FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Points of view please.

Points of view please.

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I went out a few weekends ago with my partner (genetic female) and we ran into one of her work colleagues, we passed briefly and didnt say more than a few words to eachother then kept each to our own..

This morning she has been told that the whole factory knows that I dress, i'm devastated for her.. I would like to confront said female about mixing business with pleasure and spreading things that are not her business around my partners workplace..

*this is quite calm considering i'm actually fkng fuming..

can i take some peoples opinions before i arrive at their workplace at closing time

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By *edangel_2013Woman over a year ago

southend

Just ignore it, and let it die a death. If you go in all guns blazing, it will always be remembered, and the reasons behind it.

At worse your partner may lose her job, at best the nastiness will continue for a lot longer.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Whenever you leave the house dressed, running into someone who knows you is a risk you take.

However, it is very much not the done thing for someone to bring it out like this, as it is none of their business.

If you go in there like a rocket, it will never die down.

Advice: leave it a few months and then monkey around with the rat's life

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What did you expect? It's what people do. Perfectly normal.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In all honesty if you have met that kind of oppression from a group of people it doesn't matter what you say they won't listen, fear you will come off looking worse in their small minded eyes

But the only person to answer this is your friend its her workplace tell her how you feel and what you want to do, she will tell you if ok or just going to cause her more problems at work

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

She laughed it off to who told her and told him we had a great day (50y/o 6'4" guy. We really did have an amazing day.

She feels really betrayed at work and wrote me saying she's quitting, i told her if she does that it will look as though she is running ashamed from it.

I'm so fucking angry at this busy body mightier than though, how dare she gossip around my partners workplace,, surely she at least deserves being hunted down in her private life to be read the riot act ?

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By *ark Gr8 Teddy BearMan over a year ago

Wigan

Tell people you were going to a stag do and all the men had to dress as women. Who are they going to check with? Personally I think its just sad and petty of them to concern themselves with how you choose to dress. They must have sad little lives of their own.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why go see the female as will cause further embarassment to your friend.

As for you dressing when out good luck but unless you look very convincing you are likely to get comments etc. Not saying its right but part of life.

When i see a tv dressed up in public that do not look to me convincing i accept it personal choice but it does nothing for me.

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By *nnyMan over a year ago

Glasgow

Even in 2013, you can't expect this not to become workplace gossip.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Surely if you wanted to keep it secret you wouldn't have gone out at all?

I am not sure going in all guns blazing will achieve anything. Your wife must support your cross dressing so I am not sure what the problem is.

If her workmates want to talk about it, you won't stop that wether you say anything or not.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Partner not wife sorry

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lol just fucking lol.

You, an aggressive 6'4 male-pseudo-woman are "going to hunt down" a gossipy female in her "private life" and read her the riot act? Sub sections and all i hope.

Good luck with that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I knew i would get good advice,, yes it is unfair that this fkr can't just let people be and before we went out i asked my girl specifically if she was sure and that she knew the risks.

I'm just mortified for her,, Tina i think sitting on it for a few months before the riot act appears is definitely the way, let the smoke blow over while i collate my thoughts.

I don't want to cost my girl her job, i couldn't think of anything worse !

but by standards I still wanna put a skirt on and uppercut this bitch at 4pm

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By *renchbambi xWoman over a year ago

Need to know basis

The only person who is making you angry is YOU. You are allowing a stranger to take over your feelings....why? They are nothing to you or your partner. My grand mother used to tell me...what other people think of you is irrelevant, it is how true to yourself you are that makes you a worthy person!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"She laughed it off to who told her and told him we had a great day (50y/o 6'4" guy. We really did have an amazing day.

She feels really betrayed at work and wrote me saying she's quitting, i told her if she does that it will look as though she is running ashamed from it.

You state on your profile that you're a 'true t-girl and proud'. Yet get upset when people gossip about it. Your partner surely isn't naive enough to think that this person would mention spotting her out and about and with you is she? Oh, as a side bar, would you be reading this lass the riot act dressed in heels and a frock?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Lol just fucking lol.

You, an aggressive 6'4 male-pseudo-woman are "going to hunt down" a gossipy female in her "private life" and read her the riot act? Sub sections and all i hope.

Good luck with that. "

i'm actually 5'10 a size 10 and to be fair she's probably a stone heavier with a case of provocation and discrimination on my edge. not a jury in the land would convict me if i was in a skirt lolol

actually read things before you chip your 2bob in x

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

but by standards I still wanna put a skirt on and uppercut this bitch at 4pm

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its a little bit of gossip and scandal,if she holds her head high as she should,it'll pass soon enough and something else gossipy will occupy peoples minds

She has nothing to be ashamed of after all and after the intial oooooh really? from people I expect not much more will be thought of it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lol just fucking lol.

You, an aggressive 6'4 male-pseudo-woman are "going to hunt down" a gossipy female in her "private life" and read her the riot act? Sub sections and all i hope.

Good luck with that.

i'm actually 5'10 a size 10 and to be fair she's probably a stone heavier with a case of provocation and discrimination on my edge. not a jury in the land would convict me if i was in a skirt lolol

actually read things before you chip your 2bob in x

So, i could slip a frock on and go toe to toe with a lass and it would be ok? Due to fact that we're both in frocks?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"She laughed it off to who told her and told him we had a great day (50y/o 6'4" guy. We really did have an amazing day.

She feels really betrayed at work and wrote me saying she's quitting, i told her if she does that it will look as though she is running ashamed from it.

It's not me that i'm protecting it's her.. that kinda things not on and it's not fair..

If you someone spread around your partners work that they saw you rat out on a swingers site how would you feel ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Lol just fucking lol.

You, an aggressive 6'4 male-pseudo-woman are "going to hunt down" a gossipy female in her "private life" and read her the riot act? Sub sections and all i hope.

Good luck with that.

i'm actually 5'10 a size 10 and to be fair she's probably a stone heavier with a case of provocation and discrimination on my edge. not a jury in the land would convict me if i was in a skirt lolol

actually read things before you chip your 2bob in x

So, i could slip a frock on and go toe to toe with a lass and it would be ok? Due to fact that we're both in frocks?

Do you not think i deserve to say my piece to her ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"She laughed it off to who told her and told him we had a great day (50y/o 6'4" guy. We really did have an amazing day.

She feels really betrayed at work and wrote me saying she's quitting, i told her if she does that it will look as though she is running ashamed from it.

It's not me that i'm protecting it's her.. that kinda things not on and it's not fair..

If you someone spread around your partners work that they saw you rat out on a swingers site how would you feel ?"

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest as they are obviously on the site as well to have seen me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This is coming across really badly because the haters are riling me up..

i'm not gonna start a fist fight with some girl..

but surely i deserve to say my piece?

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

If you someone spread around your partners work that they saw you rat out on a swingers site how would you feel ?"

Sprung ...but then they would have sprung themselves too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Say your piece is one thing but think of impact of your friend not yourself.

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By *renchbambi xWoman over a year ago

Need to know basis

I wish I could DELETE my post now!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This is coming across really badly because the haters are riling me up..

i'm not gonna start a fist fight with some girl..

but surely i deserve to say my piece?"

the haters? lol again.

so what are you gonna uppercut her with? yer falsies?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I wish I could DELETE my post now!

i was actually just writing you privately, i came in here looking for exactly that a few people to say calm down for me.

thankyou for your time and what you said is right x

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"This is coming across really badly because the haters are riling me up..

You asked for opinions, people are giving them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This is coming across really badly because the haters are riling me up..

i'm not gonna start a fist fight with some girl..

but surely i deserve to say my piece?"

I'm sorry. But you asked for opinions in your original post and just because some of us don't agree with you, that doesn't make us 'haters'. If you aren't prepared to accept any differing views from your own, don't ask for opinions on an open forum.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The only person who is making you angry is YOU. You are allowing a stranger to take over your feelings....why? They are nothing to you or your partner. My grand mother used to tell me...what other people think of you is irrelevant, it is how true to yourself you are that makes you a worthy person!

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By *obbygggMan over a year ago

Birmingham

"This is coming across really badly because the haters are riling me up..

You asked for opinions, people are giving them.

"
If you might not like the answer don't ask the question.

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By *quirrelMan over a year ago

East Manchester

What do you hope to achieve?

Your turning up and confronting this nasty person will not change anything, it could make things worse and cause untold damage to your partners relationship with her boss and colleagues.

Your only course of action is to ignore it and it will wither and die, starting to make a fuss would only add fuel to the fire as this individual will move on to someone else to spread tales and malcious gossip.

If anyone asks it would be best to laugh it off and say it was a private bet between you and your partner and tell her to say the same thing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

i prefered tinas to be fair...

and what i was hoping for was a few people to say don't worry about it it will blow over..

some people call it a little community support. (which i did get from some)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How much can you blame 'said female' she may have just told one not run round the company telling everybody,

If she only confided in one, who confided in one, etc etc you can't blame the original lady for it being widespread knowledge

I have to agree with the other comments though, you are responsible for the choices you make and knew the risks when making them, its not an ideal situation but its the world we live in take it on the chin move on and hope it blows over,

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i prefered tinas to be fair...

and what i was hoping for was a few people to say don't worry about it it will blow over..

some people call it a little community support. (which i did get from some)

Well, after you confront said workmate, you'll probably get all the community support you can handle. Usually about 180 hours for assault!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have to say more the o p posts more of a drama queen he seems pardon the pun.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i prefered tinas to be fair...

and what i was hoping for was a few people to say don't worry about it it will blow over..

some people call it a little community support. (which i did get from some)

Well, after you confront said workmate, you'll probably get all the community support you can handle. Usually about 180 hours for assault!"

Hmmmm premeditated assault at that. Could be a stiffer penalty.

Skirt in court = Holloway.

Suit in Court = Strangeways.

Skir

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP I feel for your partner as she has to work in that environment daily and can fully understand why your angry as you just want to protect her....

In an ideal world it would be great of what we did in our private life stayed that way.... Private, but unfortunately it often doesn't, and it seems that your partners work college has took pleasure in telling the whole work force a juicy bit of gossip!!

If I was in this situation although I would want to ask why she felt the need to say what she had seen I would in fact keep quiet and let it pass it over... As it will eventually, they will find someone else to talk about.

So just try and rise above it and support your partner until it does pass over and becomes old news

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By *wingerdelightCouple over a year ago

eastliegh

Leave it and it will all blow over. There will soon be something else for people to gossip about

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i prefered tinas to be fair...

and what i was hoping for was a few people to say don't worry about it it will blow over..

some people call it a little community support. (which i did get from some)

Haha so you turn on the people who didn't answer how you wanted them to,

Your one of them arrogant iam right and everybody else is wrong type of dressers,

the mirror is the location of your problems In my opinion

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

as has been said, if you go out dressed then you run the risk.

lets be honest. a 6'4" masculine 'woman' in real life would get a dogs life while out, because people see difference and prey on it, so you being gossiped about in a workplace is one of the better scenarios.

think about being chased down a dark alley and the shite kicked out of you because you are 'different', and yes, it happens.

workplaces have gossips. its part of life where people congregate.

im almost certain your goodlady has talked about someone elses private life over a cuppa and lunchtime, so now because its yours/hers all hell has broken loose??

leave it til after xmas, then it will be Debbie in accounts who was found with her knickers round her ankles while Adrian from sales did shit with her, so just take it easy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Beginning to think more and more this just another look at me thread.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

i'm 5'10 and a size 10

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Beginning to think more and more this just another look at me thread.

Yep. But, i REALLY want to be a fly on the wall when he turns up in a frock and starts swinging his handbag about the office. I'm sure that would put his partner right at ease.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Beginning to think more and more this just another look at me thread.

Yep. But, i REALLY want to be a fly on the wall when he turns up in a frock and starts swinging his handbag about the office. I'm sure that would put his partner right at ease.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Beginning to think more and more this just another look at me thread.

Yep. But, i REALLY want to be a fly on the wall when he turns up in a frock and starts swinging his handbag about the office. I'm sure that would put his partner right at ease.

Pot noodles flying about like bullets

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By *renchbambi xWoman over a year ago

Need to know basis

"Beginning to think more and more this just another look at me thread.

Yep. But, i REALLY want to be a fly on the wall when he turns up in a frock and starts swinging his handbag about the office. I'm sure that would put his partner right at ease.

Pot noodles flying about like bullets"

Some people stand on their own two feet and face their realities head on...other hide in the shadows of their own shame! IMHO the OP and partner stand in the former!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Beginning to think more and more this just another look at me thread.

Yep. But, i REALLY want to be a fly on the wall when he turns up in a frock and starts swinging his handbag about the office. I'm sure that would put his partner right at ease.

Pot noodles flying about like bullets

Some people stand on their own two feet and face their realities head on...other hide in the shadows of their own shame! IMHO the OP and partner stand in the former!"

Only if the shoes have a 6" heel though!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/09/13 15:40:50]

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By *renchbambi xWoman over a year ago

Need to know basis

"Beginning to think more and more this just another look at me thread.

Yep. But, i REALLY want to be a fly on the wall when he turns up in a frock and starts swinging his handbag about the office. I'm sure that would put his partner right at ease.

Pot noodles flying about like bullets

Some people stand on their own two feet and face their realities head on...other hide in the shadows of their own shame! IMHO the OP and partner stand in the former!

Only if the shoes have a 6" heel though!"

and they are fuck me heels too!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Beginning to think more and more this just another look at me thread.

Yep. But, i REALLY want to be a fly on the wall when he turns up in a frock and starts swinging his handbag about the office. I'm sure that would put his partner right at ease.

Pot noodles flying about like bullets

Some people stand on their own two feet and face their realities head on...other hide in the shadows of their own shame! IMHO the OP and partner stand in the former!

Only if the shoes have a 6" heel though!

and they are fuck me heels too!

Sounds painful.

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By *r Mahogany70Man over a year ago

Leicester

Though I have a certain amount of empathy for you OP I honestly think you're being rather naive.

You made the choice to go out in public dressed as your alter ego with your partner, saw and talked to her colleague and then appear genuinely shocked that you're gossiped about at your partner's work place. Did either of you honestly think this would not happen?

If you had actually asked the colleague to not mention how you were dressed then I could fully understand your anger. However, as you have not said the request was made I'm going to assume it wasn't.

You made the choice to go out in public dressed as you were and now you're going to have to accept the consequences. The gossip will never go away at your partner's factory, even if she left. That type of salacious news is just too good for mere mortals to forget.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Though I have a certain amount of empathy for you OP I honestly think you're being rather naive.

If you had actually asked the colleague to not mention how you were dressed then I could fully understand your anger. However, as you have not said the request was made I'm going to assume it wasn't.

I've never agreed with a mans bum as much as this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What did you expect? It's what people do. Perfectly normal.

Very unfortunate that this is very true.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Every time you go out dressed there is a chance you will be recognised, not a thing you can do about it, except learn, lots of TV's go to a different town, for this very reason, although that isn't a sure thing, since cars were invented. face it like a man, by ignoring comments, messages, emails and rude graffiti, you show you don't care and life goes on!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"She laughed it off to who told her and told him we had a great day (50y/o 6'4" guy. We really did have an amazing day.

She feels really betrayed at work and wrote me saying she's quitting, i told her if she does that it will look as though she is running ashamed from it.

Why if you didn't want people to know your thing you dont co out and about displaying it. One of life's things same as if someone at work finds out you are a swinger you have to laugh it off. Hunting someone down is as bad if not worse in my opinion.

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By *_MariusMan over a year ago

Currently Faraway

"I went out a few weekends ago with my partner (genetic female) and we ran into one of her work colleagues, we passed briefly and didnt say more than a few words to eachother then kept each to our own..

*this is quite calm considering i'm actually fkng fuming..

can i take some peoples opinions before i arrive at their workplace at closing time "

You are better off rising above it and your partner should probably do the same. As long as her work is not at stake, people should gradually start minding their own business again, unless they have incredibly empty lives. If your partner loses one or two friends from work, it means they were never friends...Do what makes you and your partner happy. x

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Ok there is no need for the personal comments about the man.

To the OP...I think you may have a good few answers so I will shut this now before any more bitching.

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