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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So on the way to the shop, this evening, I witnessed a minor crime. Being an upstanding citizen I, of course, reported it. The apprehension of the Bicycle Thieves is and amusing story but long and I'm too tired to retell it.
So... Cut to 2 hours later and I invite a nice young policeman into my home to take my statement. Halfway through the process I realise my vibrator is in plain view. No way it could be missed. I'm sure I blushed. Found a reason to get up and discretely removed it.
That's my second place vibrator story.
First place has to be when I had (unbeknownst to me) been given one as a gift at Christmas. The giver had kindly put batteries in it for me. At a family Xmas do my dog ripped the pressies apart and jumped up on my mum's lap with it shaking in his mouth. Every family member shot glances at each other till my mum said something about Max and his new doggy toy. We all pretended to accept this as an explanation and moved on.
Anyone else got any embarrassing vibrator/sex toy stories?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"no"
my 11 yr old grandson and his 13 yr old friend came into the living room one evening each holding one of my toys. Both grinning like idiots my grandson said"Nan, what's this?" I was so glad I disinfect them after I use them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"no
my 11 yr old grandson and his 13 yr old friend came into the living room one evening each holding one of my toys. Both grinning like idiots my grandson said"Nan, what's this?" I was so glad I disinfect them after I use them"
Phew... Was starting to think it was only me with inappropriate yet amusing vibrator stories. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"no
my 11 yr old grandson and his 13 yr old friend came into the living room one evening each holding one of my toys. Both grinning like idiots my grandson said"Nan, what's this?" I was so glad I disinfect them after I use them
Phew... Was starting to think it was only me with inappropriate yet amusing vibrator stories. "
No matter how careful you are hiding your sex life someone always catches you out. He went down my handbag for a pen one day and found some condoms. He held them up to his mum and asked why does Nanny have condoms. She said I bought them for my other daughter who has a partner. I never keep anything on my phone because of my grandchildren. Little buggers |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No matter how careful you are hiding your sex life someone always catches you out. He went down my handbag for a pen one day and found some condoms. He held them up to his mum and asked why does Nanny have condoms. She said I bought them for my other daughter who has a partner. I never keep anything on my phone because of my grandchildren. Little buggers"
Kids & pets are great at catching you out! I have far too many stories of this nature. |
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one December, I was watching tv in the lounge with 2 of my teenage cousins.
I thought my 12 year old son and 11 year old cousin were tidying his bedroom when he walked in with a vibraitor.
He came running in shouting "your sick you mum!"
He and my cousin had been rooting under my bed, looking for hidden christmas pressies!
He declared that he knew it was for ladies pleasure as he'd just learned it in school. Said I was sick and too old for such things!
I wasn't embarrassed as I'm quite open with him, nut was gutted he'd found them at such a young age. Good job he had been shown one at school!
Told him that will teach him for rooting about where he shouldn't be. He didn't find ant presents as they were hidden in a cupboard!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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many years ago when I used to sell Ann Summers, there used to be a vibrator in the range that spoke to you and made interesting sex noises. One night as I was setting off to present a party I threw one bag into the back of a taxi while I went back for another. Once I got into the taxi the driver was in hysterics and the vibrator had been 'talking' to him from the back of the taxi |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was fitting a bedroom one day for a young lady. She was ment to clear the room ready for me but I turned up and was still full. I started to move some stuff to make space to work and as I did a box full of toys fell over and they all fell out. She didn't batter an eye but I was so embarresed !!! Didn't know weather to pick them up or move and let her do it lol |
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When I was 19 I split up with a guy i had been seeing for 18 months and had moved in with 6 months previously. When I left it was in a rather dramatic fashion and I didn't get to take much stuff with me (he got violent, shouting and throwing stuff around, I tried to use the phone and he threw that across the room, he hid the keys, he blocked the door).
When I got back to my parents' house, a bit later my older sister went up there to pick up my stuff, mostly clothes books and college things which she stuffed into black bin liners.
My mum decided that I couldn't possibly have been washing my clothes properly whilst I'd been gone and tipped everything out onto the dining room floor to sort into piles for washing. Along with a bag full of socks and underwear was my vibrator, sat on the floor staring at everyone.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We got a new house and didn't have much money so the OH's aunty made us lots of curtains.We showed her and her husband round our new house and took her up to the bedroom to see the prised curtains when there on the floor was a rather big purple vibrator. I'm convinced the aunt didn't see it but the grin on the uncles face just said it all really. I still feel awkward round him 6 years later! |
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