We had a mail earlier from a couple saying "Nice profile, want to chat"
We checked out their profile and though it ticked many boxes we questioned one point with them
Then the reply came back ...
"good point, but everything is negotiable"
And yes this did suprise us as the point in question was not insignificant, which would have very much streched the boundaries of what they, as a couple, had (hopefully) set between themselves..
Would expect couples to discuss changes to those boundaries between themselves - but to "negotiate" with potential meets?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We had a mail earlier from a couple saying "Nice profile, want to chat"
We checked out their profile and though it ticked many boxes we questioned one point with them
Then the reply came back ...
would you really want koffi anann or even worse Ban Ki-moon present during your first meet - just sounds like showing off to us
good point, but everything is negotiable
And yes this did suprise us as the point in question was not insignificant, which would have very much streched the boundaries of what they, as a couple, had (hopefully) set between themselves..
Would expect couples to discuss changes to those boundaries between themselves - but to "negotiate" with potential meets? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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nothing surprises us. We treat profiles as a guide only. We like to meet and form our own opinions. If there was something on the profile that makes us raise an eyebrowe, then yes we would bring it up  |
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"
would you really want koffi anann or even worse Ban Ki-moon present during your first meet - just sounds like showing off to us
"
could be worse ... could be a trades union negotiator for the T&GU lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We get something similar to this today, (twice so far today)
We get mails from people where thier profile says "won't meet smokers" and of course we are smokers.
When we reply pointing this out we almost always get a reply saying something to the effect that this is negotiable, not for us it isn't, meetings are all about fun and we will not meet those that have such strong views on the subject, it makes us feel uncomfortable when we light up in our own home and for us swinging cannot be fun when your feeling uncomfortable before you even start.
The same applies as often with age criteria, I am so often over peoples age limits so we won't meet them for the same reasons as not meeting people who don't want to meet smokers.
We are happy to meet people who don't smokers but whose profile says "will meet smokers" and we have mints and windows in our rooms 
oh oh oh and if they don't tick the "safe sex" box we won't meet them either, I don't care what they do with others but we won't risk it, when we say that we are often told that they are prepared to use condoms with us, well sorry but that means it won't be as much fun for them as they usually have so why bother, and of course condoms can break once in a while so we simply will not take the risk and won't negotiate this one either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess some things are negotiable, depending on what it is, and if either both sides are willing to negotiate or one negotiate to fit the other.
Say like, a Bi guy playing straight for example.
I would say only take profiles as a guide rather than a contract, sometimes people don't know exactly what to put in a profile, and sometimes the profile is adapted over time, I imagine even, things are placed on profiles to put off a particular person. |
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"We get something similar to this today, (twice so far today)
We get mails from people where thier profile says "won't meet smokers" and of course we are smokers.
When we reply pointing this out we almost always get a reply saying something to the effect that this is negotiable, not for us it isn't, meetings are all about fun and we will not meet those that have such strong views on the subject, it makes us feel uncomfortable when we light up in our own home and for us swinging cannot be fun when your feeling uncomfortable before you even start.
The same applies as often with age criteria, I am so often over peoples age limits so we won't meet them for the same reasons as not meeting people who don't want to meet smokers.
We are happy to meet people who don't smokers but whose profile says "will meet smokers" and we have mints and windows in our rooms
oh oh oh and if they don't tick the "safe sex" box we won't meet them either, I don't care what they do with others but we won't risk it, when we say that we are often told that they are prepared to use condoms with us, well sorry but that means it won't be as much fun for them as they usually have so why bother, and of course condoms can break once in a while so we simply will not take the risk and won't negotiate this one either."
Good God Jed.....not the smokers thing again? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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website profiles are so very black and white and it's sometimes best to err on the side of caution however you know that if someone ticked all other boxes then you could overlook or accept something else which is minor on your scale of importance. As long as it's not a higher priority on the other parties list. This is what the prelim chat it all about... scoping out those likes and dislikes, getting to know them better and hopefully being able to meet if all goes well.
For example, on my profile I've ticked 'webcam'. I do have a webcam however I don't really 'cyber' which tends to be a common misconception  Then again, if I got to know you, met you and we continued to play then I could sometimes be tempted to play on cam.... so a bit of a grey area for me but so black and white on my profile |
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"
would you really want koffi anann or even worse Ban Ki-moon present during your first meet - just sounds like showing off to us
could be worse ... could be a trades union negotiator for the T&GU lol"
Or Arthur Scargill!
All out lads, all in lads, all out...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I guess some things are negotiable, depending on what it is, and if either both sides are willing to negotiate or one negotiate to fit the other.
Say like, a Bi guy playing straight for example.
I would say only take profiles as a guide rather than a contract, sometimes people don't know exactly what to put in a profile, and sometimes the profile is adapted over time, I imagine even, things are placed on profiles to put off a particular person."
What he said.
Whilst some things are set in stone adults will generally find the centre ground if they want to, not always but it can normally be achieved. |
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Now thats good negotiation 
