a liberated site for all sexual preferences ??
Yes its a double bladed sword lol and i dont want to be slated, but would like to hear peoples views on this ??
So lets have a nice intelligent discussion 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i am a single straight girl, when im looking i am only looking for men.
i am NOT a swinger.
i believe swinging is for couples or people who 'swing' between fancying men and women.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't see a problem with singles being here as long as they are respectful, and the couples can set message filters so they have no contact if they wish.
I just think times have changed, I used to go out every weekend with the intention of getting laid if possible. It's no different to looking for sex on the net. It makes it a lot easier because there's no messiness with chatting up people who have no intention of jumping in the sack.
Fair play to them I say |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
this is going to be a hot potato....
I believe that being a swinger is as much about the "mindset" as it is in the physical activity....
it took easy to say "swinging is for couples" and "singles can't be swingers"... what happens if someone breaks up or get together, do they magically move from one side of the line to the other....... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm me , I'm here for me so I do things to please me. Sometimes that's group , more often than not it's one to one. Don't know what that makes me but I will stick with just being me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"this is going to be a hot potato....
I believe that being a swinger is as much about the "mindset" as it is in the physical activity....
it took easy to say "swinging is for couples" and "singles can't be swingers"... what happens if someone breaks up or get together, do they magically move from one side of the line to the other......."
Lol yeh i know Fabio, hence why i would like a decent discussion about it
Its a double edged sword for sure but im interested to hear peoples thoughts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To answer one of your points "what brings them to fabs"
I think fabs as far as i am aware that allows everyone to join and message each other. All other supposed swinger sites allow you to join to view but want to receive payment to enable you to exchange mails or chats.
Oh and were for meeting others for group fun but do enjoy singles x |
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By *nnyMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
If you filtered out all singles (true OR fake) and consigned them to a separate site , both sites would wither and die very quickly.
Out of no more than curiosity, it'd be interesting to know how many genuine one profile only couples there are on Fab- as well as how many single men and women are actually SINGLE and not part of one of the genuine couples. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm me , I'm here for me so I do things to please me. Sometimes that's group , more often than not it's one to one. Don't know what that makes me but I will stick with just being me. "
Oh and sorry , I came to fab after being on another site which turned out to be more of a sex site than this but at least on here everyone knows what we are here for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just wrote loads and then deleted it...
I'm one of those people who if I havnt got anything nice to say, don't say it.
I'm going to leave this one alone because I'm flabbergasted by one comment already    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok so the age old argument of what makes a swinger a swinger ??
This is a discussion so please dont slate me im simply getting others opinions....
For us swinging is about both of us, when we meet its usually with another couple so all enjoy the benefits, if we do meet a single girl/guy then its spur of the moment usually.
I have always thought that swinging is for couples to a degree, with singles being added into the mix as an extra bonus and those singles know the etiquette and are actively involved in the lifestyle.
What has baffled me of late is the amount of single ladies and guys that are on Fab purely to meet the opposite sex ( or same sex ) for NSA fun. Is that swinging really ?? There are plenty of single ladies looking to purely meet single guys only and vice versa with no view to having group sex ( for want of a better phrase ) Again for me thats not swinging ??
Now dont get me wrong each to their own and preference im all for that, but there are plenty of sites where singles can meet for NSA fun, so what drives them to Fab ??
Should Fab perhaps look at filtering this out ?? Leaving true swingers to search for likeminded swingers ?? Or should it truly be a liberated site for all sexual preferences ??
Yes its a double bladed sword lol and i dont want to be slated, but would like to hear peoples views on this ??
So lets have a nice intelligent discussion
"
I agree completely! As a single, obviously I don't have a partner to swing with, but if I was going to a party or club I would be more into joining a wee orgy rather than sloping off to a room with a significant other. My kink is voyeurism and exhibitionism. But it's rare for me to manage times like this now, so I just use the site for a kind of sex buffet....there for when I want a nibble. But at my heart I will always be a swinger. I miss the community, it seems to be very much dead and gone now! |
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I dont see myself as a swinger, even though and I have met and will meet couples. I am just horny all of the time and like sex, variety and an uncomplicated life
I can see where you are coming from though, there will be plenty of people on here simply taking a chance to get laid, even if that means meeting a couple. But I dont think they should be excluded from being on here, its more a case of them respecting what the scene is about and understanding how different people approach it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Single guys and girls meeting for NSA sex with each other is not swinging in our book either . However when either wants to engage in a threesome it could be , or if they are fb's and want to watch or join in with others in group scenarios that could be too .
As you rightly say , there are plenty of other sites for those wishing to have straight NSA one on one meets , so why fab ?
Some may say why not ?
Fair enough , each to their own and filters do allow for this .
We have been swinging for just over 2 years now , and have enjoyed all sorts if experiences . It's ever evolving and we do enjoy single guys , single girls , group , couples , voyeurism , mild cuckold , exhibitionism etc.....
Fab facilitates all of our desires , and I doubt other sites would do this for us . So we are happy with the way things are , but we can also see that as far as traditional swinging goes it goes way beyond this .
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By *nnyMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
Swapping became swinging when singles realised that not having someone to 'swap' was a bit of a drawback.
Singles, in the early days, were the larger source of revenue so the 'swingers' name became more commonly used. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To answer one of your points "what brings them to fabs"
I think fabs as far as i am aware that allows everyone to join and message each other. All other supposed swinger sites allow you to join to view but want to receive payment to enable you to exchange mails or chats.
Oh and were for meeting others for group fun but do enjoy singles x"
After being ripped off by various "dating" sites, I have returned to fab as it seems to be more honest. But I really don't think it should be classed as a "swinging" site anymore. It works for meeting singles though. |
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"okay... just playing devils advocate...
if a couple is playing with a single.... is it "swinging" for them, but just "sex" for the single?"
...and how would some couples that seem to need Fab to hold their relationship together cope if there were no single bi femmes, single men for gang bangs etc?
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By *nnyMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
" .......
...and how would some couples that seem to need Fab to hold their relationship together cope if there were no single bi femmes, single men for gang bangs etc?
"
Some of them would just have to get a proper job. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've always been of the opinion that singles have a place in the swinging scene - as additional parties to couples fun, participants in group play - and yes - when meeting one to one with others.
The old view of swinging as just being 'wife-swapping' went out with the ark. The variables available when it comes to meeting to fun are endless. Many couples play separately as well as together - do they cease being a swinger if their partner is not present at a meet? Do I cease to be a lowly single guy (joke!) and become a 'true swinger' when doing couples meets, clubs or parties with Fox?
You'll never get agreement got all as to a definition - much like the whole 'degrees of bi' debate. Yes - it could be argued that if two singles of opposite (or even same) sexes are purely looking to meet 1-2-1 then that is merely recreational sex. But what if the meet takes place in a club, at a party or in public for the benefit of voyeurs? Likewise - are the married folk cheating on their partners not swingers but simply cheats? Are the secretly bi 'straight' guys just hedging bets? Are the voyeurs who just watch contributing to the swinging scene? Are the webcam wankers just bored of watching porn?
At the end of the day anyone who chooses to label me in what I do is more than entitled to their opinion. And who I am I to say whether they're right or wrong - after all - it's their opinion?
But at the end of the day the one thing I know is that I don't give a shit! Swinger, single or 'swingle' - I'm happy being me and doing what I do.
And to me - that's all that will ever matter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a single lad I am on here as it offers me a way to experiment and explore in a way that meeting a girl in a bar would not. Everyone on here know the score. I would not call myself a swinger. To me swinging means swapping partners. A single person just has sex no matter if that's with a couple or group or whatever. That's my take on it. |
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" .......
...and how would some couples that seem to need Fab to hold their relationship together cope if there were no single bi femmes, single men for gang bangs etc?
Some of them would just have to get a proper job."
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
It is funny, if this was a fat versus thin thread people would be complaining about insulting the thin people to argue their case and yet it is ok to insult some couples to argue theirs 
To the OP, I always thought swinging was full on swop between couples. When we forst started on this site we were told we were not "proper" swingers because we only play with single men. We are not fussed what people think as long as we are having fun mind
For me though, I agree to single people playing with single people are not swinging as such, but I am sure they are having as much fun anyway |
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"I've always been of the opinion that singles have a place in the swinging scene - as additional parties to couples fun, participants in group play - and yes - when meeting one to one with others.
The old view of swinging as just being 'wife-swapping' went out with the ark. The variables available when it comes to meeting to fun are endless. Many couples play separately as well as together - do they cease being a swinger if their partner is not present at a meet? Do I cease to be a lowly single guy (joke!) and become a 'true swinger' when doing couples meets, clubs or parties with Fox?
You'll never get agreement got all as to a definition - much like the whole 'degrees of bi' debate. Yes - it could be argued that if two singles of opposite (or even same) sexes are purely looking to meet 1-2-1 then that is merely recreational sex. But what if the meet takes place in a club, at a party or in public for the benefit of voyeurs? Likewise - are the married folk cheating on their partners not swingers but simply cheats? Are the secretly bi 'straight' guys just hedging bets? Are the voyeurs who just watch contributing to the swinging scene? Are the webcam wankers just bored of watching porn?
At the end of the day anyone who chooses to label me in what I do is more than entitled to their opinion. And who I am I to say whether they're right or wrong - after all - it's their opinion?
But at the end of the day the one thing I know is that I don't give a shit! Swinger, single or 'swingle' - I'm happy being me and doing what I do.
And to me - that's all that will ever matter. "
*Standing ov-a* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree with the OP I don't class singles only meets as swinging to be honest. I can meet single females for one off meets socially,i don't need a swingers site for that. However to say couples who swap are classed as true swingers only,is a bit off the mark and frankly a bit pretentious. I've been to adult parties/clubs and indulged in group sex,voyeurism and threesomes back in the day. I would class that as being involved in the swinging scene and not vanilla related activity. Surely that classes me as a swinger ? Or maybe my membership has expired lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Some really great posts and comments ! Very constructive rather than the usual bashing etc lol !!
I think Obi kinda hit the nail on the head really and some wise words
As i said in OP each to their own etc and preference is the key word i just find the whole dynamics of it all really interesting
A good testament to Fab is the open minded nature of true swingers ( no offence intended in that phrase ) Those of us that are open minded and accepting of others preferences in this lifestyle are what make swinging and the lifestyle so much fun
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To my mind swinging involves couples, whether they are swapping partners or involving singles in there play. Don't know what that makes the single but I do like Obi's "swingle". Might spearhead a campaign to get it included in the Oxford Dictionary
Fab's main attraction to me is it's free to join, free to message and free to respond . . . . And the forums help to alleviate boredom |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot of singles join the site and end up swinging because they decide they like it.
For me, there's thousands of members on here. I'm not going to meet them all (probably!) so it doesn't matter to me who they are or what they are looking for. I am not in 'the lifestyle'. I may or may not be classed as a 'swinger'.
I'm not bothered about a label for me, I'm just having fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok so the age old argument of what makes a swinger a swinger ??
This is a discussion so please dont slate me im simply getting others opinions....
For us swinging is about both of us, when we meet its usually with another couple so all enjoy the benefits, if we do meet a single girl/guy then its spur of the moment usually.
I have always thought that swinging is for couples to a degree, with singles being added into the mix as an extra bonus and those singles know the etiquette and are actively involved in the lifestyle.
What has baffled me of late is the amount of single ladies and guys that are on Fab purely to meet the opposite sex ( or same sex ) for NSA fun. Is that swinging really ?? There are plenty of single ladies looking to purely meet single guys only and vice versa with no view to having group sex ( for want of a better phrase ) Again for me thats not swinging ??
Now dont get me wrong each to their own and preference im all for that, but there are plenty of sites where singles can meet for NSA fun, so what drives them to Fab ??
Should Fab perhaps look at filtering this out ?? Leaving true swingers to search for likeminded swingers ?? Or should it truly be a liberated site for all sexual preferences ??
Yes its a double bladed sword lol and i dont want to be slated, but would like to hear peoples views on this ??
So lets have a nice intelligent discussion
"
OK a lot of single guys see this kind of site as a easy way to get just sex .....of coarse its not hence the posts moaning about lack of luck ...no reply to messages ......plus this mentality maybe linked to the rise in timewasters .after all there are lots of single guys all competing for a small number of hook ups the odds are half or more will be all talk .so there a fair chance of time wasting happening .
As for single women who knows why there here I guess the same reasons as single guys the difference is there in demand .
Then you have those singles who are not vanilla in there sexuality they can do vanilla but a dark more fetish line is what they need to be whole in there sexual life. so there here looking for a person into the same as them to express there sexuality with .
Personally I think the forums would be very boring indeed with out the variety of outlooks it has but if I was a swinger I could see why you would want the site as only a swinger contact zone for arranging meets  |
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» Add a new message to this topic
). I'll happily attach the 'swinger' label to myself and just as happily accept that others won't and we'll agree to differ 