 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Hello all I'm hoping that maybe someone maybe able to help me. My best mate has asked me to as the post suggests be his best man dont sound like a problem so far . Well the girl he is set to wed left him years back after running up debt in his name among other things and me and his other mates spent years helping him get back on his feet they meet up recently and have set a wedding date in 18 months time. now he says he loves her and it will work out between them and I hope it does for him. but in all good concious I can't be his best man I don't approve of her and think that she will just do what she did before but how do I tell my mate that I can't be his best man with out hurting or upsetting the 'happy couple' |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hello all I'm hoping that maybe someone maybe able to help me. My best mate has asked me to as the post suggests be his best man dont sound like a problem so far . Well the girl he is set to wed left him years back after running up debt in his name among other things and me and his other mates spent years helping him get back on his feet they meet up recently and have set a wedding date in 18 months time. now he says he loves her and it will work out between them and I hope it does for him. but in all good concious I can't be his best man I don't approve of her and think that she will just do what she did before but how do I tell my mate that I can't be his best man with out hurting or upsetting the 'happy couple'"
You have to be up front and honest with him and tell him that as much as you value his friendship you cannot condone his marrying her |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Totally agree with what you are saying but being a mate isn't about directing someone's decisions but being there when they go wrong
If you refuse then you could be creating a barrier between you
I would as iam sure you have make him aware of your position but if he is set on doing it then sometimes we have to grit our teeth and run with it
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I agree, I think you should just be honest! My ex declined being a 'Godfather' to his nephews son because he didn't agree with the relationship, he was honest about his reason, and whilst his nephew sulked for a while, he soon came round, and guess what? The couple have since split up! So, there you go x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello all I'm hoping that maybe someone maybe able to help me. My best mate has asked me to as the post suggests be his best man dont sound like a problem so far . Well the girl he is set to wed left him years back after running up debt in his name among other things and me and his other mates spent years helping him get back on his feet they meet up recently and have set a wedding date in 18 months time. now he says he loves her and it will work out between them and I hope it does for him. but in all good concious I can't be his best man I don't approve of her and think that she will just do what she did before but how do I tell my mate that I can't be his best man with out hurting or upsetting the 'happy couple'"
Be there for him, like you have been already. Tell him your not happy that he is involved with her again BUT you'll be prepared to be there for "him" on his day.
It may not come to the wedding day.. but dont lose a good friend because of your opinion of her.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i was in same situation when best mate asked me to be her matron of honour ...told her of my concerns and i agreed to be there for her as my mate first and foremost ....didnt get on with him for years until i had a family tragedy and it was him that was my major support ....people can change...i say to you think how much you value his friendship and would you be prepared to lose it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think you are putting the cart before the horse.
If they can last 18 months together, maybe she has changed, but I don't see them lasting that long, so problem solved.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
