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Most Quotable Comedies Ever
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By *adgod OP Couple
over a year ago
Greensburg |
Monty Pythons Quest for the Holy Grail is my all time favorite.
Spaceballs is a close second for me. Contains my absolute favorite movie quote.
"Now you know why evil will always triumph....because good...is dumb. "
Anyone else have something to offer? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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'At least we got the duck'
'Eddie, what in the name of Greek buggery is the use of a plastic duck?'
'It floats in the bath!'
'But WHY?'
'Its hollow?'
'Tch, I mean WHY THE DUCK?'
'It came free with the telly!'
'Eddie EVERYTHING came free with the telly we were LOOTING! Why didn't you just get a free telly with the telly?'
'BECAUSE IT'D SINK IN THE BATH!'
Bottom, comedy gold  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whats the romans everdone for us eh ".........
" well they built the agueduct!! "....
" ok apart frm the aqueduct, whats the romans done for us? "....
" they built the roads"....
" apart frm the aqueducts, the roads whats the fucking romans done for us"......
" well its alot safer at night".....
" apart frm the aqueduct, the roads and safer at night, whats the fucking romans done for us????
Wankers "  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Brian: Please, please, please listen! I've got one or two things to say.
The Crowd: Tell us! Tell us both of them!
Brian: Look, you've got it all wrong! You don't NEED to follow ME, You don't NEED to follow ANYBODY! You've got to think for your selves! You're ALL individuals!
The Crowd: Yes! We're all individuals!
Brian: You're all different!
The Crowd: Yes, we ARE all different!
Man in crowd: I'm not...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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More Barker genius ...
"Good evening. I am the president of the Loyal Society for the Relief of Suffers from Pismronunciation, for the relief of people who can't say their worms correctly, or who use the wrong worms entirely, so that other people cannot underhand a bird they are spraying. It's just that you open your mouse, and the worms come turbling out in wuck a say that you dick not what you're thugging to be, and it's very distressing." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh woe is me, never again will i gaze upon Englands shores, i will miss her rolling hills, her lush green meadows
......and her playful sheep ..... Baaaa
God it smells like a pair of armoured trousers after the 100 years war in here, BALDRICK....have you been eating dung again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Brian: Please, please, please listen! I've got one or two things to say.
The Crowd: Tell us! Tell us both of them!
Brian: Look, you've got it all wrong! You don't NEED to follow ME, You don't NEED to follow ANYBODY! You've got to think for your selves! You're ALL individuals!
The Crowd: Yes! We're all individuals!
Brian: You're all different!
The Crowd: Yes, we ARE all different!
Man in crowd: I'm not...
"
pmsl xx |
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A bit long, but still my favourite Python sketch.
What's the point of going abroad if you're just another tourist carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their Sunday Mirrors, bomplaining about the tea - 'Oh they don't make it properly here, do they, not like at home' - and stopping at Majorcan bodegas selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamaris and two veg and sitting in their cotton frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh 'cos they 'overdid it on the first day.'
And being herded into endless Hotel Miramars and Bellvueses and Bontinentales with their modern international luxury roomettes and draught Red Barrel and swimming pools full of fat German businessmen pretending they're acrobats forming pyramids and frightening the children and barging into queues and if you're not at your table spot on seven you miss the bowl of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup, the first item on the menu of International Cuisine, and every Thursday night the hotel has a bloody cabaret in the bar, featuring a tiny emaciated dago with nine-inch hips and some bloated fat tart with her hair brylcreemed down and a big arse presenting Flamenco for Foreigners.
And then some adenoidal typists from Birmingham with flabby white legs and diarrhoea trying to pick up hairy bandy-legged wop waiters called Manuel and once a week there's an excursion to the local Roman Ruins to buy cherryade and melted ice cream and bleeding Watney's Red Barrel and one evening you visit the so called typical restaurant with local colour and atmosphere and you sit next to a party from Rhyl who keep singing 'Torremolinos, torremolinos' and complaining about the food - 'It's so greasy here, isn't it?' - and you get cornered by some d*unken greengrocer from Luton with an Instamatic camera and Dr. Scholl sandals and last Tuesday's Daily Express and he drones on and on and on about how Mr. Smith should be running this country and how many languages Enoch Powell can speak and then he throws up over the Cuba Libres.
And sending tinted postcards of places they don't realise they haven't even visited to 'All at number 22, weather wonderful, our room is marked with an 'X'
Food very greasy but we've found a charming little local place hidden away in the back streets....where they serve Watney's Red Barrel and cheese and onion....... Shut up SHUT UP!!!!! |
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Life of Brian and bottom!
Gasman: Hello, I'm the gasman. Can I read your meter?
Richie: Why, hello Mr Gasman!
Eddie: [mouthing] What?
Richie: Hello Mr Gasman!
Gasman: Yes hello, I was wondering...
Eddie: [mouthing] What?
Richie: [shouting] GASMAN! GASMAN! GASMAN!
Gasman: Do you have someone who looks after you? Can I see them please cause I need to read your meter.
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Fawlty towers, and the deaf woman who wants a room with a sea view......
Basil Fawlty...."And what do you expect to see out of a torquay hotel window? The hanging gardens of Babylon, Herds of Wildebeast sweeping majestically accross the plains"
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Only Fools and Horses, to Hull and back, Del boy, uncle albert and rodney lost at sea...
Uncle Albert..."look concorde"
Del boy..."Well, mmm, what?"
Uncle albert..."Up there, concorde"
Del boy...."so?"
Uncle albert...."I'm just saying, concorde"
Del boy..."I don't believe this, i'm gonna kill him, the soppy old git"
Lmao
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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago
Rockford |
"Fawlty towers, and the deaf woman who wants a room with a sea view......
Basil Fawlty...."And what do you expect to see out of a torquay hotel window? The hanging gardens of Babylon, Herds of Wildebeast sweeping majestically accross the plains"
"
Basil.....what breed of dog is that
Lady guest...its a little shih tzu
Basil...it certainly is
love this because I have one |
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"Fawlty towers, and the deaf woman who wants a room with a sea view......
Basil Fawlty...."And what do you expect to see out of a torquay hotel window? The hanging gardens of Babylon, Herds of Wildebeast sweeping majestically accross the plains"
"
Love faulty towers! Can picture him saying it as well. So funny x the funniest one was the talking Moose head!! X |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Has to be be Blackadder.
I have a plan so cunning you could hang a tail on it and call it a weasel.
If you want something doing, kill Baldrick first.
My life is strewn with cowpats from the Devils own satanic herd! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has to be be Blackadder.
I have a plan so cunning you could hang a tail on it and call it a weasel.
If you want something doing, kill Baldrick first.
My life is strewn with cowpats from the Devils own satanic herd!"
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"Phoenix Nights
BRIAN POTTER:
It's a family fun day man, there's kiddies running around. They can't go jumping up and down on a love length."
I got a bloke in t'ospital wit' rubber burns!!
Isn't he a Scottish poet????
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"Fawlty towers, and the deaf woman who wants a room with a sea view......
Basil Fawlty...."And what do you expect to see out of a torquay hotel window? The hanging gardens of Babylon, Herds of Wildebeast sweeping majestically accross the plains"
Love faulty towers! Can picture him saying it as well. So funny x the funniest one was the talking Moose head!! X"
The Moose head one funny as fook, and the one when the car breaks down and Basil gives it a damn good thrashing, lol x |
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By *utmegsMan
over a year ago
Closer than you think |
"Has to be be Blackadder.
My life is strewn with cowpats from the Devils own satanic herd!"
Oh God! Once more Satan vomits on my eiderdown.
Escuse mee Miester.
PS did anyone else find themseves saying "C. Big blue wobbly thing mermaids live in" when Paxman introduced questions about Dr Johnson's Dictionary on University Challenge the other night. |
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