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sharing your wife
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By *ickedxxx OP Couple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
To all the married/boyfriends who are swingers. Do you get bothered when a male your meeting says "if she was mine I wouldn't share her" this has been said twice to us and as my wife takes it as a complement, which I'm sure it's ment to be I find that it bothers me. It's like there saying what you doing ? Why do you want anyone else? Or am I just being paranoid ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To all the married/boyfriends who are swingers. Do you get bothered when a male your meeting says "if she was mine I wouldn't share her" this has been said twice to us and as my wife takes it as a complement, which I'm sure it's ment to be I find that it bothers me. It's like there saying what you doing ? Why do you want anyone else? Or am I just being paranoid ? I think it's a bit of all of it. A compliment to your wife and also that if they had a partner like her then they's be happy and not want anyone else. Providing you and your wife are happy with what you are doing, then accept it as a compliment. xx
"
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"To all the married/boyfriends who are swingers. Do you get bothered when a male your meeting says "if she was mine I wouldn't share her" this has been said twice to us and as my wife takes it as a complement, which I'm sure it's ment to be I find that it bothers me. It's like there saying what you doing ? Why do you want anyone else? Or am I just being paranoid ?
"
I (F) don't like the term "sharing your wife" and think its used by people who don't understand that what we do is a joint decision and there is no ownership by either of us of the other. I don't take it as a compliment because I think it implies that I only do this with A's permission or at his say so, neither of which is true...it is as I said a joint decision.
Having said all that I would forget about it as its clearly said by people who don't understand the dynamic between you and your wife and is probably meant (misguidedly) as a compliment to you both. |
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By *ickedxxx OP Couple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
We are very comfortable that's why we are able to do this I was just wondering why I take it wrong and would like to know if anyone else finds it a bit odd. I personally think a real swinger would never say that as they would also be comfortable in love and happy and sharing is different to allowing
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we went to a club in paris and after having fun with 2 guys they joined us in the bar.one of them starts trying to tell us its not good to be doing what we do.pissed me off as this was a swinger club not a church hall.i speak French and told him to fxxk up.but must admit it annoyed me |
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I don't know if I see it as a compliment or an insult... I don't mean an insult to you or your wife but when people talk like that it makes me think that they see potential other halfs as posessions and also they would seem the kind who'd play with a couple and then say "I'd never share MY wife/girlfriend", like, "I'll share your's but sharing MINE is below me" sort of thing...
Then again, I read too much into things so ignore me. 
- Amy. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't know if I see it as a compliment or an insult... I don't mean an insult to you or your wife but when people talk like that it makes me think that they see potential other halfs as posessions and also they would seem the kind who'd play with a couple and then say "I'd never share MY wife/girlfriend", like, "I'll share your's but sharing MINE is below me" sort of thing...
Then again, I read too much into things so ignore me.
- Amy. x"
I completely agree. It works both ways x |
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"I (F) don't like the term "sharing your wife" and think its used by people who don't understand that what we do is a joint decision and there is no ownership by either of us of the other. I don't take it as a compliment because I think it implies that I only do this with A's permission or at his say so, neither of which is true..."
 This. x |
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By *ickedxxx OP Couple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"To all the married/boyfriends who are swingers. Do you get bothered when a male your meeting says "if she was mine I wouldn't share her" this has been said twice to us and as my wife takes it as a complement, which I'm sure it's ment to be I find that it bothers me. It's like there saying what you doing ? Why do you want anyone else? Or am I just being paranoid ?
I (F) don't like the term "sharing your wife" and think its used by people who don't understand that what we do is a joint decision and there is no ownership by either of us of the other. I don't take it as a compliment because I think it implies that I only do this with A's permission or at his say so, neither of which is true...it is as I said a joint decision.
Having said all that I would forget about it as its clearly said by people who don't understand the dynamic between you and your wife and is probably meant (misguidedly) as a compliment to you both."
Bingo! Exactly what I'm talking about thanks |
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It reminds me of the ones who go to someone's home to play then get shocked and offended at the suggestion that they host next time - they couldn't possibly have dirty swingers in their own bed! 
If they are happy to partake but wouldn't dream of returning the favour I'd be very miffed. |
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By *ickedxxx OP Couple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
I'm glad people think the same way as we do I will always take it as a complement be it misguided and if I hear it again it will let me know that they have no idea what it's like to be a real swinger and be able to think of the person you love is still a person and not property. what we do inriches our lives as a couple and in 30 or 40 years when we speak our last words they will be "wow how good was that!" |
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"I'm glad people think the same way as we do I will always take it as a complement be it misguided and if I hear it again it will let me know that they have no idea what it's like to be a real swinger and be able to think of the person you love is still a person and not property. what we do inriches our lives as a couple and in 30 or 40 years when we speak our last words they will be "wow how good was that!" "
Lol you think very much like us we want to be sitting in the TV lounge at the old peoples home laughing about some of the stuff we got up to.
I think a lot of this books down to some very strange attitudes to women and marriage. |
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By *iked50Man
over a year ago
durham |
Im not sharing my wife, we are still married and in love with each other, if she wants another cock or pussy then thats her choice, it does not affect our relationship, she is not my possession to share she is a unique person with her own choices to make. When we swing in whatever form ffmm mff mmf or group its just good fun like going to the cinema. |
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I don't subscribe to the if we share you share theory. If you anarcho meet single people to make up a therefore that's your choice but you shouldn't expect that single person yo want to partake in swinging if the find a partner.
It's not a case of its only fair. Life isn't fair. Get over it. If you are happy doing what you are doing crack on but don't get all bothered by what other people would do in hypothetical situations |
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By *ickedxxx OP Couple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Im not sharing my wife, we are still married and in love with each other, if she wants another cock or pussy then thats her choice, it does not affect our relationship, she is not my possession to share she is a unique person with her own choices to make. When we swing in whatever form ffmm mff mmf or group its just good fun like going to the cinema."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To all the married/boyfriends who are swingers. Do you get bothered when a male your meeting says "if she was mine I wouldn't share her" this has been said twice to us and as my wife takes it as a complement, which I'm sure it's ment to be I find that it bothers me. It's like there saying what you doing ? Why do you want anyone else? Or am I just being paranoid ?
Happy to share YOUR wife, but wouldn't return the honour/privilege, wow, nice set of double standards there ! Wouldn't have taken that as a compliment as it seems to suggest your wife is your property (oops) and as the owner of said item, you are in someway defficient in your care, attention & respect. Thag sort of throw-away, backhanded "compliment" woukd be the qujcksst way to end a meet or to ensure there wouldn't be seconds.
"
 |
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By *ickedxxx OP Couple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"To all the married/boyfriends who are swingers. Do you get bothered when a male your meeting says "if she was mine I wouldn't share her" this has been said twice to us and as my wife takes it as a complement, which I'm sure it's ment to be I find that it bothers me. It's like there saying what you doing ? Why do you want anyone else? Or am I just being paranoid ?
Happy to share YOUR wife, but wouldn't return the honour/privilege, wow, nice set of double standards there ! Wouldn't have taken that as a compliment as it seems to suggest your wife is your property (oops) and as the owner of said item, you are in someway defficient in your care, attention & respect. Thag sort of throw-away, backhanded "compliment" woukd be the qujcksst way to end a meet or to ensure there wouldn't be seconds.
"
To be honest it was a great social and we had a good laugh despite the odd question "are you missing out on"? Or "lacking in"? that was answered very quickly with a NO! And towards the end of the night I think they learnt more about swinging then they had before.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is a learning curve for people, I am bound to say the wrong thing at some point( history dictates that I WILL say something stupid at some point) but ask this next time someone tries to offer that particular compliment "your a good looking guy/girl how come you can't get your own girl/guy" lol instant perspective  |
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By *ickedxxx OP Couple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"It is a learning curve for people, I am bound to say the wrong thing at some point( history dictates that I WILL say something stupid at some point) but ask this next time someone tries to offer that particular compliment "your a good looking guy/girl how come you can't get your own girl/guy" lol instant perspective "
Good point lol |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"It is a learning curve for people, I am bound to say the wrong thing at some point( history dictates that I WILL say something stupid at some point) but ask this next time someone tries to offer that particular compliment "your a good looking guy/girl how come you can't get your own girl/guy" lol instant perspective "
Spot on
More a misguided compliment,than intentionally offensive.
Having said that,both of us would still be slightly offended.
We still feel many singles who swing,and I'm afraid I have to add,mainly guys,do not understand swinging.
even though they are quite willing to join couples for sex,they would not consider swinging with their partner,if they were in a relationship.
Sorry guys,that's just our take on it. |
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Its not just single men who look on couples that way we've met couples who've made it clear that they wouldn't normally associate with "people like us" as if what they do is sanctified by Virgin Mary and the rest is us are just there to satisfy their needs lol. Never get past the social meeting with them. |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"Its not just single men who look on couples that way we've met couples who've made it clear that they wouldn't normally associate with "people like us" as if what they do is sanctified by Virgin Mary and the rest is us are just there to satisfy their needs lol. Never get past the social meeting with them."
I should have added,no group is exempt from attitudes,not in the spirit of swinging.
Its just the percentages are higher within some, |
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"Its not just single men who look on couples that way we've met couples who've made it clear that they wouldn't normally associate with "people like us" as if what they do is sanctified by Virgin Mary and the rest is us are just there to satisfy their needs lol. Never get past the social meeting with them.
I should have added,no group is exempt from attitudes,not in the spirit of swinging.
Its just the percentages are higher within some,"
yes you're right |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's down to education I feel, not what school you went to but how willing you are to listen and learn from what is clearly stated in the forums tim and time again, they say there is no manual for life but here in front off you is the manual for the swinging lifestyle enjoy |
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