FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How do you know if you're bi?
How do you know if you're bi?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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There is another thread running at the moment and posters have said that being bi gives them the "best of both worlds", or it "makes the playground bigger".
I can see the reasoning behind those comments, but how do you know you are bi? Are you born with the instinct to play with someone of the same sex? At what point do you decide to "try it"? Is it something you do during your sexual awakening teenage years?
I've seen loads of ladies kissing, carressing, and invloved in oral play, but I've never seen the same scenario involving guys.
This might be a daft question but do guys kiss each other?
Before the snide comments come this way, and as our profile, I am straight, and not about to come out, lol, but I wanted to offer the question for debate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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first time i tried it was when I was 15, been drinking and ended up fooling around with a mate, basically gave each other a BJ, i enjoyed the experience and thus expanded my own experiences from there, in terms of kissing another guy, there has to be attraction more than anything else, good dental hygiene and preferably not just put out a ciggy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well for me i lived with another girl in denmark for a few years and one night, after never even thinking about it, we ended up in bed together, now i love sex with either.
andys story as he told me was he was in a fmm situation and ended up with a cock in his mouth and liked it, he doesnt find guys attractive but loves playing with cocks.
hope thats an answer |
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i think i knew myself for sure when i realised I would definitely meet a woman alone rather than just as part of a couple ..and that rather than thinking that is was an interesting part of playing with a couple,it became something I really enjoyed and knew i'd find it very difficult to meet a couple with a straight female ( im a homing pigeon for a nice pair of boobs for a start ! )
I've always enjoyed the sight of the female form but didnt associate it with any real sexual feelings for many many years ..but once i took that step ( in my mid 30's ) there has been no going back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Generally folks start out curious, they think they might like it, they try it and then they decide. I personally see sex as something fun that feels good. I firmly believe that society infringes upon humanity's right to freedom of expression in whatever form. If it wasn't for same, people wouldn't worry or think it's wrong or yukky to engage in same sex activity because no would have suggested it was. Admiration, is a form of attraction, as is inspiration. There is nothing more horny than a truly talented person, such as a great singer, great guitarist, great ... well you get the message. I am attracted to good musicians, big style and it doesn't matter whether they are male or female. Pink for instance, is so amazing, her lyrics are inspirational. I fancy the pants off her!!!
Don't know if that was well explained, but the main thing is, I know what I meant  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've been involved in group sessions and on loads of occaisions have had a cock, and cocks, in close proximity to me, but I've never had the urge to put it my mouth, or to even touch it.
Is it a state of mind? Do you do it instinctively? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been involved in group sessions and on loads of occaisions have had a cock, and cocks, in close proximity to me, but I've never had the urge to put it my mouth, or to even touch it.
Is it a state of mind? Do you do it instinctively? "
if it feels right at the time, I did it in a MMF with my wife, the guy was straight (or so he said anyway), he didnt seem to mind me sucking him off while my mrs was sat on his face  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been involved in group sessions and on loads of occaisions have had a cock, and cocks, in close proximity to me, but I've never had the urge to put it my mouth, or to even touch it.
Is it a state of mind? Do you do it instinctively? "
I believe if you don't do it instinctively, then the attraction isn't there. Same as any sexual encounter, it's instinct that makes you want to snog someone (and generally that's where a sexual encounter starts for me), whatever sex they are. You don't just think to yourself, oh they're offering it up, I'd better do it just coz they're there!
Um, well I don't anyway lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been involved in group sessions and on loads of occaisions have had a cock, and cocks, in close proximity to me, but I've never had the urge to put it my mouth, or to even touch it.
Is it a state of mind? Do you do it instinctively? "
I have been in a situation where a guy has sucked my by then wilting dinkle, was part of one couple of two, as the ladies had mentioned they wanted to explore their bi side we encouraged it (was a teen back then), they said 'ok, only if you two do first', I'm not that bothered I said, stay as we are, the other guy said 'ok, I will do it' and proceeded, now, it didn't turn my stomach or owt, but looking down at a guy doing that to me didn't help to sustain my erection, was soon back though when the ladies took their turn.
So, form that I can only assume I am not Bi, but have no issues with others being so. |
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"I've been involved in group sessions and on loads of occaisions have had a cock, and cocks, in close proximity to me, but I've never had the urge to put it my mouth, or to even touch it.
Is it a state of mind? Do you do it instinctively? "
for me it was instinctive ..what had stopped me exploring it before was lack of opportunity, conditioning and self confidence ..not a lack of attraction or desire. |
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"I've been involved in group sessions and on loads of occaisions have had a cock, and cocks, in close proximity to me, but I've never had the urge to put it my mouth, or to even touch it.
Is it a state of mind? Do you do it instinctively? "
Hi Jack
I see you do like your "Bi" threads 
http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/19278
We're all friends on here you know well, most |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been involved in group sessions and on loads of occaisions have had a cock, and cocks, in close proximity to me, but I've never had the urge to put it my mouth, or to even touch it.
Is it a state of mind? Do you do it instinctively?
Hi Jack
I see you do like your "Bi" threads
http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/19278
We're all friends on here you know well, most "
lol, I noticed that too.
Out with it guy, you wont be judged here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been involved in group sessions and on loads of occaisions have had a cock, and cocks, in close proximity to me, but I've never had the urge to put it my mouth, or to even touch it.
Is it a state of mind? Do you do it instinctively?
Hi Jack
I see you do like your "Bi" threads
http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/19278
We're all friends on here you know well, most "
You have very good instincts  pmsl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i kissed a guy once for a laugh but that was about it . never had any inclination to do anything else . i think your born being bi to be honest . just the way you are like having ginger hair , or being tall etc etc . |
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"I've been involved in group sessions and on loads of occaisions have had a cock, and cocks, in close proximity to me, but I've never had the urge to put it my mouth, or to even touch it.
Is it a state of mind? Do you do it instinctively?
Hi Jack
I see you do like your "Bi" threads
http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/19278
We're all friends on here you know well, most
lol, I noticed that too.
Out with it guy, you wont be judged here. "
We're one big happy family lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just out of interest - how do you know you're NOT bi?
Read my first post on this thread.
Maybe you just haven't met "the one" yet :P x"
Maybe, lol.
I'm not closed enough to say no way I'm too man for that, but from what I have found I am also not open enough to say bring it on, I seriously have no idea what anyone, male or female find attractive about a male, that's how I assume I'm not Bi. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just out of interest - how do you know you're NOT bi?
Read my first post on this thread.
Temptation is the hardest urge to resist "
Very true, and I resisted the temptation of two alluring ladies offering a girly scene, was my mate that couldn't resist, lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just out of interest - how do you know you're NOT bi?
Read my first post on this thread.
Maybe you just haven't met "the one" yet :P x
Maybe, lol.
I'm not closed enough to say no way I'm too man for that, but from what I have found I am also not open enough to say bring it on, I seriously have no idea what anyone, male or female find attractive about a male, that's how I assume I'm not Bi. "
LOL, now you're just being sexist!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just out of interest - how do you know you're NOT bi?
Read my first post on this thread.
Maybe you just haven't met "the one" yet :P x
Maybe, lol.
I'm not closed enough to say no way I'm too man for that, but from what I have found I am also not open enough to say bring it on, I seriously have no idea what anyone, male or female find attractive about a male, that's how I assume I'm not Bi.
LOL, now you're just being sexist!! "
I'll take that, it's the closest to being called sexy I've known for a long time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've been involved in group sessions and on loads of occaisions have had a cock, and cocks, in close proximity to me, but I've never had the urge to put it my mouth, or to even touch it.
Is it a state of mind? Do you do it instinctively?
Hi Jack
I see you do like your "Bi" threads
http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/19278
We're all friends on here you know well, most
lol, I noticed that too.
Out with it guy, you wont be judged here.
We're one big happy family lol "
I post on a lot of threads, but if I recall correctly, my past bi posts have all been made tongue in cheek, lol. This current one is a serious question. I don't doubt my sexuality, and I can take a joke and don't mind the banter.
Kate recently "dipped her toe" so to speak, but is non commital whether she wants to try again. We have discussed it between us, but I would like to explore other peoples thoughts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just out of interest - how do you know you're NOT bi?
Read my first post on this thread.
Maybe you just haven't met "the one" yet :P x
Maybe, lol.
I'm not closed enough to say no way I'm too man for that, but from what I have found I am also not open enough to say bring it on, I seriously have no idea what anyone, male or female find attractive about a male, that's how I assume I'm not Bi.
LOL, now you're just being sexist!!
I'll take that, it's the closest to being called sexy I've known for a long time. "
LMAO!! Made me laugh the most this morning, that one, cheers guv xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just out of interest - how do you know you're NOT bi?
Read my first post on this thread.
Maybe you just haven't met "the one" yet :P x
Maybe, lol.
I'm not closed enough to say no way I'm too man for that, but from what I have found I am also not open enough to say bring it on, I seriously have no idea what anyone, male or female find attractive about a male, that's how I assume I'm not Bi.
LOL, now you're just being sexist!!
I'll take that, it's the closest to being called sexy I've known for a long time.
LMAO!! Made me laugh the most this morning, that one, cheers guv xx"
I was serious that time.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just out of interest - how do you know you're NOT bi?
Read my first post on this thread.
Maybe you just haven't met "the one" yet :P x
Maybe, lol.
I'm not closed enough to say no way I'm too man for that, but from what I have found I am also not open enough to say bring it on, I seriously have no idea what anyone, male or female find attractive about a male, that's how I assume I'm not Bi.
LOL, now you're just being sexist!!
I'll take that, it's the closest to being called sexy I've known for a long time.
LMAO!! Made me laugh the most this morning, that one, cheers guv xx
I was serious that time. "
PMSL! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OK, deep breath,
I have never partaken in a "Bi" thread before but a few replies on this thread and similar ones have prompted me to reply, I fully expect to be ridiculed and pigeonholed as homophobic however I thought I'd put my tuppenceworth in.
At least two straight guys in this thread have mentioned that during a meet the other guy has initiated some form of sexual contact, one "found" a cock in his mouth, the other had a guy suck his cock.
Now assuming everyone was aware the people involved were straight before the meet began and this still went on to happen then this is why I chose to post.
If this happened to me during a meet ( or any other behaviour against my wishes) I would be very very angry indeed. I also have heard jokes, EG "whats the difference between a straight guy and a Bi guy" ~~ about 5 pints, also several Bi guys who have said they prefer straight guys ( who I assume they feel they can "convert" ).
I know there are good and bad everywhere but I feel that these examples are why I feel I could never be fully comfortable in a sexual scenario with a Bi male.
I don't want to offend anyone, I am certain there are 100% genuine trustworty Bi guys out there (just like there are 100% lying deceitful hetro guys out there ).
My reply in here is really a reply to a combination of threads, this one and the "do couples get put off by Bi guys? " type thread, I guess what I'm saying is that perhaps a few bad apples spoil the barrel in every situation.
My opinion is an honest one, and genuinely isn't meant to offend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OK, deep breath,
I have never partaken in a "Bi" thread before but a few replies on this thread and similar ones have prompted me to reply, I fully expect to be ridiculed and pigeonholed as homophobic however I thought I'd put my tuppenceworth in.
At least two straight guys in this thread have mentioned that during a meet the other guy has initiated some form of sexual contact, one "found" a cock in his mouth, the other had a guy suck his cock.
Now assuming everyone was aware the people involved were straight before the meet began and this still went on to happen then this is why I chose to post.
If this happened to me during a meet ( or any other behaviour against my wishes) I would be very very angry indeed. I also have heard jokes, EG "whats the difference between a straight guy and a Bi guy" ~~ about 5 pints, also several Bi guys who have said they prefer straight guys ( who I assume they feel they can "convert" ).
I know there are good and bad everywhere but I feel that these examples are why I feel I could never be fully comfortable in a sexual scenario with a Bi male.
I don't want to offend anyone, I am certain there are 100% genuine trustworty Bi guys out there (just like there are 100% lying deceitful hetro guys out there ).
My reply in here is really a reply to a combination of threads, this one and the "do couples get put off by Bi guys? " type thread, I guess what I'm saying is that perhaps a few bad apples spoil the barrel in every situation.
My opinion is an honest one, and genuinely isn't meant to offend."
Completely valid points - but as you say, that's down to the individual, not whether they're bi or not. Straight/bi/fat/thin/male or female can all take the piss if they're piss-takers.
And no, I'm not trying to start a debate on watersports! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OK, deep breath,
I have never partaken in a "Bi" thread before but a few replies on this thread and similar ones have prompted me to reply, I fully expect to be ridiculed and pigeonholed as homophobic however I thought I'd put my tuppenceworth in.
At least two straight guys in this thread have mentioned that during a meet the other guy has initiated some form of sexual contact, one "found" a cock in his mouth, the other had a guy suck his cock.
Now assuming everyone was aware the people involved were straight before the meet began and this still went on to happen then this is why I chose to post.
If this happened to me during a meet ( or any other behaviour against my wishes) I would be very very angry indeed. I also have heard jokes, EG "whats the difference between a straight guy and a Bi guy" ~~ about 5 pints, also several Bi guys who have said they prefer straight guys ( who I assume they feel they can "convert" ).
I know there are good and bad everywhere but I feel that these examples are why I feel I could never be fully comfortable in a sexual scenario with a Bi male.
I don't want to offend anyone, I am certain there are 100% genuine trustworty Bi guys out there (just like there are 100% lying deceitful hetro guys out there ).
My reply in here is really a reply to a combination of threads, this one and the "do couples get put off by Bi guys? " type thread, I guess what I'm saying is that perhaps a few bad apples spoil the barrel in every situation.
My opinion is an honest one, and genuinely isn't meant to offend."
Not a bad post that Plums, as I mentioned, I had another guy suckle on my dinkle, it wasn't unexpected as we was discussing that, I agree though that IF something I didn't like happened against my wishes then I would too be a little miffed, not just male, but if a female stuck her finger up my arse or started pissing on me, as they're not my thing I wouldn't be too happy, so I don't take your post as homophobic. |
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"At least two straight guys in this thread have mentioned that during a meet the other guy has initiated some form of sexual contact, one "found" a cock in his mouth, the other had a guy suck his cock"
This is NO OFFENCE to anyone, but just because a guy claims to be straight, doesn't actually mean he is, we know from our experience there are many couples on here where the guy claims to be “straight” on his profile have actually taken an interest in us, as the tabloids would say, just because it's printed doesn't mean it's accurate |
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By *zMaleMan
over a year ago
penzance |
"OK, deep breath,
I have never partaken in a "Bi" thread before but a few replies on this thread and similar ones have prompted me to reply, I fully expect to be ridiculed and pigeonholed as homophobic however I thought I'd put my tuppenceworth in.
At least two straight guys in this thread have mentioned that during a meet the other guy has initiated some form of sexual contact, one "found" a cock in his mouth, the other had a guy suck his cock.
Now assuming everyone was aware the people involved were straight before the meet began and this still went on to happen then this is why I chose to post.
If this happened to me during a meet ( or any other behaviour against my wishes) I would be very very angry indeed. I also have heard jokes, EG "whats the difference between a straight guy and a Bi guy" ~~ about 5 pints, also several Bi guys who have said they prefer straight guys ( who I assume they feel they can "convert" ).
I know there are good and bad everywhere but I feel that these examples are why I feel I could never be fully comfortable in a sexual scenario with a Bi male.
I don't want to offend anyone, I am certain there are 100% genuine trustworty Bi guys out there (just like there are 100% lying deceitful hetro guys out there ).
My reply in here is really a reply to a combination of threads, this one and the "do couples get put off by Bi guys? " type thread, I guess what I'm saying is that perhaps a few bad apples spoil the barrel in every situation.
My opinion is an honest one, and genuinely isn't meant to offend."
Hear hear.
I went on my one and only meet with a cpl where the guy said he was bi curious but they were happy with the fact that I was straight. Well the meet took place and I found that he was way past the curious stage. Hence I never meet with any cpl's now that say the male is Bi curious. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At least two straight guys in this thread have mentioned that during a meet the other guy has initiated some form of sexual contact, one "found" a cock in his mouth, the other had a guy suck his cock
This is NO OFFENCE to anyone, but just because a guy claims to be straight, doesn't actually mean he is, we know from our experience there are many couples on here where the guy claims to be “straight” on his profile have actually taken an interest in us, as the tabloids would say, just because it's printed doesn't mean it's accurate "
And it's those guys that can create the problem, example, it's said here so many times that many straight guys aren't as straight as they claim, this can very easily lead to other people assuming the straight guy may not be straight and creating a bad situation.
Just be bloody honest people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At least two straight guys in this thread have mentioned that during a meet the other guy has initiated some form of sexual contact, one "found" a cock in his mouth, the other had a guy suck his cock
This is NO OFFENCE to anyone, but just because a guy claims to be straight, doesn't actually mean he is, we know from our experience there are many couples on here where the guy claims to be “straight” on his profile have actually taken an interest in us, as the tabloids would say, just because it's printed doesn't mean it's accurate
And it's those guys that can create the problem, example, it's said here so many times that many straight guys aren't as straight as they claim, this can very easily lead to other people assuming the straight guy may not be straight and creating a bad situation.
Just be bloody honest people. "
Awe, does that mean I have to be 72 and admit I pinched the pics from a site called liars are us  |
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By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago
north manchester |
Some interesting views here, and some hilarious quips from the usual suspects, ... here's my take:
In answer to the OP, I 'know' I'm bi because I can and do get aroused by the sight of either hetero, lesbian or gay sexual activities. I have had MF MMF, FFM and MM sessions in the past and have enjoyed (the good ones anyway!) them all pretty much equally.
Bi guys don't kiss as much as bi girls, in my experience, for the same reasons that we seem to have these debates... namely that it's more socially acceptable for girls to be bi than it is for men to admit to it, even on a swingers site, and it seems to be hard for blokes to surrender themselves completely to all elements of (bi)sexual activity in case they appear to be gay (for 'gay' read 'weak', 'effeminate' etc) to the rest of the community. I suspect that if the community was able to be completely non-judgemental, you'd find more bi blokes kissing more openly in semi-public situations (clubs etc).
To para-phrase Katy Perry, I've kissed a guy, and I liked it... but only when he was completely up for it too (and had clean teeth, breath etc.. oops, isn't that just the same for kissing a lady? )
Best definition for 'swinging' I've read is 'recreational sex'. Lots of folk, here and elsewhere, enjoy activities that I don't fancy, (watersports, fisting, bukkake, cross dressing, pain and more) but I'm delighted to let them get on with it provided it doesn't harm anyone else.
I would no more try to get it on with an unknowing or unwilling guy than I would try to force my attentions on a woman... the best way to avoid any embarrassment is to TALK about what you want from a meet before debagging and getting stuck in! I'm 'way past the curious stage' too, but I actually have control over my self and am courteous to anyone who allows me/us to share their time and bodies.
M 
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Bi means that you are "bisexual"
That means you would like to do sex with men and women.
To do this it is probably best to be attracted to both men and women but not necessary I suppose.
If you want to know if you are bisexual ask yourself two questions:
1) have I had sex with both men and women (if yes then you are or have been bisexual)
2) do you find men and women attractive and want to sex with them (if yes then you can go ahead and do this and be a rue bisexual)
Simples! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At least two straight guys in this thread have mentioned that during a meet the other guy has initiated some form of sexual contact, one "found" a cock in his mouth, the other had a guy suck his cock
This is NO OFFENCE to anyone, but just because a guy claims to be straight, doesn't actually mean he is, we know from our experience there are many couples on here where the guy claims to be “straight” on his profile have actually taken an interest in us, as the tabloids would say, just because it's printed doesn't mean it's accurate
And it's those guys that can create the problem, example, it's said here so many times that many straight guys aren't as straight as they claim, this can very easily lead to other people assuming the straight guy may not be straight and creating a bad situation.
Just be bloody honest people.
Awe, does that mean I have to be 72 and admit I pinched the pics from a site called liars are us "
No, that would ruin my fantasy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" i think your born being bi to be honest . just the way you are like having ginger hair , or being tall etc etc . "
I think you're quite wrong there, my friend. As a teen I despised gays/bis with a vengeance and thought they all had a disease that I'd catch if they came anywhere near me. I wasn't ignorant at all and I knew exactly what I could catch sexually from either sex. I understood that they were the way they were and that they were happy about it. It was just the thought of another cock near me, or a guy wanting to touch me sexually made want to retch, to the point where I would have twatted any guy who tried it on with me. When did it change? Not sure precisely, but I found myself at a swingers party and a woman said she'd find it a huge turn on to watch two guys playing together and it was that that turned me on - the thought of her being so excited by it. So we tried it, me and the other chap present (a confirmed biguy) and that was it. Been bi ever since.
But I would most definately argue against the notion that our sexuality is determined at birth, it isn't, and by counter-arguing that bisexuals are bisexual because they have a predilection to play with people of their own sex but straight people don't is flawed, because isn't everyone straight UNTIL they play with a member of their own sex?
A supposedly straight person can maintain that identity his or her entire life and be regarded as straight, but they aren't, or are they?
Nobody truly knows until they veer off the straight path into the world of bisexuality.
I tend to think of it more as though we're like a blank canvass when we're born and we could go either way if conditioned to do so. My formative years were spent around butch men who would think nothing of 'queer-bashing' if a 'poof' encroached upon their corner of their macho world, what those same men would make of me now is anyone's guess.
I think it's totally different where effemininty is concerned as I've never felt the urge to dress as a woman, raise my voice a couple of octaves and chat about cosmetics, but I understand that other men do need to do that, and I understand that not all CDs/TVs are gay or even bi (although it must make finding an understanding woman that much more difficult lol) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me, it first became a issue while watching a porno where, unexpectedly, the two guys started fondling each other. It didn't 'turn me off' as it were, so I decided I’d see what it was like, and ended up enjoying the experience.
However, I don't look at Guys and find them attractive in the street as such, which I suppose is paradoxical to an extent. If I’m in the mood for some Bi fun I'll look at the pics of bodies and go from there. I cannot envisage ever wanting to live with another Guy as a couple either.
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Hmm, some interesting replies here.
For me it was in integral part of becoming a fully-fledged transvestite. I started being turned on by the idea of wearing lingerie around puberty, as i travelled down the road of dressing and wearing make-up then dressing fully i found i was increasingly turned on by the idea of being 'taken' as a woman. I used to go to a TV dressing service in Manchester and eventually ended up playing with other TV's there. I started going out in the Gay Village when dressed and had some great nights out. I got into the fetish scene as well so it was almost a 'natural' progression for me.
Strangely enough, i don't find men sexually attractive in my male mode although i do find TV's attractive. However, when i'm dressed i want to have sex with men and other TV's as well as with my partner - go figure! |
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