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fifty shades of grey alternative
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FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view) you have to read it in the style of pam ayres
The missus bought a Paperback,
Down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominator!!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
And stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can tell no more;
Ofwhat occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey. |
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"FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view) you have to read it in the style of pam ayres
The missus bought a Paperback,
Down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominator!!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
And stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can tell no more;
Ofwhat occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey."
Haha!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Blimey not been posted on here for all of four weeks:
http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/ireland/191726
oh dear oh dear excuse me for not reading Irelands threads from 4 weeks ago tut tut"
I know, get your shit together before wasting out time. Sheesh!  |
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"Blimey not been posted on here for all of four weeks:
http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/ireland/191726
oh dear oh dear excuse me for not reading Irelands threads from 4 weeks ago tut tut"
You only have to put 'Grey' into forum search and it has 35+ results.. but hey if it tickles your fancy...it gets tedious  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Blimey not been posted on here for all of four weeks:
http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/ireland/191726
oh dear oh dear excuse me for not reading Irelands threads from 4 weeks ago tut tut"
Lol dope! Still made me laugh though!  |
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"Blimey not been posted on here for all of four weeks:
http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/ireland/191726
oh dear oh dear excuse me for not reading Irelands threads from 4 weeks ago tut tut
You only have to put 'Grey' into forum search and it has 35+ results.. but hey if it tickles your fancy...it gets tedious "
not as tedious as going to the trouble of looking up the thread and going to the trouble of copy and pasting a link 
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Blimey not been posted on here for all of four weeks:
http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/ireland/191726
oh dear oh dear excuse me for not reading Irelands threads from 4 weeks ago tut tut
You only have to put 'Grey' into forum search and it has 35+ results.. but hey if it tickles your fancy...it gets tedious
not as tedious as going to the trouble of looking up the thread and going to the trouble of copy and pasting a link
"
 |
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"Blimey not been posted on here for all of four weeks:
http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/ireland/191726
oh dear oh dear excuse me for not reading Irelands threads from 4 weeks ago tut tut
You only have to put 'Grey' into forum search and it has 35+ results.. but hey if it tickles your fancy...it gets tedious
not as tedious as going to the trouble of looking up the thread and going to the trouble of copy and pasting a link
"
Just as tedious as you copying and pasting the original post that's been put in the forums umpteen times but that was the latest example. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Blimey not been posted on here for all of four weeks:
http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/ireland/191726
oh dear oh dear excuse me for not reading Irelands threads from 4 weeks ago tut tut
You only have to put 'Grey' into forum search and it has 35+ results.. but hey if it tickles your fancy...it gets tedious
not as tedious as going to the trouble of looking up the thread and going to the trouble of copy and pasting a link
"
Now now children
And I dont visit Ireland either - the odd invasion of Canada maybe  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Blimey not been posted on here for all of four weeks:
http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/ireland/191726
oh dear oh dear excuse me for not reading Irelands threads from 4 weeks ago tut tut
You only have to put 'Grey' into forum search and it has 35+ results.. but hey if it tickles your fancy...it gets tedious
not as tedious as going to the trouble of looking up the thread and going to the trouble of copy and pasting a link
Now now children
And I dont visit Ireland either - the odd invasion of Canada maybe "
when someone said the other day you like you've fallen over in the park with ya knickers round your ankles?..
...well to me it looks more like the couch!  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Blimey not been posted on here for all of four weeks:
http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/ireland/191726
oh dear oh dear excuse me for not reading Irelands threads from 4 weeks ago tut tut
You only have to put 'Grey' into forum search and it has 35+ results.. but hey if it tickles your fancy...it gets tedious
not as tedious as going to the trouble of looking up the thread and going to the trouble of copy and pasting a link
Now now children
And I dont visit Ireland either - the odd invasion of Canada maybe
when someone said the other day you like you've fallen over in the park with ya knickers round your ankles?..
...well to me it looks more like the couch! "
Fallen over d*unk bit yes (though i hadn't) not sure a park was mentioned
And its actually a bed   |
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"Blimey not been posted on here for all of four weeks:
http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/ireland/191726
oh dear oh dear excuse me for not reading Irelands threads from 4 weeks ago tut tut
You only have to put 'Grey' into forum search and it has 35+ results.. but hey if it tickles your fancy...it gets tedious
not as tedious as going to the trouble of looking up the thread and going to the trouble of copy and pasting a link
Just as tedious as you copying and pasting the original post that's been put in the forums umpteen times but that was the latest example. "
didn't copy and paste the original post off here so get your facts right
bet your the type of guy who when a child tells you a joke you tell him halfway through you've heard it before rather than let others here it who might enjoy it |
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"Blimey not been posted on here for all of four weeks:
http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/ireland/191726
oh dear oh dear excuse me for not reading Irelands threads from 4 weeks ago tut tut
You only have to put 'Grey' into forum search and it has 35+ results.. but hey if it tickles your fancy...it gets tedious
not as tedious as going to the trouble of looking up the thread and going to the trouble of copy and pasting a link
Just as tedious as you copying and pasting the original post that's been put in the forums umpteen times but that was the latest example.
didn't copy and paste the original post off here so get your facts right
bet your the type of guy who when a child tells you a joke you tell him halfway through you've heard it before rather than let others here it who might enjoy it"
I guess you must have a mental age of ten then? |
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"Blimey not been posted on here for all of four weeks:
http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/ireland/191726
oh dear oh dear excuse me for not reading Irelands threads from 4 weeks ago tut tut
You only have to put 'Grey' into forum search and it has 35+ results.. but hey if it tickles your fancy...it gets tedious
not as tedious as going to the trouble of looking up the thread and going to the trouble of copy and pasting a link
Just as tedious as you copying and pasting the original post that's been put in the forums umpteen times but that was the latest example.
didn't copy and paste the original post off here so get your facts right
bet your the type of guy who when a child tells you a joke you tell him halfway through you've heard it before rather than let others here it who might enjoy it
I guess you must have a mental age of ten then? "
something like that or maybe a little bit younger as I've had to drop to your level to try to understand your point  |
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Just as tedious as you copying and pasting the original post that's been put in the forums umpteen times but that was the latest example.
"didn't copy and paste the original post off here so get your facts right"
Where have I said you've copied and pasted the original post "off here".
My point was that you went to the trouble of copying and pasting the original post from the internet - which has been done many times by other people.  |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
Gator, does it actually matter if it has been posted before? I'm sure The Fab server won't burst at the seams because of it.
Stop picking faults in people's posts ffs. Read ones you do enjoy if it irks you that much. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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@collission look at the sarcasm I got from obifox ....above the woman would ya believe!! FFS! 
I should be throwing my toys out more like lolol!
She got a stiff one from me..message that is! |
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"Gator, does it actually matter if it has been posted before? I'm sure The Fab server won't burst at the seams because of it.
Stop picking faults in people's posts ffs. Read ones you do enjoy if it irks you that much. "
I'm only answering Sam who's dug this thread up again...and who's picking faults in posts? Not you surely? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Blimey not been posted on here for all of four weeks:
http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/ireland/191726
oh dear oh dear excuse me for not reading Irelands threads from 4 weeks ago tut tut
You only have to put 'Grey' into forum search and it has 35+ results.. but hey if it tickles your fancy...it gets tedious
not as tedious as going to the trouble of looking up the thread and going to the trouble of copy and pasting a link
Just as tedious as you copying and pasting the original post that's been put in the forums umpteen times but that was the latest example.
didn't copy and paste the original post off here so get your facts right
bet your the type of guy who when a child tells you a joke you tell him halfway through you've heard it before rather than let others here it who might enjoy it
I guess you must have a mental age of ten then?
something like that or maybe a little bit younger as I've had to drop to your level to try to understand your point "
|
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"@collission look at the sarcasm I got from obifox ....above the woman would ya believe!! FFS!
I should be throwing my toys out more like lolol!
She got a stiff one from me..message that is! "
Not the only stiff thing I've had tonight - so far |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"@collission look at the sarcasm I got from obifox ....above the woman would ya believe!! FFS!
I should be throwing my toys out more like lolol!
She got a stiff one from me..message that is!
Not the only stiff thing I've had tonight - so far"
I always knew you had a broom! |
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