FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Thursday Rant.
Thursday Rant.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I simply cannot believe it's been left to me again to furnish you bunch of cock wombles with a decent rant for a Thursday.
I'm sick to my back teeth with people just putting "someone did this to me today and I didn't like that, rant over!" and believing that is in any way a rant. At best it's a whinge, and in fact it's probably just a gripe. A 5 year old child could probably express their anger, disappointment and frustration at not being allowed a sweetie better than an some adults on here who've just travelled 50 miles to meet a bi-woman who turned out to be a fat guy called Colin.
For example, on this site I fucking hate the word Genuine being used. It doesn't mean what people think it means. People think it means "when added to a profile or message it will ensure I get laid".
IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT! IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING IN RELATION TO A PERSONS INTENTIONS AT ALL. IT'S A MEME LIKE THE SYDNEY UNIVERSITY THING. EVEN BLOODY FAKES ARE GOING TO HAVE IT ON THEIR PROFILE AREN'T THEY YOU MORONS!
So remove it right now and try and think of something creative to write that doesn't make you look like a lobotomised sheep. And don't get me started on people wanting profile advice.
Too late...
How difficult is it to write something interesting about yourselves? We can't help you, we don't know you. Go and ask your mummy to write it for you if you want help...."My Nigel is a lovely boy, when he was little he used to stick Lego men up his bum but don't let that put you off. He tells me he's got a fine penis on him, takes after his uncle Gerald in that department. Unfortunately he still lives with me and his father so we'll have no funny business in this house. But if you want to go courting just make sure he's back by 11pm".
So have a sense of humour, have something to say about yourself and what you like, and hope to find in others. But above all, don't ask for help. You wouldn't do it in a bar prior to chatting someone up. Well I dunno, you might!? Anyway just fucking stop it all of you.
Cue the......"Well you don't have to look at those threads do you blah blah fucking blah". Yes I do. Because they are there to be read, cluttering up the forums with their insanely funny textual diahorrea. People who actually think changing a few words on their drivell with magically end up in a cock/pussy confluence. People like that need their genitals nailed down to stop them hurting themselves.
And that is how you do it people. Buck the fuck up and don't make me come back in here when you post your feeble musings on someone cutting you up in traffic.....Oh and another thing
(Jodie removed by moderator before she explodes) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I simply cannot believe it's been left to me again to furnish you bunch of cock wombles with a decent rant for a Thursday.
I'm sick to my back teeth with people just putting "someone did this to me today and I didn't like that, rant over!" and believing that is in any way a rant. At best it's a whinge, and in fact it's probably just a gripe. A 5 year old child could probably express their anger, disappointment and frustration at not being allowed a sweetie better than an some adults on here who've just travelled 50 miles to meet a bi-woman who turned out to be a fat guy called Colin.
For example, on this site I fucking hate the word Genuine being used. It doesn't mean what people think it means. People think it means "when added to a profile or message it will ensure I get laid".
IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT! IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING IN RELATION TO A PERSONS INTENTIONS AT ALL. IT'S A MEME LIKE THE SYDNEY UNIVERSITY THING. EVEN BLOODY FAKES ARE GOING TO HAVE IT ON THEIR PROFILE AREN'T THEY YOU MORONS!
So remove it right now and try and think of something creative to write that doesn't make you look like a lobotomised sheep. And don't get me started on people wanting profile advice.
Too late...
How difficult is it to write something interesting about yourselves? We can't help you, we don't know you. Go and ask your mummy to write it for you if you want help...."My Nigel is a lovely boy, when he was little he used to stick Lego men up his bum but don't let that put you off. He tells me he's got a fine penis on him, takes after his uncle Gerald in that department. Unfortunately he still lives with me and his father so we'll have no funny business in this house. But if you want to go courting just make sure he's back by 11pm".
So have a sense of humour, have something to say about yourself and what you like, and hope to find in others. But above all, don't ask for help. You wouldn't do it in a bar prior to chatting someone up. Well I dunno, you might!? Anyway just fucking stop it all of you.
Cue the......"Well you don't have to look at those threads do you blah blah fucking blah". Yes I do. Because they are there to be read, cluttering up the forums with their insanely funny textual diahorrea. People who actually think changing a few words on their drivell with magically end up in a cock/pussy confluence. People like that need their genitals nailed down to stop them hurting themselves.
And that is how you do it people. Buck the fuck up and don't make me come back in here when you post your feeble musings on someone cutting you up in traffic.....Oh and another thing
(Jodie removed by moderator before she explodes)"
But whats the weather like?  |
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" a lobotomised sheep. "
If I may just make one tiny tinsy winsy little correction...the above is an Oxymoron!! Jodie Jodie Jodie...you're slacking girl 
Damn this rant is good...it could have been so much more...a Genuine fabsters would have known that from the onset    
Looking forward to the improved one next week! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" a lobotomised sheep.
If I may just make one tiny tinsy winsy little correction...the above is an Oxymoron!! Jodie Jodie Jodie...you're slacking girl
Damn this rant is good...it could have been so much more...a Genuine fabsters would have known that from the onset
Looking forward to the improved one next week!"
Don't kick the hornets nest bambi |
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Cock womble? I don't go grubbing around Wimbledon Common or anywhere!
Anyway, what about timewasters and fakes who put 'genuine' on their profile and timewaste and play mind games? They are genuine. |
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" a lobotomised sheep.
If I may just make one tiny tinsy winsy little correction...the above is an Oxymoron!! Jodie Jodie Jodie...you're slacking girl
Damn this rant is good...it could have been so much more...a Genuine fabsters would have known that from the onset
Looking forward to the improved one next week!
Don't kick the hornets nest bambi "
Yes boss   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" a lobotomised sheep.
If I may just make one tiny tinsy winsy little correction...the above is an Oxymoron!! Jodie Jodie Jodie...you're slacking girl
Damn this rant is good...it could have been so much more...a Genuine fabsters would have known that from the onset
Looking forward to the improved one next week!"
No a lobotomized sheep would be less mentally capable than a regular sheep. So that is correct. And if I have to do that again I better get planning now! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
""cock womble" is, I believe, a euphemism for a man who "swings both ways". I.e he goes underground and overground."
Now that just shows ya...thought I was pretty clued up, but thats a new one on me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" a lobotomised sheep.
If I may just make one tiny tinsy winsy little correction...the above is an Oxymoron!! Jodie Jodie Jodie...you're slacking girl
Damn this rant is good...it could have been so much more...a Genuine fabsters would have known that from the onset
Looking forward to the improved one next week!
Don't kick the hornets nest bambi
Yes boss "
That's what I like to hear! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
""cock womble" is, I believe, a euphemism for a man who "swings both ways". I.e he goes underground and overground.
Now that just shows ya...thought I was pretty clued up, but thats a new one on me "
Actually in this context I prefer the definition: Bunch of fabbing bastards who think it's Minor Moan Thursday and need slapping round the eyeballs with a serious piece of angry prose.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
""cock womble" is, I believe, a euphemism for a man who "swings both ways". I.e he goes underground and overground.
Now that just shows ya...thought I was pretty clued up, but thats a new one on me
Actually in this context I prefer the definition: Bunch of fabbing bastards who think it's Minor Moan Thursday and need slapping round the eyeballs with a serious piece of angry prose.
"
Ha call that serious?
You have nothing on PMS |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""cock womble" is, I believe, a euphemism for a man who "swings both ways". I.e he goes underground and overground."
Ooh I learned something new! Thank you Jodie, you have made me smile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"who turned out to be a fat guy called Colin.
For example, on this site I fucking hate the word Genuine being used.
So have a sense of humour, have something to say about yourself and what you like,
"
Hi I'm Colin, I genuinely like Nachos and hate Heroin I also have no humour...what is humour?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Too much time on your hands.
Get a hobby
Touched a nerve did I?
He wants you to touch his cock. "
As long as he doesn't mind me touching his hoop with the rough bit of a pineapple at the same time... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Too much time on your hands.
Get a hobby
Touched a nerve did I?
He wants you to touch his cock.
As long as he doesn't mind me touching his hoop with the rough bit of a pineapple at the same time..."
Mmm kinky. Love it lol. As long as it enters leaf first I'm good with that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Too much time on your hands.
Get a hobby
Touched a nerve did I?
He wants you to touch his cock.
As long as he doesn't mind me touching his hoop with the rough bit of a pineapple at the same time...
Mmm kinky. Love it lol. As long as it enters leaf first I'm good with that"
Hang on, you think you're living in a democracy where you have the illusion of choice?? You get it rough end first, no lube, until your arsehole looks like the end of an old windsock and you're a gibberring mess at my feet bitch.
Fuckers telling me what they want.......sheesh. |
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By *obbygggMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
To be fair in order for a rant to be a classic it should be followed by "oh fuck this I've had enough" and a punch in the chops of anyone unfortunate enough to be glancing in your direction.Preferably prefaced by "what you fucking looking at?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Too much time on your hands.
Get a hobby
Touched a nerve did I?
He wants you to touch his cock.
As long as he doesn't mind me touching his hoop with the rough bit of a pineapple at the same time...
Mmm kinky. Love it lol. As long as it enters leaf first I'm good with that
Hang on, you think you're living in a democracy where you have the illusion of choice?? You get it rough end first, no lube, until your arsehole looks like the end of an old windsock and you're a gibberring mess at my feet bitch.
Fuckers telling me what they want.......sheesh."
Oh dear. We're not talking pineapple chunks are we?
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I simply cannot believe it's been left to me again to furnish you bunch of cock wombles with a decent rant for a Thursday.
I'm sick to my back teeth with people just putting "someone did this to me today and I didn't like that, rant over!" and believing that is in any way a rant. At best it's a whinge, and in fact it's probably just a gripe. A 5 year old child could probably express their anger, disappointment and frustration at not being allowed a sweetie better than an some adults on here who've just travelled 50 miles to meet a bi-woman who turned out to be a fat guy called Colin.
For example, on this site I fucking hate the word Genuine being used. It doesn't mean what people think it means. People think it means "when added to a profile or message it will ensure I get laid".
IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT! IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING IN RELATION TO A PERSONS INTENTIONS AT ALL. IT'S A MEME LIKE THE SYDNEY UNIVERSITY THING. EVEN BLOODY FAKES ARE GOING TO HAVE IT ON THEIR PROFILE AREN'T THEY YOU MORONS!
So remove it right now and try and think of something creative to write that doesn't make you look like a lobotomised sheep. And don't get me started on people wanting profile advice.
Too late...
How difficult is it to write something interesting about yourselves? We can't help you, we don't know you. Go and ask your mummy to write it for you if you want help...."My Nigel is a lovely boy, when he was little he used to stick Lego men up his bum but don't let that put you off. He tells me he's got a fine penis on him, takes after his uncle Gerald in that department. Unfortunately he still lives with me and his father so we'll have no funny business in this house. But if you want to go courting just make sure he's back by 11pm".
So have a sense of humour, have something to say about yourself and what you like, and hope to find in others. But above all, don't ask for help. You wouldn't do it in a bar prior to chatting someone up. Well I dunno, you might!? Anyway just fucking stop it all of you.
Cue the......"Well you don't have to look at those threads do you blah blah fucking blah". Yes I do. Because they are there to be read, cluttering up the forums with their insanely funny textual diahorrea. People who actually think changing a few words on their drivell with magically end up in a cock/pussy confluence. People like that need their genitals nailed down to stop them hurting themselves.
And that is how you do it people. Buck the fuck up and don't make me come back in here when you post your feeble musings on someone cutting you up in traffic.....Oh and another thing
(Jodie removed by moderator before she explodes)"
Bloody brilliant. Thank you for making me giggle. X
|
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"Too much time on your hands.
Get a hobby
Touched a nerve did I?
He wants you to touch his cock.
As long as he doesn't mind me touching his hoop with the rough bit of a pineapple at the same time...
Mmm kinky. Love it lol. As long as it enters leaf first I'm good with that
Hang on, you think you're living in a democracy where you have the illusion of choice?? You get it rough end first, no lube, until your arsehole looks like the end of an old windsock and you're a gibberring mess at my feet bitch.
Fuckers telling me what they want.......sheesh.
Oh dear. We're not talking pineapple chunks are we?
"
If its the optic nerve and after that treatment...there'll be some crying  |
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""cock womble" is, I believe, a euphemism for a man who "swings both ways". I.e he goes underground and overground.
Now that just shows ya...thought I was pretty clued up, but thats a new one on me "
Likewise!
Jodie, I applaud you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Too much time on your hands.
Get a hobby
Touched a nerve did I?
He wants you to touch his cock.
As long as he doesn't mind me touching his hoop with the rough bit of a pineapple at the same time...
Mmm kinky. Love it lol. As long as it enters leaf first I'm good with that
Hang on, you think you're living in a democracy where you have the illusion of choice?? You get it rough end first, no lube, until your arsehole looks like the end of an old windsock and you're a gibberring mess at my feet bitch.
Fuckers telling me what they want.......sheesh.
Oh dear. We're not talking pineapple chunks are we?
If its the optic nerve and after that treatment...there'll be some crying "
Surely you don't wanna see me cry. Can I use the tears as lube just in case we go for round 2? |
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"Too much time on your hands.
Get a hobby
Touched a nerve did I?
He wants you to touch his cock.
As long as he doesn't mind me touching his hoop with the rough bit of a pineapple at the same time...
Mmm kinky. Love it lol. As long as it enters leaf first I'm good with that
Hang on, you think you're living in a democracy where you have the illusion of choice?? You get it rough end first, no lube, until your arsehole looks like the end of an old windsock and you're a gibberring mess at my feet bitch.
Fuckers telling me what they want.......sheesh.
Oh dear. We're not talking pineapple chunks are we?
If its the optic nerve and after that treatment...there'll be some crying
Surely you don't wanna see me cry. Can I use the tears as lube just in case we go for round 2?"
Course not! I want to see you enjoy yourself...but it is a fact that the longest nerve in the human body is the optic nerve...try and pull a hair from you bum hole and come back to tell me what happened (don't worry, it's French 'thing' bad humour ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Too much time on your hands.
Get a hobby
Touched a nerve did I?
He wants you to touch his cock.
As long as he doesn't mind me touching his hoop with the rough bit of a pineapple at the same time...
Mmm kinky. Love it lol. As long as it enters leaf first I'm good with that
Hang on, you think you're living in a democracy where you have the illusion of choice?? You get it rough end first, no lube, until your arsehole looks like the end of an old windsock and you're a gibberring mess at my feet bitch.
Fuckers telling me what they want.......sheesh.
Oh dear. We're not talking pineapple chunks are we?
If its the optic nerve and after that treatment...there'll be some crying
Surely you don't wanna see me cry. Can I use the tears as lube just in case we go for round 2?
Course not! I want to see you enjoy yourself...but it is a fact that the longest nerve in the human body is the optic nerve...try and pull a hair from you bum hole and come back to tell me what happened (don't worry, it's French 'thing' bad humour )"
Ooo la la |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Too much time on your hands.
Get a hobby
Touched a nerve did I?
He wants you to touch his cock.
As long as he doesn't mind me touching his hoop with the rough bit of a pineapple at the same time...
Mmm kinky. Love it lol. As long as it enters leaf first I'm good with that
Hang on, you think you're living in a democracy where you have the illusion of choice?? You get it rough end first, no lube, until your arsehole looks like the end of an old windsock and you're a gibberring mess at my feet bitch.
Fuckers telling me what they want.......sheesh.
Oh dear. We're not talking pineapple chunks are we?
If its the optic nerve and after that treatment...there'll be some crying
Surely you don't wanna see me cry. Can I use the tears as lube just in case we go for round 2?
Course not! I want to see you enjoy yourself...but it is a fact that the longest nerve in the human body is the optic nerve...try and pull a hair from you bum hole and come back to tell me what happened (don't worry, it's French 'thing' bad humour )"
The French can't have bad humour Bambi, I've seen their Rugby team play .....hilarious ! |
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"Too much time on your hands.
Get a hobby
Touched a nerve did I?
He wants you to touch his cock.
As long as he doesn't mind me touching his hoop with the rough bit of a pineapple at the same time...
Mmm kinky. Love it lol. As long as it enters leaf first I'm good with that
Hang on, you think you're living in a democracy where you have the illusion of choice?? You get it rough end first, no lube, until your arsehole looks like the end of an old windsock and you're a gibberring mess at my feet bitch.
Fuckers telling me what they want.......sheesh.
Oh dear. We're not talking pineapple chunks are we?
If its the optic nerve and after that treatment...there'll be some crying
Surely you don't wanna see me cry. Can I use the tears as lube just in case we go for round 2?
Course not! I want to see you enjoy yourself...but it is a fact that the longest nerve in the human body is the optic nerve...try and pull a hair from you bum hole and come back to tell me what happened (don't worry, it's French 'thing' bad humour )
The French can't have bad humour Bambi, I've seen their Rugby team play .....hilarious ! "
Haha!! I'm with you on that one  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jodie. While you're obviously in a 'typing mood' .............could you give me some advice on my profile please? "
Ive told you before, you might as well delete it and go live in a monastery. You are fundamentally unshaggable.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Jodie. While you're obviously in a 'typing mood' .............could you give me some advice on my profile please?
Ive told you before, you might as well delete it and go live in a monastery. You are fundamentally unshaggable.
"
Awwww thanks!
For a moment I was worried you might say something negative! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jodie I have been missing all day - can u do me a favour please luv and write my profile - ta xxxx "
I'd love to, but I fear even invoking your name will cause my keyboard to break! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Jodie, come clean luv! You're softening us up for your Bumper Xmas compendium entitled "It's beginning to look a lot like Rant-mas" aren't you.....?
Father Teddymas |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jodie, come clean luv! You're softening us up for your Bumper Xmas compendium entitled "It's beginning to look a lot like Rant-mas" aren't you.....?
Father Teddymas u do love trying to get me told off don't u lol "
Darrrrrrrrrrrrling! You do that so well without the slightest assistance from Ole Teddykins......
MwwwwwaaH!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jodie, come clean luv! You're softening us up for your Bumper Xmas compendium entitled "It's beginning to look a lot like Rant-mas" aren't you.....?
Father Teddymas u do love trying to get me told off don't u lol
Darrrrrrrrrrrrling! You do that so well without the slightest assistance from Ole Teddykins......
MwwwwwaaH!
"
True but should I start singing it u would be one of the first to moan lol  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jodie, come clean luv! You're softening us up for your Bumper Xmas compendium entitled "It's beginning to look a lot like Rant-mas" aren't you.....?
Father Teddymas u do love trying to get me told off don't u lol
Darrrrrrrrrrrrling! You do that so well without the slightest assistance from Ole Teddykins......
MwwwwwaaH!
True but should I start singing it u would be one of the first to moan lol "
Hmmmm.....are you by any chance hijacking my rant thread....? I can't see that ending well...... (dons pvc boots, grabs cane and tin helmet) |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Too much time on your hands.
Get a hobby
Touched a nerve did I?
He wants you to touch his cock.
As long as he doesn't mind me touching his hoop with the rough bit of a pineapple at the same time..."
Is that what cock-a-hoop means?
Now for my moan: your OP is not a patch on your last thread on ranting and how to do it. This one lacks a certain amount of disdain. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Too much time on your hands.
Get a hobby
Touched a nerve did I?
He wants you to touch his cock.
As long as he doesn't mind me touching his hoop with the rough bit of a pineapple at the same time...
Is that what cock-a-hoop means?
Now for my moan: your OP is not a patch on your last thread on ranting and how to do it. This one lacks a certain amount of disdain."
Disdain?
Lickety - I've only just perused your spiderman pants!
I now know the true meaning of the word! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Too much time on your hands.
Get a hobby
Touched a nerve did I?
He wants you to touch his cock.
As long as he doesn't mind me touching his hoop with the rough bit of a pineapple at the same time...
Is that what cock-a-hoop means?
Now for my moan: your OP is not a patch on your last thread on ranting and how to do it. This one lacks a certain amount of disdain."
I was trying to empathise with my target audience, make myself seem human and not a bitch robot from hell. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Too much time on your hands.
Get a hobby
Touched a nerve did I?
He wants you to touch his cock.
As long as he doesn't mind me touching his hoop with the rough bit of a pineapple at the same time...
Is that what cock-a-hoop means?
Now for my moan: your OP is not a patch on your last thread on ranting and how to do it. This one lacks a certain amount of disdain.
Disdain?
Lickety - I've only just perused your spiderman pants!
I now know the true meaning of the word! "
It was a whim last week. I haven't worked out what I want as a new image. I'm treating myself with a fair amount of contempt for loading those pictures.
|
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Too much time on your hands.
Get a hobby
Touched a nerve did I?
He wants you to touch his cock.
As long as he doesn't mind me touching his hoop with the rough bit of a pineapple at the same time...
Is that what cock-a-hoop means?
Now for my moan: your OP is not a patch on your last thread on ranting and how to do it. This one lacks a certain amount of disdain.
I was trying to empathise with my target audience, make myself seem human and not a bitch robot from hell. "
Do they deserve your empathy? Hit them hard with a message that slaps them in the face. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Too much time on your hands.
Get a hobby
Touched a nerve did I?
He wants you to touch his cock.
As long as he doesn't mind me touching his hoop with the rough bit of a pineapple at the same time...
Is that what cock-a-hoop means?
Now for my moan: your OP is not a patch on your last thread on ranting and how to do it. This one lacks a certain amount of disdain.
I was trying to empathise with my target audience, make myself seem human and not a bitch robot from hell.
Do they deserve your empathy? Hit them hard with a message that slaps them in the face."
Well when I feel moved to write my next one I shall make it dripping with loathing, contempt and disdain for my readers. Treat them like the worms they are. Crush them under my metaphorical heel. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
Do they deserve your empathy? Hit them hard with a message that slaps them in the face.
Well when I feel moved to write my next one I shall make it dripping with loathing, contempt and disdain for my readers. Treat them like the worms they are. Crush them under my metaphorical heel. "
That's more like it. Now about the cook-a-hoop...? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jodie, come clean luv! You're softening us up for your Bumper Xmas compendium entitled "It's beginning to look a lot like Rant-mas" aren't you.....?
Father Teddymas u do love trying to get me told off don't u lol
Darrrrrrrrrrrrling! You do that so well without the slightest assistance from Ole Teddykins......
MwwwwwaaH!
True but should I start singing it u would be one of the first to moan lol
Hmmmm.....are you by any chance hijacking my rant thread....? I can't see that ending well...... (dons pvc boots, grabs cane and tin helmet)"
It was 'er Miss - honest!!!!!
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Thank you Jodie. Just thank you.
**Shit, can someone help me up please, prostrating myself with a placky hip and sciatic leg is not a good idea** 
