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The secret code of profiles...
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Well if this manages to steer clear of turning into a thread about cheats I’ll be surprised….. I do like surprises!
Anyway… have you ever thought (with your tongue firmly in your cheek) that some common phrases in profiles are actually secret code?
“I’d love someone to show me the ropes”…. Surely they can’t mean how to have sex (well they are only asking for ‘someone’ to show them not ‘a whole bunch of horny feckers’)…. So is it secret code for “I have a bondage fetish and get right horny looking at a nice length of 3 strand polyester”
Have you spotted any?
Please steer clear of all of the obvious meanings to “Discretion Required”… thank you  |
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"Please steer clear of all of the obvious meanings to “Discretion Required”… thank you
Is it that time when I should grab my popcorn and slippers?  "
You kinky b*stard! I know what that is code for!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hmmm good question , i dont know any codes , just say what i mean and assume other people are too . will have to keep an eye on this maybe it will be educational . |
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"Please steer clear of all of the obvious meanings to “Discretion Required”… thank you
Is it that time when I should grab my popcorn and slippers?
You kinky b*stard! I know what that is code for! "
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  It's supposed to be our secret
xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmm code in profiles ??
OK, here goes,
A pronounced brow suggests a Northern European heritage, probably used to heavier workloads in extreme weather perhaps from farming in bad weather, ancestry going right back to almost the "cro-magnon" man.
A larger nose can suggest a Mediteranian family history, classically thought of as a "Roman" nose, perhaps because the characteristic feature noticed when the Roman empire was at its height the ruling classes (Emperors) tended to come from a particular genetic pool blessed with larger noses.
A protruding chin can be attributed to the fact that when properly fed and growing up with sufficient nutrients in the diet humans required less and less robust teeth, this had the effect of reducing the size of teeth required,thus closing the jawline,bringing the chin further forward. Any location where food was plentiful can have the effect of bringing this genetic mutation into a larger precentage of the polulation.
Probably hinting at a Western European lineage in the descent of the particular appearance.
A flatter almost concave face can be present in sub Saharan african genes, but interestingly also in far Eastern genes, perhaps suggesting some commonality in the genepool even from these very diverse geographic locations.
Hope this helps |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please steer clear of all of the obvious meanings to “Discretion Required”… thank you
Is it that time when I should grab my popcorn and slippers?
You kinky b*stard! I know what that is code for! "
I don't. Is it when you place a popcorn near the anus and then whack it as hard as you can with a slipper, driving it into the anal opening?
Do I have a fertile imagination??? |
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"Please steer clear of all of the obvious meanings to “Discretion Required”… thank you
Is it that time when I should grab my popcorn and slippers?
You kinky b*stard! I know what that is code for!
I don't. Is it when you place a popcorn near the anus and then whack it as hard as you can with a slipper, driving it into the anal opening?
Do I have a fertile imagination??? "
that has to be more than a lucky guess! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The most detestable code known to post 40's woman :-
'I love mature women - They know what they want.'
Translation :- I am a sexually incompetent male who has only ever been comfortable in the company of his mother. In fact I wish I'd never left the breast. Any woman under 40 scares me. Not only do they scare me they don't fancy me. I don't think it's my knuckles on the floor they object to. Nor is it my lack of sexual prowess. They just don't like it that I won't commit , buy a wedding dress or show any backbone about anything. I like old women because they are all the same. Gagging and grateful. They will look after me and let me do things do them. In fact they are so desparate for male attention and sex they will jump on me at the slightest sign of flattery. I need old women to use to learn how to get it up and then I can go and try for someone my own age. Plus the old women have their own houses and cost me sod all. I don't really like older women but they are an easy source for sex. Younger women want real babies not adult ones. blah blah blah blah blah |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The most detestable code known to post 40's woman :-
'I love mature women - They know what they want.'
Translation :- I am a sexually incompetent male who has only ever been comfortable in the company of his mother. In fact I wish I'd never left the breast. Any woman under 40 scares me. Not only do they scare me they don't fancy me. I don't think it's my knuckles on the floor they object to. Nor is it my lack of sexual prowess. They just don't like it that I won't commit , buy a wedding dress or show any backbone about anything. I like old women because they are all the same. Gagging and grateful. They will look after me and let me do things do them. In fact they are so desparate for male attention and sex they will jump on me at the slightest sign of flattery. I need old women to use to learn how to get it up and then I can go and try for someone my own age. Plus the old women have their own houses and cost me sod all. I don't really like older women but they are an easy source for sex. Younger women want real babies not adult ones. blah blah blah blah blah "
Fookin hell! I'm glad we have codes now as I'd hate to have to type that fookin lot out everytime I wanted to suckl...er shag a bint. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally i never believe "genuine" who said?, "good in bed" how do they know? Discretion to me means that they have partner at home and are cheating on them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The most detestable code known to post 40's woman :-
'I love mature women - They know what they want.'
Translation :- I am a sexually incompetent male who has only ever been comfortable in the company of his mother. In fact I wish I'd never left the breast. Any woman under 40 scares me. Not only do they scare me they don't fancy me. I don't think it's my knuckles on the floor they object to. Nor is it my lack of sexual prowess. They just don't like it that I won't commit , buy a wedding dress or show any backbone about anything. I like old women because they are all the same. Gagging and grateful. They will look after me and let me do things do them. In fact they are so desparate for male attention and sex they will jump on me at the slightest sign of flattery. I need old women to use to learn how to get it up and then I can go and try for someone my own age. Plus the old women have their own houses and cost me sod all. I don't really like older women but they are an easy source for sex. Younger women want real babies not adult ones. blah blah blah blah blah
Fookin hell! I'm glad we have codes now as I'd hate to have to type that fookin lot out everytime I wanted to suckl...er shag a bint. "
less of the bint - cheeky features |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Age and size is unimportant as it's personality that intrests me"
Is simple desperation and means they would fuck a spider if they knew which leg to lift |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Will answer all messages = fibbers
Genuine = a human being
Not hardened swingers = fussy hardened swingers
Non pushy = submissive
Host parties = I struggle to get meets otherwise
Clean and D&D free = prefers bareback
Just out of a relationship = looking for a quick shag
No timewasters please = idiots
Must be VVVWE = channel tunnel |
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By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
I have to smile at some peoples interpretations of profiles. I think a lot just plagiarise someone else’s profile as it looks good to them and lacks any original content.
The lines that do make me smile are the inclusion of genuine, good in bed Err right no one is going to say other wise so it means bugger all along with the VVWE (prolific dreamer). It’s a bit like reading a bunch of very short poorly assimilated CV’s at times. Also the ones who say I don’t do msn. To me that says they don’t think too quickly in a real time environment.
But hey I am a bloke so thank god for the legs spread akimbo pictures, sod reading we can pic flick lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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PMSL @ "Not hardened swingers = fussy hardened swingers"
Professional =
I like to think I'm a success and I'm looking for someone to help reinforce that opinion. |
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" ... VVWE (prolific dreamer)
"
I once made the mistake (mistake of saying it – not mistake of accuracy) of referring to a guy’s cock as 'average sized'... not in a derogatory way I might add... but he got quite upset.
Then I realised he had VWE written on his profile.
|
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"Hmmm code in profiles ??
OK, here goes,
A pronounced brow suggests a Northern European heritage, probably used to heavier workloads in extreme weather perhaps from farming in bad weather, ancestry going right back to almost the "cro-magnon" man.
A larger nose can suggest a Mediteranian family history, classically thought of as a "Roman" nose, perhaps because the characteristic feature noticed when the Roman empire was at its height the ruling classes (Emperors) tended to come from a particular genetic pool blessed with larger noses.
A protruding chin can be attributed to the fact that when properly fed and growing up with sufficient nutrients in the diet humans required less and less robust teeth, this had the effect of reducing the size of teeth required,thus closing the jawline,bringing the chin further forward. Any location where food was plentiful can have the effect of bringing this genetic mutation into a larger precentage of the polulation.
Probably hinting at a Western European lineage in the descent of the particular appearance.
A flatter almost concave face can be present in sub Saharan african genes, but interestingly also in far Eastern genes, perhaps suggesting some commonality in the genepool even from these very diverse geographic locations.
Hope this helps "
Helped me greatly.....Thanks mate.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Love the thrill and freedom of outdoor sex = I can't accommodate the missus wont let me so its up against the wall behind the bustop.
Seasoned swinger = like being covered in oil and bacon and left to marinate for a couple of hours.
I'm safe because I have had a vasectomy = Im dripping with pus from my untreated std's though
Been here before and had a great time and now Im back for more = I bombed out and nobody would have me cos my last profile was so naff and this zany new attitude is gonna get me laid
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" ... VVWE (prolific dreamer)
I once made the mistake (mistake of saying it – not mistake of accuracy) of referring to a guy’s cock as 'average sized'... not in a derogatory way I might add... but he got quite upset.
Then I realised he had VWE written on his profile.
"
I looked up average penis size and found this:
LifeStyles Condoms has conducted research into the average length and circumference of the erect penis during Spring Break in Cancun and found that the average penis length is 5.877 inches, with the majority ranging between 5.5 inches and 6.3 inches.
The average girth is 4.972 inches, with the majority ranging between 4.7 inches and 5.1 inches.
All I can say is don't go to Cancun during Spring break...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Oh Granny you slay me!
55 but still act and feel 30: mentally inept dreamer who models himself on Hugh Hefner and Peter Stringfellow who believes 20 somethings are their equals as they can't handle women their own age.
Will meet anyone, any where regardless of age, colour, creed, size: I'm so desperate for a shag any hole would be a goal!
Want to be fucked with a strap on: curious but taking baby steps before coming out of the closet.
Had a vasectomy yep will ride bareback!
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