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Have you locked your heart away?
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Femme's "The way to your heart" thread has made me think about all the hearts under lock and key.
Have you locked your heart away? Why? Is it unavailable to everyone or just potential partners? |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
Mine has been well and truly locked away. Never found anyone I trust enough to love. I have cared deeply for people in my life, but never felt the head-over-heels stuff that people describe.
I got married and we wrote our own wedding vows, and I couldn't use the word love in them. (And I wonder why I'm divorced now lol) |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Mine has been well and truly locked away. Never found anyone I trust enough to love. I have cared deeply for people in my life, but never felt the head-over-heels stuff that people describe.
I got married and we wrote our own wedding vows, and I couldn't use the word love in them. (And I wonder why I'm divorced now lol)"
Is the head over heels feeling not available because your heart is locked away or is your heart locked away because you have never felt it? |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"Mine has been well and truly locked away. Never found anyone I trust enough to love. I have cared deeply for people in my life, but never felt the head-over-heels stuff that people describe.
I got married and we wrote our own wedding vows, and I couldn't use the word love in them. (And I wonder why I'm divorced now lol)
Is the head over heels feeling not available because your heart is locked away or is your heart locked away because you have never felt it?"
I think its there because I have some major trust issues. And also, as a much bigger girl (pre losing 17 stone in weight) I never felt I deserved it because I have very low self esteem... however, there may be some movement on this issue with someone I'm seeing now lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Mine is under lock and key , surrounded by poison ivy .... It would take someone truely special to melt it..
Why? Because it has been broken and ripped apart by a man I thought was my soulmate whom I trusted with my life.
|
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Mine has been well and truly locked away. Never found anyone I trust enough to love. I have cared deeply for people in my life, but never felt the head-over-heels stuff that people describe.
I got married and we wrote our own wedding vows, and I couldn't use the word love in them. (And I wonder why I'm divorced now lol)
Is the head over heels feeling not available because your heart is locked away or is your heart locked away because you have never felt it?
I think its there because I have some major trust issues. And also, as a much bigger girl (pre losing 17 stone in weight) I never felt I deserved it because I have very low self esteem... however, there may be some movement on this issue with someone I'm seeing now lol"
Good luck with finding the right key to that lock. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I locked mine away for 10 years..2001 to 2011.
then i let it out and had it broken...so its not totally locked away, but its going to take a while to really open the door to it.
But i am still thinking that if some one came along, hopefully from FAB so as to continue to explore sexually.
to much to ask maybe, lol.
    |
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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
I have only ever unlocked my heart for one special person. It is currently locked but it is willing to unlock again if/when another special person was to come my way. I don't just give it to anyone, you have to be pretty damn special to get the key. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Mine is under lock and key , surrounded by poison ivy .... It would take someone truely special to melt it..
Why? Because it has been broken and ripped apart by a man I thought was my soulmate whom I trusted with my life.
"
Broken hearts do need time to heal and need a bit of protection for that to happen. |
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Mines under lock and key as its still trying to mend after getting broken into a thousand little pieces by a very special someone recently. Saddest thing is I realised he was the first person I ever truly fell in love with despite a 17 year relationship with my ex  |
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Locked away for now, yes. In that i'm focusing on me and looking after number one (life, job, circumstances).
If and when the time is right, i'll let another in. But not before then. I have my whole life ahead of me, so i'm in no rush. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes locked away, the word love was destroyed when I was a child, so cannot feel the love for someone, cannot let someone in hence I am still single. I get lonely so have dated people in the past for that reason only which wasn't really good for me or them so this suits me, don't want love as no such thing. I see old people walking past my office holding hands and would love that but just think it isn't possible for me. Think its also linked to my inability to orgasm as it would mean letting the barrier down and letting someone in, no thanks, much too scary |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I locked mine away for 10 years..2001 to 2011.
then i let it out and had it broken...so its not totally locked away, but its going to take a while to really open the door to it.
But i am still thinking that if some one came along, hopefully from FAB so as to continue to explore sexually.
to much to ask maybe, lol.
"
If you don't ask you don't get. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I have only ever unlocked my heart for one special person. It is currently locked but it is willing to unlock again if/when another special person was to come my way. I don't just give it to anyone, you have to be pretty damn special to get the key."
Don't lose the key. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"mine is on my sleeve
That's not a safe place for hearts. Tuck it under the sleeve and then it's easy enough to get to but it won't knocked off your sleeve."
I agree... 
I keep mine in my shirt pocket...  |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Mines under lock and key as its still trying to mend after getting broken into a thousand little pieces by a very special someone recently. Saddest thing is I realised he was the first person I ever truly fell in love with despite a 17 year relationship with my ex "
It's always a risk, isn't it? We can truly love someone but find it is not reciprocated. |
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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
"I have only ever unlocked my heart for one special person. It is currently locked but it is willing to unlock again if/when another special person was to come my way. I don't just give it to anyone, you have to be pretty damn special to get the key.
Don't lose the key."
Don't you worry. It's in a safe place |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I locked mine away for 10 years..2001 to 2011.
then i let it out and had it broken...so its not totally locked away, but its going to take a while to really open the door to it.
But i am still thinking that if some one came along, hopefully from FAB so as to continue to explore sexuall
to much to ask maybe, lol.
"
+1  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes locked away, the word love was destroyed when I was a child, so cannot feel the love for someone, cannot let someone in hence I am still single. I get lonely so have dated people in the past for that reason only which wasn't really good for me or them so this suits me, don't want love as no such thing. I see old people walking past my office holding hands and would love that but just think it isn't possible for me. Think its also linked to my inability to orgasm as it would mean letting the barrier down and letting someone in, no thanks, much too scary "
But that can be such a great feeling knowing you will go through the ups and downs of life and sit there in years to come united and still deeply in love. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Locked away for now, yes. In that i'm focusing on me and looking after number one (life, job, circumstances).
If and when the time is right, i'll let another in. But not before then. I have my whole life ahead of me, so i'm in no rush."
You can't hurry love, you just have to wait... There's a song for every occasion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I locked mine away for 10 years..2001 to 2011.
then i let it out and had it broken...so its not totally locked away, but its going to take a while to really open the door to it.
But i am still thinking that if some one came along, hopefully from FAB so as to continue to explore sexually.
to much to ask maybe, lol.
If you don't ask you don't get."
Most i ask run screaming lol. |
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"Locked away for now, yes. In that i'm focusing on me and looking after number one (life, job, circumstances).
If and when the time is right, i'll let another in. But not before then. I have my whole life ahead of me, so i'm in no rush.
You can't hurry love, you just have to wait... There's a song for every occasion. "
Funny you mention that, i was just listening to Phil Collins, haha. But yes, very true. Only been in love once, and getting to that point took a long time. I'm pretty patient, but also very guarded when it comes to feelings. |
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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
I do think it's sad that so many people are saying they have locked themselves down for good out of fear of having their hearts broken. By worrying about all the bad things that could happen you end up missing out on the good stuff that can happen as well. If you allow yourself the possibility of opening up sometimes bad things happen yes, but sometimes amazing and wonderful things can happen too. If you go into lock down mode nothing happens. The thought of nothing ever happening makes me sadder than the thought of bad things happening. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Yes locked away, the word love was destroyed when I was a child, so cannot feel the love for someone, cannot let someone in hence I am still single. I get lonely so have dated people in the past for that reason only which wasn't really good for me or them so this suits me, don't want love as no such thing. I see old people walking past my office holding hands and would love that but just think it isn't possible for me. Think its also linked to my inability to orgasm as it would mean letting the barrier down and letting someone in, no thanks, much too scary "
I understand a lot of that. Eleanor Roosevelt famously said that you should do one thing everyday that scares you. A little bit at a time. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I do think it's sad that so many people are saying they have locked themselves down for good out of fear of having their hearts broken. By worrying about all the bad things that could happen you end up missing out on the good stuff that can happen as well. If you allow yourself the possibility of opening up sometimes bad things happen yes, but sometimes amazing and wonderful things can happen too. If you go into lock down mode nothing happens. The thought of nothing ever happening makes me sadder than the thought of bad things happening."
I think that's where I am at too. I've taken the razor wire down but I haven't flung doors open, just quietly unlocked them in case someone tries turning the handle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The thought of nothing ever happening makes me sadder than the thought of bad things happening."
This, very true should never be scared to feel or express emotion. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I locked mine away for 10 years..2001 to 2011.
then i let it out and had it broken...so its not totally locked away, but its going to take a while to really open the door to it.
But i am still thinking that if some one came along, hopefully from FAB so as to continue to explore sexually.
to much to ask maybe, lol.
If you don't ask you don't get.
Most i ask run screaming lol."
Maybe it's about the way you ask. |
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"Mines under lock and key as its still trying to mend after getting broken into a thousand little pieces by a very special someone recently. Saddest thing is I realised he was the first person I ever truly fell in love with despite a 17 year relationship with my ex
It's always a risk, isn't it? We can truly love someone but find it is not reciprocated."
That's the sad part it was reciprocated but despite that it still couldn't happen. Having to walk away from someone you love and who loves you back is the hardest thing I've ever done |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Mines under lock and key as its still trying to mend after getting broken into a thousand little pieces by a very special someone recently. Saddest thing is I realised he was the first person I ever truly fell in love with despite a 17 year relationship with my ex
It's always a risk, isn't it? We can truly love someone but find it is not reciprocated.
That's the sad part it was reciprocated but despite that it still couldn't happen. Having to walk away from someone you love and who loves you back is the hardest thing I've ever done "
That is sad and very difficult. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I locked mine away for 10 years..2001 to 2011.
then i let it out and had it broken...so its not totally locked away, but its going to take a while to really open the door to it.
But i am still thinking that if some one came along, hopefully from FAB so as to continue to explore sexually.
to much to ask maybe, lol.
If you don't ask you don't get.
Most i ask run screaming lol.
Maybe it's about the way you ask."
could be...lol
;) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Mine is under lock and key , surrounded by poison ivy .... It would take someone truely special to melt it..
Why? Because it has been broken and ripped apart by a man I thought was my soulmate whom I trusted with my life.
"
been there, got the Tshirt
as the song says 'Im never gonna fall in love, a a a again' |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Mine is under lock and key , surrounded by poison ivy .... It would take someone truely special to melt it..
Why? Because it has been broken and ripped apart by a man I thought was my soulmate whom I trusted with my life.
been there, got the Tshirt
as the song says 'Im never gonna fall in love, a a a again'"
Maybe that's the issue. We take for granted that love is a "falling into" thing. A young man I mentor recently told me that he had made the decision to love the person he has been seeing. I've never seen him happier in all the years I have known him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes locked away, the word love was destroyed when I was a child, so cannot feel the love for someone, cannot let someone in hence I am still single. I get lonely so have dated people in the past for that reason only which wasn't really good for me or them so this suits me, don't want love as no such thing. I see old people walking past my office holding hands and would love that but just think it isn't possible for me. Think its also linked to my inability to orgasm as it would mean letting the barrier down and letting someone in, no thanks, much too scary
But that can be such a great feeling knowing you will go through the ups and downs of life and sit there in years to come united and still deeply in love."
You've lost me sorry? I am single and have been for nearly 10 yrs now so no-one to share the ups and downs with and think maybe I'm destined for the single life until I die |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes locked away, the word love was destroyed when I was a child, so cannot feel the love for someone, cannot let someone in hence I am still single. I get lonely so have dated people in the past for that reason only which wasn't really good for me or them so this suits me, don't want love as no such thing. I see old people walking past my office holding hands and would love that but just think it isn't possible for me. Think its also linked to my inability to orgasm as it would mean letting the barrier down and letting someone in, no thanks, much too scary
But that can be such a great feeling knowing you will go through the ups and downs of life and sit there in years to come united and still deeply in love.
You've lost me sorry? I am single and have been for nearly 10 yrs now so no-one to share the ups and downs with and think maybe I'm destined for the single life until I die "
My point being if you don't put yourself open to risk as it were you won't get to see the reward it can bring. |
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"I do think it's sad that so many people are saying they have locked themselves down for good out of fear "
I'm not afraid of anything, just like where I'm at and accepting other reasons which I'm not going to say in an open forum |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes locked away, the word love was destroyed when I was a child, so cannot feel the love for someone, cannot let someone in hence I am still single. I get lonely so have dated people in the past for that reason only which wasn't really good for me or them so this suits me, don't want love as no such thing. I see old people walking past my office holding hands and would love that but just think it isn't possible for me. Think its also linked to my inability to orgasm as it would mean letting the barrier down and letting someone in, no thanks, much too scary
I understand a lot of that. Eleanor Roosevelt famously said that you should do one thing everyday that scares you. A little bit at a time."
I messaged someone for a play meet and he then cancelled as I wouldn't do bare back scary enough messaging someone in case I got turned down but was just another waste of space  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes locked away, the word love was destroyed when I was a child, so cannot feel the love for someone, cannot let someone in hence I am still single. I get lonely so have dated people in the past for that reason only which wasn't really good for me or them so this suits me, don't want love as no such thing. I see old people walking past my office holding hands and would love that but just think it isn't possible for me. Think its also linked to my inability to orgasm as it would mean letting the barrier down and letting someone in, no thanks, much too scary "
I locked mine away after my marriage ended suddenly after 25 yrs. I never saw it coming. I have recently met a guy away from here & things are looking good. I've been honest with him & told him about being on here. Funny thing is he was on here about 18 months ago. If things work out I'll be coming away from here. He is slowly unlocking mine again. xx
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i married young (20) for all the wrong reasons he ripped my heart out and broke into millions of pieces im now in the process of a divorce, i can honestly say i dreaded the day i walked down the aisle i went through the motions of the day (was thankful when it ended)...
i met matt around a year after me abd ex split i have never felt anything like it in my life i am so madly in love with him we have our ups and downs like everyone but it makes us stronger in the long run
bekki xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes locked away, the word love was destroyed when I was a child, so cannot feel the love for someone, cannot let someone in hence I am still single. I get lonely so have dated people in the past for that reason only which wasn't really good for me or them so this suits me, don't want love as no such thing. I see old people walking past my office holding hands and would love that but just think it isn't possible for me. Think its also linked to my inability to orgasm as it would mean letting the barrier down and letting someone in, no thanks, much too scary
But that can be such a great feeling knowing you will go through the ups and downs of life and sit there in years to come united and still deeply in love.
You've lost me sorry? I am single and have been for nearly 10 yrs now so no-one to share the ups and downs with and think maybe I'm destined for the single life until I die
My point being if you don't put yourself open to risk as it were you won't get to see the reward it can bring."
Got you, just meeting someone is difficult, perhaps I put out the wrong aura |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i married young (20) for all the wrong reasons he ripped my heart out and broke into millions of pieces im now in the process of a divorce, i can honestly say i dreaded the day i walked down the aisle i went through the motions of the day (was thankful when it ended)...
i met matt around a year after me abd ex split i have never felt anything like it in my life i am so madly in love with him we have our ups and downs like everyone but it makes us stronger in the long run
bekki xx"
after** |
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"God no my heart is open but not open to abuse I am a believer you can find love anywhere including fab
Love can be found in the most unexpected places, or so I've been told!"
I found love in a cocktail bar with my ex husband lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No, my hearts not locked at all.
I'm just going to be a lot more fussy as to who I'll trust with it now.
Made some really bad decisions at times, but I still know that the only man I've ever given it to freely and without any doubt was my ex. He'll always have a little piece whatever happens |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i married young (20) for all the wrong reasons he ripped my heart out and broke into millions of pieces im now in the process of a divorce, i can honestly say i dreaded the day i walked down the aisle i went through the motions of the day (was thankful when it ended)...
i met matt around a year after me abd ex split i have never felt anything like it in my life i am so madly in love with him we have our ups and downs like everyone but it makes us stronger in the long run
bekki xx"
It is indeed the ups and down that do make you stronger and the bond unbreakable but you have to have the downs imo to fully embrace love as nothing in life is that simple and you of course learn as you go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes locked away, the word love was destroyed when I was a child, so cannot feel the love for someone, cannot let someone in hence I am still single. I get lonely so have dated people in the past for that reason only which wasn't really good for me or them so this suits me, don't want love as no such thing. I see old people walking past my office holding hands and would love that but just think it isn't possible for me. Think its also linked to my inability to orgasm as it would mean letting the barrier down and letting someone in, no thanks, much too scary
But that can be such a great feeling knowing you will go through the ups and downs of life and sit there in years to come united and still deeply in love.
You've lost me sorry? I am single and have been for nearly 10 yrs now so no-one to share the ups and downs with and think maybe I'm destined for the single life until I die
My point being if you don't put yourself open to risk as it were you won't get to see the reward it can bring.
Got you, just meeting someone is difficult, perhaps I put out the wrong aura "
and perhaps you shut off? Never good to as I said not let yourself feel real emotion even if that has repercussions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My heart is locked away to most people. Only a few know it and how to get to it.
The reason behind this is I have been hurt so easily in the past as I gave it too readily to people who turned out to be not worthy of it.
My name comes from a song called Lady Ice by Arcadia. Its lyrics are so appropriate to me. |
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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
"No, my hearts not locked at all.
I'm just going to be a lot more fussy as to who I'll trust with it now.
Made some really bad decisions at times, but I still know that the only man I've ever given it to freely and without any doubt was my ex. He'll always have a little piece whatever happens "
Ah we have ALL made bad decisions in life. It's how we learn what we don't want which takes a lot of time and is just as important, if not more important, as working out what we do want. And if working out want we don't want makes us 'fussy' then so be it! |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Don't ever lock your heart away it will get cold, shrink and die...feel the hurt, joy, pain, ecstasy...it defines the most precious thing we have ..life"
An atrophied heart must hurt too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Giving your heart away is never a conscious choice - it will happen irrespective of what your logic or mind says - it may just be around the next corner |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I just haveca show of hands how many people are pissed in this thread at this point in time?....
Cos I'd be really interested to know...
"
Not me and really I don't think anyone else is except maybe you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I just haveca show of hands how many people are pissed in this thread at this point in time?....
Cos I'd be really interested to know...
"
Not me!! I am soppy, loyal & romantic and a firm believer in true love.
P.S I love you Ben   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I just haveca show of hands how many people are pissed in this thread at this point in time?....
Cos I'd be really interested to know...
Not me and really I don't think anyone else is except maybe you"
Haha good one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I just haveca show of hands how many people are pissed in this thread at this point in time?....
Cos I'd be really interested to know...
Not me!! I am soppy, loyal & romantic and a firm believer in true love.
P.S I love you Ben "
Im running away! I've see the sunglasses you wear! |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Can I just haveca show of hands how many people are pissed in this thread at this point in time?....
Cos I'd be really interested to know...
"
I've only had water to drink all day. I never drink alone. It was some of the comments on the other thread that lead to this one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I just haveca show of hands how many people are pissed in this thread at this point in time?....
Cos I'd be really interested to know...
Not me!! I am soppy, loyal & romantic and a firm believer in true love.
P.S I love you Ben
Im running away! I've see the sunglasses you wear! "
That was just one pair  |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Can I just haveca show of hands how many people are pissed in this thread at this point in time?....
Cos I'd be really interested to know...
Not me!! I am soppy, loyal & romantic and a firm believer in true love.
P.S I love you Ben
Im running away! I've see the sunglasses you wear!
That was just one pair "
Beer Goggles? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I just haveca show of hands how many people are pissed in this thread at this point in time?....
Cos I'd be really interested to know...
Not me!! I am soppy, loyal & romantic and a firm believer in true love.
P.S I love you Ben
Im running away! I've see the sunglasses you wear!
That was just one pair Beer Goggles? "
Hate beer |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Can I just haveca show of hands how many people are pissed in this thread at this point in time?....
Cos I'd be really interested to know...
Not me!! I am soppy, loyal & romantic and a firm believer in true love.
P.S I love you Ben
Im running away! I've see the sunglasses you wear!
That was just one pair Beer Goggles?
Hate beer "
Wine goggles? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I just haveca show of hands how many people are pissed in this thread at this point in time?....
Cos I'd be really interested to know...
Not me!! I am soppy, loyal & romantic and a firm believer in true love.
P.S I love you Ben
Im running away! I've see the sunglasses you wear!
That was just one pair "
You mean there's more????...
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I just haveca show of hands how many people are pissed in this thread at this point in time?....
Cos I'd be really interested to know...
Not me!! I am soppy, loyal & romantic and a firm believer in true love.
P.S I love you Ben
Im running away! I've see the sunglasses you wear!
That was just one pair Beer Goggles?
Hate beer Wine goggles? "
More like Mr Greedy believed my sunglasses were too big, in fact bigger than his ego |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I just haveca show of hands how many people are pissed in this thread at this point in time?....
Cos I'd be really interested to know...
Not me!! I am soppy, loyal & romantic and a firm believer in true love.
P.S I love you Ben
Im running away! I've see the sunglasses you wear!
That was just one pair
You mean there's more????...
"
Of course |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I just haveca show of hands how many people are pissed in this thread at this point in time?....
Cos I'd be really interested to know...
Not me!! I am soppy, loyal & romantic and a firm believer in true love.
P.S I love you Ben
Im running away! I've see the sunglasses you wear!
That was just one pair Beer Goggles?
Hate beer Wine goggles?
More like Mr Greedy believed my sunglasses were too big, in fact bigger than his ego "
Pahaha!
I ain't got an ego..
What is an ego? That word you say? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Pahaha!
I ain't got an ego..
What is an ego? That word you say?
Greedy, do you have any mode other than cheeky? "
Uh..er my account got hacked! That's my best excuse.
Goodnighty night all  |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
Pahaha!
I ain't got an ego..
What is an ego? That word you say?
Greedy, do you have any mode other than cheeky?
Uh..er my account got hacked! That's my best excuse.
Goodnighty night all "
Let your heart have a little run around in the morning. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
True love brings with it such vulnerability that when it goes badly wrong it's so tempting to bring down the shutters and say "never again". But i still believe in it wholeheartedly. I like to believe that we can learn from past mistakes and should we be lucky enough to find it again...make it even sweeter..... |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
Don't lock your heart away,put it somewhere harder to find,if that person loves you,they'll find it,if you love them,you'll let them.
Love doesn't come along very often,don't let your past deny it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Been hurt too many times so I've buried my heart very deep and hidden the key!
The only L word I do now is Lust The other true L word is locked away with my heart. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Mine has been well and truly locked away. Never found anyone I trust enough to love. I have cared deeply for people in my life, but never felt the head-over-heels stuff that people describe.
I got married and we wrote our own wedding vows, and I couldn't use the word love in them. (And I wonder why I'm divorced now lol)
Is the head over heels feeling not available because your heart is locked away or is your heart locked away because you have never felt it?
I think its there because I have some major trust issues. And also, as a much bigger girl (pre losing 17 stone in weight) I never felt I deserved it because I have very low self esteem... however, there may be some movement on this issue with someone I'm seeing now lol"
Wow well done for losing all that weight hun that's incredible ,I was overweight also at one point and like u lacked confidence hid away met a thing a total control freak and liked his fists in my face too,I thought that was what I deserved and for 7yrs put up with it .
When he finally pissed off I just lost the weight with stress and nerves I think I only had about 7st too lose though and I took a look in the mirror one day didn't recognise me !!!! Never looked back massive confidence boost met hubby twat was the same but add cheat too it he got kicked too the kerb weight fell off me ,finally I'm happy with me but still don't believe I deserve too be loved or wanted !!!
But good luck with ur relationship Hun xxxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've give up on mine ever seeing daylight again I'm too soft and get hurt way too often,how can wanting to be loved be a sign too trample someone's heart ????
Mine in a lead box buried xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't lock your heart away,put it somewhere harder to find,if that person loves you,they'll find it,if you love them,you'll let them.
Love doesn't come along very often,don't let your past deny it."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Fell pretty hard then had it shattered.. still hurts now if im honest.
The good times were amazing and its remembering how good that part felt is what's helping me. I will find someone deserving of my love and trust one day.. no rush |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've had mine pretty much destroyed.... But I can never lock it away. It's always there on display. I'm always open, makes me pretty vulnerable at times but it also makes me who I am. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yeah i think mine is locked away and im not looking for a potential partner....and if i felt someone was sneaking in i know i would take a step back unless i thought it would go somewhere and was certain they were feeling the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So sorry to hear about so many with their heart locked away.
We pass by this world once, what we believe of ourselves is who and what we are.
If you hold back in fear of being hurt you'll most likely be hurt. If you head in, determined to experience the amazing human emotion attached to your heart you'll feel amazing.
I roller blade, if I believe I am going to fall I do, if I refuse to believe it I don't . Its not easy to force yourself to believe, but so many times I have nearly crashed and burned but managed to stay rolling using belief.
I think the same of life, if you lock your heart away the pleasure from your time on this planet will be so much less. Open your heart, jump in, live, love and learn to love again. Its a human condition, don't go all 'ice' just swim in the pleasure and don't take this world so seriously. Smile, regardless.
Dance like nobody is watching, ...
If you are open hearted and enjoying the world, using your mind to believe its fun, wonderful and loving then you become lovable. From there you are safe, if you open your heart others will too ..
You are here once, don't go through your time hard, cold, locked away and heartless. Embrace the smile, be lovable.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So sorry to hear about so many with their heart locked away.
We pass by this world once, what we believe of ourselves is who and what we are.
If you hold back in fear of being hurt you'll most likely be hurt. If you head in, determined to experience the amazing human emotion attached to your heart you'll feel amazing.
I roller blade, if I believe I am going to fall I do, if I refuse to believe it I don't . Its not easy to force yourself to believe, but so many times I have nearly crashed and burned but managed to stay rolling using belief.
I think the same of life, if you lock your heart away the pleasure from your time on this planet will be so much less. Open your heart, jump in, live, love and learn to love again. Its a human condition, don't go all 'ice' just swim in the pleasure and don't take this world so seriously. Smile, regardless.
Dance like nobody is watching, ...
If you are open hearted and enjoying the world, using your mind to believe its fun, wonderful and loving then you become lovable. From there you are safe, if you open your heart others will too ..
You are here once, don't go through your time hard, cold, locked away and heartless. Embrace the smile, be lovable.
"
On the other hand, if we let someone in they could destroy out heart, so we can't really can we? I mean in your comment, you say 'If you hold back in fear of being hurt you'll most likely be hurt.' What will we be hurt by if we don't let anyone in? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So sorry to hear about so many with their heart locked away.
We pass by this world once, what we believe of ourselves is who and what we are.
If you hold back in fear of being hurt you'll most likely be hurt. If you head in, determined to experience the amazing human emotion attached to your heart you'll feel amazing.
I roller blade, if I believe I am going to fall I do, if I refuse to believe it I don't . Its not easy to force yourself to believe, but so many times I have nearly crashed and burned but managed to stay rolling using belief.
I think the same of life, if you lock your heart away the pleasure from your time on this planet will be so much less. Open your heart, jump in, live, love and learn to love again. Its a human condition, don't go all 'ice' just swim in the pleasure and don't take this world so seriously. Smile, regardless.
Dance like nobody is watching, ...
If you are open hearted and enjoying the world, using your mind to believe its fun, wonderful and loving then you become lovable. From there you are safe, if you open your heart others will too ..
You are here once, don't go through your time hard, cold, locked away and heartless. Embrace the smile, be lovable.
On the other hand, if we let someone in they could destroy out heart, so we can't really can we? I mean in your comment, you say 'If you hold back in fear of being hurt you'll most likely be hurt.' What will we be hurt by if we don't let anyone in? "
FEAR of....
Recognise its just fear and negativity.
P.s i have loved and been loved a few times, given myself and been broken hearted but it will not stop me from loving again or being so closed that i don't accept or receive love from another.
X |
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"So sorry to hear about so many with their heart locked away.
We pass by this world once, what we believe of ourselves is who and what we are.
If you hold back in fear of being hurt you'll most likely be hurt. If you head in, determined to experience the amazing human emotion attached to your heart you'll feel amazing.
I roller blade, if I believe I am going to fall I do, if I refuse to believe it I don't . Its not easy to force yourself to believe, but so many times I have nearly crashed and burned but managed to stay rolling using belief.
I think the same of life, if you lock your heart away the pleasure from your time on this planet will be so much less. Open your heart, jump in, live, love and learn to love again. Its a human condition, don't go all 'ice' just swim in the pleasure and don't take this world so seriously. Smile, regardless.
Dance like nobody is watching, ...
If you are open hearted and enjoying the world, using your mind to believe its fun, wonderful and loving then you become lovable. From there you are safe, if you open your heart others will too ..
You are here once, don't go through your time hard, cold, locked away and heartless. Embrace the smile, be lovable.
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Some threads on these forums are funny, some plain silly, others can make you angry and some are difficult to understand.
But this one is unusual in that it can bring a few tears to the eyes, and shows what a sentimental lot we really are.
At the end of the day I guess most of us would love to unlock our hearts and be in a state of blissful happiness. Why is this so difficult? Personally, I don't really think its so much a problem of finding the right person, its a case of having the nerve to express your feelings and abandoning thoughts of not being good enough.
I don't if I'm just talking about myself here or whether this is now others feel. I, for one, really would like to find that key. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some threads on these forums are funny, some plain silly, others can make you angry and some are difficult to understand.
But this one is unusual in that it can bring a few tears to the eyes, and shows what a sentimental lot we really are.
At the end of the day I guess most of us would love to unlock our hearts and be in a state of blissful happiness. Why is this so difficult? Personally, I don't really think its so much a problem of finding the right person, its a case of having the nerve to express your feelings and abandoning thoughts of not being good enough.
I don't if I'm just talking about myself here or whether this is now others feel. I, for one, really would like to find that key."
If you truly love someone they will find the key. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Thank you all for your contributions so far.
I have been moved by how many of you feel/have felt that you are unloveable and where these thoughts come from.
Beliefs are all in the mind, they are strong but they are only in the mind and we can change our minds. Paraphrasing Carol Dweck. |
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"So sorry to hear about so many with their heart locked away.
We pass by this world once, what we believe of ourselves is who and what we are.
If you hold back in fear of being hurt you'll most likely be hurt. If you head in, determined to experience the amazing human emotion attached to your heart you'll feel amazing.
I roller blade, if I believe I am going to fall I do, if I refuse to believe it I don't . Its not easy to force yourself to believe, but so many times I have nearly crashed and burned but managed to stay rolling using belief.
I think the same of life, if you lock your heart away the pleasure from your time on this planet will be so much less. Open your heart, jump in, live, love and learn to love again. Its a human condition, don't go all 'ice' just swim in the pleasure and don't take this world so seriously. Smile, regardless.
Dance like nobody is watching, ...
If you are open hearted and enjoying the world, using your mind to believe its fun, wonderful and loving then you become lovable. From there you are safe, if you open your heart others will too ..
You are here once, don't go through your time hard, cold, locked away and heartless. Embrace the smile, be lovable.
"
Nice sentiment and lots of it true. Mine is on lockdown at the moment but only while it mends but it definitely won't stay there. Life would be very sad if it did!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My heart is locked away currently for a number of reasons. Mainly because a number of my exes are lying cheating scumbags who have slowly chipped away at me. Right now if my heart is allowed to be open for people to have access to it then there will be more damage done before its healed after the latest betrayal.
I successfully locked it away a few years ago and it stayed that way for 18 months. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"My heart is locked away currently for a number of reasons. Mainly because a number of my exes are lying cheating scumbags who have slowly chipped away at me. Right now if my heart is allowed to be open for people to have access to it then there will be more damage done before its healed after the latest betrayal.
I successfully locked it away a few years ago and it stayed that way for 18 months."
Allowing it to heal is sensible but you know the story of how long I locked mine away so don't do that. |
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"So sorry to hear about so many with their heart locked away.
We pass by this world once, what we believe of ourselves is who and what we are.
If you hold back in fear of being hurt you'll most likely be hurt. If you head in, determined to experience the amazing human emotion attached to your heart you'll feel amazing.
I roller blade, if I believe I am going to fall I do, if I refuse to believe it I don't . Its not easy to force yourself to believe, but so many times I have nearly crashed and burned but managed to stay rolling using belief.
I think the same of life, if you lock your heart away the pleasure from your time on this planet will be so much less. Open your heart, jump in, live, love and learn to love again. Its a human condition, don't go all 'ice' just swim in the pleasure and don't take this world so seriously. Smile, regardless.
Dance like nobody is watching, ...
If you are open hearted and enjoying the world, using your mind to believe its fun, wonderful and loving then you become lovable. From there you are safe, if you open your heart others will too ..
You are here once, don't go through your time hard, cold, locked away and heartless. Embrace the smile, be lovable.
On the other hand, if we let someone in they could destroy out heart, so we can't really can we? I mean in your comment, you say 'If you hold back in fear of being hurt you'll most likely be hurt.' What will we be hurt by if we don't let anyone in?
FEAR of....
Recognise its just fear and negativity.
P.s i have loved and been loved a few times, given myself and been broken hearted but it will not stop me from loving again or being so closed that i don't accept or receive love from another.
X "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Mine isn't whole ............ people have nicked bits of it - but it's in rehab at the moment rejuvenating - it will emerge fully complete again one day when the time is right |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Why do people think its sad?"
I think it's sad because it is part of the rich tapestry of life. Offering love, not just romantic love, affects our interactions with others in small and large ways that enrich both the giver and the recipient.
I think it's sad because it's a way of cutting off experiences.
I think it's sad because I have done it and still struggle to keep it open but protected. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some threads on these forums are funny, some plain silly, others can make you angry and some are difficult to understand.
But this one is unusual in that it can bring a few tears to the eyes, and shows what a sentimental lot we really are.
At the end of the day I guess most of us would love to unlock our hearts and be in a state of blissful happiness. Why is this so difficult? Personally, I don't really think its so much a problem of finding the right person, its a case of having the nerve to express your feelings and abandoning thoughts of not being good enough.
I don't if I'm just talking about myself here or whether this is now others feel. I, for one, really would like to find that key."
'Personally, I don't really think its so much a problem of finding the right person, its a case of having the nerve to express your feelings and abandoning thoughts of not being good enough.'
Think you have hit the nail on the head there with that comment, partially anyway for me |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Why do people think its sad?
I think it's sad because it is part of the rich tapestry of life. Offering love, not just romantic love, affects our interactions with others in small and large ways that enrich both the giver and the recipient.
I think it's sad because it's a way of cutting off experiences.
I think it's sad because I have done it and still struggle to keep it open but protected."
I suppose it's sad in that something has happened to make us wary of love, but to me it's the best thing ever. The heartache, tears and pain caused by being in love with people who couldn't (or wouldn't) reciprocate, the months and years spent confused about what I'd done wrong this time to make my partner cross/upset/unhappy, the feeling of being trapped, in the end I realised that not pursuing love meant I could bloody relax at last and enjoy the other things in my life.
On the other hand I am more than happy to have a wide open heart for my daughter. Love her to bits. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have loved and still love him to an extent and believe i always will,for me its not so much the fear of being hurt but the fear of not being able to find that again i did have another serious relationship but i went into it for the wrong reasons and i never really loved him like i should have and in the end finished things for his sake. |
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"Why do people think its sad?
I think it's sad because it is part of the rich tapestry of life. Offering love, not just romantic love, affects our interactions with others in small and large ways that enrich both the giver and the recipient.
I think it's sad because it's a way of cutting off experiences.
I think it's sad because I have done it and still struggle to keep it open but protected."
So do you think people like me are selfish? |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Why do people think its sad?
I think it's sad because it is part of the rich tapestry of life. Offering love, not just romantic love, affects our interactions with others in small and large ways that enrich both the giver and the recipient.
I think it's sad because it's a way of cutting off experiences.
I think it's sad because I have done it and still struggle to keep it open but protected.
I suppose it's sad in that something has happened to make us wary of love, but to me it's the best thing ever. The heartache, tears and pain caused by being in love with people who couldn't (or wouldn't) reciprocate, the months and years spent confused about what I'd done wrong this time to make my partner cross/upset/unhappy, the feeling of being trapped, in the end I realised that not pursuing love meant I could bloody relax at last and enjoy the other things in my life.
On the other hand I am more than happy to have a wide open heart for my daughter. Love her to bits. "
I'm in a very similar place. I keep my heart open to love those around me, fully and unreservedly. It is protected from romantic love as I am not equipped to deal with that right now. It's an improvement on locking it away.
|
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Why do people think its sad?
I think it's sad because it is part of the rich tapestry of life. Offering love, not just romantic love, affects our interactions with others in small and large ways that enrich both the giver and the recipient.
I think it's sad because it's a way of cutting off experiences.
I think it's sad because I have done it and still struggle to keep it open but protected.
So do you think people like me are selfish?"
No - I think all people are selfish to greater or lesser degrees. I'm just answering why I think it's sad. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I have loved and still love him to an extent and believe i always will,for me its not so much the fear of being hurt but the fear of not being able to find that again i did have another serious relationship but i went into it for the wrong reasons and i never really loved him like i should have and in the end finished things for his sake."
I still love all the men I have loved but as we were then, not as we are now. The person I think of as my soulmate is not emotionally in a position to allow us to be together but I don't doubt that he loves me and that I love him. We just can't be together unless we can be at the same emotional place at the same time. We still show love for each other but without ties. |
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"I have loved and still love him to an extent and believe i always will,for me its not so much the fear of being hurt but the fear of not being able to find that again i did have another serious relationship but i went into it for the wrong reasons and i never really loved him like i should have and in the end finished things for his sake."
Reading this post made me sad. Now why isn't there most thought provoking posts like this one?
I believe my heart has always been under lock and key for a reason I don't really know. I have never been hurt, never been in love yet I have never allowed myself to love. I think I have never met anyone that have me that gut wrenching feeling of love that society teaches us exists.
I fear that I never will but the fear of letting go scares me more than not finding it.
Sad, isn't it? |
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"Femme's "The way to your heart" thread has made me think about all the hearts under lock and key.
Have you locked your heart away? Why? Is it unavailable to everyone or just potential partners?"
yep |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have loved and still love him to an extent and believe i always will,for me its not so much the fear of being hurt but the fear of not being able to find that again i did have another serious relationship but i went into it for the wrong reasons and i never really loved him like i should have and in the end finished things for his sake.
I still love all the men I have loved but as we were then, not as we are now. The person I think of as my soulmate is not emotionally in a position to allow us to be together but I don't doubt that he loves me and that I love him. We just can't be together unless we can be at the same emotional place at the same time. We still show love for each other but without ties."
This is for me as well u said it exactly right I couldn't have said it better xx |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
I've never been "in love" in the truly, madly, deeply kinda way that I think most people are referring to on this thread. I loved my husband and over the years that mellowed into fondness then down to indifference (we were together from when I was 17 to 32). His unwillingness to compromise for the things I wanted to do and my penchant for extra marital sex (I've always lacked the monogamy gene) led to me eventually leaving him - I think probably the best thing for both of us as he would probably still be welded to his fecking armchair rather than having met a lovely woman off t'interweb and emigrating to the states.
My other significant relationship, I was fond of him to start with, then due to his circumstances changing I kinda felt sorry for him and it was never the right time to kick him into touch (I'm a soft at heart bugger under this Bolshie exterior)...he then broke my trust by stealing a hell of a lot of money off me and that was the impetus I needed to get him entirely out of my life.
I never say never, but I'm not looking for any kind of relationship other than FWB type (and I love my FWB but am not in love and could quite happily carry on regardless were we not to see each other again). My heart is definitely not locked away, I'm open to whatever's round the corner - one of the joys of life is not knowing (though I hope it's not a 10 ton truck speeding towards me) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've not truly loved in 8 years since my sons mum.
After the way I was hurt, the pain and months upon months of feeling sorry for myself I completely closed off, shut down, locked up and pushed all emotions deep down minus the anger.
Last year I guess was the first time I started to show a little and well it didn't go in the right way.
Now it takes a lot for me to let people close, get to know the true me.
I'm not saying I'm not being real but I will only show so much and if anyone gets to close for comfort I'll push them away, whether it be intentional or not I don't know it's just my defences on auto.
Now I'd say my hearts locked up tight and to be able to open it up again is going to take someone extremely special.
Only time will tell I guess |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been in love once... But I love a few people in different ways... I do have my feelings closely guarded...
I doubt I will ever have another proper relationship... Heartache is not something I wish to risk again x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My heart is locked away currently for a number of reasons. Mainly because a number of my exes are lying cheating scumbags who have slowly chipped away at me. Right now if my heart is allowed to be open for people to have access to it then there will be more damage done before its healed after the latest betrayal.
I successfully locked it away a few years ago and it stayed that way for 18 months.
Allowing it to heal is sensible but you know the story of how long I locked mine away so don't do that."
I think the main reason I locked mine away initially was due to my dad dying. Then when I found out about my ex's affair it got further locked away. Sadly the man who found his way into it isn't in a position to give me what I need from the relationship and then I didn't successfully lock mine away again before the recent ex got in there.
Now its shut off - no one else will get in until I feel its fixed enough. At the moment I am too damaged and carrying way too much baggage to have a relationship just now. |
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I have loved but I don't think I have ever truly been loved....my family loves me but I have never felt that a man has ever truly loved me...been fond of me yes but I can honestly say I have never looked into a mans eyes and thought yes I know you truly love me...
I have been in some awful relationships where I have been subject to violence and really not nice stuff..However I can't let that destroy what I truly believe what love is..I keep an open mind that someone will come along and make me see that he truly loves me...I used to look for love but found that I was looking in all the wrong places and now think just live life it will happen when the time is right..I used to love too easily but now I don't allow myself to jump into the deep end unless I have arm bands rubber ring and a float as it is an awful feeling to suffer from unrequited love...love is found in the most unusual of places and at the most random times...I have a lot of love to give to the right person..l can't shut off or lock away my heart as I am a person that once something is locked away it remains there as its something I don't need to revisit or think about...I think the most important love is the one you have for yourself once you live yourself you can be loved..l fell in love with myself last year and I look in the mirror and think fuck me you have come so far..l truly do love what I have been given in life and I love myself whole heartily |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a piece of writing I did for my journal:
Love terrifies me, there I said it. It terrifies the very core of me. I've never been told, by a man, that he loves me for any reason other than to manipulate me. Well actually one of my very best friends is a man and he tells me he loves me all the time, but that's platonic. Obviously my brother and dad have done, but that's not what I mean!
I love my friends, my close ones. That love feels like having someone there for you, someone who I'm there for. Someone to laugh with, cry with, gossip (I mean share information) with. I love my family, unconditionally, that doesn't mean I have to like them all the time but I love them intensely. I love my Blakey - he's my light in the dark times, he's always there for snuggles and keeping my cold tootsies warm.
But what does it feel like to be loved by a man in a romantic manner? That's something I don't know, something I can't answer, because I don't think I've ever been loved properly - but I hope one day I will be. I'm getting to a point where I love myself - that's taking time, but its getting there. I will get there with that one. And one day I'll find someone who loves me and doesn't want to manipulate me by telling me he loves me. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I've never been "in love" in the truly, madly, deeply kinda way that I think most people are referring to on this thread. I loved my husband and over the years that mellowed into fondness then down to indifference (we were together from when I was 17 to 32). His unwillingness to compromise for the things I wanted to do and my penchant for extra marital sex (I've always lacked the monogamy gene) led to me eventually leaving him - I think probably the best thing for both of us as he would probably still be welded to his fecking armchair rather than having met a lovely woman off t'interweb and emigrating to the states.
My other significant relationship, I was fond of him to start with, then due to his circumstances changing I kinda felt sorry for him and it was never the right time to kick him into touch (I'm a soft at heart bugger under this Bolshie exterior)...he then broke my trust by stealing a hell of a lot of money off me and that was the impetus I needed to get him entirely out of my life.
I never say never, but I'm not looking for any kind of relationship other than FWB type (and I love my FWB but am not in love and could quite happily carry on regardless were we not to see each other again). My heart is definitely not locked away, I'm open to whatever's round the corner - one of the joys of life is not knowing (though I hope it's not a 10 ton truck speeding towards me) "
I don't trust the truly, madly, deeply stuff that hits you like a ten ton truck. The truly, madly, deeply that sneaks up on you as it has grown quietly and organically feels right for me.
That said, my sister was hit 21 years ago and they are still strong and soppy with each other. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I have loved but I don't think I have ever truly been loved....my family loves me but I have never felt that a man has ever truly loved me...been fond of me yes but I can honestly say I have never looked into a mans eyes and thought yes I know you truly love me...
I have been in some awful relationships where I have been subject to violence and really not nice stuff..However I can't let that destroy what I truly believe what love is..I keep an open mind that someone will come along and make me see that he truly loves me...I used to look for love but found that I was looking in all the wrong places and now think just live life it will happen when the time is right..I used to love too easily but now I don't allow myself to jump into the deep end unless I have arm bands rubber ring and a float as it is an awful feeling to suffer from unrequited love...love is found in the most unusual of places and at the most random times...I have a lot of love to give to the right person..l can't shut off or lock away my heart as I am a person that once something is locked away it remains there as its something I don't need to revisit or think about...I think the most important love is the one you have for yourself once you live yourself you can be loved..l fell in love with myself last year and I look in the mirror and think fuck me you have come so far..l truly do love what I have been given in life and I love myself whole heartily "
That's wonderful. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"This is a piece of writing I did for my journal:
Love terrifies me, there I said it. It terrifies the very core of me. I've never been told, by a man, that he loves me for any reason other than to manipulate me. Well actually one of my very best friends is a man and he tells me he loves me all the time, but that's platonic. Obviously my brother and dad have done, but that's not what I mean!
I love my friends, my close ones. That love feels like having someone there for you, someone who I'm there for. Someone to laugh with, cry with, gossip (I mean share information) with. I love my family, unconditionally, that doesn't mean I have to like them all the time but I love them intensely. I love my Blakey - he's my light in the dark times, he's always there for snuggles and keeping my cold tootsies warm.
But what does it feel like to be loved by a man in a romantic manner? That's something I don't know, something I can't answer, because I don't think I've ever been loved properly - but I hope one day I will be. I'm getting to a point where I love myself - that's taking time, but its getting there. I will get there with that one. And one day I'll find someone who loves me and doesn't want to manipulate me by telling me he loves me."
I hope you do.
I have thought this too. The question it raised for me is that I am judging how a man loves against my expectation of how I want a man to love. They are different creatures and may not express their love in a way that matches my expectations.
I lost the expectation template of my life last year. At his funeral I realised why I have found it difficult to find the right man. I have been expecting people to be like him and he was a one off. Totally open hearted and even a temp who worked for him for just one week many, many years ago had to write to his widow to express how much of a positive influence he was.
It's not settling for second best but accepting and appreciating people for who they are and not for whom they are not. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"What is this????? Love? What!!??
You know.
I don't think he does he keeps saying he is an emotional cripple lol
Emotional retard here "
Your tattoo has always spoken volumes to me. It's not retarded so much as damaged. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is this????? Love? What!!??
You know.
I don't think he does he keeps saying he is an emotional cripple lol
Emotional retard here "
I don't think there is such a thing, more a case of struggling to be open with your emotions and the inability to process emotion. |
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Will probably get shot down for this, but here goes....
I honestly think (and this isn't directed at anyone here) that some people love the "idea" of being in love with someone more than they are actually in love with another person. If that makes any sense.
I feel there's a pretty clear distinction which some people fail to process. Others are more self aware (either through experience or otherwise) and seek to prevent themselves from ending up in a situation where they continue to fall in love with the wrong people for them.
I probably went off on a small tangent there, but yeah. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whats left of mine is inside a steel cage and the keys well thrown away thanks to a lying cheating husband, the man ripped my heart to shreds and ruined my life forever, i am destined for a life alone now as i'd never trust another man again, i would never let anyone in again time does not heal things for everyone sad to say |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Will probably get shot down for this, but here goes....
I honestly think (and this isn't directed at anyone here) that some people love the "idea" of being in love with someone more than they are actually in love with another person. If that makes any sense.
I feel there's a pretty clear distinction which some people fail to process. Others are more self aware (either through experience or otherwise) and seek to prevent themselves from ending up in a situation where they continue to fall in love with the wrong people for them.
I probably went off on a small tangent there, but yeah."
I agree with you and it's no more of a tangent than any other on this thread. |
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I have.
Had 3 relationships in the last 13 years. One that was going fine until I miscarried our baby 4 months after we were married and instead of coming home when I told him I was bleeding he stayed in the pub another couple of hours with his friends. I wouldn't let him near me after that. The second after 4 years we were more like flat mates than lovers it just fizzled out on its own. Then the most recent which ended for good just over a year ago but was heading fit disaster long before then. I didn't see it at the time but he was controlling, manipulative, nasty and my son is the only good thing to come from it, that and the fact that I will NEVER fool myself into thinking I am happy in a relationship that is abusive ever again.
He is with someone else now and is doing the same to her (she has a child the same age as our son and she's terrified of him apparently!)
But now it's just me and my boy and its gonna take a very special kind of guy to come into our lives. Until then I'm happy single. Yeah I miss the fun times but in my last relationship the fun times were heavily outweighed by the scared, worried, lonely, awful times and I'm not going through that again x |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Whats left of mine is inside a steel cage and the keys well thrown away thanks to a lying cheating husband, the man ripped my heart to shreds and ruined my life forever, i am destined for a life alone now as i'd never trust another man again, i would never let anyone in again time does not heal things for everyone sad to say "
I think that time has a hard job healing anything where one keeps pulling at the scab and leaving the wound open.
Trust is hard to build once lost. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"True love brings with it such vulnerability that when it goes badly wrong it's so tempting to bring down the shutters and say "never again". But i still believe in it wholeheartedly. I like to believe that we can learn from past mistakes and should we be lucky enough to find it again...make it even sweeter..... "
There is of course the old saying which says: "it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all"!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't lock your heart away,put it somewhere harder to find,if that person loves you,they'll find it,if you love them,you'll let them.
Love doesn't come along very often,don't let your past deny it."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No .. no way
Its been broken in more ways than one .. used and all the rest of the crap cliche words I could use
I love love and I believe in it
I want my daughter to believe in it too - she won't see that if she has a parent who dismisses the very thought of it
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"No .. no way
Its been broken in more ways than one .. used and all the rest of the crap cliche words I could use
I love love and I believe in it
I want my daughter to believe in it too - she won't see that if she has a parent who dismisses the very thought of it
"
THAT, more than anything else that has been said is reason enough not to lock your heart away. If we lock ours away the young people in our lives will not learn how to have healthy love in their lives. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So sorry to hear about so many with their heart locked away.
We pass by this world once, what we believe of ourselves is who and what we are.
If you hold back in fear of being hurt you'll most likely be hurt. If you head in, determined to experience the amazing human emotion attached to your heart you'll feel amazing.
I roller blade, if I believe I am going to fall I do, if I refuse to believe it I don't . Its not easy to force yourself to believe, but so many times I have nearly crashed and burned but managed to stay rolling using belief.
I think the same of life, if you lock your heart away the pleasure from your time on this planet will be so much less. Open your heart, jump in, live, love and learn to love again. Its a human condition, don't go all 'ice' just swim in the pleasure and don't take this world so seriously. Smile, regardless.
Dance like nobody is watching, ...
If you are open hearted and enjoying the world, using your mind to believe its fun, wonderful and loving then you become lovable. From there you are safe, if you open your heart others will too ..
You are here once, don't go through your time hard, cold, locked away and heartless. Embrace the smile, be lovable.
On the other hand, if we let someone in they could destroy out heart, so we can't really can we? I mean in your comment, you say 'If you hold back in fear of being hurt you'll most likely be hurt.' What will we be hurt by if we don't let anyone in?
FEAR of....
Recognise its just fear and negativity.
P.s i have loved and been loved a few times, given myself and been broken hearted but it will not stop me from loving again or being so closed that i don't accept or receive love from another.
X "
Exactly. Go for it and don't be hurt by the fear ... You are here once so live it. |
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