FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What is wrong
What is wrong
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
"There have been a few posts stating that cpl's won't meet with a single guy and a single woman that have hooked up for some 4some fun. What is wrong with this, is it not the same as meeting another cpl???" I don't see anything wrong with it  Except there are likely to be far less issues xx | |||
"There have been a few posts stating that cpl's won't meet with a single guy and a single woman that have hooked up for some 4some fun. What is wrong with this, is it not the same as meeting another cpl???" Nothing wrong with it... but it can be very different to meeting an established genuine couple. I much prefer meeting genuine couples rather than "hooked up just for this" type couples (when I meet them on my own that is). | |||
 | |||
| |||
 .
| |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
 I'm pleased we don't meet anyone who can refer to us as their FB | |||
| |||
"I cringe when I hear the phrase “fuck buddy” what a way to describe someone I'm pleased we don't meet anyone who can refer to us as their FB "Makes me cringe too ....... Got to think of a better one. Fornication Friend ? ha ! Poking Pal ? Humping Homey ? Bugger Bud ? | |||
"Poking Pal?" Get's the vote lol | |||
 | |||
"friend with priveleges????xx "I like that. OK I have a friend with priviledges | |||
"friend with priveleges????xx "Friends with benefits, easily explained if they're unemployed too, lol | |||
"We won't play with FB's, there are established "couples" who aren't actually in a relationship but get together to swing but there is also a big downside to FB's. A lot of the time the so called FB's consist of a guy who has "grabbed" the first woman who will accompany him to a meet. In this situation things are totally different, often the guy doesn't even fancy the girl he is with, he doesn't have the same respect for her that couples have for each other and he doesn't care about her feelings or personal wishes, providing he is getting to play with the other couples female he is happy, if his FB is feeling uncomfortable he doesn't care, if she doesn't feel like playing on the night he doesn't care. This rarely happens with couple in relationships, if one doesn't want to play they are generally speaking happy to both not play. When we play with couples in relationships we know that the guy is concious and caring that his partner is comfortable and happy with what is going on and accordingly understand why we are both feeling the same way about our partners. We accept that by not playing with any FBs we miss some good meets with the right kind of people but we would rather err on the side of caution and avoid the "not so fun" situations that can arise. This is just our view and the solution is simple, avoid us and have fun with those that are happy to play with FB's" Fair point and I understand where you're coming from and I respect your views and feelings on the matter. Having said that I am not in the position for which you have given an example we are genuine friends and respect each other as such. Is it in your case, of the minority spoiling it for the majority AGAIN. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"So by Jeds reckoning a 'couple' in a relationship of say.....three months are better equipped to swing than a woman and her fuck buddy who she has know for two or three years? And Jed, what constitutes a 'couple'? Married?.....Living together? (and for how long)....Not living together?" Hang on, why does he have to defend his view? They CHOOSE not to swing with people who are not in a couple, just as other people ( looking at your profile, including you) CHOOSE their own criteria, why should he /they have to defend this choice? Jed has not criticized fuck buddies in anyway. We too only play with couples, we are sharing something that is very special to us, and choose to share that with people who are doing the same thing, not just two people who happen to shag each other. | |||
| |||
| |||
"We too only play with couples, we are sharing something that is very special to us, and choose to share that with people who are doing the same thing, not just two people who happen to shag each other. " Obviously it depends on the couple however it's really not as shallow as just two people who fuck each other. Should everyone be tarred with that same brush? Not saying it's right or wrong as there are plenty out there who will meet seing partner couples, just don't like it being made out to be something much less meaningful than it is, for come. Just another generalisation I guess. | |||
 | |||
"Just want to know what constitutes a couple, it's a valid question to Jed. Is it someone who has been in a relationship regardless of the time they have been together? Are we saying that unless you live together you are classed as fuck buddies? Is a guy who has been dating a woman for three months entitled to advertise them as a 'couple'? It's a valid point" errrr no it is not relevant, unless your planning to ask us for a meet, which we know your not because you don't meet smokers and we are outside your age criteria. That said I am happy to elaborate on my first post but emphasize that it is our personal view and opinion and not one which we expect anyone else to adopt. I don't care if someone has only been in a relationship for a day, providing they are honest with us, are both happy to start meeting others so early in thier relationship and are truly starting a loving relationship. The difference to us being that they are both going to be thinking about thier partners, pleasure and well being in addition to thier own. As I said some (but not all) fuck buddies don't always make this a priority whereas I am sure most people in relationships will agree that thier partners pleasure or displeasure is at the top of thier agenda. And as I said, we have no doubt that we miss out on some great fun with two people that would be as good as any couple who are in relationships, but we prefer not to take the risk, we have tried it in the past and decided not to do it in the future. | |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
"the ones we have met made us feel let down as they obviously were just there for the notches on the bed. It is a totally different feeling. For those who are happy with that, then fine, we however are rather irritated if a couple turns up and we find out they are another pair of married elsewhere play aways. Not for us I am afraid; when you are looking for a similar couple to you, it makes you feel cheated." I'm sorry you've had such bad experiences with swing couples, we're not all like that honest lol. We're neither looking for bedpost notches or to decieve anyone. It's clear from our profile (and mine for that matter) that we are not attached and that neither of us are 'play aways'. I hope nobody that we meet feels cheated or let down in any way and I would hope that if they did then they would tell us. | |||
"I don't criticise the fuck buddy arrangements that make some couples, but to our mind when a couple such as us, meets such a couple, there are differences, and that can make issues. It doesn't have to, but it can, and we are wary of this and don't personally like it. I say a couple like us because we are a couple in ordinary life too, and have a rapport and personal relationship, not to speak of a family. I don't think it makes much difference how long a couple have been together, but the criteria is that they get together and are together for reasons to do with care, respect, love or courting, whatever, but not purely to be a passport into other couples' bedrooms, like many are. This doesn't preclude swinging singles, as if these get together to make a life, or at least have a go at it, together, then fine. The differences we have found, make for us, some incompatabilities. Some couples we have met are married, but each to someone else, and both are playing away. You only get to know this when you meet them, thinking they are a couple just like we are, but you soon find that they aren't. You can't make friends with them ordinarily because you can't for example, just 'phone them up for a chat, as they both live with other partners and probably only see each other once a week or less. There is absolutely nothing in common with such couples (in our experience), and the ones we have met made us feel let down as they obviously were just there for the notches on the bed. It is a totally different feeling. For those who are happy with that, then fine, we however are rather irritated if a couple turns up and we find out they are another pair of married elsewhere play aways. Not for us I am afraid; when you are looking for a similar couple to you, it makes you feel cheated." I understood your rationale right up to the point of NOTCHES ON THE BEDPOST. I/we are not in it for the notches we are in the scene because I/we enjoy the company of other people who engage in this lifestyle. | |||
| |||
"By committed we mean willing to share the most precious and important thing in our lives,our partners. " sums up how we feel perfectly. | |||
"There have been a few posts stating that cpl's won't meet with a single guy and a single woman that have hooked up for some 4some fun. What is wrong with this, is it not the same as meeting another cpl???" I love it couples saying that because when you get down to it it’s all bollocks. Some of these said couples (note I didn’t say all ) have shall we say not quite the morals they publicly claim to have. Hell some of them will when slyly contact one half of a couple to play with the female on their own.  | |||
"We much prefer to play with long term committed couples similar to ourselves. By committed we mean willing to share the most precious and important thing in our lives,our partners. We just don't feel right meeting FB's who may have only teamed up to increase their chances of a meet. This may not be true in some cases we admit but as has been said earlier,if we miss some potentialy good meets because of our views then so be it. We'd rather have the sort of meets we want once in a while instead of regular meets just for the sake of it. XXXX" And I appreciate what your saying we all have our criteria. I'm not trying to run anybody down. It was just a question for the forum. | |||
"There have been a few posts stating that cpl's won't meet with a single guy and a single woman that have hooked up for some 4some fun. What is wrong with this, is it not the same as meeting another cpl??? I love it couples saying that because when you get down to it it’s all bollocks. Some of these said couples (note I didn’t say all ) have shall we say not quite the morals they publicly claim to have. Hell some of them will when slyly contact one half of a couple to play with the female on their own. "A genuine cpl who play behind their partners backs well to me thats just cheating and I wouldn't condone that at all | |||
"There have been a few posts stating that cpl's won't meet with a single guy and a single woman that have hooked up for some 4some fun. What is wrong with this, is it not the same as meeting another cpl??? I love it couples saying that because when you get down to it it’s all bollocks. Some of these said couples (note I didn’t say all ) have shall we say not quite the morals they publicly claim to have. Hell some of them will when slyly contact one half of a couple to play with the female on their own.
A genuine cpl who play behind their partners backs well to me thats just cheating and I wouldn't condone that at all"Naa a genuine couple who are quite happy to nudge half of a couple to meet on the sly. It happens a lot you know. Sat down at a party a little while back and it was a bit of an eye opener when people got talking i can tell ya. | |||
"I don't criticise the fuck buddy arrangements that make some couples, but to our mind when a couple such as us, meets such a couple, there are differences, and that can make issues. It doesn't have to, but it can, and we are wary of this and don't personally like it. I say a couple like us because we are a couple in ordinary life too, and have a rapport and personal relationship, not to speak of a family. I don't think it makes much difference how long a couple have been together, but the criteria is that they get together and are together for reasons to do with care, respect, love or courting, whatever, but not purely to be a passport into other couples' bedrooms, like many are. This doesn't preclude swinging singles, as if these get together to make a life, or at least have a go at it, together, then fine. The differences we have found, make for us, some incompatabilities. Some couples we have met are married, but each to someone else, and both are playing away. You only get to know this when you meet them, thinking they are a couple just like we are, but you soon find that they aren't. You can't make friends with them ordinarily because you can't for example, just 'phone them up for a chat, as they both live with other partners and probably only see each other once a week or less. There is absolutely nothing in common with such couples (in our experience), and the ones we have met made us feel let down as they obviously were just there for the notches on the bed. It is a totally different feeling. For those who are happy with that, then fine, we however are rather irritated if a couple turns up and we find out they are another pair of married elsewhere play aways. Not for us I am afraid; when you are looking for a similar couple to you, it makes you feel cheated. I understood your rationale right up to the point of NOTCHES ON THE BEDPOST. I/we are not in it for the notches we are in the scene because I/we enjoy the company of other people who engage in this lifestyle." Apologies if the reference to notches was possibly a bad choice of phrase. That is how it felt a few times though. I am quite sure that there are a good many non attached couples who are not like that at all. I think that it is too easy to tar with the same brush from one's experiences, but there may be a greater likelihood nonetheless. | |||
" Hell some of them will when slyly contact one half of a couple to play with the female on their own. "He he he.... daily occurrence, a guy in a 'loving relationship' contacting a single femme without the wife knowing.. I tend to let them know I don't play with married guys, irrespective if they are on here as a couple or here without their wives knowledge.... even us with only 'swing partners' acknowledge and respect the sanctity of marriage or being part of a couple. xxxx | |||
| |||
" Hell some of them will when slyly contact one half of a couple to play with the female on their own.
He he he.... daily occurrence, a guy in a 'loving relationship' contacting a single femme without the wife knowing.. I tend to let them know I don't play with married guys, irrespective if they are on here as a couple or here without their wives knowledge.... even us with only 'swing partners' acknowledge and respect the sanctity of marriage or being part of a couple. xxxx"I have to smile as some of the couples i KNOW about posted on the cheating thread. I Grinned hugely at reading what was typed thinking "How hypocritical" You have to smile at bare front cheek though lol | |||
" And I appreciate what your saying we all have our criteria. I'm not trying to run anybody down. It was just a question for the forum." We understand that,please don't think we were being derogatory towards your style of swinging. We just gave our reasons for not meeting FB's,visa vis the O.P.
XXXX | |||
" Hell some of them will when slyly contact one half of a couple to play with the female on their own.
He he he.... daily occurrence, a guy in a 'loving relationship' contacting a single femme without the wife knowing.. I tend to let them know I don't play with married guys, irrespective if they are on here as a couple or here without their wives knowledge.... even us with only 'swing partners' acknowledge and respect the sanctity of marriage or being part of a couple. xxxx
I have to smile as some of the couples i KNOW about posted on the cheating thread. I Grinned hugely at reading what was typed thinking "How hypocritical" You have to smile at bare front cheek though lol "I know of many married couples who swing independently, both have agreed to that, but I always like them both to contact me to say is it okay if....? It's nice to be polite... and I always give their hubby (or wife) back! | |||
" Hell some of them will when slyly contact one half of a couple to play with the female on their own.
He he he.... daily occurrence, a guy in a 'loving relationship' contacting a single femme without the wife knowing.. I tend to let them know I don't play with married guys, irrespective if they are on here as a couple or here without their wives knowledge.... even us with only 'swing partners' acknowledge and respect the sanctity of marriage or being part of a couple. xxxx
I have to smile as some of the couples i KNOW about posted on the cheating thread. I Grinned hugely at reading what was typed thinking "How hypocritical" You have to smile at bare front cheek though lol
I know of many married couples who swing independently, both have agreed to that, but I always like them both to contact me to say is it okay if....?
It's nice to be polite... and I always give their hubby (or wife) back! "Again this comes down to mindset and whateach indivdual/cpl is happy with. So long as everyone is happy with the state of play, as it were, then I can't see a problem. WOW I didn't realise this would be such an emotive subject. Thx to all that have contributed. | |||
" Hell some of them will when slyly contact one half of a couple to play with the female on their own.
He he he.... daily occurrence, a guy in a 'loving relationship' contacting a single femme without the wife knowing.. I tend to let them know I don't play with married guys, irrespective if they are on here as a couple or here without their wives knowledge.... even us with only 'swing partners' acknowledge and respect the sanctity of marriage or being part of a couple. xxxx
I have to smile as some of the couples i KNOW about posted on the cheating thread. I Grinned hugely at reading what was typed thinking "How hypocritical" You have to smile at bare front cheek though lol
I know of many married couples who swing independently, both have agreed to that, but I always like them both to contact me to say is it okay if....?
It's nice to be polite... and I always give their hubby (or wife) back! "Yep me too and they are great as they are open and honest with all people involved. Guess there is all sorts about some honest and a pleasure to know and some....Well not so lol | |||
| |||
"sorry is this about the morals of some couples or why people will or will not play with FB's. I am getting confused" Nope! just supposition and conjecture on my part, like much of your post too xxx | |||
"sorry is this about the morals of some couples or why people will or will not play with FB's. I am getting confused" No don't think so. Just an open and honest debate as far as I can see | |||
